#snape severus

fuck you canon.

BITCH NO-

why would he live in the same place that gave him nightmares every night?

he would have the constant burden of-

holy shit.

“evil,

ugly,

traitor,

coward,

unredeemable”

"She is just Lily"

Therapist: "So tell me more about your school experience Professor, you teached in a school ,where you were a student yourself, correct?"

Snape:"Precisely, but I don't want to dwell in memories, being surrounded by simple minded people".

Therapist:" Oh? I thought you spent most of your time in that school with Lily? I doubt you mean her. Why don't you tell me more of her."

Snape:" Why? So that you could dissect her? Pick her apart? Tell me what I should think about her?"

Therapist:" No, but you were best friends for years, who else should her know better ? I want to know the real Lily."

Snape:"She...was kind. Brilliant.The only light in my world. Always knew what's right and what's wrong"

Therapist:"And.. were there moments where she was unkind? Maybe judgemental?"

Snape:" No, no she always did.. well she laughed when other students made sloppy mistakes in class. Especially people from my....dorm. But that's not that bad."

Therapist:"So...even a kind girl can have her...moments."

Snape:"...She hated being wrong and always demanded being right.Never listened to me. Overreacted over the smallest things.But she was there for me, when no one else was."

Therapist:" Was she ever unkind...to you?"

Snape:"Not on purpose..She turned her back on me. Said she couldn't do it anymore."

Therapist:"Did you ever hurt her?"

Snape:" I made mistakes. I regretted it so much. She knew me. She knew, I didn't mean it."

Therapist:" Even kind people can walk away when they're hurt. Even bright girls with kind hearts."

Snape:" She had her flaws, like every person. She was self-righteous,such a ridiculously quick temper. She once mocked a girl for her secondhand books,telling me how it looked like her stuff survived a war. I thought I was special at that time, for telling me that. But I didn't want to remember that"

Therapist:" That's ...oddly specific."

Snape:" I spent years only to remember the good things. It was easier than to forgive myself or her, for just leaving me...or myself for being an idiot. I refused to just...let it go. I wanted to bathe in that pain... I thought I deserved it.And I still..do."

Therapist:"You loved a girl who wasn't perfect. That's okay. She didn't save you. She didn't owe you anything.".

Snape:"No. But it felt like she did. Since no one else tried."

Therapist:" Doesn't mean she was bad. It means she was just Lily. A normal teenage girl."

Snape:" A girl I pinned all my hopes on, because I had nothing else."

(6th year, Hogwarts)

Caradoc had always had outbursts of anger, even as a child, so he sought refuge in what many called "over-the-top behavior." He feared that part of himself, feared losing control and fearing that people would see the monster inside him. But during his sixth year, as his condition worsened, along with that of his mother, Adira Dearborn, he was no longer able to control himself, at least not always.

When he exploded, after yet another Marauders attack on Snape, for the first time Severus saw with extreme clarity why Caradoc was repressing himself. It wasn't just furious rage, behind those screams and that desire to destroy was a deep pain. The knowledge that he couldn't put an end to injustice. Knowing that no matter how hard he tried, no matter how hard he tried to fix situations, he couldn't change other people, he couldn't stop them, and he couldn't even save them, not completely. That's why, toward the end of his sixth year, when Caradoc had one of his worst explosive episodes, he curled up in a corner, holding his head in his hands. His look was frightened, his eyes dull and covered by a glossy veil. He wasn't afraid of the punishment that would follow, what terrified him was that Severus, his best friend, was starting to fear him, that he was seeing him differently. But Severus wasn't afraid. For the first time, he felt he'd truly seen who Caradoc was, and he found him, as much as he struggled to admit it even to himself, beautiful. Not out of a macabre fascination with violence, but out of the knowledge that someone could be so viscerally attached to him. That someone could care about him more than anything else. For the first time, he was someone's number one priority. And that someone was Caradoc. And he was beautiful

So many of you said you missed seeing feral Snape in the movies. You shall only ask and you’ll receive 😌