#spring bean

Name: Spring Bean

Debut: Plants vs. Zombies 2

People just don't call their tall and skinny friends "String Bean" anymore, like they used to. I have never witnessed that happen, but I think they used to. Similarly, people just don't call their green and coiled friends "Spring Bean" yet, like they're going to. We all have that friend!

I never thought much about Spring Bean. Then recently, I decided to think about Spring Bean. Hmm... heh. Yeah. Spring Bean is funny! I like this bean. And Spring Bean is cute! Chili Bean is funny because it farts, Sun Bean is funny because its face is weird, and Laser Bean is not funny OR cute and I really dislike looking at it, especially its teeth and gums. I like to look at Spring Bean! Nothing wrong with this bean.

Spring Bean usually looks like he has no idea what's going on, but then once in a while he gets a bit Cheeky! If a zombie is near, he will flatten all funny-like, and then SPROING them away. This is very useful in some levels of Pirate Seas, where the pesky Swashbuckler Zombies can be launched into the ocean as quickly as they enter the playing field! An insta-kill plant, specializing in a particularly annoying zombie that skips over most of the lawn? Sounds quite useful indeed! And it's REUSABLE? I love recycling! What's the catch?

Well, not to sound like a meanie beanie, but Spring Bean is not actually very good whatsoever most of the time. I gassed him up back there- any self-respecting bean needs a fart joke- but Spring Bean kind of sucks! If he was a quirky thematic level element in a vegetable-based platformer, he would be perfect. But alas!

Everything I have said about Spring Bean is true! He is the perfect counter for Swashbuckler Zombies, instantly kills them, and can perform his ability multiple times. He can even launch regular zombies into nearby water! But the thing is, that's basically it. Spring Bean has One use in One world, and not even the entirety of that world. When Imp Cannons get introduced shortly after, Spring Bean is quickly overwhelmed, only able to launch one zombie at a time. After each launch, the darn guy goes to sleep, and is easily eaten by any other zombies that appear in the meantime! I like to Take A Break too, but if some bad guys were trying to eat my flesh, I don't think I would be able to feel very restful! To be honest!

In this game about plants fighting zombies, Spring Bean is not a plant that is good at fighting zombies, but here I am writing a post about him, so it should come as no surprise that I like Spring Bean. He does what he does. He does it well Sometimes. I would like it if he was more useful overall, of course- I can use my friend Kernel-pult as a primary attacker in any level I please- but a sort of pathetic little thing like this is so endearing to me! Some people on the internet get attached to pathetic middle-aged men, I get attached to a pathetic Bean. This is genuinely really cool of me!

I am not just going to provide my own opinion on this post, though. That would be biased. Let's hear the thoughts of someone who knows Spring Bean very closely... his older brother, Sun Bean! Sun Bean dearly loves his bean brothers, even though the almanac indicates that he thinks Spring Bean is "just plain lazy" and finds him "exasperating". I think that's fair. I've not once seen any other bean snooze, after all!