#soithought

O though my eyes were empty from crying because of you. But we talk and I though everything was fina and them you left again and I felt tears rolling down.

When you are young and in “Love” you are so blind. You do not see what others see. They tell you, but you deny it. You put up with the heartache and put on a smile for all to see. You deal with the pain for years because you are so scared of living alone. You start to see the signs, you start to see that all those people who told you that it was bad were actually right. You try to walk away several times but he has a hold over you. He knows how to keep you quiet. He knows how to keep you happy for a minute. When he sees that you are somewhat ok for the moment and he goes back to what he was doing to you before. He shuts you out. He makes you feel like shit. He makes you feel like you are only there for one thing.  It makes you go into a severe depression where all you do is sleep, work, and drink alone. You go to bed next to him but you feel so numb. Wondering if this is all your life is going to be like. You wake up the next day and he is smoking weed with his friends in the garage. You ignore the line of coke that was snorted in the room next to yours. You put your life in danger because this is what he wants. You have to hide his shit because you are so scared that if its found, you will both go down for it. One day you say enough is enough and you lie and say you are going out with your girl friends. (You have never been one to lie) But you meet up with a man who has been there for you through all the shit. You meet that guy and he makes you forget all the shit going on at home. He makes you realize that you have a worth. He tells you that you are capable of doing what ever it is that is needed to make you happy. He is that fore that helps you make a change. You realize that you have to make that change. You cant keep doing this because if you do you are going to end up somewhere that isn’t on this earth. You go home and you say all you needed to say. You say that you are worth more than what he has been giving you. You tell him that you are done. He tries so hard to keep you and manipulate you but you stay strong and you keep your head up. The end is here and you run, you run faster then you have ever run in your life. He’s not there to hurt you anymore. Hes not there to drag you into his bullshit. He has no hold on you anymore. You are free to be who you have always been. You have never been on your own but for once in your life you are okay with that. You grow, You learn and you finally become who you always NEEDED to be. You get your life straightened up and you for once are living a life that you are so excited to live. You no longer wake up with the dread of another day. You wake up feeling like today is a new day full of new discoveries for you to find. Baby you are free. This life is yours for the taking. You can now make your own decisions and live for no one but yourself.

Now I had known her a little bit whilst we were in China, but because whenever she came over she would run in, do class with Paul and my Dad, and then have to run off again directly after, we never had time to talk or get to really know each other. But when you’re living with a person for two months in the same dorm room that will change very quickly.

I got to know her and I’m so happy to say that we’re actually now very good friends. She’s a wonderful young woman and I’m in awe of how far she’s come, and especially what she’s had to go through in order to get where she is now.

I already knew China was a crazy place with skewed views, but the stories she would tell every now and then blew me away. And the fact that she talked about some of these things so casually scared me. I couldn’t believe this was her norm.

So I thought I would ask her some questions, kinda like a little interview, and share her answers with you all.

((She typed these answers out for me, and I thought about changing some of her answers to make it slightly easier to read but decided not to. So if they sound a little off that’s why. :) ))

What are three major differences you noticed about America compared to China while visiting?

-The food there is totally different from China. (Probably one of the most important different haha) I spent nearly a week to get use to all kinds of differences.

-The education system. From the setting of courses to the form of classes, everything is totally different from China. In fact, having 60 people in one classroom may also be interesting for American students to have a try. (JK)

-The structure and the design of the city. (That’s obvious haha)

  What does a normal school day look like for you?

– As for a science student, the class starts at 7:00, so we should arrive at 6:40. We have a solid class, which means we have same seat, same classmates and same teachers everyday in every class. Between every 45 minutes, which is also the length of a class, there are 10 minutes break. Normally if you are a hard working student, you would stay in sit for every break because of the homework. We have lunch and dinner at school, and one of the favorite issue to think of every day for a student is what to eat. After dinner students are separated by their interests including maths, physics, chemistry, biology and computer programming(we really don’t like them). School ends at 9:00 in the evening.

  What does a day off of school look like for you?

– Spending several hours on homework, playing cell phone under my mother’s regulation, then going to bed at mid-night.

  Was there anything that you didn’t like about America?

– There is no way to find hot water when needed. (Typical Chinese thinking haha)

  Do you think American high schoolers live a different life compared to Chinese high schoolers?

– The whole education system in American is different from that in China. In America, people focus more on personal interests, but they don’t go deep into the points. In China, students don’t have the right to choose what to learn, and the whole society value maths and science much more than Chinese and English.

  What where a few things you loved about being in America?

– My friends in America and the awesome SAT class, the campus of UChicago, the architecture style in the East Coast, and salad with cheese XD.

  Can you explain as briefly as possible why you started your bullying campaign and how it’s going?

– I set up the Teenager Anti-bullying Alliance for trying to change the situation at present of Chinese society. I did some research by accident, and I was shock to find out that the bullying problem is so severe in China. However, when I turned to the adults for help, they appeared to be simply indifferent, because they thought there is no way for their generation to do anything. That helped me make up my mind, because I realize that one day our generation will grow up to be the “adults”, and at that time, what if people still say “there is nothing we can do?”. Are we really going to leave the problem to the next generation by showing them we actually don’t care about the high rate of bullying among school ? The only answer is definitely no. Now I ‘m doing just fine. We just set up every thing and still have a lot to learn. But we now have a public wechat account and 100 followers in different provinces. I do hope we are making changes, even though it may not be huge at first.

  How do you handle the pressure that you’re constantly under? (about school, your career, college, etc.)

– Actually, Chinese people are really bad at coping with stress. As for myself, there is hardly a common way for myself to deal with stress. Luckily, I do believe that we are better at surviving under pressure, for we had been exposed to it for years. It has already been an old but annoying friend of us.(haha)

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I didn’t get to ask her much else, but I thought I would give you a little intro to what she’s like: If you couldn’t tell already her English is amazing. Sure it’s not perfect, but it’s still impressive. She’s 17 years old and working crazy hard in school, trying to keep her head above the waves and trying to balance all that with what little of free time she has left over. Her Anti-Bullying Campaign started earlier this year and I remember being SO surprised when I heard about it. It just seemed so out of character for a Chinese person to try to make a difference this way. But then she’s not just any Chinese person. She interviewed us all about our experience with bullying, discipline, etc. and she’s still going strong, getting anyone and everyone she can, involved. It took her a week or so but she warmed up to us, our way of living, the way we do laundry, and even our sense of humor. It was one of the last nights before she left, and we were at a family’s home for dinner just us kids hanging out. The boys were telling jokes and all that and someone asked her something and she responded totally deadpanned with the most sarcasm I’d ever heard from her. I leaned over to Grace but said loud enough for her to hear, “She’s got to go back to China. She’s caught on to using sarcasm.” Her little smug smirk and chuckle when she heard that made us laugh even harder.

And that’s just hardly scratching the surface. There was so much more I wish I could share with you, or even just have you be a fly on the wall for all the conversations we had during the past two months.

From goofy stuff like showing her what she looks like with curled hair, or makeup, to more important things like friendship and what having fun looks like, it was crazy to get to show someone all those things for the first time. It sounds cliche, but it really does make you appreciate the way you were brought up, and living like we do when someone new comes along, and finds even the littlest things mind blowing.

curling her lashes for the first time

seeing herself in makeup for the first time

“I’m like a little Pokemon behind you. I’m your Pokemon!”

It only took her a week or so before she started smiling like this allllll the time. :)

The night she had to leave :( As you can probably tell by her face she wasn’t ready to go

We bid Summer a fond farewell with laughter, horrid dancing, flower crowns, and all the foods

Summer is coming to an end, people are going back to school, and Autumn is on it’s way. Now, Summer’s end doesn’t make me quite as sad as it used to as I don’t have to go back to school this time! And even though Summer doesn’t officially end for another month or so, it really does feel like it’s over towards the end of August. So to send Summer off, my friend and I got together and created our…