Chapter 5 “The Spider Bake Sale”
Bubbly excited screaming and laughter erupted from the pink-walled hallway on the left where big smiling Mugman was hands-forward running out of, followed by growling and war-shouting Cuphead who was sprinting after his brother. Mugman turned right and kept running to the lower right of the room away from Cuphead as fast as he could, but then stopped as he reached the corner.
Cuphead let out an evil villainous cackle, causing Mugman to stiffen, tremble, and then whimper all with a big squiggly smile on his face. Mugman rotated his trembling head 180 degrees to look behind him and see Cuphead with his arms wide, fingers spreading like claws and wiggling in preparation.
“Dead end Muggy boy.” Cuphead said like some evil deep-voiced cowboy while his teasing eyebrows wiggled.
Mugman shivered and his squiggly smile stretched even more and became even more crooked with all the thrill he was feeling. He walked backward, but soon realized with shivering shock (his body grew goosebumps and his pupils trembled) that his body was moving towards Cuphead (because he was facing 180 degrees behind him), so he rotated his body while walking backward that it looked like he was walking in a ‘U’ towards the corner of the wall without facing away from Cuphead.
Cuphead let out an evil giggle. “Ya know… back in the rocks… didn’t ya say ya wanted a tickle?” He raised an eyebrow and wiggled his fingers faster at ‘tickle’.
In addition to his goosebumps, Mugman’s spine shivered like a hissing cat and his smile grew wider as he squeaked in thrill.
“Wh-what?!” Mugman took a squeaky inhale. “I- I never said that!” His back squeezed into the corner behind him. Unnoticed by him, the shivering straw on his head popped into an exclamation point for a moment.
Cuphead’s eyes noticed Mugman’s straw, his smile widened even more mischievously, his evil giggle started slow and then hastened, and his fingers wiggled even faster. “Your straw says otherwise, Mugsy.”
Mugman scrambled his trembling arms to get a hold of his straw from shaking. “CUPHEAD SSTOOP!” He said with a smile.
“Oh, you’re gonna get it for tryin’ tuh tickle my stomach baby bro-!” Cuphead shrieked as he felt a tickle on the top side of his bendy straw. His eyes fiercely glared at Mugman as he giggled and said “AND MY STRA-HAW! COME-!” He blinked and then frowned as he realized confused-frowning Mugman was actually too far to tickle him.
Cuphead weakly whipped his head to the right making his straw stir from the back of his head towards his front, and on the tip of his bendy straw was a black bug with eight legs skittering and clinging to it.
“AAAGH!” Cuphead’s eyes trembled and his entire body jolted. “SPIDER! SPIDER!” The tip of his bendy straw turned into a hand and he backhanded whipped the spider away flying to the wall on his left.
Cuphead panic-heaved in quick successions as he arms-forward ran towards frightened Mugman and hugged him while the latter hugged him back.
Mugman’s eyes wandered up, and as he looked at the ceiling, he made a wheezing gasp while his eyes shrank.
“EFEFE-!” Mugman spoke in a wheezing voice and Cuphead noticed him in concern. “EFEFEFUFIFACUPHEAHEAHEADUGHUGHUGH!” His shivering right hand pointed towards the ceiling which Cuphead’s eyes followed.
Above them was a blanket swarm of black large spiders that covered the entire ceiling, some were slightly smaller and younger while some were adult-sized, standing on the ceiling with some skittering to find their space, but all of their glossy glowing crimson red eyes were fixated on the boys.
Cuphead’s pupils shrunk as he let out a wheezing gasp of his own. “EFEFE-!” Already hugging, He and Mugman wrapped their arms like snakes around each other’s bodies even more. “EFEFEFUFIFAMUGMAHAHAHANNUGHUGHUGH!”
They continued trembling and speaking in wheezing gibberish as their arms continued to elongate and wrap like 4 snakes (two arms each) around their entire upper bodies (from their chests to their stomachs), and finally, they constricted and tightened each other for dear life. As they kept squeezing each other, the color from their shoes up to their exclamation point straws gradually turned pale white (whiter than their cup and mug heads). Then… their bodies sank deeper into the corner of that room… and they died.
Their light blue spirit energy wisped out of their eyes and formed into their respective gloomy closed-eyes ghosts floating towards the ceiling. As they glided up to the ceiling, their eyes fluttered open in waking, and then suddenly sprung open in fright and they shrieked as they were nearing the blanket of upside-down spiders that were smiling with teeth from within their mandible mouths and giggling like creepy squeaky bats.
As they noticed the creepy spiders, ghosts Cuphead and Mugman screamed in fright, their ghost forms shivered and their straw haloes turned into exclamation points. They turned to each other and screamed as they pointed their fingers at their ghost forms. In one swift downward stroke of their head straw hands, they parried each other’s pink hearts on their ghost chests. As if by vacuum cleaners, their spirits were sucked back into their dark eye sockets and they awoke with huge gasping of air.
“RUUUN!” Cuphead yelled at the top of his lungs.
Cuphead and Mugman ran in split left and right directions respectively, but their rope-tied, snake-constricting, hug held their upper bodies together while their heads and legs were gaining distance apart as they ran on air (so it looked like a weird hourglass shape of their heads and legs as the bases and the middle which is their upper bodies constricted by their arms). After a good few seconds of running apart on air, their over-stretched hug pulled them back and it whipped them together, and they grunted loudly in pain as they slammed flat into each other’s faces (forehead-to-forehead, and nose-to-nose).
“Oooowww…” They both groaned.
The spiders giggled even louder, and some even laughed as they watched the boys, and it caused the boys to freak out and then run forward aimlessly while screaming in terror under the continuous ceiling of creepy bat-like laughter.
“Don’t let go of me buddy!” Mugman cried out as he ran.
“NO! YOU DON’T LET GO!” Teary-eyed Cuphead glared and towered his face over Mugman.
“NO! YOUUUU!!” Mugman constricted his hug even more and yelled at Cuphead’s face that drool was all over the latter.
“NOO! YOUUUUHUHUHU!!” Cuphead tightened even tighter than Mugman’s hug and yelled at the latter’s face with more drool.
SPLAT! They ran straight onto a wooden sign.
“Oooooooowwwww…..” They both moaned loudly in pain.
The spider giggling and laughing turned into a massive creepy loud cackle fest, all while poor Cuphead and Mugman were lying side by side lowly moaning in pain with dizzy swirly spinning eyes still trapped in their rope-tight hug. At first, their vision was blurry and spinning, but then it slowly became steady as they focused on the blurry brown rectangle in front of them. The brown rectangle then became a sign with cobwebs on the upper left and lower right corners and a text in black was written on it.
“Spider Bake Sale.” Mugman said. “All proceeds go to real spiders.”
Cuphead and Mugman gasped in realization. “Ohhhh….”
They both looked up and behind them and noticed the spiders that were watching them eagerly. Cuphead and Mugman gave very big but nervous smiles.
”Uhh… maybe we should buy something?” Mugman smiled nervously at Cuphead.
“Y-yeah… good idea.” Cuphead smiled back nervously at Mugman.
Initially, Cuphead and Mugman used both of their hands to push themselves up, but their arm movements caused their hug to squeeze and wiggle around their stomachs and armpits which made them giggle at the small tickles they felt.
“MUGS!” Cuphead yelled as he smiled at Mugman.
“He-hey! I didn’t mean to!” Mugman giggled.
Carefully and slowly this time, they pushed themselves off the floor and stood up facing the creepy spiders. Altogether, the spiders pointed their eyes in the direction behind the sign. Cuphead and Mugman turned their heads exactly 180 degrees around and saw two cobwebs on the left and right behind the sign, the left was small while the right was big.
Together Cuphead and Mugman, with a bit of wobbling (and a bit of annoyance at each other’s miscoordination), towards the smaller cobweb on the left.
A big text woven in spider silk was written in the cobweb.
‘Spider Donut: 7G’
“Mmmmm!” Cuphead and Mugman licked their lips as their mouths salivated.
“A donut sounds delicious right now eh pal?” Cuphead smiled at Mugman.
Mugman nodded eagerly with his long Scooby-Doo tongue sticking out and flailing around.
Cuphead tried to move his hands, but his wrist and his arms wiggled Mugman’s left stomach, causing him to jolt and laugh.
“I’hahi’ll do it! I’ll get the coins.” Mugman shot a teasing glare at Cuphead.
Cuphead giggled and shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry bro.”
Mugman used his left hand to fish the coins from Cuphead’s left pocket on his red shorts. He took out a few jingling coins on his left hand, counted three viewing from over his brother’s right shoulder, then passed it jingling on his right hand, and then fished with his left hand in that same pocket for more coins that jingled at the drabble of his left fingers.
“Hurry up already.” Cuphead playfully bumped his right hip to Mugman’s right hip.
Mugman giggled as he tried to balance his stand. “I’m counting sheesh.”
With the sound of coins being clink-clipped together by fingers, Mugman pulled out his hand and unfolded his fingers to reveal a handful of fourteen gold coins. Letting his hands tilt down to the weight of the coins, Mugman let the gold coins fall on the floor jingling in front of the cobweb.
Some of the spiders from the ceiling rappelled down using their spider web produced from their posteriors, while some climbed and skittered down via the wall and the small cobweb on the wall, and they all caused Cuphead and Mugman to back away in creeped out disgust and fear. As the spiders landed and crawled over to the coins, the spiders fiddled their legs on the jingling coins, moving and shuffling them around as if they were counting. When they were done, the smaller swarm of spiders took the coins and carried one or two at a time while the large spiders carried three or four at a time, and then rappelled up while some climbed up the web.
Cuphead and Mugman’s glossy eyes reflected the pink glazed donuts of purple bread, and their mouths drooled to the point saliva was dripping from between their teeth, to their lower lips, to their chins, and then splashing to the floor. They both rushed in to get the donuts but again forgot they wrapped up tight in their hug and tripped forward in front of the donuts.
Cuphead and Mugman smirked at each other.
“Okay, to be fair, you told me not to let go.” Mugman raised an eyebrow and tilted his head down to Cuphead, making his smirk more teasing.
Smirking, Cuphead rolled his eyes. “Why’d ya listen to me?”
“Cuz yer the big bro.” Mugman sassily remarked as he bumped his left hip to Cuphead’s right.
Cuphead’s smiley mouth gaped wide-open. “Oh you did not just use the big bro card against me!” He pushed his right shoulder against Mugman’s left shoulder and they bubbly laughed together.
“Instant karma bro. So does this mean ya wanna let go?” Mugman giggled and raised an eyebrow as if he were challenging Cuphead.
Cuphead opened his mouth as he was about to rebut… but then stepped to look at the right corners of his eyes, and then looked up at the ceiling at the spiders again.
Cuphead made a very big but sheepish smile as he shyly shrugged his shoulders at Mugman. “When we get outta here?” He suggested.
“When we get outta here.” Mugman nodded as he smiled and then giggled.
Cuphead and Mugman opened their huge mouths, scooped up the donuts with their jaws like shovels on the ground, and began munching like jolly and goofy crocodiles with the donuts staining their teeth in purple, black, and pink. Their lips were dirtied with purple, pink, and black crumbs of the donut, and they licked their lips clean with satisfaction.
“I liked how crunchy it was!” Cuphead looked at his brother as he placed his hands on the floor at the ready.
“A-hahand gooey too! Not too sweet, it definitely was somethin'!” Mugman looked at his brother as he too placed his hands on the floor at the ready.
In sync, Cuphead and Mugman pushed themselves up with ease (unlike the previous hassle hustle earlier). Mugman was going left while Cuphead was going right so they bumped into each other.
“Where’re ya goin'?” Cuphead raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“Out.” Mugman pointed to the hallway they came from on their left. “Where’re YAA goin'?” He raised an eyebrow.
“I wanna check out what they’re sellin' in the big web over there.” Cuphead pointed over to the web on their right.
They both glanced at the bigger web on the right corner.
“No way!” Mugman whipped his head back at Cuphead and glared at the latter. “We already bought something, let’s get outta here!”
“Aw come on, it’ll be a quick check!” Cuphead shook his arms teasingly, wiggling Mugman’s body a bit causing Mugman to giggle at the tickles.
“O-hohor maybe ya just want tuh keep huggin.” Mugman smirked.
“EAUGH!” Cuphead stuck his tongue out… then after a pause looked at the upper corner of his eyes and an involuntary tiny blush warmed on his cheeks. “Don’t pretend ya don’t want to.”
“EAUGH!” Mugman spit his tongue out of his smiley mouth as he glared in surprise at Cuphead.
Cuphead squeezed shut his eyes and bit his lower lip in regret, while Mugman bit his lower lip with delight as he looked teasingly at Cuphead.
Mugman giggled. “I can’t believe ya-!”
“Yeah me neither, shut up.” Cuphead pulled Mugman along as he walked to the large cobweb on the right.
Mugman’s smile grew as he walked with his brother. “I lo-!”
“SHUT UP!” Cuphead’s glare got bigger as he gritted his teeth in his part-embarrassed, part-irritated, part-happy smile.
They both shared a giggle fit as they walked to the large cobweb on the right.
Another text was written in silk on the cobweb.
-Spider Cider 18G-
“Wait…” Mugman narrowed his eyes at the text. “Cider? As in… alcohol?”
“Ooo!” Cuphead’s eyes glimmered with excitement as he accidentally pushed Mugman aside to look at the text (causing Mugman to grumble and glare a little). “Let’s try it!”
“Cuphead no!” Mugman pushed back as he glared, while Cuphead glared back in confusion. “We’re barely legal!”
“Uhh, we’re pre-teens?” Cuphead raised an eyebrow and smirked.
“Yeah! Six years underaged!” Mugman towered his head over Cuphead as he looked his large bloodshot eyes furious eyes into the latter’s; they were nose to nose.
“Aw come on.” Relaxed smiling Cuphead, with his hand that stretched all the way from Mugman's hip, gently booped Mugman’s nose and pushed him down back to normal head level, which surprised him and calmed him down. “Ya remember what Porkrind said about alcohol right?”
Back in his shop in the Inkwell Isle, while they were buying new magic potions…
“Ha!” Porkrind slammed the counter and pointed his finger at Mugman. “Why do I drink alcohol he asks!” He laughed while loudly patting the table. “Why it’s only the best thing that’s ever been invented! Moonshine, Vodka, Whiskey, Beer…” He sighed in satisfaction. “Trust me kids, it’s water from heaven that will change your life.
Eyes twitching, Mugman stared at the wall nervously; deep down he was fighting back the temptation to try drinking. Meanwhile, Cuphead’s mischievous smile stretched bigger as he sensed his brother’s hesitation.
“You know you want to buddy.” Cuphead wiggled his eyebrows as he leaned closer to Mugman.
Mugman mumbled nervously and he looked with shaky eyes at Cuphead. “This spells trouble and you know it.”
“Yeahhh….” Cuphead rolled his eyes to the upper left corner in thought, and then slyly looked at Mugman with his half-closed eyes. “If Elder Kettle knew that is.” He grinned mischievously and wiggled his eyebrows.
Mugman squeaked as he bit his lower lip and looked at the wall realizing Cuphead’s ‘bad’ idea.
“Come on!” Cuphead gave Mugman a gentle shake. “It’ll be our buddy secret! Nobuddy will know but us.” He giggled.
Continuing to stare at the wall, Mugman’s mouth squiggled (his left end was frowning while his right end was smiling); he wanted to laugh at the pun, but he was also terrified of the consequences of giving in… but it would still be so much fun if they tried and eventually he squeezed his eyes shut and grumbled knowing this.
Mugman chucked his hand into Cuphead’s left pocket and began digging it for more jingling coins. Meanwhile, Cuphead was giggling at Mugman.
“Ya know, technically you’re the one buying it.” Cuphead grinned mischievously.
“Shut up.” He said as he stuck his tongue out in focus.
Cuphead huffed and glared at Mugman. “Rude.”
“No I mean it’s supposed to be a secret don’t blow it.” Mugman smirked at Cuphead.
“Ahhh!” Cuphead squeaked due to his surprise. “Buddy!!!” His hug picked giggling Mugman up to the air and he shook him left to right over and over. “I lo-!”
“Shut up!” Mugman’s eyes widened suddenly. “Wait what was that las-“
“Uh-uh, you told me to shut up.” Cuphead put Mugman down as he smirked.
“You said the L-word.” Mugman’s eyes narrowed as he smirked.
“I didn’t say nuthin’.” Cuphead’s eyes narrowed as he looked into Mugman’s.
Mugman just grumbled, wishing what he suspected was true while he kept fiddling and counting the coins he was fishing from Cuphead’s left pocket; Cuphead meanwhile was giggling at Mugman’s grumbling. When he was done, he clinked the coins together in his palm, brought his hand out of Cuphead’s pocket, and then unfolded his fingers to reveal a handful of 18 coins, which he then threw onto the floor.
Like before, the spiders came down, counted the coins that were shuffling between their legs, and took them up rappelling back to the ceiling. Afterward, from the large cobweb on the wall, another swarm of spiders brought down a brown ceramic flagon that they carried in swarms to the open space on the floor, and then set the heavy flagon down, accidentally squishing a leg of a spider on the left which screamed and trembled in pain as it tried to yank its leg out while the other spiders rushed to its side trying to help yank it out.
Frightened and with quick reflexes, Cuphead and Mugman rushed to the flagon and picked it up.
The spider’s leg was trembling, bent upwards, and the middle was squashed flat; the spider in question’s screeching lessened and was calming down. The other spiders skittered to the injured spider's squished leg, while some went behind the spider, then they began pulling the spider and its leg apart, and finally, the leg came off; The boys were watching in creeped out teeth-gritted frowns and they shivered once the leg popped off. The spiders faced the boys and waved their legs like ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye’ (the seven-legged spider waved its leg that was holding its detached leg). In response, the boys nervously smiled, tightened their hug a bit, and then waved their hands (which were by their opposing their hips, while their occupied hands were holding the flagon) at the spiders. Both of them chuckled nervously, then faced the exit, and then walked on and on while continuing to nervous chuckle.
They stepped into the previous room they were in (the one where they met Napstablook earlier) and after a few seconds of nervous chuckling, they both unleashed their biggest and loudest sighs of relief followed by continuous panting of stress.
“Good thing…” Cuphead continued panting. “We don’t have…” He panted more. “Spider enemies…” He panted more. “At home…"
“Don’t…” Mugman panted. “Don’t jinx it…”
Together they took a deep inhale and then a big exhale to finish. They smiled at each other in a few seconds of silence.
“Uhh… you can let go now...” Mugman said, referring to their snake-constricting hug that was still in place.
“No you let go.” Cuphead teased as he smirked at Mugman.
They both kept smirking at each other without moving…and standing… and waiting… as if it were a game of ‘firstonewholetsgoistheloserwhilethewinnergetsthebigbrocard.’
“Wanna drink the cider?” Cuphead looked at Mugman with a big smile as he lifted the cider to their faces.
“Sure!” Mugman replied with his own bright and big smile.
They tilted their heads towards each other and tangled their respective blue and red straws together until they twisted into a big funnel of blue and red candy cane stripes.
“Cheers!” They said to each other and then clinked their heads together.
“Together they lifted the flagon up to their funnel, and poured the black cider into the funnel which began pumping liquid into their straws and into their respective heads…… and suddenly their eyes and mouths opened in shock.
“LEAUGH!” They both yelled in disgust with their crooked tongues spat out, their funnel untangled into their crooked disgusted straws, their arms untangled into goofy spread out hands, their pupils looked in different directions, and their legs were twisted around.
They both pinched their noses and blew them, which caused their straw to literally spit out their milk onto each other’s faces.
“Yuck!” Cuphead wiped off his face of milk. “What was that?!”
“Eaugh!” Mugman rubbed his tongue repeatedly with his two hands as if he was trying to remove the taste. “That was the most horrible thing I’ve ever tasted!” He looked at Cuphead.
“Man apple juice was waaay bettah than this stuff.” Cuphead lifted the flagon as they started walking towards the northern exit.
“Or a milkshake.” Mugman said as he walked beside his brother and put held his hands behind his back.
“Or a soda!” Cuphead's eyes widened as he smiled.
“Or root beer!” Mugman's eyes widened as he smiled.
They both slurped their lips, paused walking, slouched, and looked dreamily at the space in front of them with their salivating tongues sticking out of the left end of their mouths. “Mmmm! Root beer! Jinx!” They both pointed their fingers at each other.
“Double jinx!” Mugman pointed his finger at Cuphead.
“What?!" Cuphead's eyes widened in surprise. "No way!” He narrowed his glare and smirked snarkily.
“Uh-uh!" Mugman wagged his right index finger. "That was for the ‘Eaugh!’" He assumed his goofy disgusted spit-out tongue face. "...earlier.” He smirked snarkily at Cuphead.
Cuphead covered his eyes with the wrists of his fists and grunted in frustrated realization. “You’re right!”
“2-2?” Mugman raised an eyebrow and smiled as he buddy hugged Cuphead.
“2-2.” Cuphead smirked at Mugman as the former buddy hugged the latter. “You still owe me two hotdogs!” He booped Mugman's nose.
“Well you owe me two…” Mugman tapped his tinking chin twice. “Somethin’.” He booped Cuphead's tiny nose. "Hey that DOES feel good!" He made a big smile.
Cuphead giggled. “Deal!” He buddy hugged his brother. "AAAND told ya."
Cuphead and Mugman buddy walked together, arms wrapped behind each other’s necks, and playfully booped each other's nose as they giggled and laughed into the next room.
-End of Chapter 5-
Author’s Note
Sorry, I’m a few weeks late on this chapter. I’m considering to trim the interaction between Cuphead & Mugman and the monsters since I’ve already demonstrated the idea in Chapter 3, and that it’s taking too long for me to reach the important interactions of the cupbros and the rest of the underground gang (Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, etc.), and overall it would make the story too long and draggy. So I’ll probably congest their interactions into one event, or employ a more Cuphead Run n Gun style where they evade or shoot the monsters, but it will also be full of small talk like at most two sentences of exchanges.
We’re almost at “Home”, I really thought this chapter would be it, but I got carried away with the story.
“Take your sweet time my children! I’m just… minding my own business”. Toriel smiled nervously, hoping no one would know what she’s up to. She suddenly sniffs in suspicion. “Wait… is something burni-! OH MY GOODNESS MY PIE!”
I’ve been itching for her to come back, so you’re not alone in this struggle.
I’m juggling multiple projects right now, not just this fanfic, so it’s taking more time than I anticipated. So it might be June when you’ll see the next chapter, sorry guys, just doing my best to give you a quality story.
Enjoy!
