#sooo silly

projecting it onto simon right now 📡📡📡

he thought he did something wrong at first, you always call him “honey” or “baby” or “darling” or— you get it, over text. practically half of your vocabulary when you text him is a petname, but the moment he gets you on a call he’s always “simon” or “si” to you and it drives him downright insane.

did he forget to turn off the stove before leaving? forget to close the fridge door? forgot your anniversary— like hell he’d do that! so what was it?

he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place here. you don’t look like you’re mad at him (not like you’re ever really mad at him), and he’d rather pull out his own teeth than ask you about it so he’s just suffering in silence, not able to hear you say all those sweet pet names in person.

but it gets to a point, a man could only take so much before he breaks. he asks you about it over text, yes, not in person he has his limits.

ok! i’ll see you soon honey!! (❁´▽`❁) love youuuuu

wait. lovie, i have to ask you something

? yes baby?

why do you never call me pet names in person?

it takes you a little bit to respond, the three bubbles popping up and disappearing over and over. it makes him anxious, god— him. simon riley, who can stare down death itself without even flinching but is now anxiously awaiting his partner’s response to his question about pet names of all things.

what have you done to him? (you are the greatest thing that happened to him.)

the little ding! snaps him out of his anxious ruminating.

haha well i guess it’s just

i think my accent makes it sound weird 😭😭

oh. so that’s what it was. well— that can’t fly anymore, not that he knows about it now. he calls you immediately, of course, desperate to hear you call him something sweet finally.

he’d get on his knees (even if you couldn’t see him) and beg for you to call him anything you desired, anything please— just let him hear you.

“sim—“ you try and start, a little startled at the sudden call.

“none o’ tha lovie, call me something else— please.”

“but i think it’d sound weird—“ he’d do anything to prove you otherwise, anything at all.

“no! no— you won’t you’ll sound great, lemme hear ya dove, please.” he’s never sounded this desperate before.

“ok! ok, fine! simon, bubby, my honey, my dearest… uhm… my love, my darling…ba— baby… …okimdoneloveyoubye!!!”

there’s a very uncharacteristic lovestruck look on his face when you hang up. you sounded absolutely lovely to him. he could die a happy, happy man after that.

you sounded amazing lovie ❤️

wow. simon actually sent an emoji? he’s dead serious about it, huh? wild. but a man in love is a changed one as they say.

really? (๑º ﾛ º๑)

you’re so cute to him. downright adorable actually. he wants to hear you call him all those sweet things for the rest of his life. he needs to get you a ring asap.

yes lovie, really.

would i ever lie to you?

call me all those things when you see me in person, ok? love you. see you soon.

!!!!!!yay!!!!!!!

ok love you baby!!!!!! see you later!!!! (ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ c)♡

guys I think he's up to something,,

bonus silly :

Here’s yours @dustbunnyzonyay!! I made them soooooo silly.

Also TKO is there!