Today was our final day at the Somerset. J woke up early to pack. The Somerset gave us late checkout so we had time to go to the beach. Unfortunately it was a red flag day again, so S stayed at the pool. J checked out the beach and immediately returned to the pool. J splurged as this was our last day in the Turks and had 2 pina coladas. We decided we had to do one last walk on the beach before we left beautiful Grace Bay. We had a nice walk all the way down to a pier and decided that was the place to head back. On our way back, we finally heard it, Bob Marley being played by one of the beach DJs at a neighbouring resort. After much concern, this finally proved our theory, that every cool holiday destination from Africa to the Indian Ocean to the Caribbean has to play Bob Marley. We went 17 days without hearing any, including being denied a Bob Marley request, but our faith in humanity was restored.

Checkout was pretty straightforward and S blagged himself into getting 2 rum punches at checkout. He mentioned that the hotel should serve rum punches at checkout so people can be reminded about how nice it is to be on holiday and be more likely to return. Everyone is always happy to arrive on holiday, no one is happy to leave, so a farewell rum punch is a nice touch.

We were collected by the regular driver, Adrian. Our check-in at the airport was pretty poor. We were in economy as First Class was sold out. Despite the fact that our total luggage was within the weight limit, the check-in desk ladies actually made us move around our luggage to redistribute 12 pounds of luggage from the ‘Beast’, J’s large bag. This was even though S has platinum status and has flown around 2 million miles with American. This redistribution also unfortunately caught the eye of an airport security guy, who decided to pull J into a small, windowless room and go through every item in the Beast. When S tried to comment, the security guy made J shut the door so S couldn’t see what was going on. To be fair, other hapless tourists were also subjected to this ‘random screening’, including a lady who had been at the airport gate and had to return to this windowless room for screening. It was a very unpleasant experience, even though the security guy ended up closing up all of J’s packing cubes and repacking J’s bag better than she had packed it.

We got through security fairly quickly and headed to the only bar in the airport. On the way to the bar, we decided to stop at a gift shop which was selling Hawaiian shirts. S ended up finding a great shirt. It was made of light cotton, red, had parrots on it and was 50% off. The 50% off was the clincher, so S bought it.

After a short wait on the tarmac, we boarded our 39th flight of this trip.

When we arrived in passport control in Miami, we tried to hand over our passports. The passport control guy told us not to and just told us to look in the camera. The facial recognition identified us and we were waved through. This would be a sobering experience for anyone who is weary of Big Brother as they knew who we were and didn’t even need our passport to let us into the country.

It took ages for our baggage to arrive in baggage claim. S’ sister M and JT picked us up and took us to M’s house. S’ brother, D, D’s girlfriend and S’ parents were waiting for us at M’s house. They had grilled up some nice dogs for dinner. After dinner, we headed to the hot tub and had a nice chat. It was a fun evening.

We went to the beach today, but a red flag was up and the beach was not as calm as it had been. The rough waters agitated the seaweed, which was now accumulating on the beach and in the water. The water was somewhat cold, so we only went in the water once and didn’t spend much time in the water.

We decided to have a look around the gift shop at the Palms next door. It was very touristy and over-priced. They didn’t have any Hawaiian shirts, so we didn’t end up buying anything.

We came back to the pool and saw Adam and Michaela. Adam decided that he couldn’t sleep in his newly braided hair and he was going to have all the braids and beads removed. We also met an interesting guy who used to work at Wirecard, the disgraced German payments company that went impressively belly up over accounting fraud. It turns out that he worked in their Singapore office and was mates with the whistleblower who turned the company in. This trip has shown us that people with interesting back stories like to go to beach resorts.

Dinner was at Mr Grouper’s as J wanted to go back and try the coconut grouper. The coconut grouper was a bit disappointing as the breading was too thick and a bit mushy around the fish. J’s advice for anyone going to Mr Grouper is to get the blackened grouper, which is healthier and excellent. S had the conch chowder. It was good, but not as good as the smoky conch chowder at Bay Bistro.

Day 174 – Chuck E Cheese or karaoke?

It rained again this morning, but cleared up in the afternoon. We hung out at the pool today and met, you guessed it, another professional hockey player. His name is Adam and he plays in the NHL for the Chicago Blackhawks. He and his wife, Michaela, were very nice and we enjoyed chatting with them. They got their entire heads braided and beaded at the pool by a different hair beading lady. Apparently the beach hair braiding ladies tried to get Adam and Michaela to go with them, by smack talking the lady at the pool (Olivia), but were unsuccessful. It turns out there is some pretty fierce competition amongst the ladies in the Grace Bay hair braiding business. Sadly we couldn’t convince Adam and Michaela to join us for karaoke round 2 at Danny Buoy’s.

We got our 18th COVID test today. We had to queue behind a large group of around 10 people. This one was a rapid test, but they still swab your nostril. Nurse Smith took the test and he was pretty gentle. He is now one of our new favourites, apart from the doctor in Greenville who was too busy harassing S to see that J had not put her swab very far up her nose.

Karaoke got off to a slow-ish start. It was dominated by several little girls, who were given the opportunity to sing four separate times. We don’t think they fully understood the lyrics of the songs they were singing, like the Spice Girls, If you wanna be my lover. J made it up for one song, Lady Gaga, Bad Romance.

The evening ended early again for curfew. This meant there wasn’t enough time for everyone to sing, except for the little girls, who managed to sing four separate times. Danny Buoy’s should think about keeping the evenings adults only given that it’s a bar and karaoke is more of a bar activity.

In spite of all this, two groups of singers really ripped it. One lady sounded exactly like Janis Joplin singing Bobby McGee and the two guys (one of whom was on his bachelor weekend), did a great job of singing Bon Jovi’s Dead or Alive (see video above).

We went to the pool today, only to be caught out by the rain. We took shelter with a few other guests at the pool bar. As the rain wasn’t going to let up, we eventually went back to the room.

Dinner was at Bella Luna, an Italian restaurant on the Grace Bay strip which JJ and Alex recommended. They had an expansive menu of traditional Italian favourites. S had the Italian sausage pasta and J had the lasagna. We topped the meal off with a grappa and an aperol spritz.

The days are starting to look very similar. However, today, we actually made it to breakfast for the first time at this hotel. Breakfast was a slow affair, but the food was decent. They had fresh avocadoes again.

We looked for more flats then went to the beach. It was overcast and windy today and there was a bit more seaweed than usual, but the beach was still nice.

We decided to try Mr Grouper’s for dinner. It is a short walk from the hotel, but not a ‘nice’ walk. You pass by some abandoned buildings. J ordered the blackened grouper and really enjoyed it – it was savoury and spicy and came with fried, sweet plantains. S had the blackened grouper sandwich and enjoyed the coleslaw.

Today J tried to order breakfast room service. It was free and arrived in little, eco friendly, biodegradable packages. The French toast was pretty good, as was the omelette. We spent another morning looking at flats and houses in London. It seems we will be doing this every day until we get back to London.

We made it to the pool in the afternoon. J ordered a club sandwich for lunch. They have had tasty and fresh avocadoes at the hotel for the past 2 days, which has been amazing. We headed off to the Bay Bistro for dinner again. S had the smoked conch chowder, which he thought was amazing, and the vegetable spring rolls. J had the pear and blue cheese salad with raspberry vinaigrette, which she also enjoyed. She then had a scoop of macadamia brittle and kahlua coffee ice cream, both of which were home made. The macadamia brittle tasted surprisingly similar to Breyer’s butter pecan ice cream.

We spent the morning reaching out to letting agents in London to secure our temporary housing for when we return. J managed to find a couple of websites which had a lot of options, so hopefully we will be able to find a decent place. Surprisingly, a large percentage were in Chelsea and Kensington, which means we could end up closer to S’ friend Nick and further away from our friends in Islington. For her part, J would not mind getting to know a new part of town when we get back.

S went to the pool and J went to the gym. S met up with JJ again and immediately ordered some beers. The brothers, Chris and Connor, showed up, so S fulfilled his promise and introduced them to JJ and Alex. One of them is now following Alex on Instagram. Given that she’s around 40 years old, and looks like she’s in her 20s, this isn’t at all surprising. This time Jill and her boys brough the music. They had a waterproof Sonos speaker which was brand new. They actually did play classic rock, including the Grateful Dead and Led Zeppelin.

JJ and Alex had to leave to catch their plane, so we continued hanging out with Jill and the boys. We should also note that Jill has an adopted teenage daughter who, in true teenage form, completely ignored her family and us the entire time and focused on her social media. It turned out to be Jill’s 60th birthday, so we were celebrating. When she learned that S was a former lawyer, she asked S about her own legal issue. Despite never having been an IP lawyer, S dispensed some extremely brilliant and free legal advice. This gave us an idea for a new business, coined by Chris/Connor – WFP = working from pool and WWFB = will work for beer.

We then packed up and left to head out for dinner. For those of you (including J), who would take great joy in seeing S’ samsonian locks shorn from his head and a return to the short hair S previously sported, you will be sad to know that Jill complimented his hair and beads. He now says they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. If this becomes excessive, J hasn’t ruled out taking more drastic measures, such as cutting off the beads while S is sleeping. To be fair, Jill thought J’s hair, which is the product of 6 different colourings, was naturally blonde.

Sure enough, the wise man was correct and J woke up feeling a little worse for the margaritas. She convalesced in the room while S went to the pool. S hung out with our Slovakian friends, JJ and Alex. JJ was going to go to the gym, but S convinced him that beer was a better option. This proved persuasive, so S and JJ hung out drinking beer and pina coladas at the pool. JJ had a Bose speaker that is waterproof and was playing some Euro club music. Needless to say, S was not a fan and requested some classic rock music. JJ kindly obliged with some glam rock and Nirvana. S said this might be considered classic rock if you’re only 30.

J eventually made it out to the pool. We learned that Alex is the number 2 influencer in Slovakia, with over 120,000 followers on Instagram. She receives free gifts for promoting products, and even received an orange Lexus.

After JJ and Alex headed back to their room, we talked to a lady named Jill and her two sons, Chris and Connor. The boys mentioned they were big hockey fans, so S promised to introduce them to JJ.