#soft jongdae

Okay, so I really hope I understood this well, I'm sorry if I didn't 😭 but I hope you like it!

Domestic Au! Jongdae

"Your home should tell the story of who you are, and be a collection of what you love."

Smol and soft pictures of Jongdae that make me fluffy.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |  Part 5

Description: After a difficult and traumatizing childhood you’ve mostly recovered from the past, besides the recurring nightmares and occasional struggle disassociating yourself from it. When a boy from said past shows up after seven years, you want nothing to do with him.

Pairings: Jongdae x Reader

Word Count: 782

that nightmarish day comes to mind i tell myself it won’t be like that this time

Jongdae gripped the cup in his hands and sighed, your drinks had been brought to you just as he'd been about to explain himself and you were grateful for the small distraction. You stared down into your own cup as you waited for him to speak.

"Y/N, it wasn't by choice. I would have never left you by choice, you have to understand that."

Your lips tightened, "I don't have to understand anything." He looked hurt by the comment and you realized it was a bit much. After all, you didn't know what it was he was going to say.

Jongdae nodded, "you're right, but I'd like you to at least try."

It was your turn to nod, "okay."

"When my family left, I didn't have a choice. I honestly didn't even have time to prepare for it. My dad was offered a job he couldn't refuse, you know we were tight on money, but it was one of those last-minute things. He was offered the job that morning and we left that night. They didn't even tell me we were moving, they thought it would be easier to tell me later, I still don't really understand their logic in that."

"I don't understand, what about all your stuff, how did you not see that you were moving?"

"They had my uncle collect our things and bring them out the next week," his lips were turned downwards, "Y/N, I begged them to let me go back, to let me say goodbye to you, but they refused."

You glanced down at your hands, you hadn't realized they were shaking, "so it took you seven years to check in on me? To see if, by some miracle, I had made it through life?" You wanted to laugh, to yell, to cry, to do something to release the pain that had built up inside of you, "you didn't even come looking for me on your own, not until you learned that we were at the same school."

He looked stricken, "I didn't think that you'd want to see me, that you'd think I was some monster who'd abandoned you."

"Well you got that part right."

"I thought that, maybe, after so long-"

"That I'd be okay? That the years of torment could just be forgotten about? That I wouldn't still wake up in the middle of the night crying like I had when I was a child?" You shook your head, "you were very wrong, Jongdae."

"Y/N please..." The words came out sounding like the whimper of a puppy.

"Why? Why didn't you come earlier? Did you ever even think about me, about what I had to face alone after you left? About how damaged the years alone in that house would leave me?"

"Of course I thought about you! Every day. But you were the strongest person I knew, I had to hope that you'd be alright."

You felt tears burning in the back of your throat and you hated it, "but you never cared enough to actually find out."

"I was scared, okay?  I don't- I don't know how to explain myself. I know that I made a mistake not coming back for you, for waiting so long to see you again. We all make mistakes, Y/N. But if I know anything at all, I know that when I did see you again I wanted to be a part of your life again. I wanted you back in my life. I know that you don't want anything to do with me, I know you probably hate me, but please. Just give me a chance to make up for it." He stared into your eyes, pleading, "give me a chance to get to know you again."

And for all your anger, all your sadness and bitterness, you couldn't find it in you to tell him no, to push him away any longer. Despite how much you tried to deny it, your heart ached for the friend you'd once had in him. "I am willing," you sighed, "to give you a chance."