#softglowup

January is ending, and it is time for a review of the fourth month in my Dream Girl Guide.

This month I'm doing one big monthly rehiew instead of daily logs and weekly posts. No weekly posts and daily logs, but one big review of the month. I decided to focus on getting the work done rather than writing about it :)

The goal this month was straightforward: it's all about looking my best everyday. And it went quite well, really. I didn't do every little thing every day, of course, but I did it regularly and consistently enough that it made a difference. I'm both surprised and happy with the results!

This month's main resolution was about taking 20 minutes every morning to do my skincare routine, put makeup on, get dressed properly, and add some lipstick and jewelry. I did just that every day (with the exception of a few days that were dedicated to childcare or illness).

I got back into wearing dramatic lipstick, dangly earrings and eyeliner -- and loved it, obviously.

Combined with light exercise and a big glass of water, it morphed into something resembling a morning routine. That was something I definitely did not expect (routine stressed me out), but I'll roll with it!

I made sure to check my appearance and do some light maintenance everyday (plucking my eyebrow everytime I notice a stray hair, touching up my nails when the polish is chipped, and so on). It does make one feel a bit more polished.

My closet overhaul was easy and profoundly satisfying. I have finally reached the stage where I know what I like + what fits me, and I'm happy with every single item of clothing I own.

I went all in with the moisturizing part of the challenge, which did help during such a cold and dry period.

To be completely satisfied, I still need to: renew empty skincare products, get a couple of new products, find a good perfume, and buy new shoes (the ones I wear everyday have massive holes in the sole).

Now I'll have to see if I can maintain this habit on top of the daily stretching/exercising, reading, and PhD-writing habits. But for now, it's all coming together quite well.

This month’s focus is on my appearance and looking my best everyday.

Where I’m at currently

I'm doing reasonably well on that front. I get properly dressed every morning, I make sure to look fresh and neat, I have skincare and hygiene routines that suit me. But there is an important margin for progression. I could certainly do more when it comes to caring for my skin, my nails or my hair; I rarely wear jewelry or use makeup even though I have beautiful earrings and nice lipsticks; I never quite now what to do with my hairstyle. Overall, my appearance is an afterthought and I don't take care of the details that make a difference (chipped nail polish, a hole in my pantyhose, greasy bangs...)

Goal

take fifteen minutes to get ready every morning

Ideas

wear a piece of jewelry everyday

wear lipstick everyday

create a capsule closet

find a perfume that suits me

treat myself to some new care & beauty products

put on moisturizer everyday

buy new shoes

My dream girl is...

someone with a rewarding and stimulating career that fits her expertise and skills. She has successfully completed her degree. Her career is a big part of her life because it's closely connected to her own interests. She's embedded in a network of interesting, diverse professionals, who include her in cool projects and collabs.

someone who strives to conduct her life in a way that is consistent with her principles. She has found a way to be an activist in a very hands-on manner, doing her part. She follows current events through independent, in-depth media (rather than social media or daily news outlets).

someone who is financially independent. She knows exactly where her money is and has no debt. She is able to both save and donate money every month.

someone who structures her time in a way that takes into account both her responsibilities and her needs. She spends time with her close friends and family members and nurtures these relationships. She fulfills her obligations on time and with a minimal amount of stress. She knows how to gracefully say no to requests. She makes sure to have a lot of time to rest and recharge every week.

someone who looks elegant and a bit whimsical. She spends a minimal but consistent amount of time and effort on her appearance. Her environment is cosy, somewhere between a countryside manor and a cottage, with extra comfort and shiny trinkets.

someone who takes care of her health and her body. She incorporates gentle physical activity, great hydration and delicious, heavily plant-based cooking in her everyday life. She avoids anything that exhausts and hurts her body. She has a resistant, strong body that allows her to do what's important to her, whether it is helping friends move or carrying a child on her back.

someone who makes room for delightful and absolutely non-productive activities in her life. She enjoys opera, botany, food, museums, cultural history, travels across her country and Europe. She happily remains an amateur, with no attempt to become an expert or capitalise on her interests.

Plans for the year ahead...

October - Literature A month to get back into reading, especially classics and novels. So… set up a TBR, read every day, reread an old favourite of mine, limit the number of crime novels to 5 for the month, go to the library regularly, schedule a shopping session in a beloved bookstore November - Thesis A month to jumpstart the final version of my thesis and finish my degree. So… have a whole chapter written up by the end of the month, get in touch with my committee once it’s done, set up regular back-ups on my hard drive and online server, stock up on food and lofi playlists December - Care A month to take care of my body and make myself feel healthy, rested, and strong. So… breathe & stretch once a day, exercise once a day, go on a walk once a week, take regular bubble bath, put on moisturising lotion every day, do my skincare routine every morning and evening January - Looks A month to create my own style and streamline a routine to look my best everyday. So… put on makeup every morning, create a capsule closet based on what I own, identify what’s missing from my closet, pick a perfume that fits me, wear sparkly jewelry and bright lipstick and high heels at least once a week February - Play A month to take the time to play, especially video games, and set boundaries regarding my work life. So… review all the video games I own and list those I want to revisit, play at least twice a week, play in bed with good music and snacks when it’s dark and cold outside March - Career A month to prepare life after graduation, taking stock of my current professional life and setting myself up for success. So… update my CV, curate my online presence, create a database of all my professional contacts, reflect on my skills, experience and goals ikigai-style April - Plants A month to learn about flowers, plants and trees, their uses and symbolism, and roam all the parks and gardens I can find. So… learn about three new plants everyday, compile botanical informations in a notebook and review it regularly, walk in forests and parks, get bouquets from a florist once a week May - Mental Health A month to understand the way my mind works, take into account my specific needs, and set up accommodations. So… read up on relevant topics, list possible accommodations and implement them, identify what exhausts me or stresses me out, spend a couple days on my own June - Future A month to reflect on what I want my life to look like and identify how to get there. So… envision what I want my life to look like in 1, 5, 10 years and plan accordingly, recap where I’m at (esp. regarding administrative stuff and finances), set up my medical appointments for the year July - Food A month to enjoy delicious, healthy, fulfilling food & drinks. So… have breakfast everyday, go to the farmer’s market every week, list restaurants and dishes I want to try, take pictures of all the delicious food I get to try, set up a small liquor cabinet August - Culture A month to take advantage of the vibrant cultural & artistic life around me, leaning in what interests me and discovering new things. So… subscribe to newsletters about culture & the arts in my city, pick an event to attend every week, go to the theater, visit a new city, find new artists whose work I love September - Journal A month to document my everyday life and create memories. So… fill up my weekly calendar, post everyday about the highlights of the day, collect stuff, take pictures at least once a week, reread my old journals & notebooks *** Picking 12 traits wasn’t easy, but I keep some goals for future guides (re-learning German, playing the piano again, spending more time with loved ones) and purposefully exclude others (esp. anything that has to do with socialising more, losing weight, being more productive).

I'll post a detailed guide at the start of every month to keep myself motivated.

December has ended, so it’s time for a review of the third month in my Dream Girl Guide plan.

This month was dedicated to caring for my body: the point was to establish new habits to feel healthy, rested, and strong.

On one hand, I spent the end of 2021 in a quite intense state of exhaustion and sadness. On the other, I did get into the habit of doing some physical exercise and skincare everyday, while maintaining my reading and PhD-writing habits. So the results are ambivalent but I'm still proud of myself!

Overall, I managed to:

do a quick workout everyday as soon as I get up

do my skincare routine every morning

make an effort to dress and groom myself properly everyday

take a proper holiday and completely stop working for a whole week (not planned, but proved necessary)

enjoy Christmas and its rituals: napping in front of the fireplace, wrapping gifts and sending Christmas cards, eating chocolates and shopping for books

make several gifts to myself, for once!

I'm also quite happy about the tracking system I used for the weekly updates :)

The goal is to keep on doing the morning exercise and skincare routine, and incorporate relaxing activities into everyday life. January and February are likely to be awfully stressful month and I'll need every bit of help I can get.

This month’s focus is on video games and other playful endeavours.

Where I’m at currently

I hardly ever play video games and I've always somewhat regretted it. It's difficult for me to play for more than a couple hours at a time, and I tend to abandon whatever game I've started after a few weeks.

There's been significant progress over the past few years. I've explored and identified what genres I like, so over the past two years I've built my own little game library. But I still struggle with setting time aside to play.

It's a symptom of a larger issue: work has been taking over most of my everyday life (as is the case for many, many people, I'm aware!). So I want to reclaim my time: better compartmentalize work, de-center productivity, make room for stuff other than work and obligations. I've (somewhat) tackled reading; now it's time to reconcile with video games :)

Goal

have play sessions at least twice a week

Ideas

make a list of the games I own

play each of my favourite games once

find new games

keep track of my play sessions

find a nice setup to play (fairy lights, cozy soundtrack, indulgent snacks...)

play some D&D!

play with friends

play board games

watch YouTube videos about new/favourite games

This month's focus is on my PhD and making significant progress with my manuscript.

Where I'm at currently

I very much want to be done with this degree. As far as the research itself is concerned, I'm ready to write. I've worked on my data, my references, and my argument so much that I could practically recite the whole thesis at this point. As for the degree, I've enjoyed it and taken advantage of it in every possible way. I've met extraordinary researchers and great colleagues, organised conferences and supervised research projects, published more than enough, taught a variety of courses. This is not to brag; at this point, academia relies on unpaid labour so much that grad students get a bunch of opportunities if they're ready and able to work for free. What I mean is: I don't regret embarking on this journey, but I'm ready to move on.

Goal

write at least 2 hours a day + have chapters 1 & 2 written by the end of the month

Ideas

get in touch with my committee at the end of the month

have someone proofread some of my work

track how much I write every day

set up a reliable, automatic backup system

create a good lofi playlist for writing

have great snacks and a bottle of water handy when I write

make sure to really unwind at the end of the day/week

Keeping track of how I’m doing regarding my December goal: taking care of my body and myself.

Because there are quite a few things to keep track of (and because I'm an organising nerd), here's a colour-coded system: ● means I did some form of physical activity, ● skincare, or ● something relaxing, ● means I made progress on writing my thesis, and ● I spent some time reading.

Dec. 29th: ● ● ●

Dec. 30th: ● ● ●

Dec. 31th: ● ● ●