#snowing ff

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“You don’t look so hot, mate,” Killian quipped at David a few days later. They were eating breakfast at the loft, trying to find some sense of normalcy despite the ongoing sense of doom. Emma and Snow were doing some wedding planning at the table, but David looked like he was about to lose his meal.

“I must have ate too fast or something,” David brushed off. “Just feeling a bit nauseous.”

“Have any ginger tea around? That’s what we’d always give a seasick sailor.”

“Yeah, I think we have some leftover from when Snow was pregnant; I’ll give it a try.”

When the tea kettle began to hiss a few minutes later, Killian too requested a mug.

“Maybe there’s a stomach bug going around?” David wondered as he sipped his tea.

“Just what we need,” Killian complained.

Their thoughts seemed to be confirmed not an hour later, when both men were dashing for the toilet.

Snow and Emma told them to stay home that day and rest, and made sure they were well stocked with ginger ale and saltines as they went off for the day, taking baby Neal with them. They spent the rest of that day and the following one splitting their time between the bathroom and the couch as the illness held a grip on them, though it started to loosen its hold later in the second day.

“Thank bloody goodness,” Killian sighed as he slumped into bed that night, finally feeling normal again, even if his midsection still felt sore. He was ready to put that behind him and get back to the task at hand.

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The next day, they’d convened at the Swan-Jones house around lunchtime to work on things. Snow was already there when David arrived.

“Why did you change your pants?” she asked when he came in. “Did Neal spit up on your jeans?”

“No, uh,” David stammered, looking down at the track pants he’d changed into that he’d hoped no one would notice. “Uh, they were feeling a little snug today, so I put these on instead.”

“Too many pancakes will do that,” Killian quipped as he set out some sandwiches for lunch.

David rolled his eyes, but tried to take the attention of him and redirect it. “I don’t see you giving Killian any crap for wearing a tshirt instead of his usual getup,” he grumbled at Snow.

Now it was Killian’s turn to blush.

“No, babe, he’s right—are you feeling okay? Is the stomach bug still bothering you?” Emma asked.

“Er, no, just—I may have had a similar problem as Dave, as far as clothes fitting properly,” he explained scratching behind an ear.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Snow said, confused. “You’ve barely been able to hold anything down the last two days; if anything, your clothes should be a little loose.”

“Um,” Emma started, running her hands up and down Killian’s abs. “Then what’s this solid thing in my fiance’s belly?”

Snow turned to David and found the same: something was rounding out his stomach from within, and it had nothing to do with poor diet. “Maybe we should head to the doctors,” she said quietly, worry filling her gaze as she found her husband’s.

Emma silently agreed, hugging Killian close. What the hell was this?

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Whale had quickly determined they’d need to do an ultrasound. David went first. And whatever they thought they were about to see was not what showed up on the sonogram screen.

“That’s…” Emma started, but couldn’t finish her sentence.

“Yeah,” Snow breathed.

Even Killian recognized the image: there was a baby in there. He wrapped his arm around his stomach; was that what he had, too?

David had to stay seated after the revelation, and a few minutes later, the exam on Killian revealed the same: they were both impossibly, inexplicably pregnant.

“From the looks of things, you’re at about 14, 15 weeks,” Whale said. But then he squinted at the screen. “Wait...what?” He stared at it some more, then had an assistant zoom in on the image. “Wow, I can actually see it growing; something is accellerating this—by a lot.”

“What the hell?” Emma murmured.

“Bloody magic,” Killian sighed, staring at the ceiling.

“That’s where I’d put my money,” Whale agreed.

Snow nodded, but her pallor was living up to her name. “Okay, okay...let’s call Regina.”

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They’d barely entered Regina’s mansion when the mayor wrinkled her nose.

“Wow—I can smell the dark magic rolling off of you. What did you boys get into?”

“If we knew, we wouldn’t be here, would we?” Killian snapped back. He wasn’t sure if his short temper was caused by the stress of the situation or the normal emotional fluctuations he knew were part of pregnancy, but he didn’t really care—especially when, now that he knew, he was fairly certain he could feel the fluttering of the fetus inside him.

“Calm down—she’s the only one who can help us!” David yelled at him, similarly distressed. He wrapped an arm around his waist; he was pretty sure he could see his belly growing.

“Everyone just take a breath,” Snow said, oddly calm. “Regina, can you figure this out?”

“Come on; let’s have a seat.” She directed the boys to the sofa in her study, then stood in front of them, one hand extended to each as she magically examined them. Her eyes were closed in concentration and they could only watch as her expression morphed into a furrowed one, then as she raised her brows in surprise before finally opening them.

“Well, damn. That’s all I can say.”

“Uh, you can say more than that, right?” Emma asked, moving to Killian’s side and grabbing his hand.

“I was getting to that,” Regina retorted. “It’s definitely dark magic, but what kind, I’m not sure; I’ve only heard of things like this happening—never seen them. And there is an accellerant, like what you used on Zelena,” Regina explained, nodding at Emma, who suddenly looked sheepish. “But a much lower concentration.”

“So...do you have a due date?” Snow wondered.

“My guess? It looks like it’s going at about 20 times the normal speed, which means the entire duration would be 2 weeks-ish—roughly 3 weeks of a normal pregnancy per day. Did the doctor say how far along?”

“About 15 weeks,” David said quietly.

“So it’s been 5 days,” Regina assessed. “So, you’ve got 9 more or so to go.”

“Bloody hell,” Killian cursed. What the hell was going on?

“Emma, you need to get these two into a safe location. Someone is targeting you for some reason. Wherever you go, set up wards as soon as you get there,” Regina told them, taking command of the situation. “Snow, you’re with me. I think we need to pay a Dark One a visit.”

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A few hours later, everything was settled for the Nolans to be spending the next several days at Killian and Emma’s house. Neal was settled into one of the spare rooms, while another was reserved to become a new nursery. Emma honestly never thought they’d get the chance for that, and obviously not in the way it was happening, but as terrifying as this all was, she couldn’t deny—she was a little excited, too.

The guys were squabbling over what to order on pizza—Killian wanted anchovies, David wanted olives, which was a change from their normal preferred pepperoni—when Snow and Regina arrived.

“Well?” Emma asked, setting out plates on the dining table.

Regina huffed. “Gold says he knows nothing, and unless it has to do with Gideon, he’s not concerned. He didn’t say it wasn’t his mother, though, and that’s my only theory at the moment.”

“Why would she do this, though?” David wondered aloud.

“Because she’s evil and sadistic?” Killian offered.

“I’m guessing the truth lies somewhere in there,” Regina mediated. “There’s one thing I can say, though, that I forgot to earlier: those are your babies.”

“Like...ours?” Snow asked, wrapping an arm around David’s side.

“Yeah. Those kids have ‘true love’ written all over them. So it may not be the full ‘why’, but it’s definitely part.”

“Thanks, Regina,” Emma said, giving Killian a hug. “You want to stay for pizza?”

“Ew. No. I have lasagna waiting at home.”

“Okay, have fun with that then.”

“I will. And guys?” she added, eyes flitting between Killian and David. “Take care of yourselves, and good luck.”

“We will.” “Thanks, luv.”

Regina headed out, and the four of them settled in to what was going to be a new normal for the next several days.

“To new adventures,” Snow offered as a toast, albeit tentatively.

The other three mumbled it back, but as they quietly ate, they began to realize just how dramatic a ride they were in for.

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“Say ‘cheese’!” Snow said with forced cheer.

“Cheese,” was the less-enthusiastic response from the guys.

They were standing back-to-back against a blank wall in the living room with their shirts lifted up to reveal the slight curve of their stomachs. For two men who’d always prided themselves on their looks, it felt awkward to be revealing themselves this way, even if they knew what it was.

“Come on, you two,” Snow complained. “Yeah, it’s weird and it’s probably gonna suck, but 10 years from now, we’re going to want to have this documented. Play along?” She said it like a question, but they both knew it was a demand, so they put on some smiles and posed. “Okay; let’s try to do that morning, noon, and night.”

“Seriously?” Killian whined.

“Just do it,” David said under his breath.

And so began the first day of their strange journey. The plan was for the boys to stay at home with Neal while the girls kept things as normal as possible. Snow came by at lunch to check in, and Granny stopped by in the afternoon with some snacks to get them through; they’d told her given that she was one of the few people in town they trusted. Everyone else was just told they were fighting off the flu.

By the end of the first day, Killian knew he was going to have trouble making it through. His ankles hurt and already his tshirt was ready to pull taut against his growing stomach. David wasn’t much better off—his back was aching from the combination of everything going on in his body and Neal’s refusal to be put down that day.

“I wish there was some way to make this a little more...interesting,” he complained to Killian. “I can’t even have a beer, dammit.”

“I’d say this is plenty interesting already,” Killian answered, hand resting low on his belly, not far from where he could feel intense flutters within. “But...perhaps we could set up some wagers?”

“What are you thinking?”

“Who has the biggest belly? Who goes into labor first? Something like that?”

“You’re on, man.”

So, when Snow took their photos that night, they started keeping track of circumference, too—if only to have numerical evidence of all the changes going on.

Their bellies were tied at the start of the next morning, but by nighttime—at what would be 21 weeks in a normal pregnancy—Killian had pulled ahead by a couple centimeters.

But David had more exciting news. “Oh!” he exclaimed, resting his hand on the curve of his stomach. “Snow, come here!”

“What is it?” she asked, rushing over.

“Feel!” David grabbed her hand and put it next to his.

“Oh—oh my god! It’s kicking!” Snow was grinning. “Wow, it’s so fast—faster than these other two were,” she said, nodding at Emma, who was holding Neal.

“I mean, it should be, right?” Emma said.

Killian was woken in the middle of the night by what he had to assume was the same fast-paced wiggling in his own belly—and promptly woke Emma up, too.

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Their growing stomachs quickly revealed another problem: they were going to outgrow their clothing soon, probably by the next day if not before then.

“I’ll see what I can find in the shops in town,” Emma offered. “But...they don’t exactly make male maternity wear.”

“Maybe some of my old tops would fit Killian?”

“Maybe; just leave the dresses at home.”

“Obviously. Though he could probably rock them.”

“I think I’ll leave that one to you, milady,” Killian quipped back. By that night, he was definitely nearing capacity in his tshirts and was eyeing David’s, hoping to take it when he outgrew them.

“Look at you boys,” Granny gushed. “You carry it all out in front of you, Hook; and Charming—what a cute bump!”

They both blushed as she handed over the bag of pastries, but it was kind of comforting to hear such normal reactions.

Now that the babies had started moving, it seemed like they never stopped; it was probably due to the accellerated nature of their pregnancies, but it grew old rather quickly (as did their frequent trips to the rest room).

“I mean, at least we know they’re growing,” David decided in the middle of the 9th day—somewhere around 26 weeks. “I know that this all started with some dark magic, but I already love this one.”

“Me too, mate. I’ve...I’ve worried that Emma and I would never get this. Whatever lies ahead, at least we have this.” Lovingly, he traced his hand over the growing curve of his belly.

After his shower the next day, Killian was gazing at his reflection. It looked so odd—granted, he already knew that from Snow’s continued documentation (and he still had the lead in circumference), but there was also something somehow perfect about it. He knew that, given the choice, he’d willingly do this if that was what it took for them to have a child. But in the current situation, he only worried for the future.

And then he turned to the side and his tune quickly changed. Nevermind, this monster was destroying his body.

He was in a foul mood when he slumped down in a chair for breakfast. “What’s got you down?” Snow asked from her perch at the stove, making eggs.

“Oh, nothing; just realizing that beauty is temporary and my body will never again be the same.”

She turned down the burner and moved the eggs to the counter. “You’ve got stretch marks, huh?”

“Aye.”

“Do you want to see mine? I’ve got to imagine you’ve seen Emma’s.”

“Yes, I have—and no, you don’t have to. Just...it’s jarring.”

Snow set a plate down in front of him. “I get that. But you’re both doing so well; you can do this.”

“I sure hope so.”

David followed a few minutes later with similar grumbles. Snow wasn’t as gentle with him. “Try dealing with them from two babies!”

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Ten days into this ordeal, still no one had seen or heard from the Black Fairy in weeks. In reverse of that, Emma’s visions and tremors had yet to abate. She woke every night whimpering at the dreams that haunted her, and though she tried to hide it from Killian, he picked up on everything right away.

Though he was into his second trimester and it made it harder for him to hold and comfort her the way he wanted to, he did his best, and she seemed to glean some comfort from the constantly moving baby within him.

Late at night at the end of the 11th day, she’d woken again and Killian had brought her into his side as much as he could; their joined hands lay on top of his round belly.

“I’m scared,” she whispered into his shoulder.

“I know, love; me too,” he admitted.

“I’m so worried—about you, about the kid—about...that I might not be able to be here for this kid, and I’ll leave Henry…” He felt a tear wet the fabric of his (well, Dave’s) shirt, and knew his own would be joining it soon—damn these hormones.

“My darling, if I have anything to say about it, that won’t happen. I won’t stop until we can have the future we’ve fought for and dreamed of.”

“I know, I know; but this complicates things—we have someone else to think about now,” she countered, tracing his stomach.

“It does, yeah; but have hope—we’ll figure this out.”

“You sound like my mom.”

“A wise woman.”

“Yeah, she is.”

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The sun rose and fell on the 12th day, and it seemed like their babies were now in a sprint to the finish line; both bellies grew a few inches just in one day. When David flopped down on their bed that night, massaging the globe that was his abdomen, his anxieties were racing. For one, they still had Emma’s fate hanging over their head; two, he was exhausted from looking after Neal while this new baby was playing football with his kidneys; and three, they only had a little more than a day left in this ordeal. He and Killian had done their best to get the nursery ready here, and he knew Emma and Snow had set up an extra crib back at the loft. Belle had brought over some of the baby things she hadn’t gotten to use on Gideon for Emma & Killian, and they hadn’t gotten rid of any of Neal’s stuff yet, so everyone would probably be set.

It was just...a lot.

He sighed heavily as Snow came in and settled on the bed next to him. “What was that for? Kick to the bladder?” She started to massage his belly; her touch was heavenly on his strained muscles.

“No. Just...everything. Emma, and Neal, and this one...how are we gonna do this?”

“Together, of course.”

He scoffed a bit. “Yeah, but I’m the only one who’ll be giving birth here and Snow...I’m not sure I can do it.”

She gave him a sidelong glance. “If I could do it twice, you can do it once.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not that; I’m...I’m not as strong as you are, Snow. I don’t know how I’ll get through it.”

“Hey.” Her tone was surprisingly stern. “You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And you know I’ll be there right at your side; you’ve got nothing to worry about—I promise.”

“Well, okay. But only because you promised.”

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Things were tense the next day, knowing that the babies could come at literally any moment. Emma and Snow stayed home and hovered over the guys nervously, jumping at any noise or movement from them. They’d both been experiencing some Braxton-Hicks-like contractions over the last day or so, but no one knew what to expect with this.

Killian still had the advantage by several centimeters in their belly circumference competition; though it had only been days, he already couldn’t remember what his feet looked like and was sure the way his large, round stomach was straining against David’s shirt looked absolutely ridiculous. But he did get an odd comfort from hugging his belly and feeling the way his baby still moved about, even if the way he or she was now resting low on his hips made it difficult to move with any ease or speed.

David was honestly surprised that Killian’s belly was bigger, because with as large as he felt, he was sure he’d win that challenge. And given the way he’d been addicted to anything sugary or salty over the last couple weeks, he knew he’d probably done some damage to his body that had nothing to do with this kid. He had to admit, though, that he hadn’t completely hated this; it wasn’t anything he ever expected, and having two kids so close in age was going to be an adventure in its own right, but feeling and seeing this one grow inside him was, honestly, really cool.

Late in the afternoon—approaching the 39-week mark—both men kept shifting in their seats uncomfortably.

“Killian, do you think it’s time?” Emma asked, bringing him a tall glass of ice water; he was sweating a bit, but no more than he had been the last couple days.

“I’m really not sure,” he answered, taking a long sip. “I guess we wait and see?”

David, who had been wincing on and off all day, suddenly groaned and doubled over. “Well, I’m not. I think...I think my water just broke.”

“Oh, shit,” Emma cursed, and Snow ran in from the kitchen to inspect. One look at his (size XXXL) sweatpants told her all she needed to know.

“Yup. You’re in labor.”

A minute later, Killian did the same thing, crying out in pain.

“Shit, you too?” Emma asked?

“Seems so, love,” Killian said through a wince.

Of course, there was a knock at the door just then. Emma fussed over the guys while Snow ran to get it.

She threw open the door in her panic. “Granny, hi; now isn’t a good time,” she greeted the old wolf. “They both just went into labor.”

“Oh?” Granny seemed surprised, but oddly not stressed—or even remotely like herself. “Well, isn’t that perfect.”

“What?” Snow was suddenly very confused, especially as Granny barged past her to the living room (that couch was definitely going to need to be replaced).

“I don’t think they need bearclaws right now, Granny; you know anything about being a midwife?” Emma asked as she placed a cool cloth on each of their foreheads.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” But it wasn’t Granny’s voice. Four pairs of eyes pointed at Granny, who was covered in black smoky magic and revealed her true self: the Black Fairy.

Emma and Snow stared in shock, while the guys were attempting to stand and fight.

“Oh, sit down, boys—you don’t want to harm the babies now, do you?” The fairy pushed them back down on the sofa with her magic. “I’m afraid they won’t do me any good if anything bad happens,” she continued. “I need two products of true love for my plan to work; no less.” Then she glanced at the girls. “However, I can’t risk you two meddling, so…” With a wave of her hand, she whisked herself and the men away.

“Oh, I’m gonna kill her,” Emma yelled, already making for the door. They needed help and backup, as fast as they could.

“Just let me get a shot in, too,” Snow followed.

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When the smoke cleared, the three of them were in a cave—in the mines, if David had to guess. Weak torchlight shined above; he could see Killian next to him clearly, but that was it.

“Well, I better leave you two to it, then,” the Black Fairy said. “Not that I think you’re going to be able to escape, but just in case…” She waved her hand again, and shackles appeared on their ankles, connected to the wall. “Happy laboring! I’ll be back to collect those babies in a few hours. Scream if you need help! Tata!” And then she was gone.

“Bloody...buggering...hell,” Killian panted, tugging on the chain to no avail. “Got any ideas, mate?”

“No,” David breathed, which he was doing heavily as he gripped his large bump. “I think...this one’s coming fast.”

“Are you sure?”

“No, but—” He gritted his teeth in pain. “Damn, does it hurt.”

“I’ve got you, Dave,” Killian told him, holding out his hand. David took it, and together they labored, squeezing and embracing each other through their arduous—but fast—contractions.

It became obvious that David’s labor was progressing quicker than Killian’s, though. “I think I need to push,” Dave said in a tired, strained voice.

“Okay; we can do this,” Killian said, though he supposed he was comforting himself as much as David.

As carefully as possibly, they got David’s pants off and sure enough, the baby was crowning. “I can see the head; push!”

David was yelling and the torches were flickering, but after a few quick pushes, the baby was in Killian’s hand and brace; the hook had been left at home.

“It’s a girl,” Killian said, smiling, as he put her in David’s arms.

He watched with happy tears in his eyes as David reclined on the stone wall and fawned over the tiny new life in his arms, who was crying something fierce. But he could feel his own time drawing near, the contractions becoming nearly constant and pressure increasing on his pelvis.

David was wrapping his new daughter up in his discarded pants when he noticed Killian’s distress. “Your turn?”

Killian nodded. “My turn.”

As quick as they could manage, they reversed their positions, David carefully setting his baby on a flat part of the rocky floor, and guided Killian through it like he had just done for him.

But this one wasn’t coming out as easy. “Gentle pushes, man; you can do this.”

“No, I can’t,” he cried. What if he died here? Or the baby?

“Yes, you can; I won’t let you not.”

With one last, fierce cry, Killian pushed harder than he thought possible—and heard the sweetest sound he’d ever heard.

“It’s also a girl,” David told him as he put the squealing infant in his arms. She was so perfect and so precious. David handed him his pants, too, and he swaddled the babe as best he could.

For a long while, they sat huddled together, shaking a bit from the cold air—they’d put their pants back on and wrapped the babies in their shirts—but mainly staring at their little ones. Eventually, though, David wondered, “Now what?”

“Well, if the Black Fairy hasn’t come to claim them, I suppose that’s good.”

“And what do we do if she does?”

“Fight like hell.”

“Well, duh. But with what?”

They were discussing battle tactics and keeping an ear open for anything while the babies slept. For a long time, nothing happened, but then, they finally heard it—footsteps.

Gingerly, they both rose to their feet, clutching the babies close. As the sound grew, they could tell it was more than one person. “Bloody hell,” Killian muttered; there was no way they’d be able to defend themselves against this many.

But then the steps came into their cavern, and they relaxed immediately: Snow and Emma ran in, quickly followed by Regina, Belle, and Granny, armed with her crossbow.

“Don’t worry; it’s really me,” she said gruffly, then turned and guarded the entrance. “I owe her a crossbolt to the skull for tying me up like that.”

Snow and Emma rushed to their respective True Love’s sides. “Oh my god, there they are,” Emma gushed.

“You guys did it; I told you,” Snow said through her tears.

“How did you get in?” David asked. “How long have we been here?”

“Only a few hours,” Belle said. “When I heard what happened, I had to come along. I...I made a deal with her; she’ll let you go free.”

“But what about Gideon?” Killian asked; he hated to think what his friend might have given up.

“Don’t worry about it; Rumple and I will deal with that. I wasn’t going to let her take you babies.”

Killian took a step to go give her a hug, but nearly stumbled when he did. “We owe you, love.”

“Just take care of them, okay?” She closed the distance between them to give him an embrace, and then Emma did the same.

“Okay, now that this reunion is done, can we get out of here? I see four people who probably need some serious medical attention,” Regina called out.

“Lead the way, Regina,” David replied, and she poofed them all to the hospital with a single wave of her hand.

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Hours later, with clean bills of health for the new dads and the babies, both families were squeezed into a booth at Granny’s. Snow and Emma had their respective new daughters in their arms, while their tired, sore boys were basically propped against the window. They were sure their now-soft bellies would never be flat again, and certain that they’d never catch up on sleep, but as they looked on the sweet faces in their loves’ arms, they knew it was all worth it.

The rest of town was gathered in celebration—both for the new little princesses, and that Granny was back; the quality of food had really taken a nosedive.

And, with the proper pomp that such a celebration deserved, the babies were presented to the kingdom properly: Princess Ruth Nolan, and Hope Swan-Jones.

The diner erupted in applause, Henry gushed over his new sister and aunt, and even Regina seemed to shed a happy tear. But the immediate families themselves were just happy to be through their latest adventure.

Despite the tumult of the day, spirits were high.

“I’m usually the one preaching the optimism,” Snow commented as she looked at Emma and Killian, both grinning. “What changed?”

“There’s no way the Black Fairy can beat us now,” Emma replied. “Not when we have Hope.”

Immediately, he went as far down as he could, in case for some reason those monsters could swim. A glance back showed him that Snow was right on his tail, and thankfully no one else. He finally stopped when the murk of the harbor filtered the sun to just a hazy glow; Snow attempted to halt, but she was still unsure of how to work her new appendage, so he grabbed her to slow her down.

Both stared up at the surface with baited breath, waiting to see if their attackers had followed, but thankfully, nothing came.

“Good thing they can’t swim, too, eh?” he quipped, trying to lighten the mood, but Snow still seemed agitated.

“Where did they come from and why did they go after us?” she wondered aloud, still looking up. “And what are they going to do to the town?”

“Whatever it is,” he started, calmly, belying his own worried thoughts, “we’ll do what we always do: figure it out and defeat the foe. I once told your intrepid daughter this, but I believe the same applies to you: I’ve yet to see you fail.”

“Are you sure?” She was staring at him, clearly searching for affirmation; how odd to be the one giving Snow White hope.

“I’m positive, Snow.” She gave a tiny smile, but clearly needed some distraction. “Come on; let’s head to the cove and then get in touch with the others; it’ll be much clearer, and probably quieter, there.”

Wordlessly, she followed him as he slowly swam, giving her a bit of time to get used to the motion of having a fin; like the rest of her family, she picked it up quick. “That’s quite a fetching tail you have, milady,” he observed on the way.

“Oh, uh—thanks.” It was a pearly white, a few shades lighter than her pale skin, with darker gray and black splotches reminiscent of a koi fish. It was terribly unique and perfectly Snow. “It wasn’t what I was expecting, honestly.”

“No?” Perhaps she expected green, like her and Emma’s eyes? Or a dark, sleek color to match her hair?

“Well, this isn’t the first time I’ve had a tail. Ariel and I sort of…switched limbs for a hot second.”

“Ahh, I thought there was some history there.”

“It was only for a few minutes—I never even got in the water with it—but it was definitely her tail, looking back.”

“And which do you prefer?”

Snow finally gave him a genuine smile. “Mine. But don’t tell her!”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry; I won’t.”

They settled into the kelp beds once they got to the cove and Killian called up Emma on his shell phone, letting her know what had just happened in the harbor.

“Well, hopefully they don’t carry anyone away, because we’ve got a big problem in town. Zelena got out.”

“Bloody hell; what’s she doing?”

“Basically going on a rampage. She’s got Robin in a force choke and is screaming about how we ‘can’t take her baby away from her’.”

“The baby that she hasn’t had yet, and won’t have for several months?” Snow commented.

“Apparently,” Emma sighed.

Weeks ago, once everything had been squared away with Rumple, Emma and Regina had gone to retrieve Robin and Roland from New York after Regina fielded a call from “Marian,” who was really Zelena in disguise. And lo and behold, she was with child. She’d been locked up at the hospital ever since they got back.

“Emma, do you want us to come?” Snow asked.

“No; you’re better off where you are. Check back in a couple of hours.”

“Alright, love; stay safe.”

For a moment after saying goodbye, the two sat and looked around, neither one good with sitting idle while danger was afoot. “You’ve no intention of staying down here; do you, milady?”

“Hell no.”

He grinned. “Alright. Let me check to see if the surface is clear.”

When he broke through, the sky was empty save for a few gulls. He could hear the cries of the winged monkeys far off, though, and faint screaming from town. With his hand, he beckoned for Snow to come up; she’d followed him partway then let him do the reconnaissance.

A moment later, she popped up next to him and brushed her hair from her eyes, glancing at the sky. “Looks like we’re okay.”

He led her over to his rock and they both pulled themselves up on the ledge. Snow’s now-wet clothes clung to her, but at least she still had something; his jeans had definitely been lost. “I can see why you prefer to go shirtless,” she commented, tugging her soaked top away from her skin.

“It has its mobility perks,” he agreed. “Now what?”

“I guess I have to get pants on the way back into town,” she said with a shrug, starting to fiddle with the cuff. “Hopefully, I won’t—”

She was cut off by another high-pitched screech; the monkeys were back. “Oh, bloody hell,” he cursed, and they both slipped back into the ocean, but hovered just under the surface to watch. The monkeys began to circle overhead, but made no moves to dive down or attack like they had earlier.

“Well, they can’t get to us, but they definitely know we’re here,” he deduced. “Let me try something.” He popped his head out of the water, waiting to see if it earned any reaction from the beasts; curiously, it did not.

Again, he gestured for Snow to join, but this time, she’d barely broken the surface when the first monkey came swooping down, and she instinctively ducked back down below to get away from it. Calm returned when it was just him. He scowled to himself; it’s not hard to figure out what that means.

Back under, he quickly asked, “I know this is an odd request, but might I have your shirt? There’s a hypothesis I need to test.”

Unperturbed, she did as asked, stripping down to her black sports bra and handing the top to him. “What do you think’s going on?”

“Unfortunately, I think they’re only after one of us.” He resurfaced and tossed the shirt onto the rock; as expected, the monkeys swarmed it, latching onto Snow’s scent and proceeding to tear the garment to shreds.

He sighed as he submerged. “It seems, milady, that the simians have been sent after you.”

“Me? Why?” She was stunned.

“If Zelena is involved, who bloody knows. She likely has a vendetta against all of us for one reason or another.”

“But I haven’t done anything to her! If anything, she’s the one who’s—ohh,” she cut herself off, a look of realization taking over. “She thinks I’m going to do the same thing—that I’m going to take her baby.”

“A likely guess, milady.”

Heavy silence settled on them for a bit. “So now what do I do?” she wondered, voice small.

The captain in Killian knew there was only one thing for Snow to do. She won’t like this, though. Remorsefully, he told her, “I hate to say it, your Highness, but I think you’re going to have to stay down here for a bit.”

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

Don’t get her wrong: Snow loved spending time with her son-in-law. (Okay, it wasn’t official, but it may as well be; he was her daughter’s True Love, after all.)

And she had to admit, now that she’d actually gotten to try one out, there were definitely some perks to having a tail instead of legs and being able to breath both above and under water.

But I’ve done the hiding out thing enough for one lifetime. History had taught her that it was better to face a foe head-on than try to avoid it or run away; she’d learned her lesson there a few times.

She didn’t want to make anyone else a target, though, least of all her family. If lying low kept them safe, then she’d have to deal with it for a few days; hopefully, that’s all it will take.

She must have been visibly moping, because suddenly, Killian was in front of her. “Hey—like I said, we’ll figure this out; we always do. The important thing is keeping you and your family safe, and I’ve long since pledged to do just that.”

She gave a small smile; that was the second time today he’d been the one to bolster her—I guess we’re rubbing off on him. “Thank you, Killian.”

He nodded, blushing slightly, and continued. “I was planning on heading back up to see if I could be of any assistance, but I can stay here if you’d pref—”

“No, no—go ahead,” she cut him off. “I’ll be fine,” she said, feigning confidence—but she wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince more: him, or herself.

“Here.” He grabbed the shell that hung around his neck and pulled it over his head, offering it to her. “Take this so you can keep in touch.”

“Are you sure?” She knew how important that shell was to him; for a long time, that had been his main communicative link to Emma, and they obviously still used it often.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you might need it more than I over the next few days.”

She sighed; he was right. If there was a hit out for her, there was no telling when she’d be okay to resurface. “Thank you. And thank you for getting me down here safely in the first place,” she quickly added. “I barely made it the last time I tried that.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “You’ve jumped into the ocean to escape danger before?”

“Yeah, once. Off a cliff, too. Only survived because of Ariel, though.”

“Is that why she gave you her tail? To prevent more death-defying feats?” he teased, smirking.

“That was probably part of it,” she laughed back. “I can kind of see her point now.”

He chuckled with her, then said his goodbye, letting her know they’d be in touch soon. And he swam off in the direction of his ship, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

Okay; now what exactly does a mermaid do?

For a bit, she just swam around, exploring; she’d never have guessed there was so much flora and fauna down here, nor that it was so varied. The murky, polluted harbor had given her a bad first impression, but the clearer cove was filled with grasses and plants, and all manner of fish and sea creature.

Late in the afternoon—well, she guessed, based on where the sun was—she was lying in one of the kelp beds, which she was surprised to find was as plush as Emma had told her it was. The silky fronds brushed against her skin and tail, which was still an odd sensation—that she had scales and not skin on part of her body. But she had to admit, lifting up her tail to admire it, that it was really beautiful, especially as the sun glinted off of it, even on the ocean floor.

She jumped when she heard a male voice breathe, “Wow.”

“David?” She sat up and looked to the side, and there he was, floating, with a tail too, and dropping the bag he was carrying (though it just kind of floated there). She’d seen his tail before, but she forgot how perfectly it fit him, with its striations of lighter and darker blue that perfectly complemented his eyes. Hello, gorgeous.

“Snow,” he said reverently. “You’re…you’re stunning.”

She had to shake herself from her own reverie to reply, and found she was blushing. “You’re pretty easy on the eyes yourself,” she tossed back.

In a second, he was on top of her, kissing fiercely. She wrapped her tail around his to anchor herself as she got lost in his kiss and touch and damn, now I understand why Emma and Killian spend so many nights down here.

They finally broke to catch their breath, but didn’t let go of each other. And Snow’s brain finally caught up to her. “Wait—how are you here?” she wondered breathlessly.

“I’ve got Hook’s cuff.”

“Then where is he?”

“Um…in our bathtub.”

She snorted. “Oh, I bet he’s not a fan of that.”

“Actually…it was his idea. He and Emma are going to watch Neal tonight and try to figure out the Zelena situation, and suggested I take the cuff to be with you. Oh! That reminds me.” He reached for the Shell now hanging on Snow’s neck and spoke into it. “Emma? You there?”

A moment later, they got their reply. “Yup. Everything okay? Mom, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Snow answered. “What happened with Zelena?”

Emma’s sigh came through the shell. “We got close enough to try to slap one of the magic-blocking cuffs on her, but when she noticed, she just disappeared. We checked her old farmhouse but there were no signs of life there. So it’s quiet for now, but everyone is on alert.”

This is just like last time, she thought, remembering their first battle with the witch months ago. Trying to take the edge off the conversation, she quipped, “Leroy must be asleep, then; no way he’d stay silent when danger is brewing.”

“Actually,” Emma started, but David spoke over her.

“That’s the other thing…all the dwarves have gone missing.”

“What?” Where would they have gone? Are they hiding, too?

“Mom, how many monkeys were there?” Emma asked.

In the heat of the moment, Snow hadn’t really taken the time to count; but now that I think about it… “Seven,” she concluded sadly.

“That’s what I suspected,” Emma said unhappily.

“It makes sense that she’d use people familiar with you as her minions when you’re the target,” David added.

“So we can’t shoot our way out of this one, basically,” was what Emma got from it.

In the background, they heard Killian say, “Surely one or two won’t be missed.”

He received instant and simultaneous admonishment from Snow and Emma.

“Anyways,” Emma continued, “That’s where we are now. So unfortunately, you’ll have to lay low until we can either figure out how to switch the dwarves back, or stop Zelena altogether.”

It wasn’t what Snow wanted to hear, but she’d honestly been expecting it. “Yeah, sounds like it,” she agreed sadly.

“But don’t worry about it tonight, okay?” Emma was quick to assure. “Killian and I have everything taken care of here; so you and Dad just enjoy yourselves tonight.”

“Okay.” It was half-hearted. “How’s Neal?”

“Enjoying the novelty of taking a bath with a merman,” Emma laughed.

“Oh my god, take a picture! Take ten pictures!”

“I’ve probably taken twenty.”

“And you’ve been no help whatsoever!” Killian shouted. “Have you any idea how slippery an infant is?”

Well, that’s good practice for someday, Snow thought with a smile.

“Well, he looks pretty clean to mean. You did good, pirate,” Emma teased. “Alright, I’m gonna put him down now then get some salt in this tub. Talk to you guys in the morning!”

“Take care! Hug Neal for me!” Snow called, hoping she was heard over the ensuing giggles that faded out. “They’ll be okay, right?” she asked David.

“I think so.” He thought about it a bit more, then shrugged. “I hope so,” he corrected, and they shared a giggle.

She hummed and wrapped her arms around him again. “So…now what?”

“Well, I brought some food,” he started, nodding towards the bag he’d dropped, “so there’s that. Otherwise, the night is ours.” He pressed himself just a bit closer to her.

It’s been quite a while since we could say that. She tightened her tail around his and smiled—a sultry one she saved just for him. “I think I can handle that.”

The following morning, after a blissful night spent together, Charming checked the surface to see if the coast, quite literally, was clear. But he came back down, shaking his head. “They’re still there.”

“Dammit.”

“Maybe Hook was right; we wouldn’t miss one of them—”

She hit him in the chest. “David! Those are my friends! Think of all they’ve done for us.”

“I was just kidding,” he assured her, swimming out of her hitting range, but he still earned himself a sideways glare. I’m not sure I completely believe him.

“Well, I better get this back to its owner,” he continued, gesturing to his cuff.

Snow sighed sadly. “Yeah; he’s probably tired of the tub.”

David swam back to her, wrapping her in his arms. “Hey. We beat her once; we’ll figure it out again.”

“I know,” she answered, and she did. “I just hate feeling useless. Especially when I don’t have the excuse of pregnancy this time around.”

“You staying safe is the most important thing you can do right now.”

She huffed again; why does he have to be right? “I know. Give Neal a kiss for me?”

“Of course.”

It was the same thing for the next few days: David spent the night while Killian and Emma took care of Neal, and the days were mostly monotonous, exploring Storybrooke’s seafloor with the occasional visit from Killian (and Henry tagged along once).

She wasn’t out of the loop by any means—they let her know when anything happened. A few more people had gone missing, and the number of monkeys circling the cove had correspondingly increased. It looked like Zelena had ransacked the nursery Regina and Robin had started, but they didn’t see her do it; it was just safe to assume from the fact that everything was trashed and dyed green. But they’d come no closer to catching the witch, or figuring out how to reverse the monkey enchantment.

“I know we’ll figure this out; any minute now,” David assured her, but they were both losing confidence as the days went on. And dammit, I miss my babies.

Finally, several days into the debacle, Snow was just lounging around at lunch time, having exhausted any other options for the day, when Emma’s voice sounded from the shell.

“Mom! Mom? Are you there?”

“Emma? What is it?” She sat up in a flash, gripping the shell. What’s happening?!

“The monkeys are gone! We figured out how to switch them back. You can come up now!”

Snow grinned, but had to ask: “And what about Zelena?”

“Dad and Hook are cornering her now.”

“Oh, thank goodness.”

“I’m at the docks, if you want to come up; and I’ve got a change of clothes for you.”

“Give me two minutes.”

The muscles in Snow’s tail were burning with how hard she was working them, swimming faster than she had yet. Finally; I can be with my family and eat something that isn’t cold and wet!

The closer she got to the harbor, the cloudier the water got, until she was surrounded by dock posts and anchors, the Jolly Roger’s being the largest of them all. “Are you by the ship?” she asked, making sure she got the right one.

“Yeah,” came Emma’s happy reply.

Snow figured out which dock that was and then popped up at the end of it, greeted by her daughter’s smiling face kneeling at the edge. “Oh, Emma,” she started, just so overwhelmed after a week of being away. She reached up to cup her face. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” she replied, joining her hand with Snow’s and lightly squeezing it.

Snow was about to pull her hand back so she could pull herself onto the dock, but when she even flinched her hand, Emma’s grip tightened—painfully. “Emma? Is everything okay?”

Before she could reply, those familiar, awful screeches rang through the air: the monkeys were back. Going into mom mode, she cried out, “Emma! Let go of me and take cover!” while watching the beasts begin to circle overhead.

A voice that was definitely not Emma’s answered. “Now why on earth would I do that when I’m the one who called them?”

No. Dread filled Snow as she looked back in front of her: Zelena. The witch was grinning wickedly in her thin hospital scrubs and robe, an almost manic glee in her eyes to match her riotous, fiery hair. Right away, Snow began to tug her hand, trying to free it from the witch’s grasp, to no avail. “Where’s Emma?” she shouted.

Zelena ignored the question. “You honestly thought you could hide from me under the sea? A lesson you learned from your little mermaid friend, no doubt. Clever, I’ll give you that, but given that you’re trapped now, you’re probably going to regret that.”

A monkey swooped down, screaming, only missing Snow by inches. “Zelena, I don’t know what you think I’m going to do to you, but whatever it is, I’m not,” she told her, hoping that would call off the assault.

“Do you expect me to believe that? I know you’re in league with my sister! I saw the nursery! It had your awful design taste all over it!”

Snow bit her tongue; now is not the time to debate interior decorating. (And besides, that room was all Regina.) “I promise you, I want nothing to do with you or your baby; I’m busy enough with one!”

Another monkey dive-bombed them, but this one was shot out of the air with a jet of water. “Oy!” Killian called out from where he floated, several yards away. “You and your hellbeasts go back to where you came from!”

“Oh, I’d almost forgotten about this little development,” Zelena stated, much too happily, turning her attention to Killian. “How ironic that I once baited him with a mermaid and now he is one. But we can’t have any interruptions like that, now, can we?”

Killian looked like he was about hit Zelena with another blast but abruptly froze in place, grimace locked on his face, and sunk below the surface.

“What did you do to him?” Snow yelled at her.

“Nothing of your concern; not in a few minutes, at least.” Suddenly, Snow was flying through the air, carried by an unseen force. “She’s all yours, my pretties!” Zelena shouted into the air.

The monkeys began to swarm dangerously close, circling her and getting within striking range. Pain erupted low on her tail as one scratched her, then her lower back stung with another. The dwarves-turned-beasts were screaming hysterically and flying incredibly haphazardly, striking each other and taking chaotic paths around each other.

This is it. Snow braced for an inevitable impact, a tear streaking down her face that she wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to her family—until she was falling back into the ocean.

Zelena’s voice sounded much different when Snow surfaced, the monkeys still swarming overhead. “Help! Somebody! I can’t swim!”

One of the monkeys must have knocked Zelena into the water, because she was struggling to stay above water a short distance from the dock. And then she disappeared in the waves.

Immediately, Snow dove under to find her, eyes scanning the murky harbor for a flash of red hair. She first caught a glimmer of gold; Killian was still frozen in place on the ocean floor, but seemed no worse for the wear. And she didn’t have to worry about him drowning like she did Zelena.

Finally, after a bit more swimming, she saw her, slowly sinking and flailing frantically. As fast as her fin would move, she darted to the witch, slipped her arms under hers, and kicked her tail to get them above water.

Snow barely broke the surface, to try to avoid simian wrath, but propped a coughing Zelena up so she could get air. Slowly, she towed her back over to the dock and helped her onto it. A monkey tried to attack, but Zelena stopped it with a wave of her hand, freezing it in midair.

When she finally caught her breath, she brushed her dripping wet hair from her face and gave Snow an incredulous look. “I tried to kill you; why on Earth did you save me?”

Does she seriously think I’d have left her? “I could never sit by and watch someone drown without doing something, regardless of our history.”

Zelena settled a hand on her midsection, a small bump now evident as her wet clothes clung to her. “And you really don’t want to steal my baby?”

“I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy,” Snow assured her, then added, “which is kind of you right now.”

To Snow’s surprise, Zelena started crying. “No one thinks I can handle this. They all think I got knocked up just to spite Regina, but that was only half of it! I’ve got no one else; just this baby. And I know it’s hard work, but I want to do it. I want this child, more than anything.”

Unable to turn a blind eye to someone in such emotional distress, Snow pulled herself up on the dock next to Zelena, literally offering her a shoulder to cry on—and, to her shock, she took it.

Crap. Now how do I console someone who has been my enemy for the past year? But she remembered what those crazy hormones and raging emotions were like.

“Okay, first things first, can you call off the army and unfreeze Hook?”

Zelena sniffed and nodded her head against Snow’s shoulder; with a flick of her wrist, the monkeys disappeared and the dwarves, and a couple others, were there on the dock.

“IT’S THE WI—” Leroy started to shout, until Snow told him to can it and head back into town.

Killian reappeared, looking puzzled at the picture before him but wisely not saying anything. Snow pulled the shell necklace off of Zelena as she continued to sob, tossed it to the pirate, and mouthed the words “Find Emma.” He nodded and slipped away.

“Alright, so you’re sure you want this child?” Snow began when they were finally alone.

“Yes; so much.”

“You’re not going to abandon it when you get bored or it won’t stop crying or anything?”

“Absolutely not! I may be wicked but I’m not heartless.”

“Okay. We’ll have to discuss it with Robin, and you’ll have to prove yourself, but if you really want to keep this kid, I’ll help you.”

“Really?” She asked, still sniffling, and sat up. “After all the awful things I’ve done to you, you’d help me?”

Maybe it was just her forgiving spirit, or maybe it was residual guilt for what they did to Maleficent. But she’d also seen how being given a second chance had affected Regina and Killian; maybe Zelena just needed that, too. Maybe this is my own.

“Really. But you can’t wreak havoc on the town anymore. And you’re probably still going to be locked up for a while.”

“That’s fair.”

Snow gave her half of a smile before running footsteps sounded on the planks of the dock. “Mom? Are you okay?” There Emma was—for real this time, followed by a still-shirtless Killian and a concerned David.

“Yeah, we’re all good here,” Snow said, giving Zelena an encouraging pat on the knee.

She smiled back at her through her tears, then carefully stood up in front of Emma, arms outstretched. “I believe I’m due for some cuffs.”

“Uh, yeah,” Emma answered, taken aback, but quickly slapped both a magic-restraining cuff and handcuffs on her while still staring at Snow. “Mom, what happened?”

“I’ll tell you later; just get her back to the hospital.”

“Alright…oh, and I love your tail!” she gushed before leading Zelena back to the waiting squad car with Killian.

She and David watched them for a bit, before he turned back to her. “What did you say to her?”

He knows me so well. She just shrugged and said, “I offered her a second chance.”

David chewed his lip in thought for a moment. “I’d argue it, but I’ve got nothing.”

“I know something you can get,” she said, playfully.

“Oh yeah?” he chuckled. “What’s that?”

She held her arms up. “Me?”

Laughing, he bent down to where she sat. “I think I can manage that.” And he scooped her up, only slipping a bit on the scales.

“My hero,” she teased as she wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Not that I mind carrying you, but why not just take the cuff off?”

“David! I’m not wearing any pants!”

“And that’s a problem because…?”

She lightly smacked him on the chest in admonishment…then gave him another kiss.

A few hours later, she was back on two legs, wearing a shirt and pants, and holding her son, finally feeling like everything was back to normal.

Oh, and Granny’s lasagna smells extra delicious tonight. (Though a week away probably had something to do with that.)

They were having a long-overdue family dinner in the diner, now that everything was relatively calm again. The cacophony of the restaurant was a bit jarring after so long in the quiet of the sea, but definitely a welcome change. And thank goodness for hot cocoa with cinnamon. Even if it was still the thick of summer outside, Snow was desperate for some hot food. You can only go so long on cold fruits and veggies.

When the meal had wound down and they were just relaxing, Neal asleep on her shoulder, Emma asked, “So, Mom, do you think you’ll be borrowing my cuff for anymore mermaid adventures?”

Snow chuckled back. “Don’t get me wrong; it had its perks, and there was definitely some novelty to it. And I totally understand why you guys spend the night down there so often,” she added with a wink (Emma cringed; Killian winked back). “But…” she started, trailing off as she gazed at her family around her. She was okay leaving the underwater thing to Emma and Killian and staying here on land. “I think this is where I belong.”