#spiraling again

Do I sing too much

Do I text too much

Am I here too much

Is my presence too much

Would anyone care

if I sunk back into my corner and drowned out the sounds

Would anyone care

anfortas and kaeya's bloodline is more closely related to angels than other khaenri'ahns; hence anfortas and kaeya being a swan and a peacock while the rest of khaenri'ah is a snake-pit.

anfortas/pirate grandpa had a kid with an angel/jinni and kaeya is descended from that branch of the alberich clan.

anfortas/pirate grandpa met nicole and she decided to help him for whatever reason (guilt over khaenri'ah/kinship/gratitude etc)

my previous post regarding this (PLS READ.) was less serious as it was before the starfish update. so now that it's been released, im being frl with this post when i say I feel like the 6th LI already in the game 💯💯 my nonsensical speculations kinda become stronger w this update too ngl 😎 🤙

in my last post dedicated to the 6th LI, i speculated that he could somehow be related or inspired off the egyptian sun god Ra. yes. i have now returned with even stronger reasons WHY it just makes perfect sense for this to be the case. i cba to take screenshots at the moment so can u pls skip to 1:04 of this song?

pause, and take a close look at the surroundings of those two mysterious people (likely MC with the 6th LI). EVERYTHING can be explained using ancient egyptian mythology. > an isolated mountain peak.

this could potentially be benben, which is the name for 'the sacred primeval mound that rose from the waters of nun.' it is the first piece of land, where the creator god atum (often depicted as an earlier version of the sun god ra) began creating the world, humanity, etc.

> an endless expanse of completely still water.

this could potentially be the waters of nun, which is the name for 'the primordial, inert, and chaotic watery abyss that existed before creation.' it is described as infinite, dark, and completely motionless. interestingly, creation myths from other cultures also feature a 'chaotic body of water' that birthed the world. however, the others are described as stormy and tempestuous rather than completely still. as you can see in the video, the body of water is so motionless that you would not even notice it, had it not been for the reflections.

> massive ass ball of sun that is either rising or setting or both.

i talked about this in my previous post because it was the most obvious. the sun rising/setting/whatever symbolizes the sun god's journey from this world to the underworld.

> camera turns upside down and night falls.

this could represent duat (the egyptian underworld).

i mean come ONNN the scene very obviously derives elements from the ancient egyptian creation myth??? ok now i'm going to talk about why i think the 6th LI already debuted and how it just makes the "sun god ra" theories even stronger.

you guys are not gonna like this... but hear me out.. hear me out guys. our 6th LI could be uhm,,.. STANLEY. HEAR ME OU

LISTEN, yes, the starfish update reveals that he is old and lowkey dying. but look, his new voice actor has potential okay.. and so does the Fountain of Atei, a project he literally started or something (from what i remember, i could be wrong, but he plays a crucial role anyway so).

the Fountain of Atei is basically a project dedicated to achieving immortality, eternal youth, or something. you know the usual EVER thing. this could be a cliche trope, but what if Stanley uses it to save himself and it works? like he gets a GLOW UP. and returns to his prime? kind of like the sun god ra!! ancient egyptians divided the day into 3 parts depending on the sun: Khepri (dawn, representing rebirth and new beginnings), Ra (midday, grandest, most powerful), and Atum (sunset, weakest). these were the three forms of Ra according to egyptians. but yk what the cool part is? Atum was literally depicted as an OLD MAN by ancient egyptians. hence why Atum was considered weakest. considering this, what if "stanley" is in his Atum form at the moment? what if stanley uses the Fountain of Atei to return to his Ra form or something?? he will be Young & Beautiful again,, LIKE #YASSSSS THIS IS TOTALLY IT!!!!

rereading thhis i feel kinda silly because idkk.... i could just be projecting :/ or something. so here is an alternative speculation that still involves the sun god ra!! in ancient egyptian mythology, shu (male) and tefnut (female) are the first gods created by atum on the benben. shu represents air, separating the earth and heavens. tefnut represents moisture, essential for water and fertility. they're the first divine couple in egyptian mythology, and their union literally represents life. so, the "two mysterious people" in the video linked above COULD be shu and tefnut (aka the 6th LI and MC), standing under the watchful gaze of Atum (the setting sun). you might argue that it lowkey mirrors caleb and MC's adam and eve trope ("first couple") and yeah, maybe, but shu and tefnut are divine (not mortal) and there is no story of them being cast away or banished from heaven for disobedience. (actually i take this back.. ignore whatever i said prior to and after this interjection,, about them being shu and tefnut,, because CALEBMC) anyway, if the 6th LI is actually shu, i think it'd be pretty cool if his name was just "Aether," which means 'upper pure air' and kinda just fits with the love and deepspace universe, given the importance of the 'aether core.' if stanley or potentially "Atum" is not the 6th LI, he could be the 6th LI's, potentially "Aether/Shu's" father? moreover, the cosmic eye that keeps following MC around (the one in the heavens, not related to sylus as some argue), reminds me of when i read about shu and tefnut going missing. a worried Atum took out one eye of his (also known as the eye of Ra), and sent it to search for them. maybe that eye follows the 6th LI around too? also, stanley was apparently in search of 'the child who ran away' aka MC (i think?), which kind of parallels Atum's search for shu and tefnut. yeah all of this is just pure speculation honestly. don't take it too seriously, because it's possible that the 6th LI is nothing like this. it's also possible he is nothing at all lmao, but it's okay to dream a little. what do you guys think!!!! X3 let me know ok,, do you guys think stanley is the 6th LI? does him potentially being "Atum-Ra" make sense? if not, does the 6th LI being "Shu" and MC being "Tefnut" make sense? does stanley being the father figure of "Shu" make sense? plz lmk.. i need opinions.

AND NO. im sorry but the Nest Guy aka Quiet Man aka Mr Sutherland cannot be the 6th LI guys....he got his ass beat by rafayel and MC <///3 but he is affiliated with stanley!!! so he could be stanley's wingman ^-^ also stanley could be an alias. i hope. i lowkey don't fw this name..🤢🤢

i'm gonna end it here.....idk what more to say. wait i have one idea☝️.. if the 6th LI is actually the sun god Ra or something, could his assigned flower be the Egyptian Blue Lotus? (actually a lily!!)

OMG IT'S BLUE AND YELLOW LIKE TH MISSING STELLACTARUM PAIR 😭😭💯💯also it is a sacred flower that LITERALLY represents eternal life, immortality, rebirth, creation, the SUN GOD RA, etc.. also it just makes sense because rafayel, being his foil, has the "flame lily" whereas the 6th LI would have a water plant. fire & water hello... ok im tired....ive long abandoned my informative tone.. it's only rambling atp.. thank you so much for reading!! :D

I have so many apologies I have to make. So much bad to say sorry for. The friends I hurt and the people I tried to be friends with- the exes I’ve harmed simply because I wasn’t mentally present or strong enough for an actual relationship…

None of them deserved that.

None of them deserved to be treated that way.

And I know some of them are still out there. Like Kay (I wonder if they still use that name?) or Marcy (maybe she’s happier now), or the entire fandoms I’ve ruined for certain people… I know they’re still out there, moving on and growing.

And if they’re reading this, well…I hope they know that I really am sorry. Not just for what I’ve done back then, but for everything after. I’m sorry that my actions hurt you, that *I* hurt you. You don’t have to forgive me. You don’t even have to acknowledge I exist still. I’m sorry.

I did love them, in my own way. I just…didn’t show it well enough. I wasn’t a good friend, hell I could’ve been considered abusive at times. And I’m sorry for that. You don’t owe me a chance to prove I’ve changed, but *I* owe *you* apologies.

Time has passed since then.

I’m 19 now.

I started T.

I got on the right medications.

I like to think I’ve gotten better. That I’m not the same person I was then. That maybe I’m not drowning helplessly in an ocean of problems I can’t even begin to swim out of. That perhaps, just this once, I’ve actually gotten better.

But it’s not up to me if those people forgive me. Not up to me if they even think of me.

I just hope they all know I’m sorry.

That I’ve been sorry.