written for @deadpoolmicrofics
prompt: nov 1st - insanity. 577 words; teen; spideypool
He can feel the hot kisses falling across his face, the press of eager hands against his abs, tugging at his suit. Any other person would be sure that this is real, because it really seems real. Except Wade’s experienced a lot of things that seemed real only to later find out that they never were, and he’s fantasized about this moment so many times, it really seems like more of a 70/30 chance that he’s just gone so far down the creepy pathetic loser rabbit hole that his fantasies have turned 4D. His fantasies that are moaning in his ear and gripping at his shoulder and—no, for sure, this is just a fantasy.
Because it would be insanity if Spider-Man were grinding in his lap right now.
“Wade,” the best fantasy on the fucking planet whispers between suckling his earlobe. “Stop thinking so hard.” Soft lips drop to his throat and a sigh falls out of him, eyes rolling back in his head. “This is real, ‘Pool.” He says it with all the warmth Wade would want him to say it with, and it makes his stomach drop.
“I really want to believe you, except for this to be real, Spider-Man would have to be rock hard for me, and at this point I’m almost positive that guy is either straight or definitively not into me. There’s only so many times you can comment on your friend’s ass with little to no reaction before you have to accept that you might be the mousy brunette girl from He’s Just Not That Into You.”
Fantasy-Spider nips at his adam’s apple, and Wade would be concerned about the risk of himself swooning over the edge of this building, except he’s pretty sure the ground won’t actually hurt if this is all in his head. “You’re forgetting how the movie ends,” Spidey says. He’s licking up the middle of Wade’s throat now, evidently intent on kissing every inch of skin not currently hidden under the Deadpool mask. “Justin Long comes to his senses.”
“I’m not really the kind of guy people come to their senses about. Cum senseless for, sure. Come to dread, definitely. But—”
Warm lips disappear from him with a huff, leaving only the chilly night air in their place. “Wade,” Spidey says with exasperation and maybe a hint of…desperation? He takes a breath, then pulls his mask fully off his face, revealing the prettiest doe-eyed man Wade’s ever seen in his life. “This is real. Fuck, would you just believe me?”
“Webs?” he says, a bit in awe, because he’s less convinced he'd be able to make up a face like this in his head. He’s always thought Spider-Man seemed like a green-eyed guy, but its a hazelnut brown that the city lights are glowing in, and Jesus, Mary and Joseph…
“Peter,” Spider-Man, possibly the real Spider-Man, says to him, a small smile curling at the edges of his full lips. “You gonna kiss me back now?”
Wade’s eyes go so wide the slits of his mask probably touch. It takes about three seconds, but when his brain finally catches up he breathes, “Fuck yeah, baby boy,” and pulls Spidey back in so fast that he yelps.
The taste of Peter, the feeling of Peter under his hands, the way Peter’s name sounds on his tongue, the sound of his name falling out of Peter’s mouth—
Not fantasy. Not insanity.
