Ahh yk I'm just here killing off bad vibes how I do at the end of everyday smoking weed nicotine, drinking a bit, and sitting my ass on the couch where I belong not hurting a soul ππ
Oh fuck I always forget I am hurting myself doing those things oops
Oooh yes well if it makes you feel any better I mean the day I was willing to go in and get diagnosed I was telling them all of my symptoms and knew more or less what they said. I had to do my own independent research in order to kinda paint a picture for myself. I mean and to this day I'm hesitant to open up too much. I just think I'm giving up too much but honestly I'm not too worried about that anymore. I believe what I told them was the truth yk?
Lol yes it feels quite intoxicating. I mean making yourself feel intoxicated is half the battle man. I mean I'd absolutely hate work if there was nothing or no one to come home to yk? That where I'm at in life :') it's really not fun makes me make weird faces like that. Smiling when I'm actually just crying ;;
I mean I just hack my self into reality to this day. No one is truly respondiable for me. Only i am myself. I live for no one fight for everyone;; it's a hard fight
I had to be very mindful throughout my journey to not be overdulgent in things. I'm glad to report today I do things in a lot more moderation. It's not perfect but I'm mostly alone in my room these days I'm just glad I have someone to talk to. Being you because you are the only one talking to me as of now. I mean we keep up with each other everyday. Without you I fear what I would be doing with so much extra "free" time.
I have many people who are only ever here for me in spirit I am so thankful for too like oh wow music is fun hehehhehe >///<
Yeah honestly don't worry too much about it. I mean that really is kinda a rich fortune person games only. I have to struggle for health care over here too so I know what an up hill battle could be. I'd never rely on one to be doing the diagnosis unless to make it official. They really don't know you too well as a person after all.
Omg you are a true saint yk? I know how hard that is. Doing it without anything or anyone assistance for me it felt impossible so that's why I call you that.
Yeah no trust me π
I get that feel all too well it's the reason why I'm not really going out of my way to talk to anyone today
Man if God doesnt speak through this sinner sometimes. That's how I'd know I was truly bound to an eternity of damnation.
Cause he does and I'm forever thankful even if this reality is hell yk? :') I am thankful
I have vision of a distance world where people can trust eachother. It's very far from the one we know. I just hope to bring it closer
Ahh I hope the world will π you know by fighting for my will to live the way I do. It's a daily struggle but honestly I don't think it's over just yet :) I have my whole life to let the merciful lord's light shine through me. To at least always be the way I am. I knew many nightmares in my waking life. Yet never felt more at peace thinking and now knowing someone with good intentions was always watching. Myself, because I believe there is a god within us all. We are supposedly made in their stellar image after all π I say their because I've heard about femine teachers from Christianity. One was often sighted for being Jesus's most valued disciples. She was cut during the crusades where people waged war in the name of Christ.. what an painfully ironic to do in hindsight, but I suppose it's a product of it's time. My problem is they try to say she never existed because her teaching were perhaps some of the most beautiful and truly encapsulating the freedom of love. She represented all women beautiful I think. One of her things that stuck out to me was something along the lines of. "I am the house wife, I am your sister, I am the whore, I am your mother" Honestly it's so beautiful because it shows understanding and forgiveness to all women. I think it's beautiful combine terms that on the surface contrast eachother but it really is the pressure of being a woman I think. People shame you for wanting to put yourself out there, when putting yourself out there is what makes sisters mothers. When they meet a good man, lovers :) I think it shows the magnitude of their forgiveness and understanding especially for that time. Yeah I could see how such an idea wouldn't be convenient for Waring times. I mean the whole idea is to protect your woman and children so it makes sense for men to assume such a role... but this is the 21st century yk? Lol sorry maybe you're still living in a very traditional household. I don't mean to corrupt your faith but I'm just trying to explain the significance of the information I've come across. Her name was Mary Magdalene
Yes a good man should only desire what he deems a good women that is the only way I think you could truly call them lovers hehe :3