We sat down for breakfast. You watched me take a sip of my coffee, black, and you noticed. You asked. I added cream after, feeling your twinkling eyes watching my every move.
I watched you smoke your cigarette. I watched the way you pinched it out and I could still tell you which pocket of that yellow jacket you put it in.
You pointed to the 2nd-nicest restaurant in town and when I told you what it was, you said you'd like to take me there someday.
I went there the night you broke it off. With my sister. It wasn't the plan. I sat at the window across from that old hotel. New Year's Eve.
I thought I'd be stronger.. I thought it'd be easier to forget if I never opened myself to you. But it's worse. It's worse knowing how much light you filled my life with. It's worse knowing that I didn't do the same for you. I never knew how much someone could mean to me. And I'll never see you again. My Lighthouse on the coast. I hope sometimes you smoke a cigarette in the wind and you think of me. I can't do anything without you crossing my mind.
MMXXV.IV.XII
