Jul 7, 2025
I'm in a pretty bad place mentally right now, so I might not be too active on here tonight
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I'm in a pretty bad place mentally right now, so I might not be too active on here tonight
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so stressed
why am I in this skin right now?? Why is everything too loud and too cold and too hot and too much everything????
Why don't I just have time to do what I need to do??? Please give me time to work!!!!
Some fucking vampire I am. I can't even fucking donate blood because my iron levels are too low
I'm actually so upset right now
serious vent below: TW MENTIONS OF S/H, BODY SHAMING, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, GENERAL DEPRESSING THEMES
I cannot believe this. They keep abandoning me.
Like the first literal day of this stupid fucking goddamn trip, both of them ditching me and going to get food without telling me even though we all promised to get food together (and they main rule of this trip is you cannot be by yourself. You have to have a partner), or the second day where I was ditched by both of them three times in the span of 2 hours, or like on the third day when they left me alone at the Versailles Gardens and I had to find my way out of the hedge maze with the boys on this trip, or like the 4th day when we all promised to sit next to each other on the bus & get food for our Soliel Plage group together and they went and sat at the back of the bus without me and refused to move any of their bags to give me room amd then left me in the grocery store, or today how both of them every time I wanted to hang out with them at the pool would say "yeah sure!" and then when I turned around to see if they were following me would be gone and be off together, and we're making fun of me for wanting to race them on the water slides
Not to fucking MENTION the body shaming they've been doing. THAT EVERY FUCKING GIRL ON THIS STUPID TRIP HAS BEEN DOING
I want to rip off all of my skin and just get away from this whole goddamn place.
Everyone isn't "skinny" enough or "pretty" enough, or "tan" enough, and I want to just end it all
I'm just going to pray to the Starlight and go to bed
tw talk of s/h, self deprecating jokes
Local caboose relapsed. Again.
God I just can't do anything right, can I? And I can't even be mad, it's completely my fault!! I deserve this, it's my fault that I'm not doing better even though I try, even though I fucking try every day to get better, but I just can't!!! I had to go and cut my leg up again, I just had to, and I can't even blame anybody else for making me relapse because it's always my fault!!!!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I think I'm just going to go skating tonight. Stay out of the house as much as possible and just get away from everything
Sitting in my bedroom in the dark, listening to Queen music and crying right now
I'm taking a fucking break from this blog