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Full Chapter: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30983819/chapters/80906605
Reminder that all my sneak peaks are unedited and will be severely altered in the actual story.
Enjoy!
This kind of assignment shouldn’t really surprise him.
He has always been assigned to mutant cases, it was kinda his thing what with harboring so many super powered individuals on his main team. It was only natural that Fury trusted him with this assignment.
Although it was a little weird. Fury was oddly content with just monitoring one Peter B. Parker (and he’s known he heard that name before, he just couldn’t put his finger on it.) aka Spiderman and not enlisting him as an asset. Albeit, the kid wasn’t even in high school yet, but he was still of an above average intelligence that set him apart from his peers; besides the, ya know, superpowers and all that.
Maybe it had something to do with Tony Stark vouching for the kid when he was successful in taking down a potential risk to society - or New York, at least - successfully. Two if Scorpion would be included. It seems like Spiderman was starting to indicate a pattern of stopping risks before they could become full blown dangers. Like a soon-to-be drug lord, or a alien hybrid weapon dealer. Phil had to admit, it was impressive.
Spiderman didn’t seem like a threat, although everything was a threat in this line of business. If it wasn’t with you, it was against you - that sort of thing. But Spiderman seemed to genuinely be one of those things that was as non-lethal as they appeared; well lethal non-lethal, the kid could still throw a bus, no problem.
And it’s not like SHIELD had never turned a blind eye to vigilantes. Daredevil being the prime example, which no one could ever figure that one out - that must frustrate Fury beyond belief. But there was no reason to uproot a kid who hasn’t done anything but help so far. Although, one wrong move and he’d be neutralized; but until then they might as well reach out and acquaintance themselves. Before some bad guy gets the drop on an impressionable pre-teen, went without saying.
The ideal solution would be to shut the entire Spiderman thing down, but Stark had already tried that and that only lead the kid to take down one of his planes. So normal life fix was out of the question, so next best option was to make nice and hope he doesn’t stab them in the back - which would be very hard, considering they were still suspicious of the Avengers.
Making nice, as Stark suggested, would be upgrading that eyesore of a suit. Phil couldn’t help but agree. How the hell had a child in a hoodie and beat up converse taken down an entire plane without getting shredded? Phil found that highly unlikely, and a little part of his bleeding heart ached in sympathy.
The kid was approximately 43 seconds early when he dropped silently into the elevated alley that Phil had set the randevoz at. All he had to do was have Stark send a encrypted message to the kid’s phone - although there was some bellyaching about it being a tad harder what with outdated technology and fucking firewalls how does he even get it that strong? Or some other nonsense like that.
“Gotta admit, I thought I was gonna get kidnapped and experimented on.” he said in a casual tone.
“Night is still young.” Phil joked with a plastered friendly smile, that elevated none of the tension in Spiderman’s posture. Huh, not easily fooled. Daisy did say that his smile could come off a little creepy with a splash of pedophilic, maybe she was right. “You’re shorter than I thought you would be.” Because seriously, this kid was basically a step up from a fetus. A foot shorter than Phil, who was admittedly short for his age, and scrawny as all hell - though the oversize stitched up hoodie did obscure that a bit.
“Rude.” the kid muttered “So if not to kidnap and syphon my blood, what does SHIELD want me for?” he asked, getting straight to business.
“Got somewhere you need to be?” Phil quirked an eyebrow and the kid scoffed, but didn’t say anything more. “We want to be allies.” he stated.
“Sorry, I don’t do teams. Lone wolf-spider kind of guy, ya know.” he said and Phil’s mouth quirked at the pun.
“You misunderstand. You aren’t eligible for the Avengers.” yet. SPiderman shifted a little “Ally was a strong word, more of an acquaintanceship if you will.”
“Is that even a word?” the kid asked skeptically.
“It gets my point across, no?” he quirked a brow up.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Spiderman said rocked on the balls of his heels and swinging his arms a bit, a very child like gesture that Phil filed away for later “So what would this ‘acquaintanceship’ entail?” he asked with a cocked head and a curious lit, Phil smiled a little more genuinely. He couldn’t help it, this kid was fucking adorable. He knows most accounts say Spiderman is annoying, but he guesses he shouldn’t take the people he put away word for anything other than petty insults - although he can see why, it must be irritating to be taken out by a 4’ 5” kid in a hand-me-down track suit. Speaking of
“Well, let’s start with the attire.” Phil held out a brief case and SPiderman looked at it then him then back to the case and paused “You gonna take it, it’s kind of heavy.” he said, just to get Spiderman to take a cautious step forward and delicately exchange the briefcase and set it down to gingerly open it. As if it were a bomb. When it didn’t go off, he inspected the suit in the case. Running his hands over it carefully.”Stark made and approved.” he said as the kid explored the high tech polyester “form fitting and flexible for anya nd all acrobatics. HIgh tech lenses to manage your super senses too.” he recited from what he knew when Stark explained it ot him. There were a million other things, but Phil didn’t really care about them.
“It’s bugged.” the kid concluded flatly, shutting the case and looking up.
“Then debug it.” Phil said with a shrug “That was Stark’s addition, it’s not required.” the pre-teen nodded curtly.
“So what’s my contribution?” the kid stood up, handling the case with him. “This isn’t free, I assume.” he wiggled the case a bit.
“You assume correctly.” Phil smiled “And that’s on a need to know-”
“Yeah, I don’t roll that way.” the kid cut off dryly “Tell me up front, or you got no deal.” Phil was a little speechless.
“Disclosure is up to my superiors-”
“Then get permission to disclose.” Spiderman jutted the case out “I’ll wait.” he said and Phil looked at the case and then at the tiny kid who had gave him the oddest ultimatum he had ever heard, then laughed. The kid stiffened. “What’s so funny?” he sounded near offended and Phil waved him off.
“Nothing, just that,” he sighed good naturedly “You are a smart little tike aren’t you.”
“I’m not a toddler.” the kid grumbled.
“Well, I’m not supposed to but since you leave me no other option and I really don’t wanna play messenger for my grumpy boss and a little prepubescent vigilante, I’ll tell you.” Phil sighed, he was so gonna get torn into for doing this. Oh well, he’s done worse. The kid straightened, but didn’t retract his hand. “You can keep the suit, if we can call on you for missions. Back up and what not.” the kid analyzed him for a second and finally hummed.
“Okay, how about this. I keep the suit, but you don’t get to parade me around like a monkey. I won’t be your lackey.” the kid retracted the suit and Phil furrowed his brow and opened his mouth in protest, but the kid cut him off “I will however, act as a consultant. You need information regarding and surrounding or about anything going down in my stomping grounds, I’ll give it to you with no questions asked.” Phil closed his mouth as the kid took a deep breathe “And, additionally, if you need any back-up, in New York, I will provide it.” he said resultly. “Deal?” the kid stuck out his free, tiny hand.
“Hmm.” Phil considered. How good could a child’s information even be? Good enough to stop a drug empire and entire illegal weapon cyndicate. He also seemed to have good intuition, and having a little spider look out jumping around and keeping an ear out for them wouldn’t be so bad. “Deal.” he took the kid’s hand and shaked firmly, which caught the kid a but off guard but then he matched the strength.
“Okay, cool.” he said as they separated, and awkwardly fidgeted - losing most of that confidence he had a moment ago when he was demanding a fair deal. Phil almost laughed at the contrast. “Uhm… yeah that all?” he asked awkwardly, Phil nodded once. “Cool. Kay, see you around Mr. SHIELD-agent-dude.” he waved and then shot a web off to the nearest building and swung away as Phil looked after him. As he disappeared up and around the corner, practically flying away, Phil couldn’t help a more genuine smile spread across his lips.
Fascinating.
OoO
for more on this series go to: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1415002
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i saw a video with what isn't even a horrifically clickbaity title, but literally the only reason id watch it is to see if im interpreting wrong
to see if they aren't horrifically, horrifically ableist and fucking hate neurodivergent people
but like. my response is "of course i should watch it" cause ???? but last time i did that it was for some shitty video essay about how nonbinary people aren't real or something and i kind of forgot we have a mood disorder