#solame

We just uploaded Chester Blacksmith and Justin Inman's split part from Decent a local video from Eugene, OR from the early 2000's

Earlier today I was on a hot and heavy phone call with one of my regulars.  He fucks me so good it’s as if he is right there with me in person.  So much so that I apparently got loud enough for the neighbor to bang on the wall.  This is the first time they had to do that in the few weeks I have lived here.  My customer was awesome, he was flexible as we figured out a way to continue the call by switching to the bathroom and putting the fan on along with the tv.  So we still had our fabulous mutual orgasm but I remember feeling very irritable after the neighbor knocked on the wall. 

I wanted to give myself time to reflect to understand why it bothered me.  I think we can all relate to being in a positive moment and then it gets thwarted by someone else having a problem with it.  It took me back to feeling shamed, shut down and made to feel I was doing something wrong by enjoying sexual pleasure.  I felt vindictive but I wanted to choose a higher road and understand myself through this experience.  Yes, it makes me mad that people are so conditioned to shame sexual pleasure and tell others to tone it down.  My customer even said, “it must be a woman because a man would have enjoyed listening in.”  I responded, “True, unless it’s a prudish man.”  I feel like my inner child was triggered back to the days when my dad would stare me down until I stopped touching myself if he caught my hands down my panties.  It was a horrible feeling to just be shamed without be nurtured.  It angers me that we don’t stop to realize that sexual pleasure does not deserve to be shamed and it angers me that people feel the need to shame my sexual expression when I’m in my home.