sober venting.
yesterday... i wasnt even gonna txt her back. but ill get back to that in a minute, i had a small epiphany also. but im happy all this shit happened. ok, so like for the past 3 days i thought that god couldnt hear me.. (dumb right?) but before i leave, my moms fiance was listening to this church service on the book of revelations. and we were rapping on the youth of today and them finding jesus. which is great, i should have asked him like... could jesus hear me when i pray. but not even 10 minutes after leaving.. i go to my cousins house. and he's upstairs listening to this service talking about whats goin on in the news. well not everything in the news but whats going down with the middle east. and i highly advise my tumblr fam to make your ties with jesus better. or accept the fact that god sent jesus down to save every last one of us. and later listening to this service on the radio talking about jesus and how he hears, sees, enters, enlightens, and knows all of us; and how we shouldnt leave the love of him. honestly i forgot about how much he loves me, ive been fucking up... not praying as much, not studying the bible which is on my ipod and my ipod is with me wherever i am. so smh to that.
ok, so.. oh and yesterday, or like 2 days ago.. idk; i did something really stupid. made a girl im interested in be "more cautious of me". which is cool, cuz im a lowball nutcase. lol but anyways, i told her how i felt yesterday fully... dont know how she took it. but, yea... that happened. i really have to do some more soul searching cuz that little stunt i pulled was childish. but i did man up to what i did so that counts for something... right? trying to be a man without a father figure is hard. i mean, i got my uncles and my grandpa (im not gonna ask my cousins with shit like this), but like... i wish i could have a dad to go to with my problems. but its alright. im better off. and i definately dont want to ask my mom for advice in a situation like this. i guess i have to just bottle it up and keep it pushin. take it all in stride. i gotta just take it day by day. even tho she said everything is cool and i shouldnt be trippin off of what happened, i still am. oh yea, she said she didnt want to talk to me... i wasnt gonna text her at all. then she txts me like the next day then i had my chance to tell her how i really felt. and im glad she did txt me, cuz if she didnt, i would have been like.. uggggghhhh what. the. fuck...
but, the moral of the story is.... dudes, dont fuck shit up with a girl that you like... cuz if you have a conscience, it will be heavy as fuck. word. and if you dont think jesus is watching, or listening to you... guess again homes, guess again.
