#stardropselection

Wow. Wild.

Asher should have known that Emmanuel was right all along; he was a smart cookie. It was fortunate that the only one he had gotten close to seemed to have figured everything out. All Asher had to do was bask in his glory.

He shouldn't have been surprised at Thierry's sacrifice - or any of the four's sacrifices - given his belief that people were essentially good. Maybe so many disasters implying otherwise had muddied his thoughts over the past few years and left him pessimistic and fatigued. Now he was simply in awe of their selflessness. It didn't seem fair, to be able to witness such courage, only to see it disappear before their time.

To be honest, he couldn't grieve yet, because he was still hoping there'd be some magic trick, or someone jumping out from behind a wall saying it was all just a test of the human spirit or something like that, and everyone would be coming back to life together. Hey, it had all been magical so far. Why not now, too?

(Though such thoughts would be regretted when they did actually disappear, and he hadn't shown them how much he cared.)

He almost jumped when Emmanuel took his hand, too focused on the four leaving them. He turned to him and smiled, looking almost entranced. How could he not be, with the man who saved his life? Who had been so brave in spite of everything, and always honest?

[Definitely. We can't waste our lives not going on adventures!]

[You did so well. I'm so fucking proud of you!]

Ever since he was born, Thierry's world was one of expectations.

Of directions, too-tight collars, demands, punishments, exploitations, and the indignity of inaction. Of social gatherings, hushed whispers, things behind closed doors that no one ever dared to speak of and so no one ever heard. If you never scream, help never comes, and even when it does, when you live in a beautiful gilded cage why should anyone believe you're in need of it at all?

Thierry had screamed, twice, and no one had listened, and so he had lapsed into silence and cowardice and growing sickness as he watched his meager value to people whose love came at a cost not worth paying stay afloat with his sister's life for forfeit.

Thierry died desperately trying to right a wrong, and he'd do so again, now.

"Did I..."

He says, everyone finally able to see the tears that trickle down his face. It's striking, really, how awfully young he looks. How much younger he seems, curled in on himself, crying and scared and frozen in place.

"Did I do the right thing?"

He asks to no one, grief and fear raw in his voice as he brings his arms up to hold himself defensively, eyes already darting around as if trying to gauge potential threats. He seems terrified. Fully, blindingly terrified. But he still manages to speak.

"Does it make me a terrible person?"

Thierry laughs, a shaky and unsure thing, as shaky and unsure hands come up to try to futilely wipe at tears that won't stop coming.

"I said it all along, didn't I? Equinox is not your enemy. I love my team like I love my own family, make no mistake. Perhaps it's...fitting."

He laughs more, mirthlessly, and cries even harder.

Sagittarius nods as the others around him speak, taking the time to compose himself before speaking again.

"A-Alright, so... myself, Aquarius, Libra, Gemini, Capricorn, and Virgo, th-then...? If that is... alright..."

Capricorn went quiet and listened to others talking… Smiling sympathetically at Sagittarius… Then he only perked up when he was mentioned… And when Cancer was mentioned in Sagittarius’ team suggestion as well? It was like… A pleasant surprise. Of course, Capricorn would have been understanding if Sagittarius chose otherwise, but he didn’t. He respected his wishes.

So it was safe to say that Capricorn’s face lit up at the team. It… Was perfect!

All that’s left… Is to wait for Cancer if he was up to go with them. One final time.

But still he’ll confirm to Sagittarius, his tone was lighter but still compassionate.

“Of course, I still want to go!”

Part of himself just… Felt happy that at least, this time Cancer was welcome once again, even if for the final mission. He was sure that Cancer wouldn’t mind, but still looked at him just to confirm.

But right now, Capricorn felt that the others who were in the suggestion should speak up too so, he was willing to hear them out... Although, he knew that everything would be alright in the end.

…

A...lot is coming out at once and honestly? She has no clue how to respond to any of it. She feels for both Mason and Leo, she really does, and she can only hope her worry for them can get across. She holds both her hands to her chest, watching Aquarius attempt to comfort Leo, watching as everyone tries to settle down Mason.

She nods to Libra's take on the situation. It's plain awful. She hates having to be afraid of anyone here when really, none of them would be this fearful in real life. Had they all met in some other circumstance, she's sure they would all get along without jumping at each other's necks. She frowns watching him cry and reaches over to lightly pat his shoulder, not wanting to overstep into his boundaries if he doesn't want it.

"Team Equinox or Solstice, we're all living beings, it's completely unfair that we're being pit against each other like this, and so unevenly. I want to hope that my own accusations never came across as villainizing, but this time I was on the opposite side of that, I can't vouch for how people hear me. I want to think at least some of us are going about this in a more...mathematical way as I am attempting to do. Finding things that add up to get an answer, not to burn someone at the stake."

Though she already knows that's not entirely the case. She knows there are people who just wanted to make sure /they/ got out, and she really can't blame them in that case either. Playing this game on the offensive is the smarter way to go, and she really can't say that she's been playing like that. If she gets caught up in someone else's offensive, well...anyone could, she didn't expect to not get caught up with that.

"I still take no offense from that, Scorpio, I appreciate the apology but I have already forgiven you. If I were to think no one would come after me, well I would just be quite dense, wouldn't I? You did what you needed to do. If that took me out, whatever team you are on, then that's because that's how things were meant to be."

Not the exact wording she meant, but she thinks she got the idea across anyways.

"We...should hold off from doing anything this week, I agree with Pisces, especially after all of this I think we could all use at the least another week to gather our thoughts. Let us all have extra time to live, no matter what team comes out of this at the end...Our last memory together like this shouldn't be so despairing."

She clasps her hands together, an idea hitting her.

After listening… Capricorn’s so tired.

“I’ve been trying to hunt for information about Equinox for a while now… After the first fail, I’ve had my suspicions, then the discussion prior to the skip in the fifth week only helped further my suspicions to all four members of Equinox. But part of me knew Equinox would try everything to undermine my credibility for a good while, to then pretend to be allied to us Solstice. Actually, I’m sure I know who the four Equinox members are now. After everything? I’m sick of the innocent front, I’m sick of the lies. I’m sick of being doubted. Yet… In a way, I understand why. It’s impossible for one human being to be absolutely in the right, it’s normal to have doubt… I’m just… Everything I try to help Solstice and discover Equinox, only to be spat on the face after all. Hah.“

He sighed. Seems like it’s time to call them out.

“Anyway, my suspicions for the Equinox team are Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. If we weren’t in this fucking stupid game, I’d gladly still get along with the two of you there but... Aquarius, I wish I could back you up, I really, really do. But you seem keen to insist on Scorpio’s innocence and while I get your reasoning with Pisces, as it’s fair... Frankly, you defending Scorpio plenty and including her in the team suggestions without any solid reason as to why she could be absolutely trusted to be a Solstice member doesn’t help your case… It’s unrelated to Scorpio now, but you won’t stop making me feel guilty about a certain someone outside of the game. I’ll be honest with you: she doesn’t deserve the life she has been given and she deserves so much better, and I want to help you two so much but… I can’t help but doubt your sincerity to help me in return in case I eat shit. However, I understand why you’d look for information in order to try to stay alive, that isn’t negotiable, us people are trying to survive after all and you’re not different. And it’s sad to say, but Scorpio, I now am sure after all that you’re the one who threw Cancer under the bus on the fourth mission anyway so people would doubt him and then you went back to pretend to be our ally by being vaguely ‘helpful’, pushing yourself on the team last time before as well to then change your stance this week is very strange to say the least. Taurus may have lied once officially, but I wouldn’t put it past them to also give information they found to their fellow Equinox members while they conveniently made it very hard to find information about themself in particular so all the team’s personal info wouldn’t immediately be found out that easily... I was told they're not the only one, Scorpio's information was challenging to find as well! And Leo was very insistent on being on a mission as Virgo pointed out last time and he wanted it to happen no matter what, which makes it quite suspicious. I’m done pretending to doubt my reasoning anymore. I’ve opened my mind to the possibilities of anyone else being in Equinox, I’ve thought about it for a long time, but you four simply have the strongest correlation to being in that team.”

Oh... oh dear. This was a lot.

Sagittarius was quiet as usual, watching as everybody around him discussed. He knew he'd have to jump in at some point, much as he didn't really want to - everyone else was making good decisions and ideas already! He didn't want to step on anyone's toes...

Then Taurus said... that, and so began the back-and-forth between the others. It was so... confusing, and so... scary, really. A reminder that they couldn't all quite work together as much as they wanted to, a reminder that not all of them would return to the land of the living when all was said and done. Trying to survive could easily bring about the end of any number of the others.

It was all... so cruel, wasn't it?

As everything settled down, Sagittarius slowly rose his hand. Gemini had asked for something from each of them at the beginning - he could still offer that, even if he had nothing to offer to the situation with Virgo. He faced their current mission's leader and spoke, trying to steady his voice and not sound like he's about to cry.

"...I-I think... choosing people who, um... who haven't gone yet... i-is a good idea, just for the sake of... um, if we want to... t-to cover out bases, as it were...? I... I think..."

Gemini had been silent the last Stardrop Selection, and she wouldn't mind being silent again if it wasn't for her nagging curiousity. She also had a feeling the Cadaver Club shouldn't let this moment together go to waste. These selection processes were meant to engender some form of discussion, so why not drum a little up?