My Post Oireachtas Reflection
So, I think I finally came down from my Oireachtas high, and many times I think it’s a dream. This recall is something I’ve wanted and worked for, for so long, that it’s a little hard to accept that it really happened. Because let’s face it, we’ve all doubted if we could accomplish something at least once in our lives. But it did happen.
Since coming home, I’ve been reflecting a lot over my dance career. Everyone sees my achievement, but no one saw what happened behind the screen. And I actually wanted to share that because you don’t get to hear those stories.
I would say I was a late starter in Irish Dance (I started when I was 13) but I’ve come to learn that there are many, many talented men and women who started at a much later age and that hasn’t affected them whatsoever.
I was told I had a natural talent, and I had a ton of fun. But even though I moved quickly through grades, I had a coach that didn’t mesh well with me, and after a while I found myself stuck without the guidance I desired.
When my original coach refused to help me or spend extra time with me or giving the harder material I needed to progress, I left. I trasnferred to a school and to a TC that did work with me, and believed in my ability and gave me the tools I needed to succeed.
I flourished under this new school. I finally achieved Preliminary Champion at 16. But this happy period was short live. After a year and a half, my TC moved, and could no longer teach us; so I was placed into a new school, just four months before Oireachtas.
It was also my Senior year of high school. I worked really hard. Because by this time I had seen girls go to Nationals and saw them recall at Oireachtas and heard of this thing called Worlds, and I thought how cool it would be to go to Nationals, or do this recall thing. But that year was literally the worst Oireachtas of my life. I felt like I humiliated myself. I didn’t have enough time to adapt to the new style or perfect anything I had because I had to learn all new steps.
And then it was all over. I graduated high school. And I could no longer dance. I moved away for college.i had no car. And when I finally had a car, I tried to join a school and they essentially told me I was a joke. So I stopped.
It took me another four years to realize that I wasn’t done.
I felt unaccomplished, and that this part of my life was unfinished.
I started dancing again at 24, six years after I had “quit” I knew I wanted two things: to make Open, and to recall.
While I have an amazingly supportive teacher (and I am now in my fifth dance school), it was hard coming back. My hips hurt the first few months. I developed shin splints that ended up lasting a year and some months. I still didn’t understand turnout or how to make it happen. I’m not very flexible, and I found out that almost everyone can kick their face (I’m still trying to figure that out). I was severely out of shape. I have asthma on top of that. For a long time it felt like I was working an uphill battle.
I competed at my first Oireachtas that year and I was dreadfully, painfully sick. There was no way I was going to recall. I didn’t feel bad, I knew I was less than a year back into dancing. So I used it as my learning experience. And I finally figured out the mechanics of an Oireachtas and what everything entailed. And I developed a game plan for the following year.
I did reach one goal. I made Open Champion nine months after I started competing again. I was thrilled.
The next year I made major improvements. That summer I met the school’s choreographer who is also an AD, and she told me I was going to fix my turnout in a month, or I could kiss the thought of ever recalling goodbye. So I did. In exactly a month she returned and I actually could turnout my feet - mostly. It’s still a work in progress.
Then Oireachtas came again. I felt ready. But I found out I wasn’t mentally. I messed up both of my rounds. I could have kicked myself. So, again no recall. This broke me, because I knew I could do it. I did find I was only 7 away. But I was devastated.
So this past year I doubled down. I sacrificed so much. I worked extra hours to afford a new custom dress (my first one). I lost almost 20 pounds of fat while also building muscle prior to Nationals. I had no expectations but found I was 7 away from recall. I gave up most of my free nights training at the gym, or going to extra classes. I changed my diet. I changed my training habits. I was doing everything I could think of...to make this Oireachtas count.
I woke up the morning of the Oireachtas, saying to myself “today I’m going to do it”
For the past month I had been in a perpetual cycle of strong confidence and devastating self doubt. I didn’t know if I did enough. I didn’t know if everything would pay off. I didn’t want to let myself, my teachers, my friends, my teammates all down a third year. I didn’t know if I could handle it. I even cried post hard shoe round after basically losing all stamina midway through. I was told to pull it together for second round. So I did. I only had to wait after that and hope.
And then my number was called.
It’s been 11 years since my first Oireachtas at 15, I was just a prizewinner going for the experience, and dancing on a team. I had been wanting this day for 11 years. And it finally happened.
I apologize for it’s length, but I didn’t write this post to brag. Or to bore you with this long story. I wanted to share my journey, as a way to offer hope.
For all of you dreaming, hoping, wishing for even the smallest accomplishment. Just keep working. It took me 11 years. And now I feel like with enough work, I can accomplish so much more.
There are plenty of ladies out there saying there is no time limit. And I fully support this ideal. If you want it, go make it happen. Keep pushing, keep changing, keep fighting for what you want.
