#sneed

"It was last night, you're really that desperate already Jack?" 

"Mhm," he mumbled, "just a quick one sweetheart." He begged kissing my jaw and rubbing his thumbs against my hardening nipples as they began to poke through my dress, 

"Oh... Alright," I rolled my eyes playfully, 

"C'mere," he smirked turning me to face up, lifting me up by my thighs and sitting me down, without another word he pulled my lips to his in a passionate kiss his hands trailing up and sliding under my dress. 

But before Jack's hands got too high, the door opened again. 

We both heard it and Jack immediately put space between us hiding himself around the corner and out of sight while he adjusted his obvious erection. 

I hopped off and went back to work when I saw it was just Rainsford, 

"Humm... Hello Darling." He smirked, "I was wondering where my favourite little girl had gone." Rainsford came over and spun me around to face him, pulling my body close, "I've missed you today, you did such a good job last night-" He cooed trying to lean in for a kiss, 

"What the hell do you mean last night!" Jack yelled revealing himself,

"Dawkins! What the hell are you doing here!" Rainsford glared putting space between us,

Ohh fuck- well this isn't going to go well.

"I could ask you the same question! what do you think you're doing with her?"

"That's none of your concern."

"Ohh I think it very much is." Jack glared grabbing my arm, "What the hell do you think you're doing with your hands all over my Sweetheart."

"Your sweetheart?!" Rainsford yelled back grabbing my other arm, "Get your hands off my darling."

"Darling! Ohh you are so old fashioned Sneed."

"Me?! Like sweetheart is any better!"

"What I can her is my business!"

"Regardless! What gives you the right to call her that?!"

"My right! I can call her whatever I damn want!" Jack yelled, "What makes you think you can call her darling like that! She's my girlfriend!"

"You're girlfriend! Dawkin's have you lost the plot she's my girlfriend." 

I was frankly starting to get seasick being pulled between the two like they were two children fighting over a stuffed bunny, 

"Enough!" I screamed at the top of my lungs forcing both their arms off me, 

"...Y/n, Sweetheart. What is going on?" Jack asked a little breathless from all the yelling, 

"I would very much like to know what's going on." Rainsford nodded, "Which one of us, are you... seeing."

"Seeing? Ohh grow up sneed." Jack rolled his eyes, "I know for a fact she's fucking me, there is no other explanation other than the potential witchcraft. So are you fucking him as well?"

"You're fucking him too!" Sneed yelled,

"I'll take that as a yes then." Jack sighed, 

"Oh for god sake- Yes!" I yelled, "Now will you just shut up arguing!"

"Sorry Sweetheart." Jack sighed,

"Apologies darling." Rainsford nodded,

"Oooh really! You think you're so much better you have to apologize better than me!" 

"Just because I have a little more decorum." 

"Enough! I don't want to tell you two again." I yelled, "Okay. Yes. I have been fucking the both of you. No. I don't really care. No, I have no intention of apologising for it. No, I am neither of your girlfriends, I am a single woman and I can do with my body whatever the damn hell I like." I told them, "Now... Any further questions." 

"why didn't you tell us?" Rainsford asked, 

"Simple. I knew you'd do this." I glared at them both, "You are both too immature and competitive with one another. I knew it would just become a fight or worse constant comparisons. And as much as I wish to validate the both of you I am not allowing myself to become the judge of a literal dick measuring contents." 

"You weren't like... unsatisfied... right?" Jack asked sheepishly, 

"No, I promise I wasn't unsatisfied with either of you." I cooed, "You are both amazing, and lovely to be intimate with. But you know... Pie is good. And beer is also good. I am satisfied with both and would be happy with either, But you also don't wanna eat pie every meal, or drink a beer every day-" I explained, 

"I'd drink a beer every-" 

"I know you would Jack but that's a separate matter," I glared, "But I mix it up, sometimes I want pie." I smiled holding Rainsford's hand with my right hand, "And sometimes I want a beer." I smiled taking Jack's hand on my left, "sometimes very close together, and then I need to nap. But Still, I love both, Everyone is now very clear on this."

"Yes..." Jack nodded,

"Fine." Rainsford sighed, 

"Good, now you both have work to do, Dawkins, get back to the Morgue. Sneed get back to your ward. So I can finish this damn stock work, and if you're lucky I'll pop by you both tonight and help put you both to sleep."

Both begrudgingly nodded, 

"See you later darling," Sneed kissed my cheek before he headed back to work, 

Jack muttered something under his breath which I silenced with a glare, "Later Sweetheart." He cooed going to kiss my lips, but I stopped him knowing he was only doing it to one up sneed, so he rolled his eyes and kissed my other cheek before heading off to do his work.