#star lover

[ID: two flags. It has seven stripes and is multiple shades of oranges and yellows. The first flag is the flag by itself, the second flag is an orange sun and gold stars. End of ID]

Created ;; 5 / 21 / 2024

Star 4 Sun ;; When you are a Sun type in love with a Star type. A Star type in love with a Sun type.

This man took 140 pulls to come home fml

// 3.3 ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED //

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Overall thoughts, I liked it a lot!! I went into this expecting the Therapy Arc (tm) and while we did get that, I did not expect things to play out the way they did. I really enjoyed it though, and I think there's a lot to be said in the execution about how trauma affects people (but more on that later).

Starting off, it seems like Scaramouche has chilled tf out considerably from the end of the 3.2 quest, probably a side effect from dropping 50 feet headfirst into concrete and then waking up to find out he's been fired. Nahida once again proves she's best girl in the first five minutes of the quest -- she's kind yet pragmatic, harboring Scaramouche while also putting him to use, and giving him a huge piece of a puzzle he's been missing.

I do wish we could have seen more of Niwa and Nagamasa's relationship with Scaramouche, though. It would've made the subsequent scenes hit so much harder.

Dottore putting Niwa's actual heart into the device was really surprising. I guess it served to further convince Scaramouche of Niwa's betrayal?

Scaramouche's info about our sibling is also very interesting. 👀 We know beforehand that after crash landing on Teyvat, the abyss twin woke up and saw Khaenri'ah being destroyed. This tracks with what Scaramouche tells us, that Khaenri'ah was our twin's "first destination after arriving to this world." I thought that that meant our twin just saw the destruction and chaos raining down immediately and left, but I guess they must have stayed in Khaenri'ah for a while if Pierro remembers them. (Gee, thanks for leaving us at the crash zone for days?? Weeks? 💀)

I'm not sure what is meant by "Plus, [the Abyss Twin] only came to this world because the heavens responded to the summoning." The twins "crash landed" on Teyvat twice -- is Scaramouche talking about the first time, or the second? I guess the second would make more sense, since the "heavens responding" could be the Unknown God trapping us, but in that case, what about the first time we crash landed? Also, what summoning are they talking about? Nahida mentioned that if she destroyed a Gnosis, the Heavenly Principles might respond... was the Cataclysm the result of something similar happening?

Anyways, after that lore drop, Scaramouche tries to undo his existence to give his old friends a second chance at life. ;-; All of his anger at the world was a result of the "betrayals" he lived through, so to find out that Niwa never betrayed him at all... I wonder how much of his decision was him wanting to do right by Niwa and the others, and how much of it was him wanting to just disappear from the world. D:

It's a little strange that Nahida tells us to wait things out in a random hotel after all that, but I guess she wants to make sure we're set up with accommodations...? xD

I really am starting to like the traveler and Paimon's interactions more and more. Honestly, I don't remember much of them prior to the 3.0 archon quest, but I appreciate how much the traveler thinks of Paimon's well being ("the truth might be very distressing for Paimon...") and how much Paimon tries to cheer us up, or change the topic when she senses the traveler is feeling down. :D

(It's also pretty cute, and classic Paimon how she lists off her favorite foods to try and take her mind off things LOL)

The next couple of scenes take place in Inazuma -- I can't remember if we've traveled to different nations during archon quests before, but it's a nice change of pace, and makes complete sense with what's going on. I appreciate the knowledge that the "new Kazuha" is the same one we've known ;u;

I was really excited when I saw that the prerequisite for this archon quest was Kazuha's story quest, because I thought that he might appear here. Oh well. 😔

Nahida's way of storing information in an abstract fairytale was very clever. I wonder if she does this with other things as well?

The fairytale itself is very cute, but I did find myself laughing at the last scene with Scara's angry kitten eyes lol.

The most interesting thing about the fairy tale, however, is the monster that represents "Dottore." Since Dottore was "Zandik" before, I guess the "monster" part is Dottore seeing himself as different/worse than other people? Anyways, if we take the fairytale at face value it means that he tried to live amongst other people for a while, but still hated himself for being a monster, and hated others for not being able to see it.

In the fairytale's version of events, Dottore sees Scaramouche getting along with the foxes, and gets pissed off. In reality, Dottore had already joined the Fatui at that point. Did something similar happen to Dottore in the past, though? The Feather of the Pale Flame set mentions that he was chased away from his hometown, which doesn't really give enough detail.

I doubt we'll get these answers for a long time, probably not until Dottore becomes playable.

In the next couple of scenes, we see Wanderer! Throughout this archon quest so far, I'm thinking that we'll undo the damage Scaramouche caused and give him proper therapy (tm) or something that kickstarts the costume change. It was after our conversation with Nahida, seeing that she wasn't aware of Scaramouche before we told her that I realized that this change would be permanent. I have mixed feelings about this, although most of them are positive (but more on this later!!)

Wanderer is... really good-natured. He works without pay, just because the shopkeeper let him shelter from the rain once. At some point though, when we're trying to convince him to come with us, it seems like he has a flash of insight? It wasn't brought up again, but after that, it seemed like his personality changed a bit... I'm still confused about what that was, lol.

After that, we journey through memory lane. I really like the change in direction when it comes to trial combat in stories. Before, it felt a bit contrived, like the story was just finding reasons for us to enter a dungeon with that story character. (Don't even get me started on Eula's dumbass story quest.)

This felt really natural, though, and IIRC Nilou's story quest didn't even have a real dungeon (just a small scene where she beat off some enemies). I prefer this vastly to having a mediocre or poor story + a proper dungeon.

Back to the fight, Paimon's "Hey! Are you done yet!?" to Wanderer as he was having a mental breakdown had me in tears 💀💀

I loved the scene of him grabbing his past self's hand, as well as his past self holding onto his hand. He speedran Fischl's whole Persona 4 sequence and did it in the nick of time 🥇

He wasn't able to reach that distant light he saw, but in the end, by accepting his past self -- Scaramouche's anger and grief and wrongdoings, he created his own light, and in turn, received an Anemo vision. (Does that mean, then, that Anemo visions are given out when people are able to accept their circumstances? Or is it still something else? Vision discourse has been a thing since the start of this game and all of the explanations I've seen or come up with have felt "sort of right, but missing something still." I can't wait til we get the answers to these questions, if ever)

And after all that, at journey's end... our gremlin (tm) has returned. 🎉

...He even lets us choose his new name! I like how for certain names, he rejects them outright lol. (His reaction was kind of muted though lol, I was expecting a little more than "You can't be serious 😑")

After I spent 140 pulls on him to bring him home, I was all for calling him Scaradouche, but in the end I settled on... Tsutsuji.

I have a lot (tm) of feelings about Wanderer's story. I'm sad that Kazuha no longer has as strong of a reason to show up where Scaramouche does (more best boi content is always welcome thank u), I'm happy that Wanderer and Nahida are now canon buddies/coworkers, and I'm apprehensive and curious because WHAT WAS THAT ENDING WHO WAS THAT???

One of the more prominent feelings I have about Scara's story is a deep sense of sadness. Scaramouche could not accept who he was, and erased himself as a result. However, Wanderer, a completely different person at that point, was able to accept Scaramouche.

While it's definitely not a 1:1 comparison, I'm reminded of a story I read years ago, "Star Lover."

For such a short story, a lot of things happen in it -- but the part I'm most concerned with here is the idea that to truly recover from past trauma, it had to have never happened at all.

Tsutsuji, one of the main characters in "Star Lover," embodies this idea, which is where the name comes from.

Would things have been better for Scaramouche he sat down and worked through his issues, instead of "running away" to become a completely different person? It's hard to say. After all, it was only through Wanderer that he's eventually able to come to terms with his past.

In real life, people try to find meaning in their trials, purpose in their trauma. Weighed down by emotions, they push their way through creeping ivy and waist-high water. There's an ingrained philosophy that "trauma is an opportunity to come out stronger."

To be clear, this is not a bad philosophy. In fact, it's the only way many people have to move forward.

But... what if you never had to experience that past trauma at all? What if you could just undo it?

Neither Scaramouche nor Tsutsuji waded through a bog of their past trauma. In Scaramouche's case, Wanderer was able to do it for him. In Tsutsuji's case, it was like it had never happened at all.

If only we could do the same in real life.

Other Random Thoughts:

The "Inner Irminsul" area was beautiful. I remember thinking before that Sumeru was going to be very nature-focused, seeing as it was the land of dendro, but I am really really digging the added high-tech aspect as well, from the story to the landscapes.

After seeing Niwa's death, Scaramouche mockingly asks if we're actually worried about him. He says something similar in the previous archon quest ("hmph, those words make you sound like a friend who actually cares.") little shit

I counted three Lumine "wtf !!!" faces this quest

"The wisest leaders are fated to end up with the best helpers" ASDFGHJKL; INJECT THE SCARA NAHIDA FRIENDS/SIBLINGS CANON STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINS

I really loved this quote as well: "The past is set in stone, but you can keep moving on. And the longer your future lasts, the shorter your past will become, until one day it is but a tiny fraction of your life." ;-; Nahida best girl

While the quote is uplifting, it's also quite bittersweet... what if you want to hold onto your past self? Plus something something passage of time becomes faster the longer you've lived. Someone like Zhongli would probably be pained when reminded of this quote/truth.

The last part of this story reminded me of No Way Home, a little bit. But while I hated No Way Home, I loved this. I think for NWH I was too sad about Peter losing literally everyone who knew and loved him?? For Scaramouche lmao it's not like anyone loved the Balladeer (except for Niwa and the others hrngggg). Poor Niwa, it's not like things really matter anyways because he's dead but there's something so sad about Wanderer feeling so guilty and sad about his friend's death, whereas Niwa in this new reality doesn't even know who he is.

Ik I mentioned this before but who ???? is the voice at the end? I'm so excited and curious to find out more about them, and about what it means for the story as a whole.

"Fate is called as such, for it cannot be changed, nor can it be reversed. It can only but be accepted." <- This quest really ended up being a textbook example of what Mona says, huh. I guess this is also related to what the mysterious voice said at the end? That things can't really be changed in Teyvat.

I wonder if that gives the Teyvat simulation theory more credit... aaaaa it's all so interesting

Also, what if information was rewritten in Irminsul before? Nothing enormous events-wise could have been changed (unless the people who make the "rules" that nothing big can be changed ARE the ones who rewrote something) but it's still interesting and kind of frightening to think about!