made myself sad last night by thinking about all the people I loved and have now lost — both to my life and by being introjected here. If it was just ones who've died, maybe I would be okay. I miss them so much, but I've been grieving them for years.
The ones I lost to introjection? Those are fresh. It's new grief. I have to deal with the fact that I've lost more people, and this time there really is nothing I could have done to keep them. It doubly sucks that I know that my best friend is abundant as kin/fictives, but I still don't have him. I can never talk to him again, because those other versions won't know me like he did. It sucks.
friendly neighborhood Spider-Man fictive #🕸️webs