~In Defense of Al~ {Official statement from Al HQ, courtesy of PR rep Cole Dickering} Followers, for the past few days you've been reading about a bad break I got. How I was photographed playing, attacking feathers and a stuffed oblong thing, behaving in a manner contrary to everything I espouse. Yet today, I consider myself the sleepiest cat on the face of the earth. I have slept on beds, couches, cushions, carpets, chairs, stovetops, piles of laundry (both clean and unclean), the Dude's chest, the pillow next to the pillow the Dude sleeps on and I have never broken that slumber other than to stretch and rise and eat one of my court mandated eleven meals of the day. I am here to repledge my allegiance to the #slumberparty and to reaffirm my vow to #keepsleeplegal. Never forget that I am the only candidate who promises to never outlaw sleep. Neither #donaldtrump nor #hillaryclinton have signed the Declaration of Sleeper's Rights which I'm pretty sure I mailed to them. Pip was supposed to do it. But let's be honest, it's Pip. If you told him to walk around a circle, he'd get lost. Am I right? #speakingtruthtoPippower Look, those photos--do we even need to talk about them? They were taken out of context. But even if they weren't, hypothetically. Let me ask you ... I am a cat. Has not a cat eyes, paws, claws, bunny legs, affections, passions? If you dangle toys in front of us, will we not play? If there's an oblong toy thing, will we not kick at it? If we are provoked by sudden, rapid movement shall we not try to kill the source of said sudden, rapid movement? I pose these questions rhetorically. But fully expect you to answer them internally. If you can't forgive me for my theoretical transgressions, then whom could you ever theoretically forgive? #makesyouthink I close in saying that I might have had a bad break, but I have an awful lot to sleep for. Sleep on, America. #plagiarismuch? #cats #sleepycat #instacat #instagood #catstagram #catsofinstagram #catoftheday #ilovemycat #pets #election2016 #petstagram #funnycat #chat #katzen #gato #cute #adoptdontshop #petoftheday
