#sorry like

“I know, it’s a terrible thing,” Mary lamented. “The doctors say it was a heart attack…It all happened so quickly.”

“Oh my God,” Ralph couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. Felix hadn’t told him anything. “How–how is Felix taking all this?”

“Well that’s partly why I called you, dear,” Mary’s voice trembled. “He won’t leave the house… Folks have come by with food and sympathy cards and it’s all just piling up by the door…”

Ralph's heart sank as she went on. Felix was struggling, and he wasn’t there.

“Oh Ralph, I managed to get him to open the door for me briefly and he looked like he’d lost weight…I don’t think he’s eating.”

“Shit…” he knew Felix didn’t grieve well, but this was far worse than he’d ever imagined.

“You two have always been so close,” Mary said tearfully. “I thought maybe if you call him, he’ll answer. He just needs to talk to somebody– Oh, I don’t know what to do…”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Ralph reassured her. “Thank you for telling me, I’ll try and get in touch with him right now, okay?”

“Okay,” the woman sniffed. “Thank you.”

Mary hung up, and immediately Ralph dialed Felix’s cellphone, which went straight to voicemail.

“Come on…” Ralph bit his lower lip as he tried the house phone. It rang, and rang until the voicemail picked up. A lump caught in his throat as Felix Sr. prompted him to leave a message.

“Hey…” he said solemnly after the beep. “I–uh…I just got the news that your dad passed away. I’m so sorry, I wish I was there…”

Ralph gulped, finding the next words to stay. He held onto the hope that Felix was listening.

“Felix, please…Please call me back when you can. I’m worried about you. Love you, bud…”

Those last words hung heavy in his throat as he disconnected and closed his phone. Steadying himself, he took in a couple calming breaths. This was a problem, and the solution was clear. Strengthening his resolve, Ralph removed and tossed aside his hard hat as he turned to leave.

Vanellope jumped as she heard someone unlock and burst through the hotel room door. Craning her neck, she saw Ralph in the entryway, removing his reflector vest.

“Uhh, hi–” she said, turning off the gangster movie she’d been watching. “You’re back early.”

“Pack your things, we gotta go,” he replied, grabbing his duffel and shoving his clothes inside.

“Why?” the girl tilted her head. “Did you get fired again?”

“No, I–uh…I resigned. Sort of.”

“What’s going on?” Vanellope asked nervously, noticing her guardian’s flustered state.

Ralph paused what he was doing, and let out a sigh. Dropping his bag, he knelt in front of the girl as she sat on the edge of her mattress.

“Kid…” he placed his hand on her shoulder. “Senior passed away.”

Vanellope’s eyes went wide, and in a rare occurrence, she was at a loss for words. It didn’t make any sense; he seemed just fine when they’d left.

“Oh, kid,” Ralph hugged the girl as tears began to surface. “I know, it’s sad…” Getting misty-eyed himself, he let her cry things out.

“Wh–what about Felix?” she asked between hitched breaths. “Is he o-okay?”

“He’s taking it really hard…That’s why we’re leaving; so we can go be with him. I think that’d be good for all of us, yeah?”

“Yeah,” the girl nodded, wiping her tears with her sleeve.

“You good?”

“Mhm,” Vanellope hopped off the bed and packed her things between sniffles.

A long night-shift included, it took the pair roughly a day and a half to get back home to their small hometown of Niceland. Ralph had tried calling Felix periodically throughout the trip, without any luck.

The large man sighed, nervously gripping the steering wheel with both hands. He looked down at Vanellope sleeping soundly in the passenger’s seat as he turned to park in front of the tiny office building of ‘“Fix-It” Felix Handy Repairs.’ Leaving the girl briefly, Ralph tried the front door. A small bell jingled as he opened it.

“Ralph!” a short, middle-aged woman gasped as she peered over her desktop computer.

“Hey, Mary,” he gave her a tired smile. “Surprise!”

“Oh my word!” she couldn’t help but get emotional. Rounding the desk, Mary gave him a hug. “When I called you, I didn’t expect you to come back all this way…Oh I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”

“No, no, it’s all good,” Ralph wasn’t quite sure what to do with his hands, resigning to an awkward pat on the woman’s back. “I couldn’t get a hold of Felix either so I figured this would be best. Is…is it alright if you watch Vanellope while I go check on him? I just–I don’t know what I’m about to walk into.”

“Oh of course, of course!” Mary nodded emphatically. “Anything you need!”

Ralph gently brought the sleeping girl inside and placed her on the couch across from Mary’s desk, thanking her before leaving. --

Taking a deep breath, Ralph parked parallel to the curb of the Felix residence. Stepping up to the porch, he saw what Mary had been talking about. Dried up flowers and various bags and containers of food sat neglected on the handyman’s doorstep, along with a quilt of various sympathy cards laying across the welcome mat.

Pushing the items aside, Ralph pulled out his copy of the house key and cautiously opened the door.

“Felix?” he called out, stepping into a quiet living room. Peering into the kitchen, he spotted piles of old dishes sitting on the counter and overwhelming the sink.

Nervous, Ralph called out again. Stepping into the hallway, he took notice of the partially opened door to Senior’s room.

“Felix?” Ralph questioned as he entered. His eyes went straight to the bed, a lump lying underneath the blankets.

He walked over to the far side of the bed frame, and leaned over to find Felix nestled among the pillows and sheets, staring into space.

Gently, Ralph moved to sit on the edge of the mattress, extending a hand and placing it on the handyman’s side.

“Hey,” he said softly.

As if broken from a trance, Felix’s eyes met his.

“Ralph?” he rasped, sitting up. His eyes grew wide with realization. “W-what are you doing here?”

As the smaller man unfurled himself from the bed linens, Ralph’s eyes darted around his petite frame. He was pale, and his white undershirt hung more loosely on his torso than usual.

“I uh–” Ralph cleared his throat. “Mary told me what happened…”

The handyman flinched, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. But despite his efforts, Felix completely fell apart. Clinging to Ralph, he sobbed.

“I’m so sorry,” he croaked. “I should have told you what was going on…I just…I couldn’t—”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Ralph wrapped his arms around his friend, holding him tightly. “It’s okay…”

“It all happened so fast…”

“I know.”

Ralph had only been gone a month for the new construction job he got the next state over. It was humbling, being reminded how quickly things can change. Which was why he was so glad he’d dropped everything to be here, right now, holding his grieving friend tight.

When Felix calmed down, Ralph slowly pulled away, brushing his fingers along the handyman’s thin arms.

“Have you eaten lately?” he asked without judgment; nodding slowly when his friend didn’t answer.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty hungry,” Ralph encouraged Felix to stand up. “Let’s see what we can scrounge up.”

In truth, he wasn’t hungry at all, but he knew the handyman would respond better to fulfilling someone else's needs other than his own. With some gentle coaxing, they moved into the dining area attached to the kitchen.

“Here,” the larger man pulled a chair out and sat the small man down. He was too frail at the moment to stand for long periods of time. “Sit here, I’ll see what we’ve got to work with.”

As Felix sat with a glass of water, Ralph took a closer look at the state of things. The fridge had a scant few items inside, some of which were now expired. In the cupboards were some canned goods, and moldy bread. Ralph grabbed a fresh packet of pasta atop one of the pantry shelves and said a little prayer as he stepped into the adjacent room to look in the chest freezer, where batch meals and ice creams were generally stocked.

With a smile, he located and pulled out a container of the ‘Fix-It’ family’s homemade spaghetti sauce. Senior had always made sure to keep at least a batch of it frozen at any time, “just in case.”

Placing the tupperware in the microwave, Ralph set it to defrost before rolling up his sleeves to tackle the pile of dishes in the sink. Occasionally, he looked from the sudsy water in front of him to Felix, who simply sat, staring at the empty placemat in front of him.

When the microwave beeped, the large man dried his hands, grabbing a couple of clean pots and filling the larger one with water. Soon enough, he had the sauce simmering on one burner, and a handful of pasta boiling on the other.

Having finished with the dishes, Ralph kneeled beside Felix’s chair.

“It’ll be about 15 more minutes,” he said, not even sure the handyman was listening. “Do you want to try and take a shower before we eat?”

Felix nodded subtly.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, acknowledging everything that Ralph was doing for him.

“No problem, bud. Come on,” he helped the handyman to the bathroom, supplying him with fresh towels and clothes.

“Don’t lock the door. If I don’t hear from you by time dinner’s ready, I am coming in,” Ralph instructed, giving his friend fair warning.

“Okay,” Felix mumbled, closing the door, leaving it open just a smidge.

Ralph had just put Senior’s bed linens in the wash when Felix returned to the dining room, refreshed. He shuffled into the kitchen to grab some clean silverware, pausing in the middle of his task.

“Where’s Vanellope?” the handyman asked.

“Mary’s watching her,” Ralph said, relieved that the fog clouding his friend’s mind was beginning to clear. “We’ll save her some and pick her up later.”

Felix nodded, and a sudden bout of dizziness struck him. One of his hands reached out to the counter for support, and Ralph caught on quickly, wrapping an arm around the handyman’s waist as he stumbled.

“Hey, you need to sit down,” Ralph held the smaller man steady as he moved him back in his seat. “You can set our places from here.”

“S-sorry…” Felix said tearily, ashamed that he’d let his health slip this far.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Ralph reassured just before the kitchen timer buzzed. Within a few minutes, he was back at the table, steaming plates of spaghetti in hand.

“Dig in,” he said, sitting down and grabbing his fork. In the amount of time it took to make dinner, Ralph had worked up an appetite. He only hoped his friend would be just as receptive to the meal placed in front of him.

Felix took a few laborious bites, eyes brimming with tears as he chewed. Ralph looked on with sympathy, reaching a hand out when the handyman stopped completely.

“I know it’s hard,” He smoothed a thumb over his friend’s wrist. “Keep trying.”

With a bit more effort, Felix managed to eat at least half of his portion before stopping again, placing a hand over his mouth as he leaned on his elbow, looking away.

“Why don’t we save this and go pick up the kid,” Ralph suggested, taking the handyman’s bowl.

Vanellope must have seen or heard the truck pulling up to the office, as she had thrown open its front door by the time Ralph put it in park. And in seeing her, Felix had grown frantic, fumbling with his seat belt.

Ralph undid the buckle for him, and reached over to open the door. The handyman spilled out of the vehicle, kneeling on the curbside just in time to wrap the girl running to him in a tight embrace. “Felix!”

“Oh princess…” The handyman sobbed. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Vanellope mirrored his emotions. “I’m—I’m sorry about your dad.”

Mary stood in the office doorway, quickly pulling out a handkerchief to dry her own face. Even Ralph’s eyes were wetted by the pair's tearful reunion.

--

The day had been long for the three of them, Felix and Vanellope succumbing to slumber early in the evening, however, the handyman awoke in the middle of the night with a start.

Sitting up in bed, he tried to get rid of the dryness in his mouth, grabbing for the glass of water on the nightstand. Downing the last couple of sips left, the handyman sighed, fighting against the fatigue to pull himself up to get some more.

Felix was halfway down the hall when a small whimper met his ear, followed by a sniffle. Peering into the living room, he spotted Ralph’s silhouette perched on the couch, bathed in moonlight. The large man’s slumped shoulders quivered as he held his face, more soft sobs piercing the otherwise quiet atmosphere.

The handyman slowly approached, startling his friend when he was spotted just beyond the coffee table. Ralph looked up at him, cheeks wet with tears he quickly began wiping away. Silently, Felix closed the distance, climbing onto the couch to lean on his friend and hold his large hand.

“I’m sorry,” the handyman whispered. “You were being strong for Vanellope and I today. That must have been hard… I know how much he meant to you.”

Try as he might, there was no stopping the gentle flow that poured from the corners of his eyes. Senior was the closest thing Ralph ever had to a father figure. In a town full of people who judged him for his upbringing, or for the way that he looked; when he became friends with Felix, Senior showered him with love and compassion from day one. In their home, Ralph always felt welcome; like he belonged.

“I wish I was here…” he sobbed. “I wish I never took that stupid construction job.Then maybe…Maybe—”

“Ralph, there’s nothing you could have done.”

“But at least I would have been here for you sooner. I hate thinking of you being alone in his house, for days, while I was off helping some rich assholes put up another shitty shopping mall.”

“Language, Ralphie,” Felix smiled, recounting those two words as something his father would have to say very often. Despite his emotions, Ralph couldn’t help but laugh.

“God,” the large man sniffled as another wave of sadness washed over him. “I’m going to miss that.”

“There’s a lot of things to miss about dad,” Felix nodded. “And I don’t know if this makes any sense, but now that you and Vanellope are here…he doesn’t feel so far away.

Ralph smiled, squeezing his friend's hand, understanding what he meant. He felt it too.

“I am sorry you quit your job though. You were being paid well.”

“I’ll find something else,” Ralph shrugged. “You know me, I always manage to get by. Right now, I just wanna be home…”

Felix leaned his head on the larger man’s shoulder, feeling blessed to have a friend like Ralph for times like this. Someone to lean on, to grieve with, to listen. There were many ways in which “Fix-It” Senior lived on in him; in all of them. Subtle, yet unmistakable ways that only they would know and perceive. His was a presence that would be missed, but never be truly gone; as long as they were together.