o/! for the DVD commentary meme, can I hit you with the last few paragraphs of Every Single Other Universe? From "Which bird hieroglyph did you want to know how to pronounce?" through to the end. (Also, if you have anything to say about the bit where Wade compliments Logan's eyes and Logan gets all flustered about it, I love that little exchange very much.)
DVD commentary on those bits from Every Single Other Universe behind the cut for the meme, thank you for asking! 🥰
“This is darling. Look at them, baby’s first slaughter!” The red-suited menace made up, in one way or another, of their DNA, whirls through a crowd of bad guys, cleanly slicing someone in half with a katana and then catching the guy foolishly trying to sneak up on them from behind with three adamantium claws to the face. Sick! Wade couldn’t be prouder. “Do you think they look more like me or you? I hope they have your eyes. You have such pretty eyes.” “Oh,” says Logan, looking a little flustered. “Thank you.” Give Logan a minimum of three compliments a day every day for the rest of our lives, Wade mentally notes. Not perverted ones. Well, still perverted ones, can’t help those. But non-abs-related ones too. Logan’s looking away all shy like he must now hide his confirmed pretty eyes, but Wade saw that brief second of blushing chibi Logan and it was everything to him.
This is such a good thing to highlight because it's a key moment in the whole relationship development journey and Wade tooootally misses it. 🥲 I think Wade is such a special type of pansexual disaster because he knows how to flirt with women, like, he has the playbook for that based on when he grew up and, I imagine, coasting on a pretty face for a long-ass time, as we see with how relatively easy he gets with Vanessa (fair and I get it).
He also wants to fuck men, though, and unfortunately he is fucking terrible at communicating that. Just loses all ability to be a Real Boy and goes full Haha...Unless??? clown mode with over-the-top horniness. Unfortunately the balls-in-holes-esque innuendos are not treated as the mating overtures they are due to men being so afraid to experience a queer feeling that they take it all as a joke. A tragedy.
So, anyway, every horny thing Wade says about a man is something that he means and would follow through on given the opportunity in my opinion. Logan reads it all as meaningless homosocial tomfoolery, because of society and because Wade uses humor as a coping mechanism to protect himself from being Perceived.
And THUS, Wade hitting him with an obviously sincere compliment that's not about his tits or abs or dick throws him for a loop because first of all nobody compliments him genuinely like that ever because they'd have to be nice to him in the first place to do that, but also because, combined with their in-progress Grand Tour of Happier Thems, he is for the first time realizing that...maybe...Wade has been serious about all of it? Oh fuck, wait, wait oh fuck oh god, etc.
But what Wade takes away from this is just to try to come up with similar compliments so he can watch Logan be adorably shy and also to make him happy, not to pull back on the flirting that Logan can take as a joke. So close, buddy. So close.
Also Hugh Jackman has pretty eyes. I love hazel eyes! I have hazel eyes and I think they're neat. It's like, pick one color and stick with it! They can't though. They're not gonna.
Lazily stroking the base of Wade’s skull like he just enjoys the way Wade’s skin feels, Logan asks, “Which bird?” “Hmm?” “Which bird hieroglyph did you want to know how to pronounce? There are fifty-four of them.” “Fifty-four?!” Wade asks. Like it’s not emotionally devastating enough that Logan fucks like a pro and also wants him back, he has to be reminded that Logan is also smart as hell and has a whole entire multi-century history that Wade gets to learn about. God, this rules. “Okay, just FYI we might have to do a hot professor roleplay at some point. Where you actually teach me stuff because this is interesting but then also we fuck. Or maybe like an Indiana Jones thing. I’m ideating. Uh, whichever bird’s your favorite.”
First of all, I love comparing men to cats, and I think Logan would like the way Wade's skin feels and would enjoy nuzzling up on him. Headbutt. Scent mark. Purr. Etc.
Second of all, I did a really unnecessary amount of reading about hieroglyphics to get to this. I had to download multiple font packs to get everything to show up correctly. Here's G48:
Look at those little fuckers! Effervescent. I also was unaware that there were 54 bird hieroglyphs before I looked into this, the Ancient Egyptians were out here with bird feelings. This is a good sign list, treat yourself to the Gs. G33 is an egret and it means "tremble"! Girl, what.
Anyway, Logan was definitely low-key swept up in 1920s Egyptomania when King Tut's tomb was found, but took about thirty years to stop feeling like a dweeb about wanting to go to college. This has always been a very, very small field of study and only a few universities offer it as a Ph.D. Logan got his at NYU and spent some time with the Beatniks, fucked Jack Kerouac, got annoyed by hippies, and then left the US for awhile to work on some digs in Egypt before the sunshine got to be too much for him and he had to get away from the equator. He still keeps up with the field and continues to find hieroglyphs and logographic writing systems in general immensely appealing.
Logan is bad at role-playing but a pretty good teacher when it's a subject he loves. He and Wade try a professor/student thing but they get so deep in the weeds with the phonograms and determinatives that they forget to fuck. Couple goals: read the Book of the Dead together in the original hieroglyphs. Am I right???
(I also went to NYU and on a weekly basis daydream about an AU version of myself that went for Archaeology instead of an English degree. Should I go back to school?)
“G48. Three ducklings in a nest,” Logan says. Oh, he had that one in his back pocket ready to go. Wade looks forward to asking him many future questions about his favorite random things. Books, colors, flowers, decades, Pokemon. He might have to guide him through that last one, but he’s also thinking it’ll probably be Pikachu for a variety of reasons, mostly aesthetic. “It looks like they’re dancing. Translates to something like nest or pond. Pronounced like sesh but varies depending on context.”
The amount of research I had to do before I felt comfortable with that last line...I think it's right. I think.
I was iffy on the Pokemon reference because it's just out of my own age range and Wade is older than me, but it won out due to Ryan Reynolds voicing Pikachu in the Detective Pikachu movie. Also the Wolverine costume and Pikachu share a yellow and black color scheme and I find that funny.
This is a brand new feeling Wade’s having right now. Kind of an…academic horniness? Is that a thing? This is so exciting. Wade can’t wait to find out all the other ways Logan can make him weirder. And all the ways he can make Logan weirder. Oh hell yeah. Hell yeah. Not that he’s biased or anything, but Wade’s pretty sure this is going to be their best universe of all.
Academic horniness is a thing!! Not just for me, probably? Also couple goals is gradually merging into a little freak ball via weirdness fractalling over several centuries. Hell yeah.
Wade is biased, I actually think the South of France Besties 4eva universe is the best one, much less trauma and more of my favorite beach ever in Cannes. But I'll let him have this one, the old romantic.
Thank you for asking!! Hope this was enjoyable to read ♥️
