#socrates.inboxes

YEAH I HAVE THOUGHTS big thoughts... thank u anon...

so generally yes I do believe that spike is primarily monogamous due to a multitude of reasons, and when i say primarily monogamous i mean monogamy is definitely his preference and what he's always wanted, but it doesn't mean he isn't down for polyamory. i think spike adapted to polyamory both for drusilla and also because of a vampire culture that angelus seemed to emulate (note, angelus' speech to spike in destiny 5x8 of ats where he tells him that he would never belong to anyone or have someone of his own after spike catches him with dru). besides i think his vampirism before sunnydale is representive of an adolescence or new adulthood where he's just down for whatever because he no longer lives in a society.

according to some deleted scripts (which arent necessarily canon but i think it's worth acknowledging) as he explores outside of his bounds of the monogamy he's always wanted, he begins exploring his sexuality (which includes lots of assault and biting women as a symbol of sa and r*pe and also being in this codependent sex family). but i think in spite of all of this fun, he still believed that dru was his One. his person. his everything. he believed he owed her that much. emotionally he was only available for drusilla. outside of this, there are a few indicators in the show that point to him preferring monogamy regardless of everything else:

spike dates and moves in with harmony as yes a psychosexual buffy clone (probably) but also as someone he can just have and be with even though he obviously hates harmony. he never really breaks up with her or engages with anyone else in a similar way sexually or otherwise even though he hates her guts

spike's speech in 'beneath you' and specifically the line "why must a man do what he mustn't? for her to be hers". it seems as though he's always wanted to belong to someone even after knowing what angelus told him, and it also seems like he turned away from angelus' words overtime especially after the fanged four went their separate ways except for him and dru.

in addition to this speech, spike's half joke about the crypt for two in 'first date' indicates to me a sort of domestic foundation in his mind, he's treating love like when he was human, and in s6 episode 11 it seems like he was about to tell buffy this exact response before he cuts himself off

in 'lie to me' even though the watcher's journal and episode describes drusilla as a "sometimes paramour of spike's" buffy still knows spike would do anything for drusilla and she's right

and again i honestly think he is totally whatever on polyamory but 'destiny' and 'beneath you' and 'fool for love' all seem to support that spike tends to prefer and go towards monogamous relationships and i think this makes sense based on his whole devotion thing. i also think he likes a structural polyamory, or a manage a trois. like i think spike was incredibly down for something between him dru and angelus in s2 but only got pissy when he was constantly in the cuck chair and wouldn't include him. i think he'd like something where he and someone else is totally devoted to a woman or whatever instead of being devoted to multiple people at once romantically and sexually. i think he picks an object of desire and fixates on it.

an absolute pleasure anon !!!!

school hard is a big rewatch episode (ofc) for me and ever since I first saw it I've seen so many analyses on the episode and the parallels and the meanings of it all and it has made me appreciate this episode even more because on some rewatches I realize (and I have this realization with a lot of my favourite spike episodes) that this episode is kind of fuckass??? which seems super obvious but I can't even say it's bad because I think thematically and technically it is a good episode but I always always block out the whole PTA party plot of the episode as in my mind this is the spike debut episode.

I am a big fan of analysing and deciphering episode titles (especially on buffy! they always come up with such significant titles) and I find it so interesting that spike's debut episode is an episode called school hard, and it has some homage to die hard in the actual episode (i.e. buffy in the vents) while at the same time the title refers to buffy having to deal with an absolutely evil and corrupt principal slimeball who prays on her downfall. I read a fantastic analysis once on how spike's character in school hard actually completely contrasts his character in intervention and how once he played the hans gruber role but ends up being the john mcclane. if anyone recalls this please drop it in the comments it blew my freakin mind

I find the blending of the two storylines --- buffy trying to plan the social and spike's arrival and plotting --- so fucking interesting? on one hand buffy is dealing with all of these adults; angel stands her up on their hypothet-date, snyder makes her and hillary plan the party, joyce doubts buffy's committment to school/staying out of trouble, and there's a lot of misunderstanding. buffy spends most of the episode being totally misunderstood, they aren't really hearing her, not until she has to show them at the end of the episode. i actually think there's room for some buffy/drusilla parallels as well in this episode---drusilla doesn't interact with many people in this episode but generally the theme is that no one can seem to understand her except for spike (angelus & darla sometimes ofc) and that's where the spike/buffy blending of storylines comes in.

there seems to be a running school theme with spike (i.e. reemerges to buffy in 7x1 lessons in the school basement, debut episode and fight is in a school, some of his last words are "schools out for the bloody summer") and it begins with school hard. he introduces himself almost like a lesson or one of those new hip substitute teachers that claim they understand today's youth more than the average teacher and he's both right and wrong. he is buffy's new lesson, he throws out the rule book, he doesn't follow anyone but himself (and his wife ofc) and he represents what buffy isn't allowed to be as a student. spike's principal snyder is the anointed one. in many ways, while he views it as fun and it is connected to his personal desire to kill another slayer, his hunting party at the school is bizarro world PTA meeting that the anointed one forces on him. and the transfer of hillary between the storylines is the true connecting point there, as well as the twist that angel and spike actually know each other and have a personal history.

additionally, I also find it so interesting how spike and buffy's storylines ---in addition to the characters themselves--- are almost not touching or interacting outside of the scenes they have together. it is only when you look at the seemingly individual storylines side by side and when they come together that you realize that the connection is the fact that they are parallels. spike wants to kill buffy, yes, because she is the slayer and that's his thing, but it seems like most of his storyline seems to involve fulfilling this task for the anointed one, and buffy does not care or think about spike at all until they interact because she assumes he's just an average vampire. she assumes she has no more things to know about vampires that seem as average as him because that's her routine, it's her brushing her teeth or combing her hair. spike seeks buffy out and becomes determined to kill her, but assumes that killing her will be his combing of his hair, ending the episode realizing he has a lot to learn in that area. buffy ends the episode with people realizing it doesn't matter that she has more to learn. she will navigate it.

after reading spark and burn, where we get spike's entire perspective on this entire episode, i find the bit about spike deciding not to kill joyce in the end because he respected her too much for trying to protect buffy in addition to knowing that it was a battle he couldn't win such an interesting fact to add after so many years of character development. and i don't think it's that i disagree with that analysis of why he decided to go "grr women!" before leaving the school it's just that it makes me question why the writers wrote it in the first place if it wasn't the whole "vampire's code" thing.

overall, my final thoughts on school hard (because i have to get ready for class like right now) involve how the acting and other choices made in preparation of this episode and spike and dru sparked the entirety of spike's character and all of this lore with the fanged four. im flummoxed whenever i hear that the original plan was for spike to die here or a few episodes after when they chose to play that one fucking song in the bronze that goes "I'm one step away from crashing to my knees. One step away from spilling my guts to you. You see, there's this huge chunk of me missing. It's gone. And I can' feel it, I can't feel it, I can't feel. I did a stupid thing last night, I called you. It's the last time, And maybe tomorrow night, will be the last time..." (stupid thing, nickel) and it's the moment spike watches buffy dance in the bronze? oh ok

very insane episode these have been my thoughts thank you for asking

oh also i didn't even get into The Scene. yeah ok so my favourite thing about this episode is the coldest favourite thing in the world it's so beloved but i just love how on each others level buffy and spike are. when i first saw the show i kept a journal and i remember specifically noting that spike is the first vampire she encounters (in combat, angel doesnt count) that is able to not only meet her physical strength and fighting capabilities but her intellectual strength as well. the reason why they are so flirty in that one scene is that it's obvious both of them use wordplay and their little charms in their fights (they're yappers) but it's obvious that neither of them have had a proper opportunity to use their language with someone who speaks like them in an event of a brawl before so they just keep building it up together like dancing. their chemistry is so fantastic in this episode they truly have two scenes together and it's so good. i also appreciate that buffy goes so long without caring or talking about the threat or even existence of spike but then in their final battle scene she 1) nearly lets him be the one to kill her (not to say "let" because she maybe couldn't but later on it's clear that it is intentional when she nearly dies by vampire) and 2) drops her weapon to fight with him and it's her idea??? this episode understands their future too well it hurts

no fr! at the end of omwf my friend asks if that's their first kiss and then i explained that Yes* that is their first kiss

32: my favourite colour is red!

57: trippy question. i think im somewhat of an optimist and i'd like to say yes i do believe in true love, theres the stuff about potions and kisses and it breaking all laws or whatever but all i know is it is possible to find someone who can be so perfectly in sync with who you are and who they are that things start to feel possible. maybe it's just me. but ive made friends before that have made me feel complete in ways i can't understand yk? so if i can believe in that level of love and connection i think i can believe in true love

ooh for 58, fog is definitely my favourite kind of weather i would marry fog if it was possible