#speaksup

My Bullying Story. I never really had any problems in my life until i moved away from Garrison Rd to Crystal Beach for two months because we got kicked out of our old place. The reason why we got kicked out was because my father never paid the rent and didn’t inform my mother about this. My father was a very aggressive alcoholic which i never liked being around. He was very violent and the police always had to be called because i was afraid for my mothers protection. I could write a whole paragraph about this horrible man but i’m not going to waste my breathe talking about him if he cannot spend three minutes talking to us on the phone just to see how were all doing. When i was living in Crystal Beach, kids in the neighbourhood always picked on me and would chase me down the streets because they knew i was afraid of them. Always had somebody knocking on my door and whenever i opened it these guys would start spraying me with their water guns and i used to think to myself. What’s wrong with me? Why do kids hate me so much?

I was in grade three and started school at General Vanier Public School where i first started getting bullied by the older kids. I was a very quiet kid and never really had friends except the kids that lived around my house and the neighbourhood  I was took en out of best elementary school called Garrison Road Public School because of my father. I had allot of friends at Garrison Rd and never got bullied because i always did my own thing and didn’t really get bothered by most of the kids that went to the school. I had to start all over and make new friends and live a different life style. It took myself a long time to just ignore the ones that bullied me through grade three to grade six.

My mother finally left my father after being kicked out in the middle of winter because he had another one of his mood swings and blacked out after my mother came home from Delta Bingo. He always used to wake up not remembering anything he did. Everyday i’d watch him drink his cheap whiskey, he’d go from being so happy to being very angry in hours. When he realized the next morning he booted us out of the house he came back crying telling my mother he would change and to come back but she had already played his game for way to long and she just had enough. 

During the break up of my mother and father. My mother met this guy from the lady who took us into her home during the cold winter. He is now is her husband which i still to this day call him her “Boyfriend” We ended up moving down town of Fort Erie and i started school at Rose Seaton Public School where i actually met a lot of friends and felt more free doing things. I was depressed always switching school because it took me so long to make friends and i always had to start fresh and leave everything behind. I ended up staying at Rose Seaton until high-school started and that’s where my story actually starts.

When i was in grade six i started falling for this boy that i liked a lot. I always kept everything a secret and we ended up dating for a little while until we got caught kissing and everyone started talking about me being gay. All the way from grade six to grade eight nobody really said anything rude to me about liking boys because the girls i used to hangout with accepted me and the guys had no choice but to put up with me if they ever wanted a girl at least. My first crush was in grade two and never really knew anything about being gay back then. But i loved my best friend in grade two and always wanted to be around him and that’s part of the reason why i was so upset leaving Garrison Road because i never got to see anyone i went to school with until high-school.

In grade eight everyone knew that i liked guys and that’s when everyone started talking about me and always asking me questions like. Are you gay? Do you like boys? i used to feel very uncomfortable talking about it but i always answered the questions because i felt like i had no choice. My mother never found out about me until grade nine and the only reason she found out was because of the only picture i took with my ex-boyfriend and we were kissing and she kinda was very upset. She didn’t understand why i was gay and felt that she did something wrong even though it was just natural and i was just born this way. I felt that my mother would never have supported me because she never understood anything or the way i felt. It took some time for my mother to realize that it’s okay to be free and i don’t have to hide away anymore. I broke free and it felt so much better then being hidden away in a closet. The only thing my mother wanted from me was to be happy and i couldn’t have thanked her enough. My mother has placed my father and she’s also my best-friend.

Grade nine. The first day of high school is always so scary, you don’t know anyone and half of your friends aren’t in high school yet. You feel like your misplaced and very alone and have no friends which makes you feel very depressed. Thanks to music it help me through everything. I never really wanted to be in high school because i had no friends. They bumped me up from grade seven to grade nine which was a horrible idea because i missed out on so much. During grade eight in the summer i used to hangout with my step cousin all the time and we always went to Crystal Beach to go swimming and i ended up meeting my step cousin’s best-friend. Which i ended up dating her brother for eleven months. I was very open with being with a guy in public or even at school because i didn’t care for what people had to say about us because i was simply in-love and felt that the love was stronger then the hate that i was getting from others. Both of our parents were not accepting the fact that we were dating but it didn’t stop us from seeing each other. I remember riding my bike to Crystal Beach every other day just to have that chance to see this boy for 15 minutes. Rain or shine i still went, even when it was snowing i biked my heart out. For months we weren’t allowed to see each other but we still stayed together and talked online forever. His parents and family started accepting us and actually started letting us hangout and such. I thought everything was so great but we broke up after eleven months because he didn’t have the same feelings as i did. He was the only reason i went to school and class. I always made sure i finished my work because i always had something to look forward to after school and that was just being able to talk to him. I remember how happy i was and even if it was just only eleven months. I felt like it was the best part of my life being so happy. I always look back and wonder how come i’m not with somebody or found somebody already. It’s because i’m not happy with anyone else and i don’t gain the same feelings towards others. It’s like i’m almost never happy when i’m in a relationship because it always makes me think of how happy i was once upon a time. 

I was bullied from grade nine to grade ten. Only because i was gay and for the clothing i used to wear. I was like the only kid who wore neon colours and skinny jeans and somebody always had a name for me like. “Blueberry faggot” or was labelled as “The dirty kids” because i used to stand with a selective group that was different from everyone else. We didn’t have friends and all of us were getting bullied because of the way we all looked. I felt like i was getting torchered and used to think that there wasn’t a point in living anymore but my friends made me realize i was here for a reason and you only have one chance at life and only can live once so live life to the fullest while you can. I ended up being the kid who was always hated to being the one whose always getting loved. I may have had to punch somebody out or get a fruit basket thrown at me but everything made me realize. If i made it this far so can you. 

I have never been so happy loving those around me. Even if somebody tells you that you are nothing because one day you’ll prove them all wrong and they’ll be crawling back wanting to be your friend. Just be yourself and always follow your dreams never let somebody stop you from doing what you do best. This is my last year at highschool and i’d like to just thank all of you for everything. Making the person i am today and making me realize that i’m more loved then hated. This is enough for now. ♥