#snapback drabbles

Like my aunt was Beyonce and I was still trying to see if I liked my new uncle Jay-Z while in Walmart (I was a child for some reason). You know how it is when one of your family members marries someone and you ain’t met them before so now you’re just trying to see if they’re worthy for them? That’s what that was.

Anyway my cousin and I were getting candy and watching him out of the corner of our eyes while they talked with our moms. At some point I end up standing under him looking up at him and he asks me if he can help me and I tell him I need help reaching the tall shelves. I decided I liked him after he got all the chocolate tootsie pops from a jar and the watermelon laffy taffy from another jar for my cousin and I and we had to run from Walmart employees who said we couldn’t do that (which even awake I still don’t see why we couldn’t).

After wandering a little away from the aunties and uncle I found stilts I walked around all of Walmart and I saw Beyonce and Jay-Z again choosing what decorative towels they wanted for their bathroom while he holds the bag of candy for me and my cousin as we run around nearby (oddly enough it was like two isles from the candy isle and closer to the dairy section... this Walmart was set up weird). I’m not saying they don’t do normal things like this... I’m just saying if they’re in Walmart someone should be screaming and trying to take selfies with them but there was no one. Now that was the strange part. No one cared and they were just ordinary people.

Then I went to the gym with my friend (talk about sudden age up) and he’s talking about one of the crimes that happened at that particular gym excitedly (could’ve been murder or something, all I know is whoever the crime was done to wasn’t wearing underwear for some reason). It’s one of the fanciest gyms I’ve ever seen. It like it’s attached to a mall, but we didn’t go straight forward to see that, we went to the left down the escalators.

When I say the fanciest gym ever let me tell you: this place looked like a large hotel with ridiculously high ceilings that were painted a cream color, red carpet looking like it may have been made of velvet, golden chairs with lighter gold designs on them placed on either side of large ivory pillars a basketball player couldn’t even come close to hugging and touching the wall on either side and said pillars had expensive art on each one and there were several along this large stretch of hallway. There were slick black coffee tables with exotic flowers resting on each one so people could just sit and chat as if it were their fancy living room every two pillars and doors leading to conference rooms every other pillar. It screamed “RICH PEOPLE!!” And this was just the entrance to get to the gym.

Back to the story.

My friend and I don’t make it ten feet from the escalator when we run into a one of our coworkers who was on his way to a meeting and someone he knew- I can’t remember but I know they were famous- and he started talking to them. As I resign myself to sit (because he can talk a lot when he wants) Anna Kendrick comes up to me and I’m just like “oh, it’s my friend!” and she informs me that the masterpiece I’m sitting next to was made by such-and-such (don’t ask me why the gym had a long stretch of fancy hotel-like hallway with red carpet and expensive art on the pillars) and I look and then I see my signature on the bottom underneath the artists’ name and I realize I’m one of the only ones that bothered to sign this man’s art unlike the other pieces where there are dozens. Then I turn to her and she has to go and politely says she’ll see me later and rushes off to do whatever Anna Kendrick does.

GOODNESS this has been in the drafts for a while… I’m gonna be honest, I forgot about this.

Okay so this is kind of out of date but I’m still gonna answer this/bring it to life kinda.

But I imagine Dipper would be fairly upset finding this out at first. He’d catch Stan walking out of the door with most of his stuff and he’d demand to know where he was going.

Stan- being the big softy he is- will try and soften the blow and say that he’s heading out for a little while but he’ll come back and visit. Dipper isn’t buying that and he pries for a plan of action and Stan admits he’s just gonna wing it.

Dipper wants to know why and Stan very vaguely indicates that he made an agreement to give the house back and leave.

Dipper stands there for several seconds before his face scrunches up in anger and he grabs his grunkle’s hand and leads him to where Ford is and then he gets on a chair so he’s face to face with Ford and demands to know if it’s true. Ford looks at his brother and says he didn’t mean for him to leave in the dead of night with nothing.

Category: Bumping Heads Name of Doc/Au: Boxing Pines

Now this is one that I entertained for a while and made up way back when I was completely on Stan’s side of the argument (I’m not sure exactly when that changed, but Ford just grew on me without my noticing). Alas, this one’s getting drabbled because I can’t bring myself to write an entire story.

Dipper and Mabel are a bit older- Weirdmageddon hasn’t happened yet- and they’re living with their Grunkles. Dipper’s Ford’s apprentice and Mabel asks Stan for boxing lessons. 

Stan- of course- is over the moon and he agrees. Mabel trains with boxing and she gets really good at it. Dipper makes some sexist comment- something along the lines of “Grunkle Stan’s training methods are a bit rough, maybe you should have Grunkle Ford help you instead-” and Mabel doesn’t take that well at all. She challenges him to a boxing match set for the next week, but after consulting with the Grunkles over a proper date and even going as far as to pull out their calendars and daily planners to figure out the date, it’s set for two weeks and two days later.

Mabel trains her but off almost to the point it’s unhealthy and Stan can’t get her to slow down so- despite their still rocky relationship- goes to Ford and asks him to help Mabel. The two actually learn to get along work together over the course of trying to get the twins to get along.

Dipper’s hyperfocused on making sure he wins the match to prove his sister wrong, but he doesn’t realize how badly it’s effecting her (making her depressed, having her work herself until Stan and Ford physically force her to stay in bed and the like).

The night of the fight and the whole town’s there since Stan planned way before things with Mabel got bad for people to come see and he couldn’t cancel (otherwise he’d get locked up). Right before the fight Ford tries to get Dipper to understand what Mabel’s going through, but he doesn’t really pay attention.

Finally the two are in the ring and Dipper notices how off his sister is about five minutes into it. Stan and Ford have this worried looks on their faces and Dipper demands to know what’s going on. Stan angrily explains what’s been going on and Dipper feels guilty. Dipper thinks he should throw the fight, but both men hit him on the head and say that this is supposed to be a fair fight and he’s gonna fight like he wants to win whether he actually wants to or not.

The two talk it out in the ring and Dipper apologizes for being stupid and Mabel smiles and accepts it and then wins by knocking him out.

When Mabel helps Dipper up, she points to Stan and Ford and they’re getting along and talking- Ford even puts an arm over his brother’s shoulder- and she’s all but fangirling over it (finally starting to go back to being her old self again).

Category: Unfinished Name of Doc/AU: Timber

This is one of the more heart wrenching Aus I’ve created. Basically this is if everything went down the crapper- specifically for Wendy.

So something happens- I’m not sure 100% what lead to it but her entire family dies in a fire. She’s left with the guilt of being the only one left alive and she ends up living with the Pines since Stanley’s her godfather (in my mind).

Soos does his best to help her out and offers to be an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on and while she appreciates it, she mostly sees him during work hours and she doesn’t want to be crying when someone could see her at any minute. Stanford doesn’t know what to make of her, but offers to help whenever he can. Dipper’s a bit awkward and doesn’t know how to treat her, and Mabel tries her best to be comforting and cheerful and give Wendy plenty of sweaters. Surprisingly Stanley’s the one that knows what to do best.

Wendy suffers from nightmares and thinks that she would’ve been able to save them if she’d done something different, but Stanley assures her that this isn’t the case and usually talks with her until she drifts off, but on really bad nights he’ll run his fingers through her hair and hum to her and maybe even let her curl into his side until she goes to sleep and then leaves once he’s sure she’s gonna be alright

Wendy tries to go about everything like it’s normal and goes on adventures with the twins whenever she can, but when they leave she doesn’t know what to do with herself so Stan keeps her busy as he can.

Bill sees her at a weak point and tries to strike up a deal to get her to let him into her mind and she’s about ready to do it when Stanford wakes her up and has her wear a necklace specially made to ward off Bill and tells her to never take it off. Wendy’s pretty scared since she really doesn’t know Stanford like that and he sighs and tries to rectify the situation and by the end of the encounter Wendy has a healthy respect for the man and he’s pleasantly surprised at how strong and capable she is.