#splinching

Abraxas (to Harry & Theodore): Please tell me you both have a plan…I don’t care if it’s a lie.

Harry & Theodore: We have a plan—

Harry: Well, it’s more like three-tenths of a plan.

Tom: I’ll take it.

Harry: Good, there’s just a quick question: How attached are all of you to your limbs?

Cygnus & Walburga (alarmed): What?

Theodore: Currently very fucking attached, Harry. I swear to Hecate if this plan involves loosing an arm, I’m not fucking—

Harry: No. It’s just a possibility, a very high statistically possibility. Ted we’re dealing with anti-apparition wards and we have two options: first we can either dismantle the wards ourselves, but that would require finding the anchor point in this madness and take bloody forever; or we can—

Theodore: Make a back door.

Harry: Ehh, more of a locked window. But with enough concentrated force we could break the glass.

Tom: That would splinch us.

Harry: Probably. Hence the limbs question.

Euphemia: Is there a way to do this without loosing a limb?

Harry: …I mean…I suppose the force isn’t required to be outwards, it could be inwards…

Theodore: The aurors.

Harry: There’s an idea, although that would require us to put faith that the Ministry will be both competent and punctual.

Theodore: So either loose an arm or trust the Ministry, is what you’re saying.

Harry: Essentially.

Theodore: Great plan. I hate it.

Now, these guys are ruthless, know the terrain like the back of their hand, and aren’t hopped up on some bootleg edition of liquid luck. Oh, did I mention some carry staves? The growers come out here to plant Alihotsy and the poachers to hunt a protected species of basilisk. The weird thing is they’ve been disappearing in larger numbers lately, and when they turn up, well… I don’t thinking it’s splinching, Sir. (2/3)

I have a friend who's worked mountain rescue for 15 years and told me about a basilisk poacher whose body was discovered inside the trunk of a giant sequoia tree, with all the organs scooped out of the body cavity, with no visible cuts and no blood, and the intestines draped across the upper branches like No-Maj Christmas lights. Weirder still, the man's clothes were found in a cave on the other side of the park. MACUSA blamed it on the Sasquatch, but what Sasquatch wears clothes? – SAR (3/3)

Ha, turning tents invisible. Amusing...but, hmmm... I did research on that basilisk species, oh, decades ago, now. I managed to interview one. Very distrustful fellow, which makes sense, given the poachers. Which brings us back to your organ-less friend.

What Sasquatch wears clothes, indeed.

N - “Oh...”

E - “...well...it makes sense that she’d get sick...she has internal organs, right? They’ll be moving around like crazy...”

...we totally needed that image, thank you.

E - “In all honesty, humans and human-like creatures shouldn’t teleport, especially without supervision...it’s too quick for the skin cells to regenerate...”

Oh...so, like...apparating in Harry Potter was right, in a way? Splinching?

A wise course of action.

but what about internal Splinching?

You Apparate and splinch your liver or something

Or you Apparate and Splinch part of your brain and suddenly- you can’t remember a thing. Suddenly, you can’t do magic anymore. Suddenly, you can’t speak. Or can’t hear.

Because you’ve Internally Splinched yourself.