as we move slowly by snsk ( @snsknene )
Louis grows wings. Harry is the only one who can see them.
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as we move slowly by snsk ( @snsknene )
Louis grows wings. Harry is the only one who can see them.

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Mash up of some of the AoT redraw sketches I've done over the yearsđ
Behind those Fire Eyes by YesIsAWorld | E | 2379 Liamâs messy xo scrawled on one of the discs called out to him. He carefully slid it out and put it in one of the three CD slots, and hit play with a smirk. Liam had been unbearably proud of this mix. Rightfully so, Zayn could admit with just a hint of jealousy. It was made with a very specific purpose in mind, and it was, Zayn realized, swallowing thickly as his cock kicked in interest, very effective.
I Made You A Mixtape by Idzzdi | G | 3062 âItâs a mixtape, love,â Nick says, smiling sweetly. âWith all the songs you hate.â
Harry's Music by AlexNichole | nr | 3469 Louis finds Harry's iPod, giving us (and him) an inside look to the relationship.
take you with me every time I go away by starryhaze | nr | 3654 âWhatâre you doing pup?â Louis asks quietly, doesn't want to destroy the soft bubble they created. ââm making a playlist.â He answered. âWith like uhm songs that remind me ofâŠus.â Harry squirms and Louis immediately releases calming pheromones to let the omega know it's okay. âYeah, show me?â Louis asks and Harry slowly hands his phone to Louis. - or the one where they make a playlist and it works as a makeshift nest when Harry has to go away for a couple of days and is anxious to be without his alpha.
oh so many nights by snsk | G | 5552 Harry Styles is a strong independent woman who don't need no man. Louis Tomlinson is no man Harry Styles needs. So say Aretha Franklin and Alicia Keys and Beyonce, and god knows they basically run the world (girls). Except that, like, Aretha and Alicia and B haven't seen the way Louis wakes up in the morning, all soft tired eyes and creased skin and Harry-smile. But, you know. Harry will survive.
Longing like a Searchlight by Cyantific | E | 27175 Louis moves in with his friend Harry and soon thoughts of his new flatmate are anything but innocent, and Louis has no control when it comes to acting on those urges when he's alone. It doesn't take long for his simple, primal impulses to turn into deep, urgent longing the more time they spend together. Will an unexpected family event that takes Harry home for the weekend be the catalyst that finally brings them together or what tears them apart when Louis overhears what Harry reveals to his mother about his true feelings? Or... The Five times Louis almost gets caught during a salacious moment of self care and the one time he did...a roommates to lovers fic with lots of feels.
If This Is a Rom-Com (Kill the Director) by tippitytap | G | 27284 It wasn't like Harry Styles needed a housemate. It certainly wasn't like Harry Styles needed Louis Tomlinson as his housemate, the musical snob who only listened to a hand-picked selection of 14 artists and who had imposed a no-dating rule between the two upon moving in. They could manage to be housemates and friends, right? Right?
The Miseducation of Harry Styles by junkshopdisco | E | 30338 Nick makes Harry a mix tape, falls in love with him, and has a nervous breakdown (not necessarily in that order).
Heading for Limbo by kingsofeverything | E | 100864 Childhood best friends whoâve fallen in and out of touch with each other since Louisâ family moved away when they were thirteen, Harry and Louis find their paths crossing again and again. Each time, no matter how many miles apart or how many years itâs been, itâs as if no time has passed. They fall back into their easy friendship, until life intervenes and sends them on their separate ways once more. When Harry discovers some life-changing things about himself, Louis is there for him, however he needs. But itâs all temporary because Louis has plans that will move his life from New York all the way to L.A. and the distance isnât the only thing between them. The pieces of their twice broken hearts are scattered from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
HL Fic Library đ Girl Direction Fics
Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find our other recs here.
đ You Make Lovin' Fun by @homosociallyyours (E, 109k)
Harry is a 28 year old travel writer at a gay magazine who gets the assignment to go a lesbian cruise. She figures it's a nice chance to have some fun in the sun, but she's not expecting much else-- even if her partner and best friend are both encouraging her to hook up with someone while she's there.
When she locks eyes with a gorgeous silver fox from across the room, she starts to think she could've been wrong. There are lots of things standing in the way of anything real happening with her and Louis, but that doesn't stop them from falling for one another. True love isn't always easy, but they do make lovin' fun.
đ That Smile and That Midnight Laugh by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright (T, 50k)
Harryâs never noticed how lovely Louis really is. Maybe itâs just that sheâs usually so guarded â a little tense, a little irritated, a little put out. At least when sheâs at school, and also usually when sheâs around Nick, which are the only times Harry has really seen her. Until tonight. Tonight Harryâs seen her with her guard completely down. Too busy laughing and enjoying herself to remember to be prickly, maybe. She seems different.
It feels different.
A Ferris Bueller's Day Off AU that picks up right where the movie leaves off, and imagines what might happen if Ferris' girlfriend and sister become friends. And maybe something more, too.
đ i must admit i thought i'd like to make you mine by @disgruntledkittenface (M, 50k)
Louis fell apart when her ex broke up with her and moved across the country. Just as sheâs starting to move on, Zayn comes back to town for their mutual friendsâ wedding â with a new girlfriend as her plus one.
Blindsided and scrambling to save face, Louis lets herself get talked into a fake relationship with her new friend Harry. Their arrangement makes Louis feel pathetic and embarrassed, but itâs only going to last a few weeks. She just has to get through the wedding â what could happen?
đ Bleeding Love by momentofclarity / @gaycousinlarry (E, 27k)
âIâm Harry,â Styles says like Louis didnât know and she gestures for Louis to have a seat. âYou want anything?â
Louis is still considering running. This is absurd. Styles should be shooting daggers at Louis through her eyes, but sheâs not. Sheâs looking at Louis like sheâs a riddle waiting to be solved.
Louis is an animal rights activist who throws red paint at fur coat wearing it-girl Harry Styles. Then there's a crack in the surface and something new starts bleeding through.
đ Any Thrill Will Do by @star55 (E, 23k)
Itâs a Tuesday when Harryâs motorbike stops working. This is a catalyst for her entire life changing forever. She just doesnât know it yet.
đ daydream about me by vintagehistories / @adoredontour (E, 21k)
âAnything else going on for you at the moment?â she asks, leaning forward on her elbows across the table, mindful of the radio equipment in front of her. âWhat about you and that Louis Tomlinson?â
Harry sputters, mouth moving but no words coming out. She can feel her cheeks heat up, darkening with embarrassment.
âItâs not, Louis and I, we donâtââ Harry canât finish the sentence, tongue heavy in her mouth. She takes a deep breath, thankful theyâre not being videoed, and tries again, âWeâve never even met, actually.â
alternatively titled 'harry styles does not have a crush on louis tomlinson and other lies she tells liam payne'
đ Tell Me This Is Paradise by  QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird (E, 19k)
Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.
đ when half spent was the night by @juliusschmidt (M, 14k)
Hi Harry, Iâve skimmed your website and am interested in hiring you to be my doula. Iâm 7 œ months pregnant and not keen to do this whole labor and birth thing alone. After looking around, I thought you might be a good fit because you mention enjoying unusual people with unusual birth requests. I can meet up any day this week. Lou
đ Shine by @littlelouishiccups (E, 8k)
Harryâs had a crush on Louis since the moment she realized she liked girls.
đ inhale and hold the evening by snsk (T, 7k)
harry composes music. louis is making a movie.
đ Close Our Eyes (Pretend We're Miles Away) by @haztobegood (E, 5k)
Louis and Harry have been on the run for a day and a half now. Itâs a hard situation to be in, and theyâve been trying to cope the best they can since their relaxing girlsâ weekend at a rented cabin turned into a living nightmare.
Just forty eight hours ago, Harry never would have robbed a bank. Hell, she barely would have touched the gun sheâd used in the robbery, let alone wave it around to threaten anyone. Forty eight hours ago, Louis hadnât used that same gun to shoot a man.
đ When I Think About You by @phdmama (E, 4k)
Harry is beautiful, inexperienced, and curious. Louis is smart, seasoned, and comfortable in her own body. When Harry has questions, just maybe, Louis has the answers sheâs looking for.
And... theyâre roommates.
đ the wheel breaks the butterfly by embodied (E, 4k)
âOut with it, Styles,â Louis groans. Harryâs suddenly regretting this whole thing, and sheâs sure sheâs beet red now, so she just blurts it out so fast sheâs not sure if Louis even understands her right away. âIâve never gotten head before.â
AU. harry and louis are roommates. girls' night ends a little differently than usual.
đ lord knows i've tried (can't get her off my mind) by whensheflies / @choface (M, 3k)
âHi, itâs Louise? Louise Tomlinson...from school. Harriet, you there?â she asks softly.
Even through her meltdown, Harriet almost shivers at the sound of her name on Louiseâs lips.
No. She cannot be thinking about Louiseâs lips right now. Get it together, Styles.
a catholic school girl direction au.
đ Magic by dolce_piccante / @haydolce (G, 3k,)
AU. Girl!Direction. Harry and Louis go to Disney for a wonderful holiday filled with familiar characters, fireworks, and some Magic Kingdom magic.
đ Witch Girlfriend Drabbles  by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (G, 3k)
Harry is a witch and Louis is her mortal girlfriend.
đ We Made a Start by @lululawrence (NR, 1k)
âHey! I thought your phone got taken away after that stunt you pulled in Chem,â Louis said brightly, relieved her best friend was going to rescue her from her awful reading assignment, even if it was only temporarily.
âIt was taken away after that stunt she pulled in Chem,â a voice that definitely wasnât Harryâs said.
âOh...hi, Anne,â Louis greeted, suddenly nervous. Anne had never called Louis before, not when Harry wasnât already at Louisâ house for a sleepover or something.
âHi, Louis,â Anne continued. âBased on your greeting, Iâm afraid I already know the answer, but I have to ask.â Anneâs voice was obviously filled with worry despite the fact she was trying to veil it with calm. âHarry doesnât happen to be at your house, does she?â
Or the one where Harry's hiding, Louis knows just where to find her, and more comes out of the evening than either expected.
đ Chase by @wabadabadaba (E, 1k)
Carefully, Louis stalked through the forest, searching for Harry. A moving cloud allowed the moonlight to shine just right to reflect off of the gorgeous green eyes of her omega. Harry was attempting to hide behind a tree; she was crouched down with her front paws and chest on the ground, her hind legs bent, with her tail swishing behind her like a puppy. Louis couldn't wait any longer to have her.
or, Louis and Harry play a game of chase during the full moon.
A fic rec of soft, fluffy girl direction One Direction fics as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please remember to leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find all my other fic recs here. Happy reading!
 Ò Larry  ÒÂ
Gently As She Goes by graceling_in_a_suit / @graceling-in-a-suit
(T, 33k, fantasy au) A modern fairytale (literally!) featuring a quest to bring a lost girl home, celtic goddesses, braiding, friendship, true love, and magic.
scraping the skies with our finger tips by tommoandbambiÂ
(T, 21k, punk Louis) Â the fem!slash flower child/punk au that no one ever asked for featuring a sexuality crisis
how could anybody deny you by sunflowergolden / @loveonwallstour
(T, 13k, cooking au) the one where louis and harry are both girls, louis needs some help in the kitchen and harry is the perfect teacher.
Crystal Ball on the Table by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird
(E, 12k, witch au) Her magic isn't exactly something she advertises when looking for potential new girlfriends, so when Louis Tomlinson arrives in her life like a breath of fresh air, she tries her best to hide how strongly her magic is reacting to Louis' presence.
Next Time on Mermaid Coast by @homosociallyyours
(NR, 9k, uni au) With the series she writes fic for coming to a close soon, she's thinking about her otp getting together and wondering if she might be able to get the girl too.
i will be the sun (i will wake you up) by orphan_accountÂ
(T, 9k, royal au) AU where Zayn gets turned into a mermaid, Harry and Louis are soulmates, and everyone's a princess.
inhale and hold the evening by snskÂ
(T, 7k, famous au) harry composes music. louis is making a movie.
As Time Goes By by @1diamondinthesun
(T, 6k, first date) They hadnât even opened the wine yet, and Louis was already fantasizing about cuddling Harry.
Bittersweet, Irrepressible by flowercrownfemme
(G, 5k, uni au) In which Harry's been in love with Louis all semester but can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic interactions, leading to pining and confusion and at least one date.
like safety and home by glitterlarries
(T, 5k, canon) Harry pulls Louis into a tight tight hug once the cameras have gone away.Â
Witch Girlfriend Drabbles by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense
(G, 3k, witch Harry) Harry is a witch and Louis is her mortal girlfriend.
Our Sweet Creature by outerspaces
(T, 3k, pet fic) Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson have been together for years now. They decide itâs time to add a third member to their family. Louis brings home a puppy.
Mistletoe Mouth by @littleroverlouis
(NR, 2k, department store) Louis is attempting to make her department store holiday shopping trip as quick and painless as possible.
Suddenly Family by @star55
(G, 2k, pet au) Somehow Louis' cat impregnates Harry's and there's kittens involved.
Now I See The Light by cherrylarry / @beelou
(G, 2k, Disney au) Harry is Rapunzel and Louis is Belle at Disney World.
 Ò Rare Pairs  ÒÂ
if you should try to kiss her by @disgruntledkittenface
(NR, 3k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Harry's annual Christmas party gives Louis her chance to be brave and tell Nick how she feels.
Baby Love by @star55
(G, 1k, Niall/Zayn) Niall grins and squeezes Zaynâs hand lightly, looking up at the projected baby photo on the wall that Harry had rigged up for her baby shower.

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hesitation, arthur/eames, 11k, read on ao3 here
~~~
Arthur was in a hotel room that was his favorite kind: it was old in a way that suggested it had let number of people through its doors and would let in more until it was finally demolished a hundred years from now, old in a way that meant slightly faded carpets but wood paneling to die for.
It had not been expensive. Arthur had a lot of money from the Fischer job, but it didn't mean it would last forever. Arthur was a sensible man.
Arthur was also in his favorite pair of pajamas. They were silk and they were grey and they felt like comfort. As this was a slightly old hotel room, it had a slightly old TV with a limited number of channels, and the channel that was on now was playing reruns of some trashy reality show. Arthur did not understand anything that was going on, but he was enjoying everything that was going on, enjoying the fact that he was watching scenes of frivolity instead of growing old in a nameless dreamscape. He had a glass of wine in his hand, and heâd just had a long bath, and his hair felt slightly damp against the nice clean pillow.
He was feeling rested. He was feeling rested because he deserved it.
Of course it was then, because that was Arthurâs life, that his phone rang.
Arthur turned his head to the side to look.
Cobb, of course. No one else could ruin Arthur's relaxation like Cobb did. It was a talent and the manâs true calling.
Arthur thought he would have had a break from all the Cobb drama once Cobb had successfully gotten through immigration at the airport but apparently Cobb lived to make his life an extended babysitting gig. Arthur thought, rather bitterly, that there were only so many things Cobb could do that Malâs death could explain away. The line had to be drawn somewhere, even though Arthur had loved her so fully and completely.
But Arthur had loved her so fully and completely. That was the issue here. Those children were still hers. If anything happened to Cobb it would be Arthur who would have no choice but to move to LA for them, and Arthur hated the humidity.
He pressed answer.
âWhat do you need?â Arthur asked.
âHello to you too,â said Cobb, in a manner calm enough that Arthur didnât think there were any guns pointed to his temple. Arthur relaxed a bit. âI was calling to check in.â
âCheck in,â Arthur repeated suspiciously.
âCanât I check in?â Cobb asked innocently. âThe children are asking after you.â
âI just saw them,â Arthur said. âTell them Iâll come by soon.â
Cobb paused. âAbout that,â he said, in a sketchy sort of way.
âI knew it,â Arthur said. âI knew you were in trouble. What do you need, Cobb?â
âItâs not need,â Cobb said, but it was never need, was it? Arthur squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. âIâm not in trouble,â Cobb was saying. âI just need a favour.â
Arthur shook his head against the phone and looked at the television. A favour did mean Cobbâs life wasnât in danger and his children werenât possibly going to be orphans, which meant Arthur, for once, had the option of saying no. For the past two years, heâd shadowed Cobb while Cobb got progressively wilder around the eyes and took on steadily more dangerous jobs, and Arthur, thinking of Malâs arms around his neck and Philippaâs wide sunny smile, hadnât been able to say no.
âI owe him,â Cobb said. âProperly, and itâs either I do it, but itâll be for a couple of monthsâ the kids need stabilityââ
Arthur could imagine. Their mother dying and their father being publicly arrested for it had done wonders for their future therapistsâ bank accounts.
âItâs an easy extraction,â Cobb said hopefully. âAnd I know youâve done so much. But look, itâs me, here, calling in one last favour.â
Arthur had already made up his mind. He had meant to see the kids anyway. He could go stateside for a bit.
âThereâs just one thing,â Cobb said. He sounded apologetic now.
âUh-huh,â said Arthur, the sigh caught in his throat already telling him what it was.
âThey need a forger,â said Cobb.
~~~
There were other forgers, of course. Good ones, competent ones even. But Arthur hated working with mediocrity when he could have excellence. Eames was â unfortunately! it couldnât have happened to a more annoying person! â excellence.
Eames had also disappeared off the grid with his share of the Fischer payout.
Which was all very well and good. Another sign of excellence, actually. Arthur had been planning to be off the grid for at least a month more with a job as high profile and risky as that. However, this made things more complicated for Arthur, because Eamesâ ability to disappear was also excellent.
Arthur wasnât Dominic Cobbâs point man for no reason. It took him nine days, but he found out where Eames was.
Eames was back home.
As off the grid went, it was still pretty on there. It was more likely people in the dreamsharing community could have seen him and recognised him. But they hadnât yet, which also spoke to Eamesâ unfortunately extensive abilities.
~~~
London reminded Arthur of Mal. Most big cities reminded him of Mal, because Mal had loved big cities. In fact, she had loved them so much she had thrown herself off a skyscraper in her most favourite city, and therefore ruined it forever for Arthur.
Luckily, while being a big city, London held no such specific memory for him. He had been there a couple of times on jobs, but those had been quick turnarounds. His strongest memories there were of hotel rooms with grey drizzly views and bad bland hotel food. He hadnât gone around the city at all. The drizzle and food had put him off. âThatâs the best they can come up with?â he remembered asking Cobb, who had merely looked, despondent and wild-eyed as ever, at the bangers and mash they had sent up.
Arthur had pinpointed the area Eames was staying, and could have waited for him there, but he figured it would look more impressive to find him where he was. Arthur ignored the little Mal-voice that asked why he had to look impressive to Eames. It took him the rest of the afternoon to track him down for the day. He was at the Tate Modern.
Arthur scanned his ticket and stepped inside the exhibition space. He combed the exhibitions until he found Art and Media, until he found a room which consisted of a large screen flashing bright unsettling images in 0.1 second bursts at its unsuspecting audience, or so the description outside promised.
Eames looked anything but unsuspecting. His face was intent. His skin was awash with the quick flicking colours of the screen, red and yellow and neon green and red red red again. When Arthur reached him he said, low, turning his head a bit, âAh. Arthur.â
He said it Arrrthur, actually, in that annoying way he had. âEames,â Arthur said, determined to be polite. Arthur was always determined to be polite at the beginning of every job they worked together. Eames always brought that resolve crumbling down.
âAre you in danger, Arthur?â Eames asked.
âNo,â Arthur said.
âAh,â Eames said knowingly. âA job then.â
Because Arthur made it a point to acknowledge Eames was right as little as possible, he didnât answer, and they both stared at the screen for a while. The quick-flash images did feel quite unsettling, but the pictures didnât last long enough for Arthur to catch what they were and why they unsettled him. He supposed that was the point. There was only colour to remember, mauve and cobalt and red red red again, colours that pressed against his eyelids.
âAre you actually enjoying this?â he asked at last.
Out of the corner of his eye, Eames shifted a bit. âNo,â he said. âBut we donât need to enjoy art to appreciate it.â
âWe donât need to waste time on art we donât enjoy,â countered Arthur.
Eames started walking out of the room then, so Arthur followed. âItâs enough that we feel the art,â he said, still low and unbearably pretentious. âDonât you, Arthur? Doesnât it make you uncomfortable? Doesnât it make you long for more, or less, or something different?â
Arthur took a quick glance back into the room as they left it. The images were still flashing and the colours were still bursting.
Out of the room, Eames was visible without neon lights washing over him. Arthur noted that his hair was slightly shorter and even though he was still wearing a terrible sports jacket over terrible cargo pants, he looked well-rested. Without preamble Arthur said: âThereâs an extractionââ
âAlright,â said Eames. âHello to you too. Anyway, I canât make it.â He turned on his heel and started walking in the direction of the exit.
âWhat do you mean you canât make it?â Arthur asked, hating that Eames made him do stupid things like rush to keep up with him.
âIâm terribly busy,â Eames said, walking down the escalator.
âYouâre not exactly doing much,â Arthur observed.
âWell I am,â said Eames. âSo there.â
âNo youâre not.â
âYes I am.â This was veering dangerously into playground territory, like things usually did with Eames. Arthur thought about what might sway him.
âThereâs a lot of money in it,â he said, knowing it wouldnât help much.
âI havenât exactly managed to go into debt since we were last paid more than weâd ever need in two lifetimes, sweetheart,â Eames said, hiking stupid aviators on and walking out the glass doors.
âItâs a favour,â Arthur said, then hesitating, because he couldnât exactly say âto Cobbâ. Eames was probably still furious at the fact that Cobb had nearly let them spend eternity inside their own heads and walked off contentedly into the sunset and his kids after. Heâd said as much in the airport bar three months ago. That was how theyâd left things, snappish, which explained why Eames wasnât immediately being teasing and flirtatious and smirky in Arthurâs general direction.
Arthur didnât miss it, of course not. This was almost professional of Eames, which had to be an upgrade.
âOh?â Eames said, stopping and looking at Arthur, but his face was inscrutable behind the shades. Outside, it was cool with autumn weather, watery sunlight filtering through the leaves above Eames.
âTo me. Iâd owe you one,â Arthur said. He didnât know why he let Cobb make him do things like this. He had loved Mal fully and completely, but surely she wouldnât have wanted him to lose all his dignity in this way.
âYouâd owe me one,â Eames repeated, sounding slightly delighted.
The wind ruffled his hair a bit. In the watery sunlight it looked watery gold.
âYes,â said Arthur.
Eames looked at Arthur inscrutably behind his shades, and Arthur looked back, knowing Eames would call it in at the worst time, probably one day when Arthur was reclining in a hotel room, thinking of nothing but comfort.
âAlright then,â Eames said eventually. âBut either way, I canât go now. Iâll be ready in about a month or so.â
He set off again, in the direction of the pier. Arthur set off after him, annoyed that he was continuing to be difficult, just because theyâd had a disagreement. âWhy canât you be ready now?â
âI said Iâm busy, darling,â Eames drawled, reaching the edge of the pier and looking out at the river.
Arthur let him stare out at the Thames for long moments before he dripped sarcasm into his voice. âYeah, I can see workâs really piling up.â
Eames sighed and removed his glasses, folding his arms and looking directly at Arthur. âIâm not messing with you, Arthur. I do have things I need to do here. If the jobâs not urgent Iâll be there in a month.â Like this, Arthur could see that his eyes were the colour of the river and the sky, that he was better-shaven than on the job but he was stubbly still, that he had gained some weight and filled out his horrid sports jacket and terrible cargo points. He looked well-rested, it was true. He looked relaxed. He did not look like he was lying.
Arthur, impatient in this grey city with the grey sky and the bad food, called his bluff anyway. âFine.â
âFine,â said Eames, turning back to the sunset.
âFine,â said Arthur.
After a bit Eames narrowed his eyes at Arthur. âI see youâre not leaving.â
âIâll hang around here,â Arthur said, not at all childishly. âHelp out with the job if it makes things go faster.â
âYouâll hang around here,â Eames repeated blankly.
âWhy not?â Arthur asked. âI could use a change of pace. I havenât seen much of this place.â He waved a hand at the Thames, signifying the city.
Eames suddenly looked considering, one eyebrow raised. He shrugged, and Arthur could see the beginnings of amusement in his eyes. âI could use your help, actually,â he said. His tone had changed too: lighter, more like the unprofessional behaviour Arthur knew and did not love.
Arthur had done his research. He knew Eames didnât have dreamsharing work in London. âLetâs go, then,â he said, hoping Eames would give this up sooner rather than later, admit he didnât actually have a job and let Arthur get started on his last Cobb favour.
In answer, Eames started heading down a flight of stairs on the pier that led to the riverbank. Arthur scowled. He could see stones and sand, pigeons excited to shit all over his Saville Row. He followed him down anyway.
Eames stood on the riverbank, dirty filthy water nearly reaching his lumberjack boots. He bent down to pick up a pebble. Arthur kept his distance as Eames skipped it smoothly on the surface, tap tap tap splash. âYouâre going to love London, darling,â he called back to Arthur, picking up another pebble. âIâll take you around and everything.â
~~~
Eames took him back to his place in Richmond, the flat that Arthur had scoped out already. It was in a nice neighbourhood, and the apartment itself was woodsy and rich, dark plush furniture and paintings that swirled warmly.
âSo what is it?â Arthur said, getting impatient. Theyâd taken the tube. Arthur massively disliked the tube. It was hot and sweaty and next time they were taking a car, but Eames had insisted on an authentic London experience. âWhoâs it involve?â
âPatience, sweetheart. Youâll see,â Eames told him, stripping off the sports jacket and revealing an awful brown t-shirt underneath. It was ripped, but not artfully, like a designer had planned it, more like mice had gotten into his closet. âWeâre going there now.â
âYou could try being less mysterious,â Arthur suggested.
âWhereâs the fun in that?â Eames asked.
Honestly it felt kind of ridiculous, because Arthur knew there was no job. But he kind of wanted to see where Eames would bring him, how Eames would play it out, how eventually he would say You win darling and Arthur could drag him back to LA in satisfaction, because Eames brought out that incredibly petty side of him.
Eames took him for a walk around the neighbourhood. They were in the cool dark air, streetlights washing over them glowingly, time and time again. Little noises emanated from the flats they passed, sounds of dinners and nightly routines and familiarity. âEames,â Arthur said, after exactly eighteen minutes of walking.
âItâs just here, Arthur,â Eames said. This seemed nonsensical. They crossed a playground. Eames walked up to a blue door and knocked.
Arthur began to reconsider. Perhaps they really was a job, an up and coming extractor, a new team. Sure, Eames hadnât taken jobs like that before, small ones without the chance of big payouts, but maybe he was rolling with it now he was rolling in it.
A woman opened the door. She was heavily pregnant.
Before Arthur had a chance to gape, she was looking at Eames, saying, âFinally!â and leaned out of the door to kiss him on the cheek, before cuffing him gently about the head. âYou said youâd be here an hour ago.â
She was very pretty, with wavy chestnut hair and large eyes and the same sort of carelessness of manner as Eames had, her posture easy and her gestures expansive.
âI was waylaid,â Eames said, after kissing the top of her head and tilting his head at Arthur.
âOh, hello, come in!â Eamesâs girlfriend? wife? pregnant with his child? said to Arthur, smiling brightly at him. âWhoâs this?â she added to Eames as she turned to go back in.
âThis is Arthur,â Eames said, stretching it out again, and levelling a grin at Arthur before following her into the flat. âHeâll be joining us for dinner.â
Arthur wasnât sure how he was feeling. Appalled, slightly, of course, that Eames flirted like a madman and especially with Arthur and there had been times evenâonce or twiceâafter a job that they had looked at each other, exhilarated and knowing, and something in Eames eyes had softened and Arthur hadnât known what to make of it andâwell! He knew what to make of it now.
This selection of thoughts happened in quick succession and he was moving across the threshold, into a cosy, warm sort of place that smelled of spaghetti and contained Eames, sitting in a messy living room with what looked like a two-or-three year old clinging to his leg.
Two kids. The things one could keep from co-workers theyâd known for yearsâArthur hadnât seen it crop up, even once. The child, golden-haired and babbling, was trying to climb onto Eamesâs lap, and he was smiling down at her and talking to her lowly and adoringly. Arthur wrenched his eyes away. He tried not to stare, feeling his stomach churn. Instead he moved left, into the kitchen where the spaghetti was boiling and the woman stirred at it.
âHi,â he said. âIâm Arthur.â
âIâm Rosie,â she said, turning to stick a hand out. âSorry the house doesnât look greatâWill didnât tell me he was bringing anyoneââ
âSounds like him,â he said, and Rosie grinned. âIt looks great, donât worry about it.â
Her gaze turned considering, and she looked a lot like Eames when it happened. Eames had married(?) a second him, of course he had, the self-absorbed dickhead. âYou work with Will?â she asked.
âYes,â said Arthur uncomfortably, wondering how much she knew about dreamsharing. âWeâworkâweâve worked together. I was in town.â
âHmmm,â she said slowly. âHeâs never brought anyone back. You really must be special.â
âOh,â said Arthur. He tried to look across to Eames for help, but Eames was already looking back at Rosie, with an expression that looked like exasperation. Why had Eames brought him back, anyway? Sure, he and Arthur were acquaintances, almost friends, but Arthur hadnât even heard he had two kids. Eames had kept it from everyone, and well and good for him too, you never knew who you could trust. Heâd probably brought him back here tonight probably because he wanted to one-up Arthur who was ridiculously following him in London about a job, showing him look I have a life, what can you say to that? Well, heâd won. Arthur was hightailing it out of here tonight, because this was just weird.
Eames stood up. âArthur,â he said. âI see youâve met Rosie. And this is Lily.â Lily squirmed happily in his arms and stuck out her hand. Arthur had to exit the kitchen and head to the sofa to take it.
âThis is Arthur,â Eames said to Lily, turning his head to kiss her cheek. âSay hi Arthur.â
âHi Ar-fur,â Lily said. Arthur was helplessly charmed by this. âHello, Lily,â he said seriously.
âHeâs come to ask me to go back to work and leave you alone,â Eames said sadly to her.
Arthur hadnât known heâd had a kid. âI didnât know you had a kid,â he said, while Lily reached up to touch Eamesâs hair. âUnca Wew,â she babbled, which just sounded like nonsense.
âYes, Lily,â Eames cooed. âEvil Arthurâs taking Uncle Will away from you.â
âUncle,â Arthur said inadvertently. Eames looked up at him before he could school his features into a neutral expression, and his mouth curved up into a wicked grin. âWhy, Arthur,â he said, drawing it out longer than ever, âwho did you think I was to Lily?â
âI wasnât sure,â Arthur said, glaring.
âPerhaps I should have specified. I see youâve met my sister, Rosie, and this is my niece, Lily,â Eames announced, too amused for his own good.
Rosie called from the kitchen and through a cloud of steam, âStop teasing him. You know you should have said.â
âThough I find it slightly offensive,â Eames continued, looking at Arthur, âthat you thought I was frequently jetsetting around the world away from my wife and child, with another one on the way. Iâve worked with you four times over the last year.â
âI wasnât thinking that,â Arthur lied.
âYou wound me, Arthur,â Eames informed him, grey eyes quite serious. Arthur had no idea if heâd really offended him or not.
âWilliam,â Rosie said. âBe nice. And come and eat.â
They sat around the dining table, Lily in the high chair kicking her little legs out. The spaghetti was slightly overcooked but the sauce was warm and rich, and Arthur hadnât had anything to eat all day. Eames and Rosie bickered at each other lightly. Arthur could see it now, the similarities in their features and manner: their storm-coloured eyes, the drawl, their sarcasm and clear affection for each other.
âHave you known Will long, Arthur?â Rosie asked speculatively.
âYears,â Arthur said. âOn and off.â
âWe work together a lot,â Eames said, throwing a quelling look at Rosie. Perhaps he didnât want her to know about the work. âArthurâs here to offer me another job.â
âSorry it has to wait,â Rosie said apologetically. âWill promised heâd stay here until the babyâs born, which hopefully is in about three weeks as my feet canât take it anymore. My husbandâs stuck in Switzerland and he wonât be able to be here in time.â
âThatâs very⊠kind of him,â Arthur said.
Eames smiled smugly at this, as if he knew what it took for Arthur to admit this in public. âI know it is,â he said, preening. âI am in fact an extremely excellent brother.â
âSo,â Rosie said innocently. âArthur, this is actually quite novel. Iâm sure friends of Will have been in town before and heâs never brought them to dinner.â
âItâs just dinner,â Eames said.
âIs it?â Rosie asked.
âItâs not like that,â Eames said, annoyed now. âArthurâs a friend I trust. Thatâs rare.â
âIs he,â Rosie said, emphasizing the words.
Eames threw a look up to the heavens. Arthur swallowed another forkful of spaghetti. Rosie said, âIâm messing with you, Willy,â and ruffled his hair. Eames turned to throw another exasperated look at Arthur, like he was in on it with him.
Arthur realised heâd never seen Eames like this: fond, affectionate, loose and relaxed. On a job there was always the element of danger and Arthur saw it in the line of his shoulders, the glint in his eyes, and appreciated knowing there was someone else who was keeping an eye out, just like he always was. But now Eames was feeding Lily carefully, using a thumb to wipe the food dribbling down her chin, and kicking at his sisterâs chair. He looked at home here. It was something Arthur did not know how to process. It felt nonsensically like something inside him, not Eames, had been exposed to the world.
~~~
Arthur, having helped wash the dishes, opened the door to Eames sitting on the front steps. Eames quirked a brow and scooted slightly to the side, so Arthur sat down beside him.
âThanks for the help with the dishes,â Arthur said pointedly.
âI helped with dinner,â Eames said blithely.
Arthur held off the Barely and instead accused him, âYou said you had work here.â
âDid I?â Eames asked, turning towards him slightly. âI remember saying I was busy, and I had things to do here.â Thoughtfully, he decided, âI believe you implied that it was a job, darling.â
âWhatever,â Arthur said, feeling just slightly foolish about sounding like a teenager. âAnyway. I should get back.â
There was a little pause.
âShould you?â Eames asked. âYou said youâdâŠâ He made a little humming sound. âHang around here. Help out with the job.â
âWell,â Arthur said. âThere is no job.â
âI could still use some help.â Eames grinned rakishly, then it faded. âItâd only be a few weeks, and then weâd get on with it. I could show you around the city,â he said, looking down suddenly, up at Arthur again inscrutably. He ran his hand through his hair, looking unfairly good in the lamplight, softer, almost more uncertain. âYou said you hadnât seen much of it.â
Arthur didnât know what he was thinking. He was thinking, though, of how the Cobb job could wait, it wasnât urgent. How he did perhaps want to go to Saville Row itself, about how the city was grey but curious in the autumn light. How Eames looked in this apartment, easy and familiar and familial, and how perhaps it was strange, surreal, something heâd like to see more of.
He said, âI guess I havenât.â
~~~
Back in the hotel room, in the shower, he considered what heâd agreed to, which was nothing at all. Rosie had retired to bed, complaining that her back was killing her, and Eames had started to tend to a fussing Lily.
âYou donât have to leave now,â he had told Arthur.
âI donât want to get in the way,â Arthur said.
Lily sniffled in Eamesâs arms. He bounced her a little and looked at Arthur, something fond in it. âYouâre never in the way, darling.â
Lily let out a little cry. Arthur said, âPut her to bed.â
Eames had asked, âDo you have a hotel?â
âYes.â
âOkay then,â Eames said. Very casually, he said, âIâll see you soon?â
Arthur said, âI still need a tour guide,â and watched Eames smile. It had felt like more than a goodnight. He stepped out of the shower and changed into soft, silk pyjamas, settled himself into the bed.
The room was smaller than his last one, and it was sleeker, more modern. It had a mounted television and large, floor-to-ceiling windows. Arthur turned on his side and looked out the window at the calm expanse of city lights. At night London wasnât grey and dreary; at night it was like any other big city. He supposed a couple of weeks here wouldnât be so bad.
Arthur wondered if Eames was asleep, perhaps collapsed onto the futon, perhaps back in his own bed in his own apartment. He realised heâd essentially agreed to be taken around the city by him. Eames, forger extraordinaire, flirt and friend and bane of Arthurâs life. Taken around like it wasâsome kind ofâlike he was stepping out into town with his gentleman caller, or something. Arthur rolled back onto his back and stared up at the dark ceiling.
Probably it was because Eames had thrown him off today with the familyness of it all. Eames was usually sharp-edged like Arthur and usually thrived in loud casinos and bare-knuckled brawls and chaotic dreamscapes, and seeing him today so easy and relaxed, Arthur just hadnât recovered from it. But Eames would take him to a few overpriced tourist attractions, flirt and be ignored by Arthur, be familiar and uncomplicated to banter with, and then theyâd go back to work, to the dynamic Arthur knew and knew well.
~~~
Arthur woke up to his phone ringing. He mumbled something incomprehensible and squinted at the caller ID.
âEames,â he mumbled.
âRise and shine!â Eames said chirpily. âLily woke me up at six so now youâre up too. Iâll see you at the National Gallery at ten.â He hung up.
Arthur checked the time. Six fifteen. Bane of Arthurâs life, constant sigh caught in his throat. He set an alarm blearily and went back to sleep.
At nine fifty seven he was waiting at the entrance for Eames, who turned up at ten fifteen.
âArthur!â he said. He was wearing a shirt with large orange stripes down the sides, and his linen pants brushed against the floor. His hair was slicked back today.
âYouâre late,â said Arthur.
Eames smiled a bit. âI wasnât expecting you to show up.â
âWhy not?â
âI thought I was going to have to drag you from your hotel room,â said Eames. He looked Arthur up and down, slow and considering. âCome on, then.â
Eames wandered from room to room, asking Arthur things like, âDo you like this one?â and watching Arthur closely as he said âNo,â and âItâs interesting,â and âI guess.â They passed Vermeer, Titian, CĂ©zanne. Arthur liked Gossart, squinted at Monet, and paused in front of Matisseâs Portrait of Greta Moll. Greta stared somewhere off-right, sleeves rolled up and one elbow leaning against the table. She looked casual and impatient and restless, something about her spirit captured even through the broad brushstrokes.
âItâs like sheâs about to speak,â Arthur said. âLike sheâs about to say âare we done already?ââ
Eames huffed a little laugh. Arthur felt him, against his side, a warm bulky breathing presence. Eames always smelled like something light and woodsy, something clean and attractive. âIs that your favourite so far?â he asked.
âYes,â Arthur said. Eventually, he asked, âWhat do you like?â
âHrm,â Eames said. He rubbed a hand against his scruff, the scratchy sound louder in the quiet room. He brought Arthur up the stairs to Room 43. Johan Barthold Jongkindâs River Scene hung there and looked back at them.
Something about the scene was mournful: the darker colours, the singular man over the boat. Boats were on the riverbank and a ship was in the distance, everything bathed in colours that felt like evening. Arthur thought of the end of a long day.
âItâs peaceful,â Eames said.
âItâs lonely,â Arthur said.
They watched the painting.
âMaybe heâs setting off into the sunset,â Eames said. âOr maybe heâs cleaning up and going home.â He made a soft humming sound. âDonât you wonder? Itâs all up to him.â
Later, they went to a kebab shop a few streets down. There were only four tables there and it was dimly lit and smelled a lot like sanitiser, but it was the best kebab Arthur had ever had. Eames rubbed some mayonnaise off his own cheek with his thumb, said smugly, âI knew youâd like it.â
âUh huh,â said Arthur, unable to speak articulately around a mouthful of delicious doner.
âIâm going to make you love London,â Eames said, self-satisfied. âYouâre going to want to come here all the time.â
âMm-mm,â Arthur said, in lieu of Yeah sure. But I will admit this food is incredible and I might come back just for it.
âSo,â Eames said, casually after a few more bites, âhowâs Cobb?â
Arthur stiffened, just a bit. Cobb, the reason theyâd left each other irritated the last time. âDoing fine,â he said. âWith his kids.â
âWorking?â Eames asked.
âEames,â Arthur said warningly.
âHe should never work again,â Eames said shortly. âIf it were anyone else⊠I wouldnât be able to trust them again.â
This was the point in the airport bar where Arthur, head still full of Malâs manic eyes, her familiar voice, the thought of her children, had snapped, You wouldnât understand why he did it. Eames had turned cold, said snidely, My well of sympathy ran dry when he nearly drove us insane doing it.
âI know,â was what Arthur said now. If it had been anyone else Arthur would have driven them out of the industry. He stabbed furiously at a chip. âI know.â
Eames watched him but didnât press it, somehow knew not to press it.
~~~
On Tuesday Eames took him to the British Museum. He spent most of his time pointing out displays that were easier to steal than others. âItâs all okay,â he said to Arthur, âtheyâre all stolen anyway.â Arthur learned three new ways of getting past CCTV cameras after a museum was closed, watching Eamesâ plush mouth murmur illegal ideas delightedly at him, and considered it time well-spent.
On Wednesday he took him to the London Zoo. They spent most of their time with the bats, the rainforest enclosure. It was damp and humid there, made Arthur think of Singapore, or Indonesia. He liked the bats. They were soft, furry things and once in a while theyâd swoop over Arthurâs head. Eames enquired after the sloth and the spiders and spent a lot of time watching the rats scampering on the jungle floor.
On Thursday they went to the cinema. (âI thought we were going to Odeon,â Arthur said. He looked down at the dusty carpets and up the water stain he saw on the low ceiling. âDream bigger,â Eames said, and led him into a little hall with only four faded rows that smelled of stale popcorn.) The opening credits to In A Lonely Place started playing, and Eames settled back, mouthing along happily, âDix Steele, how are you?â To Arthur, he said, like a well-loved secret, âI used to come here after school.â Arthur thought of a younger Eames in his uniform, amongst these faded seats, large-eyed, wondering, amazed at the screen. Dreaming.
~~~
On Friday Arthur woke up without a call from Eames. Bleary-eyed, he texted him: No touristing today?
Eames replied rosie has checkup 2day gotta take her
Arthurâs fingers hovered over the screen. He typed back Whoâs watching Lily?
Eames said, she was gonna come w us but if ur volunteering 2 babysit
Arthur didnât have anything on, so he said out loud, âOkay.â He typed Okay.
Eames replied ???????? which didnât make any sense so Arthur got his clothes on and ordered a car over to Rosieâs house. Eames opened the door, Lily at his heels. He squinted at Arthur, squinting a little more, looking a little like Cobb with all the squinting. Arthur considered telling him that, but Eames, who could hold a grudge against dangerous incompetence, would probably not appreciate it very much.
âAr-fur,â Lily greeted him, while Eames squinted.
This seemed to jolt him into speech. âYouâre actually⊠babysitting.â
Arthur shrugged. âI babysit Cobbâs kids all the time. Hi, Lily.â
Rosie shouted, âWhoâs that?â
âArthurâs come to babysit,â Eames called over his shoulder, then turned back to do more squinting at Arthur.
âHas he!â Rosie said. âWhy didnât you tell me? Thatâs so nice Arthur. Lily hates the doctorâs office, I was already gearing up for a spectacular meltdown⊠come in. Will, let him in, why are you still out there?â
Eames pressed against the wall for Arthur to enter. Rosie came out, her bump looking even bigger, if that was possible, and started reeling off a list about Lily: lunch, playtime, nap, favourite toys, no sweets after four. âWeâll only be a couple of hours,â she said, âbut just in case the waiting is longerâŠâ Arthur nodded and kept up. Eames trailed after them, still quiet.
âLily, sweetie,â he said, after Rosie had grabbed her keys, thanked Arthur again, and headed out to the car, âbe good for Arthur. No messes please, heâll have a breakdown.â
Arthur rolled his eyes. Eames bent down to kiss her on top of her soft golden head, then straightened up, quite close to Arthur. He still looked vaguely puzzled, like he was trying to figure something out.
âPizzaâs in the fridge. No boys over, young lady,â he said after a moment, the corner of his ridiculous mouth curling up. Arthur rolled his eyes again with emphasis.
âSay bye bye now Lily,â he said, sinking down cross-legged on the carpet with her. She waved up at Eames and tugged at Arthurâs wrist, pointing at the box of blocks she wanted him to unpack for her.
âDonât miss me too much, darling,â Eames said, walking away.
~~~
Lily was a very charming child, stacking blocks up on top of each other and making noises that were sometimes words at Arthur. âSee, Ar-fur,â she said, constantly, waving a hand, so Arthur saw her construct a tall castle-like structure, ride a toy pony crashing through it with Eamesian dramatics. She took her lunch without fuss and watched an episode of Creatures of the Sea fascinatedly after, clapping at dark underwater images of the giant squid. Arthur studied her and thought she had Rosieâs brown curls, and her eyesâRosieâs eyes, Eamesâs eyes, stormy and grey-green and bright with intelligence.
But even very charming children realised that their mother and uncle had been gone for almost two hours, and began to cry about it.
âOh, Lily,â Arthur said. âI know. Theyâll be back soon.â
âMama,â she sobbed heartrendingly. âUnca Wew.â
Arthur took her in his arms. She went trustingly, but continued to cry. âDo you want to go to the playground, Lily?â She shook her head. âNo? Yeah, itâs probably naptime, isnât it?â He got up and started bouncing her gently like heâd seen Eames do. She wailed and wailed.
It reminded him of Philippa. It reminded him of Philippa, younger and fretful, with Mal saying âArthur, she hasnât stopped crying for ages!â and looking close to tears herself. Arthur had stayed with Philippa until sheâd stopped crying, her sobbing turning into hiccups, while Mal had snored on the sofa, drooling and relieved of her duties for a blessed few hours. Heâd stayed with James, too, and now he stayed with Lily, missing Mal abstractly and tiredly.
She fell asleep, finally, and three and a half hours after theyâd left, Eames and Rosie returned. Rosie made noises of gratitude, telling Arthur everything was fine medically, but she also seemed exhausted, going to the room and announcing that she was putting her feet up and no one disturb her until dinner please.
Eames stood there levelling that considering look heâd been using a lot on Arthur lately. âI didnât know you still babysat Cobbâs kids.â
Eames had known Mal, but distantly; heâd only known her through Cobb and work. Mal had stayed home more after the kids were born. Heâd known that Arthur had been her best friend, or at least heâd known they were close. The first job they worked after her death, heâd offered Cobb his condolences, but in a quiet moment heâd also told Arthur he was sorry.
Sometimes Arthur had complained about working with Eames to Mal. Mal had rolled her eyes and said âOh, Arthur,â and asked for a dossier on him. After looking through it sheâd just said, âOh, Arthur, oh, Arthur,â and from then on would just smile at him teasingly, smile at him like she was happy whenever Arthur complained. If she could see him now, in London, in Eamesâs territory, smiling over his niece⊠but she couldnât. Whatever thoughts sheâd gotten into her ridiculous romantic head, she was gone now, and Arthur was still here.
âYeah,â Arthur said. Suddenly it felt too warm in the cluttered living room, and he forced himself not to loosen his tie. He needed the coolness of his hotel room.
âWe owe you dinner,â Eames said, propped against the wall with his shoulder. His hands were shoved in his jeans; his head was bent, looking up at Arthur in a way that was very unprofessional, very inviting.
âActually Iâm going to head back,â Arthur said, picking up his jacket and avoiding his eyes. âIâll pick up something on the way.â
âOh. Hmm.â Eames shoved himself upright and didnât argue, like Arthur had thought he maybe would. âOkay, Arthur.â
~~~
On Saturday Eames didnât text him. Arthur lay in bed until eleven, which was unlike him, and ordered himself breakfast. It was an English Breakfast, whatever that meant, and the eggs were kind of runny, which Arthur didnât like, and the sausages were slightly too salty for his taste. Arthur had gotten used to his English meals over the past couple of days being little places where Eames knew the owners, where he would moan around mouthfuls and try not to blush at Eames watching him do it. Eames knew what he liked, that was what happened when youâd worked with each other coming up six years, and heâd been taken Arthur places he knew Arthur would enjoy.
Eames. Arthur turned his head and groaned into his pillow. This was why he kept his distance. Heâd always known Eames meant danger. The bane of Arthurâs life, thatâs what he was. It was all very well and good when Mal had been alive and it was a distant, maybe sort of delightful possibility to unravel, maybe in an abandoned warehouse when the rest of the team were taking the day off, maybe celebrating a job well done with whiskey in a dimly lit roomâŠ
But now Mal was gone, and Arthur couldnât forget it, couldnât forget the day heâd gotten the call and gone blank all over. Heâd loved Mal so fully and completely and he hadnât ever loved anyone like that before her, and heâd always knownâso had Malâthat if he allowed himself to, he would love Eames like that, except even fiercer, even fuller, with everything he had inside him. If a call like that came for Eames he would not be able to deal with it. He just wouldnât.
~~~
On Sunday Eames called. âHow do you feel about Camden?â he asked, sort of formally. He hadnât really asked before. Heâd demanded Arthurâs presence at the museum, the gallery, the cinema.
âI donât know much about Camden,â Arthur told him.
âWould you like to know more?â Eames asked very neutrally.
Arthur took a deep breath. Eames, neutral and asking, and Arthur was in too deep for no. âA tour guide would help.â
Camden was touristy and busy and sunny and noisy, full of bright stalls and small shops that promised a multitude of things from inside its doors. They walked along the market and Arthur peered at colourful little knickknacks that he wanted to take home to either his mantelpiece or Philippa. Eames pored over the covers of books with spines that looked like they were crumbling. Arthur eventually lost him in an antique store and he came out carrying a heavy long bronze giraffe, its neck as long as his arm.
âThis reminded me of you, darling! Look at how graceful and slender it is!â he exclaimed to Arthur, who resolutely refused to help him carry it home. Eames called him cruel and impetuously bought a shopping trolley to cart it along.
âYou know, I donât really mean to rag on Cobb,â Eames said later in the day, the giraffe trailing behind him patiently, Arthur pretending it wasnât there. He caught the look on Arthurâs face and amended, âOr, I do. I really do. Itâs just that itâs not just him. Itâs other people heâs risking, being in that frame of mind.â
âYeah, I know,â Arthur said, squinting away from the late afternoon sun and into Eamesâs direction. He did know. Eames was full of bullshit that drove Arthur wild for a myriad of reasons, but he was excellent, always professional, and Arthur trusted him with his body and his mind. Perhaps now that Cobb had done what he had, Eames was the only one he trusted with his body and his mind. âYou canât trust him. He put you in danger.â
âHe put you in danger, Arthur,â Eames said. He was looking fully at Arthur, storm-eyes steady and eyelashes tinged gold; Arthur swallowed and looked back. âAnd Iâm not very known for playing it safe, but surely you know by now thatâs a risk Iâm not willing to take.â
Arthur swallowed again.
The moment held.
Eamesâ phone rang.
âWhat? Rose, what?â he said. He looked urgent and intense, capable. Arthur took in a breath as the moment dissipated. âOkay. Okay. Iâll be there.â He hung up and fumbled with his screen. âI think sheâs in labour.â
âIâll stay with Lily,â Arthur said. Eames nodded at him distractedly and gratefully. When the car came he left his trolley behind in his hurry, so Arthur trailed it patiently after himself; Eames turned around and almost collided with him.
âArthur, you remembered,â he said, grabbing at the handle and smiling at him, the look bright and completely focused. âWhat would I do without you.â
~~~
Rosie was not in labour. It was false labour, Braxton Hicks contractions, and they returned home in the late evening. Lily had been coaxed to the park, begging Arthur to push her higher and higher on the swings, so she had hardly noticed their absence. She ran up and to her mother, grabbing at her leg. Rosie ruffled her hair and took her hand.
âSheâs supposed to be on bed rest,â Eames said. âRose, get in there right now.â
âI just want this thing out,â Rosie said bleakly, looking down at her belly.
They got her settled in her bedroom and she lay there, complaining once in a while about her back and her feet and her bladder and the general unfairness of the world. Eames, clearly trying to distract her, talked about the nurse who had given him directions to someone elseâs room and how heâd entered the room to a wide-eyed woman and her husband, who screamed at him in Italian to leave.
âWhat are you planning to call him?â Arthur asked, after Eames had exhausted his stories and Rosie looked more exasperatedly amused than frustratedly exasperated.
âWill,â Rosie said, smiling.
Eames frowned. âYou know I hate that name.â
âWell if you wonât use it anymore, I might as well give it to this kid,â Rosie said, unperturbed. To Arthur, she said, âWilliam Walliams wasnât a very good look for Mum and Dad, Iâll give him that.â
Arthur pressed his lips together, stifling the smile, but it wasnât as if he hadnât known Eamesâs unfortunate given name. Eames glanced at him, grimaced, and mumbled to Lily, who was sitting on his lap, âHope your brother stays in there for another week. See how Mama likes that.â
~~~
When Rosie fell asleep, Eames started making dinner. Arthur realised he hadnât really seen him cook before. He did it like he did most things, extravagant and intuitive, pouring salt and pepper into the pot without measuring it out, swiping gravy off the ladle with a finger and tasting it. He looked over at Arthur while he was doing this. Arthur heaved a sigh, looking heavenward. Eames laughed.
âYouâre good with Lily,â Eames said. âShe likes you.â Arthur was nodding as Lily drew on a pad, nudging her crayons away from the wood of the table. She was explaining her creations to him, gesticulating wildly.
âI like her,â Arthur said.
âSheâs going to miss you,â Eames said offhandedly, ladling food into bowls. âYou could visit again.â
Arthur determinedly kept his eyes on Lilyâs crayons. âWouldnât be safe, both of us coming here more. It wouldnât be safe for them.â
Eames considered this and visibly dismissed it. âWeâre competent. We know how to cover our tracks. You know nobody knows weâre here.â
âIs it really a good idea, when weâre in this business?â Arthur asked.
âSo we shouldnât live our lives at all because of our work, darling?â Eamesâs tone was light but there was an undercurrent to it that Arthur recognised from moments like Howâs Cobb? Arthur still didnât look up. He said, âIâm saying we should take precautions because of our work.â
âThat seems unfair to us.â Eames sounded firm and Arthur could imagine it, heâd seen Eames go tense before, his eyes sharp and his jaw set. It no longer sounded like they were talking about visiting Lily.
âItâs better than losing people you care about.â
âAh, Arthur,â Eames said, quietly. âSo this is what itâs about.â The temperature of the room had changed. Arthur felt cold.
âEames,â he said, a very quiet warning.
âI know sheâs gone, Arthur, but weâre still here.â Eamesâs voice was low and rough.
âEames. I donât want to talk about it.â
âMalâs gone,â Eames said, volume rising very slightly, âbut Iâm here Arthur, and youâre here, and weâre here. Canât we even talk aboutââ
âItâs not just that,â Arthur said, looking up. Eames had come closer. The counter separated them, only the counter and nothing but the counter. âIâll never be able to tell her about it. She was my best friend.â It felt awful saying was, and he hadnât exactly been able to confide in wild-eyed despondent Dom Cobb, so it was the first time he had said it out loud to someone. He forced the words out anyway. âShe was my best friend, and now sheâs gone.â
Eames just watched him, eyes creased and all fight gone, looking almost tender. Arthur almost couldnât stand it. âSo you see,â he said, but didnât know how to finish his sentence.
âSo I see,â Eames said anyway.
In the long silence that ensued Lily, perhaps sensing that there was something wrong, started fussing. Eames came around and put bowls on the table. Arthurâs stomach rumbled; he still felt slightly sick. Eames sat beside Lily, opposite Arthur, and started feeding her, talking to her in low, soothing tones. âSweetheart,â he was saying, âno really, itâs okay, drink this soup, I slaved over it. I learned this recipe from your grandmother, you know. I know you prefer your dad feeding you but heâll be back soon and for now youâve got me and my woefully inadequate soup. Sorry about that. Look, Arthurâs eating too.â
Arthur put a spoon to his mouth automatically. But the soup was good and warm and hearty, chicken broth that made him want more. After a while he took another spoonful.
âThere, there,â Eames said, âArthurâs eating too. And he likes it.â
âI like it,â Arthur admitted.
âLook, Lily-girl, your Uncle Willâs done it again,â Eames said. He was talking to Lily still, but his voice was calm and steady, his words nonsensical, glances thrown Arthurâs way as if he was trying to soothe him as well. âReally, Lily, is there anything I canât do? Iâm going to teach you all I know, too, donât worry. Pick a lock and everything, but donât tell your mother.â
âPick a lock,â Lily repeated perfectly.
âAw, Lil,â Eames said. âWhat did I just say?â
Arthur wished he didnât feel better. Eames not pushing, Eames just there, Eames who had cooked him dinner. Eames who was being soothing and sweet, Eames who knew how to love a child, Eames who was being unfailingly patient with him. If he didnât feel better, then Eames wouldnât be able to infiltrate his defences like this.
~~~
In his hotel room Arthur called Cobb. London was eight hours ahead, so Cobb sounded chirpy when he asked, âArthur? Whatâs wrong?â Voices shrieked in the background.
âNothing. Eames is finishing up with some work. Weâll be there in about three weeks,â Arthur said.
âThatâs fine,â Cobb said. âI told you it wasnât a rush. Did you call to talk to the kids?â
Arthur hadnât really, but he found himself saying âYeah, yeah.â Cobb shouted into the distance, âArthurâs on the phone!â
James got on first. âUncle Arthur!â he said. âWhen are you coming back?â
âVery soon, buddy,â said Arthur. James told him about the Lego set heâd just gotten, and the new kite, and the telescope set. Privately Arthur thought Cobb was spoiling them slightly too muchâMal would never have stood for itâbut he supposed as Cobb hadnât seen them in a year, it was fine.
âItâs my turn!â Philippa was saying from some distance away.
âBye Uncle Arthur,â James said quickly. âCome back soon.â
âVery soon,â Arthur promised again. Philippa came on. âUncle Arthur,â she said. âI miss you.â
Arthur loved these children, not only because of Mal, but because he loved these children. He had rocked them both to sleep. James had banged his knee up for the first time and wailed âUncle Arthur!â, high and pained. Philippa had taken her first steps toward Mal, but then sheâd turned unsteadily towards him.
It had been hard for Arthur to visit them over the past year: he admitted this to himself now. Philippa had Cobbâs rare wide sunny smile but she also had Malâs eyes, her way of tucking her hair back behind her ear. James accidentally spoke French sometimes because Mal had communicated with them almost exclusively in it. When Arthur had visited, he had had to turn away from them a lot so they wouldnât see his face. It was easier not to visit.
âI miss you, Phil,â he found himself saying. âIâll see you in about three weeks, I promise.â
âDad is being weird,â she complained. âHe keeps giving us stuff.â
âShouldnât turn your nose up at free stuff,â Arthur said.
âHe got me a Barbie!â she said. âIâm seven.â
âIâll talk to him,â Arthur assured her.
She told him about school and her friends and Marie, who dropped by at unexpected times to suspiciously check on Cobbâs parenting skills. Arthur sympathised with her over a particularly strict teacher, told her that an argument with a friend would blow over, and laughed a little over Marie, who was fond of Arthur and still texted him time to time. He said goodbye and told her he loved her. He went to sleep thinking Mal, you did something right. Mal, theyâre still here.
~~~
At eight the next morning Arthur called Eames.
âArthur?â Eames rumbled, voice sleep-rough. âArthur,â he said, going from sleepy to worried, âare you alright?â
âPeople keep asking me that,â Arthur said. âHave I not been alright?â
Eames chuckled, warm, in his ear. âNot really, darling,â he said.
âWell,â Arthur said. âI was just wondering if you would like to go out today.â
âWhere?â asked Eames.
Arthur had done some research. Eames probably knew this place, but Arthur wanted to take him to it. He sent Eames the location.
âOkay,â said Eames, his voice giving nothing away. âIâll be there.â
Arthur knew Eames, with all his artistâs soul, loved poetry. Arthur knew that once in a run-through Eames had dreamt up the sea, drifting in a little boat, book in his hand while Arthur had waited out Cobb in another level. Arthur had seen the painting Eames liked in the Tate.
Arthur knew this wasnât close, but he turned up at the canal at two. Eames was already there, inscrutable under his shades, wearing a bright pink shirt with palm trees on it, loose pants that were probably only held up with suspenders and luck. âWhat is this place, darling?â he asked.
âItâs a small library on a boat,â Arthur said, shrugging. âA community thing. I thought youâd like to read, maybe. Later thereâll be kids from school. But itâs quiet in the mornings and afternoons, itâs out of the way.â On the boat there was a wooden platform with sunchairs and pillows, to read. The sun streamed wispily down on them.
âHmm,â Eames said. He ducked into the boat. Arthur waited, listening to the animated voices inside: Eames and the woman who owned the little library.
Fifteen minutes later he came out, shades off and with a slim blue book in his hand. He was grinning. âArthur,â he said, âdo you know what they have?â Arthur didnât get to know what they had, because Eames leapt onto the platform and threw himself down onto the platform, sliding a cushion under his head. He opened the book up.
Arthur ducked inside the boat and smiled at the woman. Books littered the counter, the shelves, the carpet, her arms; books clearly well-beloved and well taken care of. He spent his time selecting something familiar, smiling at Khadijahâher tag readâwhen she said, nodding at his choice of book, âClassic.â
Settling down in the deck chair beside Eames and looking out at the canal, Arthur observed the trees in the park on one canal bank, and back gardens of houses on the other. His gaze drifted down. Eames was so still and heavy-lidded Arthur would have thought he was asleep, if it hadnât been turning a page every so often.
He looked calm, peaceful. He did not look lonely. Arthur looked down at his own book.
And wishes, had he any?
Just his sigh, accented,
Had been legible to me.
And was he confident until
Ill fluttered out in everlasting well?
Out of the corner of his eye, Eames placed his slim volume of poetry down on his chest. âDo you want to hear a bit of it?â he asked.
âSure,â Arthur said.
Eames picked it up again and began to read, voice low like a secret.
âIf you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,
donât hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty
of lives and whole towns destroyed or about
to be. We are not wise, and not very often
kind. And much can never be redeemed.â
He did hesitate then, looking up at Arthur, something indecipherable in his eyes. Arthur kept still, head slightly turned toward him.
âStill, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this
is its way of fighting back, that sometimes
something happens better than all the riches
or power in the world. It could be anything,
but very likely you notice it in the instantâŠâ
Eames took a breath and continued steadily, âIn the instant
when love begins. Anyway, thatâs often the case.
Anyway, whatever it is, donât be afraid
of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.â
Eames stopped reading. A moment later, he turned the page, eyes still firmly on the book.
The sky above him was clear and he looked so safe and solid, his large hands steady, his jaw so well-cut. He looked painfully handsome, lying there like a figure in a painting, one of the classics lovingly rendered. Heâd waited for Arthur and he was waiting more, patient with it and letting Arthur come to him.
âEames,â Arthur said, rough.
âArthur,â Eames said gently. âItâs really all right.â
Arthur was afraid. He knew he was. He wanted to be. Joy would never be a crumb for him. When he allowed himself to love Eames he would do it fully and completely. This was a scary, scary thing. The call in the middle of the night, the things the people you loved could leave behind. Arthur knew the real fact of the matter was that even so, it was too late for him.
Eamesâs phone rang.
Arthur wondered why this kept happening.
âRosie,â he said, getting to his feet. âOkay, okay, okay, calm down and give me fifteen.â To Arthur he shot a wry look, the moment between them quietly broken, and said, âThis could finally be it.â
~~~
It was it. Eames called an hour later to inform Arthur these were real contractions, not just fancily named ones. Lily was louder today, sucking her thumb and saying âAr-fur,â tottering over to be picked up, as if she was already worried that attention from grownups would now irrevocably be split between her and a new sibling.
Arthur made her dinner and let her watch another episode of Creatures of the Sea. She watched the goblin shark with a measure of fascination, Arthur narrowing his eyes at the creepy looking creature, and then Arthur put her to bed. Beside the bed sat a copy of Frog and Toad Are Friends, which Arthur picked up and read to her. Outside, the evening drew on, and Arthurâs voice grew hoarse. He wanted to finish the story anyway.
âToad was very pleased to have it,â he concluded finally, and realised she was asleep. He smiled slightly, pulling up the blankets around her, feeling intensely fond. Switching off the lights he said, âNight, Lily.â
He was tired too, only realising it after having settled on the sofa and yawning, loud and satisfying. Between one moment and the next, he had fallen asleep.
At around six am his phone rang. âHeâs here!â Eames announced. âHealthy as anything and crying likeâwell, heâs crying like a baby. Rosieâs good, sheâs sleeping. You and Lily can come in a couple of hours. Darling, wait till you meet him. Heâs perfect.â
He sounded like Cobb, calling Arthur up once, then twice a couple of years later. The pride in his voice. Mal, on the phone next, exhausted but chattering to Arthur about Philâs little thumbs and her little toes, Jamesâs wrinkled pink smile. Arthur hadnât been there for either of their births, had been off working, but heâd been there for Philippaâs first steps, there when James had fallen down. His best friend was gone, but Arthur would always have that.
âIâm sure you think he is,â Arthur said. âHeâs named after you, isnât he?â
âDarling,â Eames said, sounding wildly delighted that Arthur was flirting back.
âWeâll be there in a couple of hours,â Arthur told him. He put down the phone and couldnât stop smiling.
~~~
There were nerves in the pit of his stomach. It was like heâd made a decision, or like the decision had been made for him. Eames laying gently back, his large hands holding the little book, reading low and smooth, everything Arthur could now admit to himself he had wanted to come home to for some time now. The sun in his hair and his eyes lovely as the sea. Whatever happened, Arthur would have had this.
Lily woke fretting about Rosie, but was quickly calmed when Arthur informed her they were going to see her mother and her little brother. âWew,â she tried out, tugging on her shoes.
âYes, Lily, Wew,â Arthur said, bundling her safely into Rosieâs car.
They reached the hospital and Eames was waiting for them outside. His hair looked sort of greasy, sort of like heâd run his hands through it many times. He looked like he hadnât slept. Arthur kind of wanted to kiss him, and thought perhaps he might.
He stopped short when Eames said, âMy parents are here.â He looked wry. âThey thought they couldnât make it, but they got here hours early. Anyway, they just arrived. Heads up.â
That was all the warning Arthur got before the doors opened again and two people Arthur assumed were Eamesâs parents came hurrying out. Robert Walliams was short and pleasant-faced, smiling, and Cora Walliams was taller, still golden-haired, assessing Arthur and Lily with a look in her eyes Arthur would almost describe as shrewd. They stopped short when they reached Eames.
âThis is Arthur,â Eames said very formally, but he raised an eyebrow at Arthur like he was amused. âArthur, this is my mum and dad.â
âArthur,â Robert said affably. Cora said, âThank you for taking care of Lily, Arthur.â
âIt was great, sheâs lovely,â Arthur said, setting Lily down so she could toddle up to her grandparents.
âYou work with Arthur, son?â Robert asked, sounding very British and dad-like. He reached forward with a hand.
Arthur nodded, taking it. âOn and off,â he said, feeling strangely nervous.
âWillâs has never brought a friend back before,â Cora said, sounding very like Rosie, looking at Arthur with Eamesâs gimlet-eyed gaze.
âCanât use that name anymore,â Eames said, ânow that Rosieâs stolen it for baby William.â
âBut youâll always be the first William, dear,â Cora said reassuringly. Eames sighed. âAnyway, Arthur,â she said, placing her arm in his. âWhere are you from?â
She kept up a steady stream of conversation as they re-entered the hospital, all the way up to Rosieâs room, whereupon she started cooing over her grandson. Lily ran to her mother. Arthur, slightly stunned, realised she had coaxed out of him how many siblings he had, his motherâs career, and how he felt about London (and probably also how he felt about Eames). He realised quite suddenly this was where Eames had begun to learn to wheedle information out of people. Exchanging a look with Eames, who looked slightly apologetic, he approached Rosieâs side.
Rosie, flushed and tired and triumphant, handed baby William over to him.
âIsnât he perfectly darling?â she asked.
âVery,â Arthur agreed, because baby William lay sleeping and red-faced in his arms, indeed perfectly darling.
âAnd youâll come back and visit him of course,â Rosie said, looking up at him.
âOf course,â he promised.
âEames will make sure of it,â said Cora, perfectly sure herself.
âOnly if Arthur wants,â Eames said patiently.
Cora smiled over at Arthur like she could see ten years into the future. âArthurâs smart,â she said. âHe knows good things are worth keeping.â
Then Charlie, Rosieâs husband, arrived in a bustle of wild hair and riotous happiness, and Lily started crying at the sight of this interloper of a brother taking up her fatherâs attention, and everything became very bustling and extremely chaotic.
Arthur backed away a bit, into the waiting room, to give them some space. He waited there a little while with the magazines before Eames came out.
âSorry about my mother,â he said, joining Arthur by the water cooler.
âSheâs very like you,â Arthur told him.
âIâll take that as a compliment. Arthur,â Eames said, abruptly, turning towards him, âeveryoneâs here. So they donât need me. Iâll probably stay a few more days, but we can go do the job soon.â
âThe job,â Arthur repeated blankly.
Eames frowned. âThe one you came all the way here for. Arthur, I know Iâve brought you around and⊠tried to woo youâŠâ He stood up, restless.
âTried to woo me,â Arthur repeated. âWoo me.â
âWoo you, court you, take you around town.â Eames tilted his head, caught Arthurâs eyes. The hospital noises around them faded into the background. Earnest, tender, Eames said, âBut I know itâs been hard. I didnât mean to pressure you, darling. I know youâve been grieving. We can do the job. You can take all the time you need.â
âAh,â Arthur said. They would go do the job in a few days. Then what? Would they fall back into that pattern, bickering and push-and-pull, glances at Eamesâs back and a sandwich just the way he liked it on his desk, checking on whether he was alive from across the world? He tried to summon the bravery heâd felt on the way to the hospital.
âDarling, itâs okay,â Eames said uncertainly, watching him again. Lower, like a secret, he said, âI really can wait.â
Arthur knew he could wait. He had waited. He could read the truth in the questioning bow of Eamesâs bottom lip: he would wait. But if you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, donât hesitate. Give in to it. It flooded into Arthur's stomach, his lungs, his heart. Mal, youâre gone, but look at me, Iâm still here. Youâre gone and youâll never see how happy I will be but itâs enough that I know what youâd say because I knew you so well. Itâs enough that your children live and I love them. You love and you lose. You love again.
âWell I canât,â Arthur said, so he took Eamesâs lovely, surprised face into his hands, giving into his eyes, an endless sky and an unending river. He reached up to kiss him.
~~~
âI have a confession,â Arthur said, âThis job⊠itâs a favour to Cobb.â
Eames kept his gaze on him. âOh,â he said. âAnother of Dominic Cobbâs messes.â
âIâm sorry,â Arthur said.
âAre you?â Eames said consideringly. He leaned in slowly closer, murmuring it into the shell of Arthurâs ear. âHow sorry? Will you make it up to me?â
Arthur leaned back. âYou knew,â he said accusingly.
âI suspected, so I asked him,â Eames said, grinning. âSo youâve been manipulating me all this time. All of this has just been because Cobb owed someone and you feel you owe Cobb.â
âNot all of it,â Arthur said. âNot all of it.â
Behind Eames the sky, pinkish blues, was turning into morning. They were only a matter of hours away from LA and it felt like it, felt like hovering over wide plains and wider homes. Arthur had a hotel room booked for them. It was old in a way that suggested comfort, slightly faded carpets but wood paneling to die for.
He had a hotel room booked and James to fly a kite with, Phil to listen to intently as she grew up quicker than he entirely liked. Eames would teach her how to pick a lock. When the job was done maybe theyâd go back to see Lily and Will and Rosie for a bit.
âI havenât seen much of LA, you know, darling,â Eames said, nuzzling behind his ear. He was lying, but Arthur smiled anyway. âI could use a tour guide.â
~~~
To Know Just How He Suffered Would Be Dear, Emily Dickinson
Donât Hesitate, Mary Oliver
Frog and Toad Are Friends, Arnold Lobel
Mood tbh
Doom 2099 (2019) #1
beloved body, compass, polestar
âThanks,â Dean said distractedly, but his gaze caught on the pillar heâd nearly been backed into when the light and the something had shoved him aside. There was a sharp long nail there, protruding from the wood. âSam, did youâ did you see that?â
15x20 fix it fic