#starcock

I have! But here, have another one (you and anon that also asked for this):

thank for letting me yap ily

regulus looks up to lucius a lottt. i like the idea that pureblood families are very very close knit so regulus saw lucius often + followed him around school, and for some reason that stuck up ness, the respect he got, the validation wooed him. lucius was smart and charming and literally the coolest person ever and regulus wanted him sb he was going crazy

[assume modern muggle universe]

See Sirius has had the hots for Lucius since he was little tweenager, and when he’s 19(he doesn’t run away from his parents here) he finds out Lucius had an affair with the loser Lestrange brother meaning he’s up for grabs in the sense he’s not entirely heterosexual. But obviously Lucius is still married to his cousin which is a problem! So Sirius naturally decides make eyes at Lucius, and purposefully show off his midriff, and get closer than need be, and he hears the way his breathing gets shallow, and how he refuses to make eye contact, and knows it’s working.

So oneday he decides to lure Lucius off to a bathroom while they’re at a fancy party, and attempts to seduce him. Lucius makes a pretty good imitation of being a good christian man who won’t cheat on his wife with another man for like five minutes before he’s like “feck it” and they wander into a stall and obviously it escalates from there.

And Sirius keeps doing this and they’re just having a full blown love affair for like two years. Sirius love seducing him in places that are semi public because the idea of almost getting caught gets him off. and Lucius is like hissing “Sirius, we shan’t do that here my wife will surely be suspicious!” Sirius is like “omg stop being like that. it’ll be fine” knowing damn well he wants her to be suspicious.

But then Narcissa gets pregnant with Draco. Sirius fucking hates this. Lucius likes the idea of being a father theoretically but is fundamentally a little irresponsible pathetic man and doesn’t want a child cramping his style.

So they run away together! And Sirius’ friends think it’s awful but he doesn’t gaf.

They end up staying together for like years because Lucius knows Narcissa will be passive aggressive for the rest of their lives if he does. And they get married when people shit about their relationship.

Lucius is bitter af because he feels like Sirius took his life away, Sirius is upset because he thinks Lucius should be more grateful for his presence so they’re always at each other's throats. And Draco decides to get in contact with Lucius when he’s like 12 which makes it all worse because he stays with them every few weeks now. Lucius becomes an alcoholic<333 Sirius is father shaped but keeps accidentally saying fucked up shit to Draco which puts Lucius on edge.