#so-blindness

A lot of people assume So blindness to be something extreme- being antisocial, that rude bitch who doesn't care about anyone, a cool, awesome person who doesn't bother conforming to the society, INTROVERTS, people with anxiety, blah blah blah.

Personal experience: I've been taught to be nice. Super nice and considerate to the point that a lot of people will never expect me to be so-blind. I can be super social, extremely talkative. A lot of people think I'm close to them. I've taken part in many activities, been a part of clubs. All of this sounds like an So thing, doesn't it?

But here's where the difference lies: I don't understand the need to associate myself to a group. I don't understand how connections, assimilation to a group can make you feel safe, more recognized, powerful, etc. I just...don't care?

I will do everything by myself and wouldn't have the need to ask for help from someone. Not because I think it's pointless. Its literally because my shit-ass brain doesn't think about it.

I never felt the need to belong to a group- and I've never felt like I've belonged anywhere. Even with my closest group of friends- I always feel like I don't belong there.

Oh, and I have this habit of assuming that what's okay for me, is okay for everyone. I might think my resume looks great (I don't bother adjusting it in a way it is presentable to others) and then wonder why no one wants me to work for them. It's kinda embarrassing to admit, but my Sp/So mum has to double check every time I upload my LinkedIn or update my resume, just to make sure that it doesn't look like a scribble note (I'm way better than what I used to be, but it still sucks :( )

My So-dom friends have to remind me to control my tongue in front of strangers. They have to openly encourage and push me to interact with the world around me and MAKE USE OF MY CONNECTIONS.

To make things even more interesting, I can objectively spill my darkest moments to strangers I haven't even met before. Reason: I don't care about what they think. I'm not bothered about the impression I would make, if I don't care about you. You see: creating a good impression of myself to the society is the last thing I care about. This also one of the biggest reason why I usually fail at selling my skills. So-users are so damn good at this.

I won't take pride in group work- unless I did it. I'm horribly ignorant about everything going around me simply because I'm not even aware of their existence. It's never me and my team- it's always just me. There are times where I have to learn and understand why humans join in groups to support a cause- if everyone does their part, wouldn't that be perfect? Do we really have to group ourselves and work for it?

Sure it sounds cool, but would you like to be that person who misses a job opportunity because they weren't careful about presenting themselves?

I feel like the only nice thing about so-blindness is the ability to save energy when it comes to people. You can go about your day without caring about anything. And you'll somehow be fine by yourself. AND YOU HAVE AN AMAZING ABILITY OF CUTTING PEOPLE OUT. Cause you weren't really invested.

Being So-blind may not be an embarrassment to us, but it definitely is for those close to us.