#spilledthoughs

Why can’t I feel it,

this love surrounding me?

All my friends and family,

so loving and caring.

Now tell me,

what’s the matter with me?

.

Why can’t I see it,

the beauty in me?

My overwhelming spirit,

my fresh and bright light.

If others can,

tell me why can’t I?

.

Why can’t I sense it,

this aura of mine?

It’s supposed to be kind,

cheerful and smart.

Why can’t I perceive it,

if everyone else can?

.

Now tell me,

what’s the matter with me?

Maybe I’m already gone,

went somewhere far from here,

left behind my senses,

without any warning and

already so soon.

.

Am I just a living dead,

a hollow shell within my head?

What I once was,

still wandering here on planet Earth?

I don’t know and

neither do I care.

.

I only want back,

what I before had.

I want to feel comfort,

in an embrace.

I want to sense heat,

in every kiss.

.

I want to perceive this world

that surrounds me,

vividly and genuinely,

in all its colors and shapes.

.

Now tell me,

if I’m not dead yet,

what is it then,

the matter with me?

Today I failed; I monumentally failed. But that’s okay, that’s all right, because I’m human.

I gave my best and it wasn’t enough. But that’s okay, that’s all right.

I tried, I gave my best and that’s okay, Monumentally okay.