Day 1 - Almost

Eating breakfast with Larik quickly became a habit.

… and then lunch. And then dinner.

Both Coal and Omeluum insisted on his presence or they would refuse to east anything, no matter what Vlassk tried to convince them otherwise.

Omeluum would start to cry and Coal throw a tantrum, resulting in their brain slices ending up everywhere but their stomachs. And in the end, Vlassk had to give in. It was annoying at first, all of his muscles and limbs bristling and tense and his eye watching Larik very closely while in the vicinity of his kids but with time, things changed.

Larik wasn’t a threat. Neither to his kids nor him and soon enough, Vlassk found himself relaxed and calm whenever the much taller illithid entered the room. And was even looking forward to meeting him – not that he would ever admit that, though.

It was during one of their collaborative dinners, when it happened.

Vlassk was busy feeding Omeluum while shooting side glances at Larik – who was handling the much squirmier and stubborn Coal – now and then to make sure all was in order and going well.

His treacherous little heart fluttered at the sight of his child in Larik’s arms and how careful he was with him. His tentacles formed a solid sling that cradled Coal to his chest while one arm was securely wrapped around his small body for extra support and to keep him somewhat under control and from climbing up his shoulders and onto his head.

Coal grabbed for his face and giggled while Larik cooed and purred and carefully fed him.

Vlassk felt the tips of his tentacles tingling and his eyes growing soft and almost sighed. He was startled by that small sound trying to escape his throat and gave a quick shake of his head before brushing that odd feeling inside his chest aside and going back to feeding Omeluum.

The process of giving his twins their food was far easier and quicker with Larik’s assistance than when he had done it all on his own, and Vlassk couldn't help but be grateful for that. A little bit, at least.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t manage on his own but with Larik things certainly seemed easier. Especially since Mar’reen had their own things and duties to attend to and rarely had time for helping him with such mundane things nowadays.

Another thing that Vlassk would never admit out loud, but which was nevertheless true was that me missed Mar’reen and their attention. They had been the first person to show genuine care and concern and worry for him and it had been all too easy to get addicted to it. And now that they weren't solely responsible for his well being and that of his children anymore, they had other patients to tend to.

This time, Vlassk didn’t mind the sigh escaping him. It was a small, tired sound; like the gray haze clouding over his thoughts, but easily breached and brushed aside when Omeluum’s mind nudged at his own and the little squidling made an inquiring chirp and tilted its head in confusion.

Vlassk blinked, then chuckled and leaned down to nuzzle the small face. He sent a wave of reassuring fondness, inlaid with the mental message of “Everything is alright. No worries, my dear” to the small, still developing mind twining and mingling with his own and saw Omeluum’s face changing back to a relaxed state.

Its big, bright eyes softened and grew heavy with exhaustion as its tentacles wriggled and knotted into each other. Vlassk chuckled and purred at the cute display and felt a small hand grasping for his face but missing and settling for a tentacle instead.

Adorable, he thought with another controlled burst of affection and care as he pulled the little one tighter against his chest. And then, he felt a change in Coal’s and Larik’s minds.

Coal’s thoughts halted for a mere second before lighting up with an idea which sparked a rush of curious determination. Larik made a noise of surprise and then- …

“Ow!”

Vlassk winced when he felt a spike of pain from Larik and lifted his head off of Omeluum and turned to look what his little troublemaker of a son had done this time.

Larik’s eyes were squinted and his shoulders tense and still as he held onto Coal with one hand and a spoon with the other while said kid tightly held onto one of his tentacles and chewed on it.

Vlassk couldn’t help but snort. Coal really didn’t seem to grow out of that habit, no matter what they tried to tell him that – more often than not – it was rather dangerous to shove something into his mouth.

He mentally reached out for Larik’s mind and skimmed over the outer edges to asses the damage his son was doing and was relieved to find that it was barely more than a pesky nibble. Still, it was bad manners and downright rude to chew on someone else and Vlassk had to do something about it.

Rising from his seat, Vlassk moved closer to them and adjusted his hold on Omeluum to free one of his tentacles.

“Now, now”, he cooed at Coal as he patted his head with said tentacle and carefully reached for Larik’s trapped limb. “Uncle Larik may look tasty but he’s not here to be eaten, Coal.”

He felt a snicker from Coal and a jolt of surprise from Larik but paid neither much mind as he gently pried the tentacle out of Coal’s grasp and mouth. The little squidling resisted for a bit and tightened his little hands but Vlassk’s tentacle on his head slid down to his back and rubbed encouraging circles around his spine.

“Uncle Larik may refuse to eat with us again if he’s the one on the menu”, Vlassk tried again with words and that finally did it. He felt recognition and understanding from Coal and the barest hint of regret before his hands unfurled and let go of Larik’s tentacle and allowed it to slip out of his mouth.

Vlassk purred and gave him a few more head pats. “Such a good squidling”, he cooed and nudged his tiny mind with warm, proud approval which had Coal blinking and squirming and giggling.

When he lifted his head to make sure Larik was fine and to apologize for Coal’s behavior however, he was surprised by the blank, dreamy look in his eyes and the fuzzy state of his mind.

Vlassk blinked and slowly waved a tentacle in front of his face. “Larik?”, he tentatively asked, wondering if Coal accidentally had pierced skin and damaged some nerves. “Are you-”

He yelped when his tentacle suddenly – and without warning – was grabbed and held. Vlassk flinched and tried to recoil and get away but the hold on his limb was too firm to have it budge and slip free.

His breathing quickened and his heart pounded against his chest as his mind began to race and swirl and boil with emotions and resurfacing memories but before anything serious could happen, Larik’s hold on him loosened. It didn’t vanish completely but at least Vlassk didn’t feel trapped anymore and his anxiety began to calm down again.

He forced himself to breathe deep and evenly. This is fine, he reminded himself. He was free and safe and this wasn’t him. This was Larik, whom he had meet barely a month ago and who had so cheekily stolen his kinds hearts and now had the audacity to touch him without a warning or asking first!

Vlassk’s mind bristled and sizzled and he grimaced as his tentacles quivered angrily. He was about to slap and snap at Larik when he blinked and his eyes changed. Focus returned to them, along with something else – something, that had Vlassk’s breath hitching and his heart stuttering.

He was stunned by that peculiar look in his amber eyes and couldn’t find the strength in him to look away as the tentacle on his own softly caressed it and send a shiver down his spine. Something in the back of his mind tingled.

He watched with widening eyes and fluttering heart when Larik moved; leaned closer and tilted his head as if to rest it against Vlassk’s and a jolt of excited surprise raced through his veins and lit them ablaze.

Vlassk didn’t know what was happening but it felt important – special – and he didn’t dare to interrupt as Larik came closer. Inch by inch and at an agonizingly slow pace as if waiting for Vlassk to pull back and retreat.

He didn’t. He watched and waited and allowed whatever Larik was doing; his throat running dry and his mind tightening and tensing until it felt as if it was about to snap. And then …

… then the door flew open and Mar’reen entered the room and just as unexpected and sudden as that weird moment between Vlassk and Larik had started, it ended.

Both of them made a small noise and jumped apart. Vlassk felt his face heating and paling while he sensed a similar reaction from Larik's mind, mixed with guilt and a touch of sad regret.

Mar’reen’s thoughts however, were sharp and suspicious and smug as they asked: “Did I interrupt something?”

Day 7 - Dare

Larik’s throat was running very dry very fast as he stared and didn’t dare to blink.

In his eyes, Vlassk was always gorgeous. From the moment they had met, he’d been stunned silent by the uniqueness of his appearance.

He clearly – and fondly – remembered their first meeting, when those fierce, mismatched eyes had met his own gaze and glared at him so sternly, Larik had felt as if his head was pierced by it. How they had made his breath hitch and his tentacles twitch with interest.

And even now, after knowing Vlassk and his wonderful kids for years, Larik still found himself in situations that left him breathless. Situations just like the one he was in right now; with his eyes pinned to Vlassk’s back and the delicately tied ropes covering it.

Their rich, dark red was a perfect contrast to Vlassk soft, blue coloration, and was even further pronounced by the ropes rough texture compared to his smooth skin, which moved and flexed slightly under the notions of his breathing.

Only a few years ago, Larik would never have dreamed of trying out something like shibari with Vlassk, and even less so suggested it. But now? Now the trust between them was solidified and encompassing; all misunderstandings and doubts washed away by the tide of their growing and flourishing feelings for each other.

“You’re beautiful”, Larik couldn’t help but mutter; sounding exactly as breathless and awed as he felt. He saw Vlassk’s shoulders tense the tiniest bit – he still wasn’t entirely used to getting compliments and Larik suspected he never truly would be – and moved his head to the side to give Larik a glance over his shoulder.

Larik’s throat tightened and a pleasant shiver ran down the length of his tentacles and spine when that single red eye met his own pair and effectively pinned him into place. He swallowed and for a moment just silently stared back; still trying to grasp that this was really happening and not just one of his dreams.

“May I touch you?”, he eventually asked and saw Vlassk’s tails twitching and the tips of his tentacles curling. Vlassk stared for a moment longer before inclining his head and nodding.

Larik smiled and whispered gratitude and joy and happiness against the edge of Vlassk’s mind before gingerly reaching towards him with both his tentacles and hands, but flinched when he felt a sharp mental nudge.

When his eyes found back to Vlassk’s face, he was being smirked at. “Hands only”, he commanded and Larik obeyed without question or protest; tucking his tentacles back against his chest and making contact with his fingers only.

Vlassk was cool to the touch – far cooler than Larik himself – and coated in a thin layer of damp mucous with a very distinct and exceptional smell. One, that was far less sweet and prominent that that of other illithids; faint and crisp and fresh like the salty breeze of the sea. It was a smell which Larik associated with happiness and joy and love. With home.

Larik slowly and carefully trailed his hands down; following the tightly knotted ropes and dark markings on Vlassk’s back until he met his sharp hipbones. He gave them a small but languid caress and heard the smallest gasp from Vlassk and smiled before he let his hands wander upwards again.

He still had a hard time believing this was real; that he was allowed to touch this beautiful, wonderful person and call him his husband. His partner. His love.

There had been a time, when Larik thought the very idea of finding love and a family for himself laughable and impossible. But things had changed since then. He no longer was part of the harem of his colony and free to do whatever he pleased without having to worry about accidentally breaking any rules and getting punished for it.

He was his own person now; with his own life and his own family and future. And he couldn’t be happier about it.

He felt Vlassk shuddering under his gentle touches and heard him pull in a hissing breath; his shoulders rising and the rope tightening around his upper body.

“Beautiful”, Larik couldn’t help and whisper again; a gentle and proud brush against Vlassk’s mind imbued with all the fondness and care and reverence he felt whenever looking at him.

Vlassk’s frills and tails fluttered ever so slightly and a pale blush crept onto his face; yet his tentacles curled upwards and the corner of his eye softened visibly. “Just as you are”, he whispered back with the same amount of tender emotions as he reached for Larik; a tentacle gently cupping and caressing his cheek.

Larik leaned into the touch – closing his eyes for a moment to truly feel it – and purred. It was a low rumbling sound, vibrating both through his chest and his mind and reaching out towards Vlassk with a gentle notion of daring mischief that earned him a chuckle.

“It’s true”, Vlassk said with a nudge of reassurance and deliberately leaned backwards and against Larik until his shoulders were mere inches away from his chest and his head neatly tucked underneath his chin.

“You’re the most handsome illithid I’ve ever seen~”, he cooed at him and nuzzled against the underside of his jaw; pouring gentle affection into his mind. “Strong and capable and so very talented in many different ways.”

His mind was flooded with images of vivid paintings but Vlassk also hinted at something more intimate and physical as he teasingly brushed a tentacle against Larik’s central one and made him shiver and twitch. He sighed and both heard and felt Vlassk snickering at him.

A second tentacle joined the first and softly embraced his head and pulled him a bit closer towards Vlassk as a single, simple “Perfect” was whispered into his mind and he felt him pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Day 6 - Reach

Vlassk groaned; his tentacles weakly waving through the air as he mentally reached for the bottle of water he so foolishly had left at the table instead of taking with him.

Vlassk grimaced, snapped his tentacles angrily at the general direction of the table and tried again. The bottle quivered and was lifted up the tiniest bit before it stilled and plopped back down with a soft, dull thmp sound. Groaning, Vlassk dropped his head onto the pillow and made a pitiful noise while punching the cushion of the couch beneath him.

This is all so bothersome and annoying!, he internally cursed himself and – not for the first time – wondered why he ever agreed to the idea of getting more children. Vlassk’s mood and grimace soured as he had to admit that that wasn’t quite right. He hadn’t agreed to more children but brought it up and suggested it himself; knowing full well about all the bodily and hormonal changes he’ll go through yet again, how tired and aching he would feel; how much of a drain it would be on his psionics and overall mental state and yet …

The way Larik had lit up like the starts in the night sky when the topic of kids was brought up had been all the reassurance Vlassk needed to be sure that his decision was right; that he made the right choice both with the additional kids and his partner.

His chest grew warm and the annoyance bled out of his mind as he remembered all the times Larik had smiled and held and reassured him, how he never missed a chance to tell him how proud and happy he was at his side and with their little growing family; how good and amazing he was.

“You’re simply perfect”, Larik liked to say and accompany it with a soft, gentle nuzzle which never failed to drive away any doubts that slithered their way back into Vlassk’s mind when the ache in his head and bones was getting too much under the strain of not carrying one or two kids but three.

Vlassk couldn’t help the low grumble escaping his throat at that reminder and he squished his face further into the pillow. If he’d known that this would happen, then maybe his decision would’ve been different, he mused but then immediately discarded that thought. No, knowing that beforehand wouldn’t have changed anything, he admitted to himself.

He let out a small but long sigh and the tips of his tentacles curled with a smile. That was what one got for mingling with a breeder of all people, he supposed but couldn’t bring himself to regret a single moment of it. And thinking of which …

“Larik?”, he mentally called out to him; his mind expanding and reaching for the faint feeling of another illithid mind nearby and giving it a gentle brush. “Would you mind coming over? I have a little … problem, one might say.”

The initial joy Vlassk felt from Larik upon touching his mind almost instantly turned into worry at his words and he heard him shuffle about downstairs as he said: “Of course! Did something happen?”

Vlassk couldn’t help himself and snickered as his smile and the warmth in his chest grew. “No”, he said as the door was pushed aside and a slightly breathless Larik entered the room, “I just forgot to take my water with me and would very much appreciate it if you could bring me some.”

Larik’s tentacles twitched a few more times nervously before he blinked and made the tiniest noise in the back of his throat, then looked over to where Vlassk was pointing and laughed softly.

“Are the little ones already that hard on you, my siren?”, he asked as he moved over; picking up both the bottle and the cup beside it and then proceeding to bring them over to Vlassk who eagerly and thankfully accepted them.

“Kind of”, he said as he pushed himself up and into a sitting position. He wobbled and struggled a bit more than what he would’ve liked – or admitted, on that matter – but as always, Larik was right there and offered him support and help. Both of which Vlassk gratefully took and thanked him with a gentle mental nudge.

“But I don’t mind”, he added after a moment of taking the time to gulp down some much needed water. He heard Larik coo at him before leaning in and tenderly pushing his head against his own in a soft, quiet kiss and Vlassk couldn’t stop himself from purring and leaning into it; eagerly and happily soaking up this treasured feeling of closeness.

He loved moments like this; quiet and private and soft. Nuzzling into Larik’s touch, Vlassk let his eyes fall shut to fully focus and enjoy this feeling when he suddenly winched under an unexpected pressure inside his belly.

Gasping, he snapped his eyes back open and looked down on himself; his mind filled with awe and excitement and tugging on Larik’s, who was confused under the sudden change of feelings whispering against his head and asked: “Is everything alright?”

“Yes!”, Vlassk all but blurted back as he felt that sensation again and felt his tentacles curling and snapping with growing giddiness. He felt that Larik still hadn’t caught up on what was happening but lacked the patience and coherence to explain it to him and instead opted to just take one of his hands and guide it down to rest on his stomach. He held it there for a moment, waiting and writhing with happy excitement until …

There!

Vlassk made a tiny, high pitched squeal when one of the squidlings moved again and had both parents feel it. He heard Larik’s breath stutter and felt his mind stalling; going completely blank for a moment before it lit up with a burst of bright joy.

Day 4 - Lost

Vlassk felt as if he lost a heavy weight he had been carrying on his narrow shoulders since the day he was born.

His arms were shaking and his mind blank as he stared down and into those familiar green eyes, that once had been filled with poisonous mockery and sharp detestation but now only held emptiness and silence.

Gone …

Realization slowly settled over him; a chilly, gentle drizzle of rain pouring down on his consciousness like a thousand tiny needles pricking and stabbing at it and gradually bringing back feelings and sensations and life.

Vlassk took a deliberately slow and deep breath; concentrating solely on the movements of his lungs – in and out and in and out – as he loosened his fingers and pulled his arms back; his eye never leaving the two ones staring back at him from below the waves.

Gone, he repeated like a mantra inside his head without yet fully understanding the extend of his thoughts. Qirilissk was gone.

Vlassk’s heart skipped and his breath stuttered. His tentacles twitched and curled around his neck, seeking safety and comfort yet he couldn’t turn his gaze away from those magnetizing pools of poison.

He still heard the gurgling gasps for air; felt the faint echo of a fading mind, remembered how those claws and tentacles has grasped for him and dug into his skin. How Qirilissk’s strength ebbed away under his own hands and his usually so collected and calm mind became frantic and desperate and fearful. How he fought for his life.

Vlassk flinched and stumbled backwards; away from the corpse drifting in the shallow water near the shore that once had been his master and mentor and tormentor.

Qirilissk was dead.

Vlassk swallowed thickly; his throat suddenly dry and rough and too thin to breathe properly. There had been countless times where he wished death to his former master; but he never imagined that he would feel so hollow once it actually happened nor that it would be himself who did the deed.

Vlassk’s heart was pounding fast and hard and his mind swirling and raging like a storm and thus didn’t notice the gentle whisper of Larik’s mind as he approached him on the shore until he was standing right beside him.

“Are you alright?”, he softly asked and Vlassk reluctantly nodded. He wasn’t hurt too badly but his mind was a mess of sounds and images and emotions. And all of it centered around Qirilissk. Vlassk’s head was filled with him: his cruel laughter and sneers; the sharp, disapproving stares he so often got in the past; the amusing curl of his tentacles, how his claws used to ghost over his skin and made him shudder and whine, his amused snickers, how his voice could go from soft and gentle to harsh and cold within the blink of an eye, how gleeful he had been when stabbing and ruining Vlassk’s right eye, the sting of his- …

“Hey”, he heard Larik say and felt him reaching into his mind; cupping and holding his thoughts and stopping them from spiraling further out of control and keeping him from getting lost in memories of his past life, “it’s fine. It’s over. He’s gone. You’re truly and completely free now.”

Vlassk felt as if he had been kicked. His chest constricted and all air left him and for a moment everything stopped as Larik’s words settled in. Qirilissk was gone. He was free. He was safe. He and his squidlings and everyone he cared about were no longer overshadowed by the looming danger of Qirilissk and his stubborn determination to get his tentacles back on Vlassk; to bring him home and subdue him once again into a submissive toy.

A strangled sob escaped Vlassk’s throat. Safe, he repeated mentally and felt his knees and legs growing weak and unsteady. He swayed but Larik was there, readily reaching out for him and wrapping his arms and tentacles around his shoulders for support and to keep him upright. And Vlassk latched right onto him; clinging to his chest and holding onto him as if his life depended on it as he buried his face against his shoulder and cried without restrain. He heard himself sobbing and making ugly croaks and wet clicks but was beyond caring. His emotions were too raw and demanding to be kept at bay for any longer; and he knew that Larik wouldn’t judge nor ridicule him for them. Instead, he just gently nuzzled the top of his head and hummed a soothing tune as he rubbed circles over his quivering back and gave Vlassk all the time he needed to express and purge his turbulent emotions.

When Vlassk eventually calmed down, his throat was hoarse and raw; his mind exhausted and his eyes burning but dry.

His grip on Larik had loosened somewhat and his head slipped down onto his chest; where he contently and intensely listened to his heartbeat and used its steady rhythm to ground himself. Larik had held him the whole time; not once making an attempt to get out of his embrace or to hurry things up and Vlassk appreciated it greatly.

He gently nuzzled into his chest and said: “Thank you.”

Larik responded with a soft trill and an even softer nudge to the top of his head; his chin brushing over his frills. “Of course”, he answered calmly and then asked once more: “How are you, my beloved siren?”

Warmth spread through Vlassk’s chest and traveled down his tentacles at the usage of this unique nickname Larik bestowed upon him. He felt the tips of his tentacles tingling and curling with a happy smile as he nuzzled into him. “Better”, he said truthfully; both his mind and heart feeling less heavy and chaotic than before. “Thanks to you my jolly sailor.”

Vlassk felt Larik’s chest rumbling with a soft chuckle at the nickname he himself used for him and which was born from of a joke he had made so long in the past it almost seemed like a whole other life now. So much had changed since then. And most of it was for the better.

They stayed huddled together; with their arms and tentacles wrapped around one another and lazily caressing each other and in comfortable silence as their minds mingled and soothed each other for a while, until …

“Remind me to never give you a reason to be mad at me”, Larik said with the barest hint of humor winding through his words and thoughts. “That was … scary to watch.”

Vlassk froze and his mind stilled. “You- you saw …?”, he all but blurted out, his head snapping up sharply to look up at Larik with wide eyes and nervously snapping tentacles.

Larik nodded and gently pushed his head against Vlassk’s. “I did”, he said with a low, calming hum and Vlassk felt embarrassment and guilt bubbling up in his chest and tightening around his throat.

“I- … I didn’t mean to but he - … he threatened to take the kids and- … and- …”, he tried to explain but his mind was assaulted with memories which tried to drag him down into the darkness once more. His voice broke and his breath stumbled over a half formed sob.

Larik gently caressed his head; moving his hand over the top of it, over his frills and down his neck. “It’s fine”, he said once more and Vlassk felt new tears gathering in his eyes. “I understand. You don’t need to explain anything to me. I know who he was and what he did to you and would have done if he hadn’t been stopped.”

Vlassk’s breath quivered when Larik leaned down and gently pressed their heads together in a kiss. “I know”, he repeated and Vlassk couldn’t help himself and tightened his hold on him. “You are so very brave and I am unspeakably proud of you, my siren.”

Day 3 - Sunrise

Vlassk and Larik were still tightly tangled into each others arms when the sun rose the next morning.

Their tentacles were curling and lazily stroking each other as their minds slowly but steadily returned to full consciousness. The first thing Vlassk noticed was the soft brush of content happiness seeping from Larik’s mind into his own and prompting his tentacles to curl up with a smile.

Humming quietly, he shuffled closer and nuzzled his face against Larik’s chest; soaking up all his warmth and the tender feeling of closeness. Of belonging.

He remembered their night together fondly. How they had held each other as they made love under the stars, their bodies and minds connected as a whole as they moved with the rhythm of the waves and whispered sweet nothings at each other. The way they had kissed and gasped and thought together. What a perfect fit they had been, as if precisely made for each other. How badly Vlassk had wanted to tell Larik that he loved him, and yet …

… yet he had pushed that particular thought down and locked it far, far away. For no matter how much Larik meant to him and how painful it was to even entertain the idea of a future without him, he deserved so much better than him.

He deserved someone that wasn’t broken and shattered and packing too many issues to count or even remember. Larik deserved someone that wouldn’t tumble down a panic attack when touched the wrong way or a wrong word was said; who wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night and weep uncontrollably and reach for the hairpin hidden beneath his pillow to bury into his skin to make the memories and pain go away.

He deserved someone normal and fine and whole. Someone, that wasn’t Vlassk.

A deep, heavy ache settled over Vlassk’s mind and heart at that thought and made his eyes burn and sting, yet he didn’t allow the forming tears to spill. He breathed; slow and shaky and forced those feelings into the depths of his heart alongside those three words he was dying to say and simultaneously scared to do so. Those words were dangerous and held great power; and once said he wouldn’t be able to take them back. Wouldn’t be able to contain them.

Vlassk’s vision blurred and his breath quivered but he stubbornly refused himself to express his rising emotions.Not here, he told his heart and turned to glance at Larik’s sleeping, relaxed face; his smile hesitantly returning. Not now.

He listened to his breathing as he watched him, memorizing each and every beloved detail about his face and felt melancholy wrapping around his mind like a warm, rough blanket; trying to soothe but only making things worse.

He remembered the previous night and how perfect everything had been. If only that night wouldn’t have ended. If only the sun wouldn’t be rising and destroying this pretty little lie of a happy, careless life at Larik’s side. But Vlassk had made a promise to himself the previous day when Mar’reen had taken the kids home to give the both of them some privacy; when their hands had brushed and their eyes met and their desire rose.

Only this once, Vlassk had told himself as he surrendered to both Larik and his own feelings. Only for today I will allow myself to give in to the fantasy of love.

And now, it was time to adhere to this promise, no matter how painful or hard it was. He simply couldn’t permit Larik to be bound to his pathetic self; to his many problems and issues and shortcomings. To his defects and failures.

No, he reassured himself with a sharp pull inside his chest, this is for the best. Larik deserves better than this. Better than me. He deserves a happiness without burden.

Untangling an arm, Vlassk gave Larik’s face a gentle caress and felt another stab at his heart when he leaned into the touch and purred approvingly before slowly blinking his eyes open and greeting him with a sleepy smile.

“Good morning, my siren”, he said and nuzzled into the hand cupping his cheek and nearly broke the control over his emotions when he added: “I had a beautiful dream last night.”

Day 2 - Rain

The rain caught them off-guard.

Vlassk and Larik were out on another art supply errand when the sky darkened and eventually spilled.

It was still a bit new for Vlassk to not have the squidlings around him all the time and he had a bad time adjusting to it, but Mar’reen insisted they don’t get too depended on each other and spend some time apart now and then.

And yet, Vlassk couldn’t help it and miss the familiar touch of their minds on his own; how their emotions and thoughts whispered through his head, how their small, developing and growing consciousnesses mingled and touched his own for support and help and left him tingly and happy. And not having that feeling of soft, warm closeness made Vlassk’s heart ache, his mind bristle and his tentacles twitch.

He needed a distraction, and Larik proved to be the most helping tentacle in that regard. He was still very busy with the paintings Ragzlin had demanded of him and could always use some help with one thing or another. And Vlassk was desperate for his aching mind to latch and concentrate on something other than the lonely, gaping space inside his head.

So, when Larik had proposed to visit the market to get a few new brushes and paint, Vlassk had all too eagerly agreed, and now here they were. Shivering and huddling close to each other under the roof of a pavilion in the garden on their way back to the palace; their hands and tentacles full with art supplies and their clothes soaked.

Vlassk grimaced and shook his head to get rid of the water clinging to it while he reached for one of his voluminous sleeves and used it as a towel for his tentacles. It wasn’t that he was against a bit of water on his skin – and, most of the time even welcomed it due to the special condition of his mucous that had it drying out faster than that of the average illithid – but getting drenched and having his clothes sticking to his body and trying to suffocate him wasn’t exactly pleasant.

He felt a trickle of endeared amusement and heard a faint chuckle that instantly had his frills and tentacles bristling. Vlassk lifted his head and shot Larik – who was visibly grinning down at him – a nasty glare.

“I didn’t know a bit of rain bothered you this much”, he said and Vlassk made a disapproving growl in the back of his throat. “I don’t”, he bit back and flicked his tentacles to get rid of the last few droplets still stubbornly clinging to them. “But I don’t appreciate the feeling of layers upon layers of fabric sticking to my body and making it hard to move and breathe. Not that you would understand that, of course-”, he made a vague gesture towards the qun skirt and open ru jacket that proudly – and obscenely – showed off Larik’s well defined chest muscles, “- with that minimalistic way you dress yourself with.”

Vlassk felt a brush of surprised confusion from Larik’s mind before seeing him raise his eye ridges. “Do you have a problem with how I dress?”, he asked; calmly and only with the barest hint of a smirk hiding in the corners of his eyes.

Vlassk’s tentacles twitched and heat seeped into his face. “No!”, he instantly – and way too quickly – denied. He winced at himself and steered his eyes away from Larik. “It’s just … it distracts people.”

“People”, Larik echoed; his amusement rising. “Care to tell which people exactly?”

Vlassk flinched under the obvious hint in his tone and thoughts behind that question and gave him another glare. Straightening his shoulders and with his head held high and proud, he defiantly said: “The servants of the palace.”

Larik sputtered and made a noise that was very close to a choked up laughter. “The servants of the-? Why would they be bothered by how I dress? And how do you even know that?”

Vlassk crossed his arms and two of his tentacles. “I heard them thinking about it”, he said with a light poke of one of his unoccupied limbs to the side of his head and grinned. “There is so much an illithid gets to hear inside those high walls. It’s most entertaining, I assure you. And so very effective in fighting off boredom.”

Larik hummed, almost sounding thoughtful if not for that quiet whisper of mischief clinging to his mind as he shuffled closer and leaned into Vlassk’s personal space.

Vlassk tensed, his heart skipping and stumbling as he felt Larik’s breath tickling over his frills. “There’s a lot to see within the palace as well”, he said with that rich, deep voice of his that never failed to send a pleasant shiver down Vlassk’s spine. “If one knows where to look.”

Vlassk shuddered at that; his tentacles curling tightly into each other and his skin tensing over his muscles. He felt how close Larik was, his face merely a few inches away from his own and his amber eyes seemingly burning through his skull and gazing right into his mind.

Vlassk unconsciously held his breath and felt his knees melting at an alarming rate.

“The lavish gardens or the grand library, for example. Or that exquisitely handsome guy living there with his two adorable kids”, Larik continued and Vlassk’s mind toppled over itself. He sputtered and blushed and scrambled to come up with an argument against this frivolous flattery but wasn’t able to form a single coherent thought.

“That one guy with this soft, beautiful skin colored like the sea and those cute frills. With the most expressive face I have ever seen and prettily mismatched eyes”, he continued to speak; each new word worsening the pale blush on Vlassk’s face and making his heart and mind jump and twist. “The same guy that keeps sneaking glances at my bare chest when he thinks I’m not looking and then complains about it.”

Vlassk made a sound. High and strangled and definitely not a yelp. “I never-”, he started to protest, his tentacles snapping and quivering angrily while his face was set ablaze with embarrassment. But he didn’t get to finish his sentence, for Larik leaned in and softly pressed his forehead against Vlassk’s and effectively silenced him.

Vlassk blinked; his tentacles calming and limply falling against his chest as his mind stalled and processed what just happened. Oh, he thought with a soft, warm feeling blooming in his chest and taking over his mind. That was a kiss. Larik had kissed him. But why …

Day 5 - Darkness

Everything was calm and comfortable and shrouded in a cold, gentle darkness.

Vlassk’s mind was quiet and unbothered but stirred when he felt a long, slender claw carefully moving down his back; tracing one of the dark markings near his spine from his shoulder blades to his hips and then …

He twitched ever so slightly. “Stop that”, he giggled and squirmed as clever fingers teasingly brushed over his tails but he made no attempt to escape them, “I’m ticklish.”

“Oh, I know my little slug”, Vlassk heard a familiar voice chuckling and froze; dread rising and gripping on his mind and heart. No!, he thought and snapped his eyes open; fear and denial gathering in his chest and his throat tightened and constricted. No, this can’t be! He can’t be here. He’s- …

Qirilissk laughed. Sharp and cruel and with a dark promise laced into every single noise of it. “He can’t be here because he’s dead”, he voiced out Vlassk’s thoughts and his fingers dug into the soft, tender skin at the small of his back just above his tails; making Vlassk wince and gasp in pain.

Qirilissk laughed again. “Oh you silly little slug”, he cooed with poisonous sweetness as something cold snapped around Vlassk’s neck, “you should know better. I am never going to leave you. Nothing can part us, not even death.”

There was a tug, which had Vlassk choking and gasping as his neck was twisted at a most hurtful angle and pulled around; making his single red eye meet a pair of bright, green ones that smirked down at him with ill intent.

Qirilissk’s tentacles curled with a smile and the corners of his eyes narrowed and sharpened while he moved his hand from his back to his chin; tracing a claw along Vlassk’s jawline and then tilting it up even further; putting some additional strain on his already aching neck. “I will forever be a part of you, my beloved little pet”, he purred and flexed his wrist; making his claws tear and dig into Vlassk’s skin, drawing pale, silvery blood and a soft cry of pain out of him.

“No!”, Vlassk defiantly shot back at him and began to struggle; to wriggle and push against Qirilissk’s hold in an attempt to break free and get away. “You’re not a part of me! You never were and never will be! You tried to taint and corrupt me but never succeeded. You failed!”

Qirilissk hissed disapprovingly and tightened his hand around Vlassk’s face; burrowing his claws deeper into his skin and piercing flesh and muscles alike. “It seems you need a few more lessons on how to properly behave and address you master, slug”, he growled out but instead of cowering, Vlassk only laughed at him; raw and rough but sure of himself.

“Try as you may, but you’ll never break me”, he bit back with equal poison in his voice as he saw in Qirilissk’s gaze.

Qirilissk’s eyes flicked to the side and towards Vlassk’s left, blinded eye for a brief, lingering moment before his tentacles curled some more and his smile turned into a smirk. “But I already did break you, didn’t I?”

Vlassk almost laughed again. “You damaged me”, he corrected him with cold detestation and brought up his hands to push and punch against his chest, but soon enough had them gripped and restrained by a pair of slippery tentacles, “but every wound eventually heals and nothing you ever did was permanent.”

Vlassk saw Qirilissk's eyes narrowing down dangerously and felt his fingers stabbing him deeply, yet he didn’t stop. Never again would he bow and flinch away from Qirilissk’s hollow cruelty. Never again would he give up on fighting him.

“All of your efforts and experiments will fade from the colony’s archive, disappearing into nothingness. You will be forgotten and nobody will remember your name or that you even were born in the first place because all you ever did was sow fear and pain. And nothing of that ever lasts. Your existence was a complete failure!”

Qirilissk’s eyes hardened and his tentacles parted and exposed his teeth in a threatening sneer. He growled deeply and lowly but Vlassk refused to back down. Never again.

Vlassk growled right back. “You are an utter waste of time and brainwaves”, he declared; reached back with one of his tentacles, tensed it and then lunged at Qirilissk. His limb made contact; slapped him hard across the cool, damp cheek and pulled out a surprised “Ow!” out of him that had Vlassk’s mind stalling and the nightmare disappear like matutinal fog.

He blinked his eyes open and into focus and found himself staring at a very sleepy and grumpy Larik rubbing his cheek and giving him a questioning look. Vlassk tensed and nervously knotted two tentacles in front of his mouth. Oh no.

“I am so sorry, Larik”, he said and instantly shuffled closer and carefully pried Larik’s hand off of his cheek to inspect the spot he accidentally punched, “I didn’t mean to. I was dreaming and having a nightmare and- … I’m sorry. Truly. Did I hurt you?”

He gently smoothed a tentacle over the slightly bruised cheek and felt a wave of sympathy and regret rising in his mind and didn't try to mask or hide his concern. He gave Larik’s other cheek an apologetic nuzzle and cuddled closely to his chest; a soft purr rumbling out of his lungs and onto Larik’s skin.

“It’s fine”, Vlassk heard Larik not say but chuckle and felt himself getting pulled closer; his face almost getting squished against his broad, strong chest and let out a small yelp, “I understand.”

He found his frills nuzzled and the top of his head softly kissed and started to melt into the embrace; a small smile curling up the tips of his tentacles and giving his mind a warm, pleasant buzz.

“And besides”, Larik continued, a playful edge sneaking into his voice and mind as he teasingly nudged him, “you need to try harder than that to hurt me, my sweet siren.”

Vlassk blinked; then snickered, flexed his tentacle and …