im so sick i didnt move from my bed for 2 days ughhh

Man Ace/Enby body disphoria is wildling. Chest? Hate it flat please flat flat noooo. Body hair? Got lots of that, so that’s totally chill. Genitals? Who literally cares id be fine if it was like a ken doll I don’t care I don’t want them but I don’t care which ones I have. Face? Mmmm yess that jaw! the no glasses squint! The bushy eyebrows! and the acne showing up again? Perfect! Hair? Don’t wash it for a day and it looks like fuckboy hair. Perfect. Makeup? Of course! But wait I thought we were having a masculine day? Yep we are but makeup anyways. Okay sure, fine. Outfit? Jeans and a sexy T-shirt with cut out that clearly shows we are wearing a chest binder or that one dress you never wear. Both outfits must also have high healed ankle boots, don’t ask questions. Do I ever wear shoes anyways? No of course not. Shoes are only for masculine days. obviously. Take that makeup off and re-do it in all black. That’s better. Put your glasses on fucko. Oh no it’s TOTALLY RUINED. No. Time to cry. Realize that you can’t see without them so you’ve got to wear the glasses and just mope around the house like an angry ogre for a few hours. Flirt with your girlfriend without telling her it’s a masculine day, she knows regardless and is 100% on board with the flirting. Freak about having to have a shower because you can see your body and have to take your binder off to do that. Turn the lights off and shower as fast as you can, don’t wash your hair you don’t have any masc scented shampoo. Just.... fuck body disphoria honestly. Why. WHATS THE POINT OF ENBY BODY DISPHORIA?!! I’m not going to get surgery because I only feel like this for a few days a month and other times it swings wildly into fem land so like???! Is it Just to make me uncomfortable for a few days??? Be confusing as hell? I give up I’m going to bed