#so basically:

And I know that you'll never feel sorry.

Y/N: This is such a bad idea. Miles: Then why are you coming along? Y/N: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

-

Miles: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment! Trager: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

-

Y/N: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Waylon: Mind your language! Y/N: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Waylon: Y/N: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

-

Y/N: You saved me. I owe you my life. Blake: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

-

Y/N: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Trager: You mean literally or figuratively? Y/N: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

-

Trager: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

-

Chris: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.

-

Eddie: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

-

Eddie: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Y/N: I think you mean cards. Eddie, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

-

Walrider: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

-

Trager: I'm a reverse necromancer. Jeremy: Isn't that just killing people? Trager: Ah, technicality.

-

Blake: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut... Lynn: You would eat yourself? Blake: I wouldn’t even question it.

-

Knoth: What did you do with Marta's body? Val: What didn’t I do with the body? Knoth: Val: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

-

Knoth: You're right. Val: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

-

Marta: God, give me patience. Val: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Marta: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

-

Y/N: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Val: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Y/N: Absolutely not.

-

Y/N: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. Val: Marta: Knoth: Everyone Else At Y/N’s Surprise Birthday Party: Val: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

-

Lynn, trying to ask Blake out: Would you like to stay for dinner? Val: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

-

Y/N: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology. Val, amazed: Wow... Eddie, to Val: Well what does that mean? Val: I don't know. Val, to Y/N: What does that mean?

-

Jessica: We need to get through this locked door. Lynn, give me your credit card. Lynn: Here. Jessica, pocketing it: Thanks. Blake, kick down the door.

-

Jeremy: If you had to choose between Y/N and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Trager: That depends, how much money are we talking about? Y/N: Trager! Jeremy: 63 cents. Trager: I'll take the money. Y/N: TRAGER!!!

-

Frank: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

-

Marta: Favorite horror movie? Val: It Knoth: Saw Nick: Annabelle Laird: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

-

Heretic: So what’s for dinner? Val, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

-

Miles: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Waylon: Put spaghetti in it. Miles: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Jeremy: Put spaghetti in it. Miles: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Trager: Put spaghetti in it. Miles: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

-

Eddie: I am not out of control! I'm a law-abiding citizen! Waylon: Really? Name one law Eddie: Don't kill people? Waylon: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

-

Knoth: *Walking into a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things. *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Val: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

-

Blake: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Val: It means I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Blake: but what’s the first worst thing? *Awkward pause* Val: Blake, they...they weren’t always orphans. Blake:

-