#squack squack

I wonder sometimes…like do people know? Do they know that there’s a gryphon in their midst? I used to be strong and powerful, feared and respected by those who crossed me, but now I'm 5'5" and a hundred pounds soaking wet and not intimidating in the least, and honestly forgettable. People in this life aren't afraid of me. But I wonder, if I spread my invisible wings, would they subconsciously step around them or get a strange feeling if they walked through them? I also wonder if I'm missing people like me. People who have the souls of dragons and wolves and great warriors of time past. Are we missing each other like ships passing in the night- so close and yet totally unaware of the others presence in what they are? I think about this a lot.

I watched a video of a baby featherless bird (as u do) and I had a thought cross my mind that was so fast idk if it was wishful thinking or an actual memory, but I might have had chicks? Like as a gryphon. Now now lol, but this is!! Exciting!!! I still don’t know what my gender was but also…I don’t think gryphons have a solid idea of what gender is so…….. Who knows honestly. I have very few memories, and what memories I have are impressions that are so faint I worry I’m just making them up. I am very very dubious of past life memories so I don’t want to rely too much on them even if I did have more vibrant ones. I mean. I know I was about the size of a pony full grown and that I think I was light brown/orange/gold/copper/u feel. I guarded shit but that’s what gryphons do and I don’t remember what I guarded. I think I had an owner. And that’s about it that’s all I got. I did not do combat much, as in like I was not a knight’s mount or whatever the equivalent is. My first loyalty was to whatever I was guarding and not my mate or chicks or anything if I had those. I hunted deer sized things from the air and smaller things on the ground because I was not designed for hunting on the ground that well. I could do it but it was not ideal. I was designed for the air, to come down on my prey with my full weight and speed and slam it into the ground alright my wings did most of the work. Ugh. On one hand I want to know my gryphon life, on the other hand I’m constantly doubting my kin identity anyway, so this is fun.

Why are wings such a bitch Like. It’s really weird because my wings don’t work on a bipedal creature??? That’s just. Not how they’re meant to stay. And my wings are huge because apparently they don’t wanna shrink down to fit a human so they’re still these huge gryphon wings and it’s such a pain in the ass. I did buy this cool shawl thing that covers my shoulders like the tops of my wings would and is all flowy and I love it. It’s not orange or brown though it’s grey and black which are also some of my favorite colors but orange and brown would have been cooler probably. I could probably commission my housemate to make me an orange one TBH they’re super into fiber arts. Defiantly recommend flowy shawl things for people missing their wings. Too bad I have no idea what the thing I have is called. A fun fact about me is that orange is actually my least favorite color and yet I desire orange things to remind me of my feathers as a gryphon.

I’ve been trying to focus a little bit on figuring out what I looked like and how big I was or if I’m even gryphonkin because what if I fucked up and I’m actually some kind of dragon? But idk. When I watched the Warcraft movie there was a lot of “oh that’s me” feelings even though I’m really sure that i was never in any kind of heavy combat like that. So I’m still pretty sure on that, but like. What did I do? I guarded shit I think, but what did I guard? What did I protect? I think I was domesticated so who were my people? Were they nice? Was it one person or a family? I’m just very frustrated. Idk how to answer these questions. I see all these fictionkin with memories and I can’t help but feel envious even though I’m always heavily doubtful of past life memories. Like shit man, I don’t remember what I did last week, how am I supposed to remember what I did a lifetime or more ago?? Also there’s the “depression or voidkin or both” question, which idk how to handle at all. So there’s that. @ voidkin hmu how do u know ur voidkin bc I’m lost??

When ur back hurts and u don’t know if it’s actual back problems or ur wings are being funky again