also reflecting reflecting and i still find it so ... weird to think about how when i was younger, around like 10, i really rejected feelings and just thought it was cool not to laugh?? or to cry?? i didnt really express my feelings and it didnt help that the group of friends i spent time with were like that too ): that continued on for a few years until i found friends who were v loud and expressive and unafraid to be silly :3 after some time i was finally able to be more myself and im really really glad!! it's so freeing to not have to hold back certain aspects of my personality and to be able to be expressive and talkative and passionate about my fave things!! ^__^ but ya wow just... whenever i look back i always feel suchhhh a disconnect between my younger and current self. like looking at my younger self and trying to get myself into that mindset to try to understand what it was like... it feels so jarring...? to think that i went from that kind of personality to the one now where some people associate me with the sun and think im bright and warm like ! thats so wow
