#spacebabies

“Because I love you,” he whispered. The air in the room grew heavy, and her tears stopped just for a moment, not expecting him to say that. He just shook his head, his own guilt coming out to challenge hers now. “I love you.”

“Doctor…” she said, and he just shook his head.

“This is about me, Rose. Not you,” he muttered. “He’s still angry about the Time War. There’s a reason he set all of that up on that planet. It’s not lost on me...He knew what he was doing.” She didn’t say anything, and he sighed. “I love you. And that is what makes you his target. That’s what always makes you... Bad Wolf...I lose you and he knows it hurts me. I lose Alice and he knows it hurts me. That’s what this is.”

“You’re not losing us,” she said seriously. “He’s not going to win.”

He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, “I just…”

“I know,” she said. “Me too.” He looked at her, and she leaned her head on the edge of the bathtub, looking up at the ceiling. “I feel like we made a mistake.”

She regretted the words the moment she spoke. They didn’t come out the way she meant them to, and she knew they were spurred from exhaustion. Even still, she knew how they sounded and she couldn’t believe she said them, and she felt her heart break as a completely different kind of guilt coursed through her, hot in her blood, and his head snapped to her in shock.

“Tell me you don’t mean that,” he whispered. Her throat was painfully tight and she just broke out into tears again, and both of their heads were going through too much for him to be able to tell what she was thinking. “Rose, talk to me.”

“Of course I don’t,” she said through her tears. “I didn’t mean her. I meant… I don't know what I meant. But just….I…”

“Come here,” he said. He pulled her into a hug and she let everything weigh her down for a little while longer. “Take a deep breath. What are you thinking? Just tell me.”

She bit her lip, her voice breaking a little.

“My job is to keep her safe,” she whispered.

“Not just your job, Rose,” he reminded her tenderly, and she closed her eyes. “And we will. We’ve known that and said that from the beginning. She’s got us. She’s strong.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, and she began to chew the skin on her lip, opening up a small cut she’d made on Rassilon’s TARDIS. She began to taste a bit of blood and she ignored it. “Am I a bad mother?”

He pulled away to look at her, and he just smiled, saying the only thing that came to mind.

“Never ever,” he whispered with conviction.

Rose felt her heart skip a beat.

It was just two words. Two simple words he once vowed to never say, and because of that they held so much meaning. It was a declaration of just how far they’d come and she knew it; of just how much he believed in her; of just how impossible he found her to be and she just stared at him, counting the freckles on his face before she pulled him into a long kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and he held her waist, deepening the kiss almost immediately, and he whispered her name as lips brushed and tongues danced, and with each kiss, she felt herself calm down.

Marriage.

She pulled away slowly, rubbing her lips together to ensure she got every bit of his taste, and she let out a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“I mean that, Rose,” he said. “You are going to be fantastic.”

“Okay, stop with the sweet references before I cry again,” she said, laughing a little, and the sound made him smile so brightly it dazzled against the tile floor.

“Can’t help it. I’m just too good,” he said, and she hit his arm.

“Stop,” she said, laughing more, and he chuckled with her, kissing her forehead.

“I’m so glad I met you,” he whispered, the tone of the room getting more tender, and he winked at her. She bit her lip and smiled.

“Me too,” she replied, and his smile matched hers. “Okay, seriously, stop it. I’m gonna cry.”

He laughed and hugged her again, and he could tell she was feeling more like herself. She pulled away and fluttered her lips. “Can you help me up? I’m basically a barrage balloon.”

“Oh, so you can make references but I can’t?” he scoffed, standing and pulling her up. “You’re a tease, Rose Tyler. That’s what you are.”

“You love me,” she said, resting her chin on his chest. He kissed her nose.

“Very much,” he murmured. “Are you alright?”

“I’m getting there. You helped,” she said, and he smiled a little. A moment passed, and she cupped his cheek. “Are you?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he whispered. She frowned.

“Doctor,” she began, and he shook his head.

“I’m better than the old me would have been. That’s all I can say,” he told her honestly, and she looked at him carefully. “I’m trying, Rose.”