#sooooooo everything

POOR MAPICC RIGHT?? it gets worse

"i loved you truly.. gotta laugh at the stupidity" Oh oh ohhh sweet mapicc oh bbay oh babyyyy. AND SPOKE SUCKING MAPICC DRY OF EVERYTHING that sounds weird but u get it ksadkal

MINUTE MINUTE MINUTEEE Minute leaving spke and mapicc staying.. and not stopping spoke from the end invasion bc what could he do but go along with his partner.... and "how do you lie without flinching" is so mapicc to me because he gave his LIFE to spoke. he gave his EVERYTHING to spoke :((( and spoke just lied anyway. mapicc feels absolutely betrayed by that because like being transparent is like one of the most importantt thigns in a relationship to mapicc so its liuke. spoke cant even do that?? He sacrifieced his whole fucking life and spoke cant even do the bare minimum?

this part. mapicc feels like it was all one sided and spoke only kept mape around so that mape could be of use to spoke

THIS PART

You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? You can't love anyone 'cause that would mean you had a heart

mape going for a low blow. He KNEW spoke had a hard time loving people, but he just cnvinced himself that that was fine, because spoke did his best! See the image below from my webweave:

and see the quoes below from my wip fic where lifesteal spoke tries to tear his code apart and die for real:

[Jamato's section] "The longer he spends reconstructing, the more sure he is that Spoke has a giant hole in the middle of him, right where his Player Center should be. Maybe it’s where the truth of the End Poem is supposed to go, maybe it’s where love is supposed to be."

[Ash's section]

Sorry side tangent. BASICLAYY: Mapicc loves spoke and he isnt too worried if spoke doesnt express love in the same way, until it bevcomes apparent that spoke doesnt just have an inability to love mapicc in the way mapicc loves him, but actively acts like he hates mapicc (because only someone who HATES him would act so cruelly and lie so long). spoke swears it up and down that he cares about mapicc and loves him but thats IMPOSSIBLE. spoke cannot love mapicc, and him trying to act like he does is PART OF THE PROBELMM!! Spoke youre lying more!!

(I know this seems like headcanon but the lack of a player center is literally just mental illness. spoek is mentally ill.)

Mapicc loves spoke but its not enough. and he cant make himself stop. its suhc a heartbreaking fucking dichotomy because like. its obsession, in the two extremes. Mapicc cant make himself stop loving spoke, and spoke cant make himself love mapicc. LIKE DO YOU GET IT. i sound crazy. Spoke cares yeha but he cares in a nonnormal way and he thinks ppl will leave if he tries to love them like this so he tries to squish himself into 'normal' love and it just makes everything so so so SO much worse.

and so mapicc (/olivia) makes a low blow and say "you cant love anyone cuz that would mean u have a heart" and its not true, spoke COULD love people, just in a different way than normal. But spoke himself acts like its impossible to love if you arent loving like how society says you should, so mapicc is like "you cant fucking love anyone and i was so incredibly stupid to try and let you love Me". DO YOU GET IT!?!?!!?!\

NTO EVEN TO MENTION THE NEXT LINE

I tried to help you out, now I know that I can't 'Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand

MAPICC DOESNT UDNMERSTAND SPOKE!!! And he tried for TWO YEARS to convince spoke that you dont need to be perfect to be worthy of living, worthy of being loved, and then he Gave Up. he gave up. because spoke apparently wasnt even trying. And hell never understand.