I counted the miles when they sent Valentina there, and then I blacked out because I drank too much and I don’t want to do the math again, but I’d look it up if I could speak at your funeral. But who knows? Maybe I’ll die before you. What would you say at mine? What would you have said, if I had died in that attack? I had a dream in which my mother knew what to say, but I couldn’t understand any of it. 

Don’t get too scared, I won’t die. I’m staying out of trouble.

Death reminds me that my birthday is coming up. Not spending the last one with you was strange, I felt like a Hogwarts kid. But lonelier, I suppose. I wish you hadn’t joined a cult. People should know you from the way you always remember the most random things or for writing a book. You always said you’d write a book. I wouldn’t mind if they knew you because of your crude humor or your difficult temper. But you chose to be known for joining a terrorist cult, and now I have to worry I won’t learn you’ve died. I don’t mean to scold you, I just wish you had chosen us. I thought, when I was attacked, that you would finally choose us. 

I would often feel sad when you let me ramble on without letting me know if you were listening, but now it makes writing you easier. I sometimes use a dictating charm, so it feels the same. Remember when you taught me to play the piano? That was lovely. I’ve been visiting home more often, I’m trying a divination thing that involves cheese and my apartment smells like a war zone, so I’ve spent a lot of time in your office and in your piano. I also took some of your books. I might move back home someday. If I get married. (I still hope I’ll get married.) It’s a good place to raise children. Would you love your grandchildren if their blood wasn’t of your liking? Again, don’t get scared. I just would like to know. 

Valentina looked changed when she came back. I didn’t tell her that, of course. Did you see her? If you did, did you believe your eyes? I know Azkaban can break anyone, and if Valentina can be anyone so can you.  If you came back, and this is not an invitation to escape prison, I wonder if you’d still be the same. I knew you when you were a quirky man, and I would miss that if you come back a shell of it. I miss you anyways. 

Love,  

Sofiya Nott

In another life, Regulus Black is not magically better. He lives with Emmeline because he’s afraid to live alone. Zephyr still comes to help him burn his mail. He still gets into arguments with Sirius nearly every time they speak. But he is still nineteen, and he is still alive. He has an entire life to recover.

When he’s twenty years old, Zephyr Bell teaches him to drive a car. It’s fun, he thinks, and he isn’t terrified like he was the first time he stepped foot into a taxi. It never turns into a hobby, but he isn’t afraid of the muggle world anymore. He babysits Katie Bell as a favour in return, and the cats learn to like children.

When he’s twenty-one years old, he meets Henry Fawley again. This time they’re both sober. Regulus doesn’t apologize, and Henry doesn’t ask him to. They both know what it was like to be in that kind of mental place, and they both know what it’s like to be so very tempted.

When he is twenty-two years old, he inherits Grimmauld Place. He’s surprised to hear that, but there was no one else in the line of succession. He goes back one last time with his brother at his side, and they watch it burn from across the street. They go to a pub, they get very drunk, and Remus Lupin is once again dealing with shitfaced Blacks.

When he is twenty-three years old, Emmeline Vance gets married. Regulus is a bridesmaid, because of course he is. He’s her son. He braids her hair for her big day, like he did for her first date with Maura, and he listens to her talk. He’s excited, too.

When he is twenty-four years old, he and Delilah Carrow begin talking again regularly. It took them both a long time to process their grief-- there was so very much of it, after all. Regulus brings over Lyra to meet Delilah, but Gisela’s cat still remembers her. Maybe it wasn’t so long.

When he is twenty-five years old, he marries Gilderoy Lockheart. Their wedding is very glittery-- the church will probably never be free of it. Their happiness is even more lasting, though. They adopt another cat, because clearly they don’t have enough.