#splicer rambles

For the first time for me, I attended pride with my aroallo flag. And I didn't expect to attend having a day free from doubt, rude assumptions or misguided "oh but-" words. In fact I had genuine curiosity that ended in new knowledge and respect for me.

But most of all, I was recognised by one person for my flag. An aroace youth, literally shaking in excitement at the sight of another aro. We exchanged hugs some many times I lost count and I almost didn't wanna let go, because of how beautiful that aro joy was for us both.And in that moment, I held open this bag of aro joy keyrings I've made to gift to other aros I cross paths with, and that's where I realised that maybe I needed that hug just as much as they did. That bag is now half empty, and my heart half full.

Aroallos belong too at pride, I can attest to this wholeheartedly. And in-person aro community means more than just relatability; It's a lifeline almost. It's hope.

I'm glad that I did take my aroallo flag in the end, even if I were the only with it, because the solo presence is nothing compared to aro joy and radiance. Aro joy really exists.

All for us in all our shapes and experiences are deserving of aro joy and being allowed to be unapologetic, and further without belittlement and shame. We are human, we are whole and we are radiant!

Do I really have to explain why that's not as inclusive a move as you'd think it is?

If someone addressed me, a aro, as "under the aroace spectrum", I would be questioning their allyship even if they themselves are aspec because no where in that's sentence did I say I'm also ace.

Using that wording instead of aspec is as much dismissive and hurtful to non-ace aros as it does when people shove our aromanticism under asexuality without thinking on why it's not helpful or disrespectful.

I feel so strongly on demanding that aroness and aceness is seen as separate, on demanding proper recognition and respect for aroallos and non-SAM aros, on demanding that my aroness is seen as enough on its own because calling me ace or aroace is erasure on my identity; It pushes the wrong narrative and box onto my experiences. It promotes misunderstandings on not just aromanticism but also asexuality. It treats my label something not worthy of taking up space in the aro community, in the aspec community, in the queer community.

Aromanticism is not an ace spectrum thing. Aromanticism is not interchangeable with asexuality. Aromanticism isn't just valid when it's aroace.

Behold fellow aroallos; my aroallo lanyard and badges from trans pride last week!