#sostrash

Luke won’t admit it to you, but he sometimes wishes he never met you.

Not because you were the death of him and made his life a living hell but simply because you were the opposite. You made his life more enjoyable and so fulfilling that he wants to rid himself of all the responsibilities of being heir to the throne.

In simple terms, he thinks of you as the sun, more or less. You bring fun and light into his dull life. You fill him with warmth just by your very presence and the grace of your smile on your pretty lips. You make him the happiest he’s ever been despite all the privileges and gifts royal blood grants him.

If he’s being honest, Luke still doesn’t understand why his brothers abdicated from the throne. Luke thinks he’s too young and immature to be the next ruler for the kingdom, but he just follows as he’s told because he doesn’t want to let people down.

Letting people down, one of his fears and insecurities in life, and he knows that’s what he’s doing to you each moment he doesn’t tell you the truth.

Luke won’t admit this to you, but he’s desperately waiting for the day you realize how he’s a terrible person, so you leave his life on your own terms and not for arbitrary reasons. He’d rather it be him, not you, who suffers the most, because he believes you deserve so much more than who he is now. You don’t deserve pain. You don’t deserve to suffer, because you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just him, who’s an idiot and a complete coward.

The thing is though as much as he wishes you were gone, he doesn’t want that to happen. Not in a million years, not in a million parallel universes does he want to live his life without you.

He doesn’t want you to leave him because then he’s back to this “noble” son and this “honorable” son status just because he’s willing to take the crown. Luke doesn’t believe he’s any of that, because all his life he’s referred as the “little one,” the “just-in-case” child. He doesn’t like to take pride in who he is because honestly, he was just the back-up. Without you, he reverts back to the ghost of a man who’s merely roaming the castle halls due to an unfortunate curse that left him rotting for nothing on the kingdom’s prized palace.

Yeah sure, throughout his life he was spoiled and tended to the most since he’s the youngest, but those are its only perks. He’s not the “most prized” son nor the “exemplary” son and specifically he’s not the firstborn. He’s just Luke, the next son to inherit the throne unfortunately. Luke was never the chosen son to rule the kingdom. He was never worthy of wielding the the staff his father, and his father’s father, and his father’s father’s father held in their hands to this day. He was the last born, so obviously he never really had a chance at power from the start. Clearly, he doesn’t deserve it now.

So yeah, Luke may be loved to some degree, but he certainly doesn’t feel its warm embrace unless it’s with you.

Luke remembers that day so vividly. That day he found you in the castle garden.

What a mess of a day that was though. Not only was it the day he found about them and all the duties of being a king, but it was also the day of the annual ball his family threw. In between meetings with the neighboring kingdom, he went through fittings after fittings to ensure his suit was as sleek and form fitting as it’s supposed to be. Luke didn’t care though.

God, why should he care?

Third born son, and now he’s next in line to the throne. What kind of bullshit were they throwing at Luke? He didn’t care, okay, but still, he had the right to be angry.

When he exited the castle to cool off and heard voices from the outside, he was so annoyed from his previous activities that he couldn’t be bothered with anyone. All day he’d been told “Luke this. Luke that” and all he wanted to do was nap. Luke hadn’t eaten all day, except those handful of grapes he stole from the kitchen for breakfast because he was in a rush to get to the first meeting since he woke up late. He couldn’t text you in between (and during) meetings because his phone was dead since he forgot to plug his phone to his charger after he called you last night, telling you that he made it home safe. He didn’t sleep well because he was too busy thinking about you and how much trouble he would be in for sneaking out to your house to watch the stars with the telescope he bought you for your last birthday.

You still were paying him back as we speak, because a telescope? That’s way too expensive for you. You would have preferred new scented candles because there was a sale in the village, but Luke, being the affluent, yet compassionate person he is, decided you deserved something much more grand for that year’s birthday. What you don’t know is that each cent you pay back, Luke just adds it to his funds of ‘make (y/n) happy’ list. But that’s none of your business so let’s get back to the day of the ball.

“Petunia! No, stop!” you laughed as the puppy happily jumped on your lap. She slobbered kisses on you until you laid on the ground. The melody of your laughter rang throughout the garden. Such a lovely sound. It was Luke’s favorite thing to hear. Although he loved the sound, his body froze and his annoyance dissipated from him and was replaced with anxiety.

Fuck, Luke thought. What were you doing here? Wait, why was Petunia not inside?

Before opening the gates to the garden, he hid behind the wall to listen to your conversation with his pet.

“Oh, Petunia,” you sighed as the once full of energy pup laid beside you. “You’re such a silly girl. If Luke found you, you would be in so much trouble, but since it’s just me, you’re off the hook,” you booped her nose with playfulness. You continued petting her and rubbing her sides, while humming a tune.

A butterfly flew past and you were in bliss. Nothing could ruin your contentment for those few seconds. You were too busy reminiscing on last night’s stargazing with Luke to hear his grumble from behind the garden gates.

Oh late nights with Luke. What a treasure they were. It’s a bit selfish of you to say but you wish you could keep Luke like that with you, always. He was always so stressed and tired from his duties of being a prince, but when it was just with you, oh what a sight he was. He was so relaxed and untroubled. Lately though, he’s been a little less relaxed and a little more preoccupied, but he still appreciates his time spent with you. He won’t tell you this, but anywhere with you is his favorite place.

If you daydreamed long enough, you could still feel his arms wrapped around you and how he rested his head atop yours. You could still feel him press a kiss to your hair. You could feel the heat radiate off his body and warm you after the late night chilly breeze. If you reminisced long enough, you could relive the moments before he left back for the castle. God, you hoped you were able to veil all the fear, but also affection in your eyes as Luke jumped from your one-story roof. Every second you were with him, you were scared that he would know your secret and he would run away, but you also hoped that the feelings you had for him were mutual. I mean, they had to be if he snuck out from the castle, day and night time, just to get away from the crown, just for a bit and be a regular boy with you, if he took you to the animal shelter and helped him choose Petunia, if he bought you a telescope because he remembered you raving about how you loved to watch the stars, if he lets you play with his hair, if he lets you have the password to his phone and laptop, if he kisses your head and shoulders whenever he’s given the chance, if he instinctively reaches for your hands and fingers when you’re sitting next to each other, if he traces a heart on your knee and your palm. I mean the feelings had to be reciprocated, right? Actions speak louder than words, right?

You interrupted the serenity of your reverie with the words, “I think I’m going to tell him tonight. Or wait, maybe - No, I am definitely doing it.” You laughed at yourself because you were simply talking to yourself despite Petunia’s presence, but then Luke’s large body hit the gate entrance to the garden.

It wasn’t until then Luke could feel the erratic beat of his heart thrumming against his chest. He heard how fond and wondrous your voice was. He saw the look in your eyes of determination but also of softness and something full of love, maybe? He couldn’t tell; you’ve never been in love before so who’s to say that was a look of love and admiration?

But, God, what were you going to confess? And to who?

Petunia’s head shot up, looking for the site that caused the clammer. When she saw Luke, she pounced towards him with a wide smile as he opened the gates and headed towards your direction.

He offered you a smile and wave, while you returned a smile and mouthed a ‘hello’ back to him.

Before he reached you, he squatted down to pet his dog. He enveloped her in cuddles as Petunia peppered his face with slobbery kisses. He began to chuckle as Petunia joyfully jumped around as he opened his arms from the hug. His elbows perched against the garden floor as he watched her look back for between himself and you with a wide smile and happy pep to her steps. Luke closed his eyes with contentment, just enjoying the soft breeze and warmth of the sun. Just a small interaction with his dog and the weight of today’s trouble slipped off his shoulders. He almost forgot about your presence after being involved with Petunia’s antics but then he heard you stifle a laugh from the side. He could hear the gravel move and the grass crunch each step you took to get closer to him.

“Well, hello there, Your Royal Highness,” you teased with a dramatic bow.

Luke groaned at your actions. “(Y/N)... why? You know I hate that.”

You laughed at his complaint. Before speaking, you crouched beside him. “I mean it’s not my fault you’re from royal blood,” you joked.

“Yeah, but - I- ugh,” he struggled.

“Hey, I’m just messing with you. No need to get all flustered, but you okay? You look really tired and more stressed than usual,” you worried.

Oh shit, Luke thought. Should he tell you now? They were announcing it at the ball tonight. Screw it.

You beat Luke to it as you spoke, “You know what you need?”

“What do I need (Y/N)?” Luke rolled his eyes.

“You need a neck massage. And a glass of orange juice maybe, because you look dead,” you smiled. “Come on, get up now big boy. We’ve got a lot to talk about. Or well, I guess more you so than me.” You stood and began tugging Luke’s arm to get his body up from the ground.

“But (Y/N) I don’t wanna… Can’t I just enjoy the sunshine and the breeze for a bit longer?”

“Ugh, fine. C’mere though.”

You sat on the ground again and Luke rested his head in your lap. You instinctively ran your hands through his golden curls, while he hummed with eyes closed.

“We’re best friends, right?” you whispered to him.

Too busy enjoying the feel of your hands, he missed your words. Luke opened his eyes when you removed your hands. A scrunch sketched itself to his face. Why’d you stop playing with his hair?

You timidly stared at the growing flowers beside you in the grass. Fuck, he didn’t hear you. Okay maybe you shouldn’t tell him.

“Hey,” he nudged. You broke your stare and focused back on to Luke. He reached for your hand and interlaced your fingers together. “I love you.”

You bashfully grinned as he pressed a kiss to your knuckles. You replied softly, “And I love you, my sweet prince.” 

That last part got caught in the wind though, so now, it’s just you and Mother Earth’s little secret.

In that moment, everything felt okay again. Luke felt okay again. He forgot about his responsibilities for a bit and that was fine by him. He was with his favorite person and nothing could ever top that.

Luke won’t admit it but he still remembers every day, every hour, every minute, every second he’s spent with you. Whether it be at the castle or at the garden or the outskirts of the kingdom by the river, he treasured every moment.

He is still reliving the night of the ball in his head.

Just after the announcement and all the pat on the shoulders and clinking of drinks and ‘congratulations’ thrown at him, he was exhausted. The party was alive, but Luke wasn’t, or well, physically he was. His body seeked the night sky to soothe his headache from all the socializing and sleep deprivation. The stars always brought some solace to Luke whether it be a stormy head or a stormy night. He admired the picturesque twinkling lights, but it was mainly due to you.

Staring at the night sky was your thing, but since introducing it more to Luke, he’s always done it. He likes to think that maybe when he’s looking at the stars, you are too. And sometimes he thinks that maybe when you’re looking at the stars and moon, you think about him as he thinks about you. You’re his sun, moon, and stars, but he won’t admit that to you. Well maybe, not just yet.

He still thinks about the night picnic you planned during springtime (it was many weeks before the royal announcement). That day he saw hope of a future and not a faux one too.

He mainly just remembers you rambling on and on about god knows what, but he didn’t mind. He always enjoyed when you talked. He liked your voice.

He’s also pretty sure he ate almost all the food you prepared while you kept explaining how school slowly became your death. You didn’t mind though because you ate a bit before meeting him, so everything was made specially for him. His heart swooned when you said that, because you cared so much about him and he never felt that specific endearment before.

Okay, he sort of lied earlier, but he doesn’t exactly remember how it went from you complaining about your life to you laying on his lap and watching the stars. But then you felt a bug crawling on your arm and you immediately sat up and ran away from that area on the picnic blanket. While you were in hysterics, Luke was laughing at you.

“I hate you. So. Fucking. Much” you slapped his shoulder.

Luke continued laughing.

This is another part where Luke gets lost in his head and forgets the moments that lead up to this. He just remembers the seconds before and the moments during. Those are the most significant in his head.

You were laying against him and Luke had his arms stretched out behind his body so you two don’t topple onto the ground. You were watching the sky tessellate, but a gusty breeze rustled Luke’s hair. You began laughing at Luke because he looked like a mess, but a pretty mess that had tousled hair everywhere.

You delicately untangled his mess of curls, careful to not pull any hairs and make more knots. He watched your face as you fixed his hair. He liked how careful you are with him, how you treated him so well and so kindly, how you looked in the moonlight, how you bit your lip as you concentrated and god, he wanted to kiss those lips of yours.

You finished untangling his hair, but you didn’t move back to your original position. You pushed some of Luke’s curls behind his ear, just so you could admire his face more. As you retracted your hand, your fingers softly brushed his cheeks and he trapped your hand there. He held your hand there for a moment before pressing a kiss to your palm. But soon after, he put your hand back to where it once was so it cupped his jaw. He looked at you so intimately and intensely with a gentle smile you thought your heart would burst from how fast it beat in your chest.

Your breath hitched when you saw Luke’s eyes scan your face and stopped briefly to look at your mouth just a couple seconds longer.

“(Y/N)?” Luke whispered.

“Yeah,” you replied breathlessly.

“Can I kiss you?” he requested.

You were in too much of a shock to register Luke shifting so he was sitting up straighter so he could rest his forehead against yours. “Princess, please answer me. I need to know,” he begged.

You mumbled a yes before closing your eyes and leaning in just enough so your noses brush.

Fuck, Luke thought. Is this really happening? Am I dreaming?

Luke brushed his lips against yours and you let out a whimper. Your thumb rubbed against his cheek, just as a reassurance that this was real and this was about to happen.

And then, it happened.

Luke’s lips pressed against yours in the most delicious and delicate way. Firm enough to feel your lips fully, but soft enough for you to pull away. Then you did something he didn’t expect, which was kiss him back.

You smiled into the kiss as Luke began to properly kiss your mouth. You loved the feel of Luke’s lips against yours and how your bodies responded to one another. You were so entranced with his lips that you didn’t realize how you subconsciously moved so you were straddling his hips and your hands rested on his shoulders that were starting to snake to his neck and hair. Luke’s hands gripped your hips as if instinct. You shifted your position a little so you could get closer to Luke, but a loud groan escaped his lips, and you pulled back immediately.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Fuck, Luke, oh my god I just-” and your words died down at the sounds of Luke’s raspy laughter. Your eyebrows knitted together. “Why are you laughing? Luke, this is serious.”

But Luke couldn’t stop laughing. You were so pure and cute.

“Baby, you did nothing wrong,” he finally responded.

He watched your face contort from annoyance to confusion. “What do you mean ‘nothing’s wrong’? I literally heard you groan. I must have hurt you somehow.”

He chuckled at your innocence. “Nope, ya didn’t hurt me.” His eyes were shining with stars and he couldn’t believe that just happened. He couldn’t believe he just kissed his best friend. God knows how long he’s been waiting to do that. “Okay, maybe a little bit but in a good way.”

“In a good way? Luke, what the fuck are you on?”

“I mean it felt good.”

“Oh” Heat spread across your cheeks.

A muffled ‘mhmm’ came from Luke as he nuzzled his head into your neck. He pressed his lips at the junction between your collarbone and neck. You could feel his stubble rub against your neck and you let a whine.

Your eyes widened with fear. Was that supposed to happen? Oh shit, what the fuck is wrong with me?

“Just like that, baby. That’s what it felt like,” Luke smirked.

Screw the castle. Screw the announcement. Screw the throne. Screw everything. Luke just wanted you, but he knows that dreams don’t always come true.

But sometimes Luke cherishes the memories a little too much. Sometimes he forgets the past is the past and he is living in the present.

It’s been a week since the ball and nothing has really changed in the castle.

Luke stumbled down the stairs and noisily entered the dining hall. His hair was disheveled still, obvious that he just woke up. By the time he reached his seat, he was sure he was going to pass out.

He’s never ran that fast before. Okay, that’s a lie. There was this one time where he chased you and he tripped and you were too busy laughing so beautifully with the sun enchanting your figure for him to scowl and throw a snarky remark at you.

Once finally catching his breath, he greeted, “Good morning, Father, Mother.”

The look of disapproval on the queen’s face shut his mouth, but the king was quieting his chuckles at his unkempt son. “You’re late,” the queen remarked.

“I know, Mother. I can ex-”

“I don’t want to hear it” the queen interrupted. Luke didn’t understand why his mother was so upset. He’s been late to breakfast before, so what’s so different about today’s?

Then he saw you and his eyes nearly flew out of his skull. The memories of last night were fresh on his mind again.

Luke won’t admit it to you, but one look at you and he can still feel your fingers caressing his face from the night before. He can still feel your lips on his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, his forehead, his palm, but most of all, he can still feel your petal soft lips on his and how you always try to stop smiling in between kisses, but you can’t help yourself, so you pull away and rest your forehead on his, with eyes still closed and a toothy grin on your face. And when you open your eyes, he swears to god that he can see the universe in your eyes. He’s overwhelmed with this deep emotion of adoration and contentment and he wonders, is this what it’s like to be in love?

Luke won’t admit it, but if he asks you who your best friend is, he hopes you lie and say it’s someone else. Because then it would hurt less and the pain would be easier to manage, knowing you weren’t as deeply invested as he was.

But he knows that’s not true. He sees it in your eyes and your smile and the way you brush hair out of his face when you both lie in the meadow by the river along the outskirts of the kingdom. He sees it in the crooked grin on your face when Petunia always jumps on him after he’s spent the day with you. He feels it in the way you rest your head on his shoulder when you’re stargazing during your late night picnics in the castle garden. He feels it in the way you always choke a sigh after he bids you farewell and good night with a forehead kiss. He hears it in the way you laugh at his terrible puns and his awful jokes. Most of all, he hears it in the way you playfully retort an “I hate you” to him when he’s being a little shit, because he knows you don’t mean it one bit, not at all. He knows that it’s the opposite and that’s why it hurts to much and that’s why he has yet to confess to you.

The queen’s eyes held so much rage in them. You were afraid to interject and explain what happened. Luke, however, was too much in shock of seeing you there, present at the dining table in the broad daylight.

“Actually, Luke, I would love for you to explain to me on what’s going on between the two of you. Last time I checked, you were betrothed,” Luke’s mother spat.

Betrothed? He’s fucking betrothed. You mentally noted. 

How did you not know that though? I mean, hello, there was a ball and an announcement.

“I- um- uh- they’re my -” Luke stuttered.

“They’re what, Luke? Hmm?” the queen passively retaliated.

You stood from your seat, not caring how rude you were being to the royal family. You couldn’t bear being in this room any further. You announced, “I’m so sorry for the interruption, Your Highness, but I believe this is a conversation I shouldn’t be present for. This is one that is much more private and none of my concern. I thank you for your hospitality and I apologize for the intrusion I’ve held in your lives. Please, excuse me, Your Majesty and Your Highness.”

“You’re excused, (Y/N). Please forgive me for my rude behavior,” the queen said smugly.

However, there is one thing Luke will admit and tell you, and it’s that you’re his best friend and he loves you so goddamn much, but he’s sorry he didn’t tell you sooner.

a/n - feedback is always appreciated :-) thank you x