#squidverse

How did he get it, you ask? After all, our Jon boy isnt exactly giving with his money for anything other than his experiments and books. Well, Harley bought it for him after finding it at this thrift store they were practically pillaging. Jon had reached his social battery limit™️ so almost missed this, but Harley picked it up for him.

He wears it while working on his fear toxin (its the only thing that can make him wear an apron. This man completely disregards both his own and humanity's safety in search for the best spooky hroo hraa toxin)

Wei Wuxian was still not entirely sure he’d entirely understood the whole thing right.

“So, let me just make sure I have a clear grasp on this,” he said. “When we go to the Cloud Recesses to study, we will be joined by the second young master of Qinghe, Nie Huaisang, who is…a squid?”

“That’s right,” Jiang Yanli said encouragingly.

“Like…a squid yao?”

“No,” Jiang Cheng said. “He’s an actual squid.”

Wei Wuxian’s eye twitched.

“Technically, Sect Leader Nie claims he is a squid yao,” Jiang Fengmian objected mildly.

“Sure,” Madame Yu said. “A squid yao that just hasn’t ever shifted to human shape, right?” She rolled her eyes. “Very convenient.”

“I don’t think anything here suggests that Sect Leader Nie is doing it for convenience, Mother,” Jiang Yanli murmured, and everyone reluctantly nodded.

No one in their right mind would do something like this for convenience.

Weirdos from Qinghe indeed…

“Don’t squids have to be in water?” Wei Wuxian asked, feeling a little like his entire world had been overturned. “Do they just – what – cart around a giant bucket…”

He trailed off.

Everyone else looked so resigned.

“They do?”

Nods.

“How do they know it’s him?” Wei Wuxian asked. He’d moved on from shock and now just felt like he’d been hit in the head too hard. “And not just…you know…some spare bit of soon-to-be calamari that hadn’t made it to the kitchen yet?”

“He likes carrying a fan,” Jiang Cheng said.

“A fan?”

“Yeah, a fan. Holds it in one of his tentacles, waves it around a lot, sometimes bonks me over the head with it – what are you all looking at?” he demanded. “You’re the ones who make me hang out with him every time there’s a discussion conference!”

Wei Wuxian had never been allowed to go to the discussion conferences, not even the ones held in the Lotus Pier – Madame Yu had insisted vociferously enough that Jiang Fengmian had yielded, especially after Wei Wuxian had opined that he didn’t want to go to a boring old conference anyway. Jiang Cheng had always looked deeply jealous at the way Wei Wuxian got to skip town for a week.

“We did not such thing,” Madame Yu said. “You were told to go spend time with the other sect heirs.”

“And? Nie Huaisang is his brother’s heir – and the only other sect heir that regularly attends discussion conferences is Jin Zixuan.”

“Definitely the squid, then,” Wei Wuxian said at once, then ducked his head when Madame Yu glared at him. “To avoid any trouble, of course!”

“Easy for you to say,” Jiang Cheng grumbled. “Nie Huaisang is plenty of trouble on his own, I’ll have you know.”

“And yet you willingly went to spend time with him,” Madame Yu reminded her son.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “He seemed lonely? I figured it was the least I can do…okay, you’re all staring at me again. What now?”

“He’s a squid,” Jiang Fengmian stressed. “How lonely can he be?”

“…he’s a very expressive squid?”

“I guess we’ll all find out,” Wei Wuxian said quickly before anyone started criticizing Jiang Cheng. “We’ll see him soon enough when we get to Gusu. Thank you for your warning, Uncle Jiang.”

“I still think sending him to the Cloud Recesses is actually Sect Leader Nie making a gesture against the Jin sect,” Madame Yu said. “After all, the – er – well, I mean, everyone knows that Nie-er-gongzi can’t be without an attendant, and apparently the attendant in question is one of the Jin bastards. Isn’t this blatantly trying to give him the education he would have been entitled to if he’d been recognized?”

“Nie Mingjue isn’t so subtle,” Jiang Fengmian objected. “More likely he simply thought the young man had potential –”

“Or maybe Nie Huaisang picked him,” Jiang Cheng said. “He can point with his tentacles –”

“We should go finish packing!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, then saluted the adults and dragged his shidi out of the room. “Jiang Cheng, stop antagonizing your parents by claiming you think the squid is smart.”

“Nie Huaisang is smart.”

The worst part of it, Wei Wuxian reflected later, was that Jiang Cheng was right.

Nie Huaisang really was incredibly smart.