In honor of the Ides of March what historical âfactâ (in quotes because ancient Roman historians are known for getting up to fuckshit) about Julius Caesar is funniest?
Crucifying pirates who thought heâd been joking when he said he would (he wasnât
Being known for wearing slutty tunics (hussy)
âAll the Gauls did Caesar vanquish, Nicomedes vanquished himâ
Getting called âevery womanâs man and every manâs womanâ
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Hereâs @smashcut âs submission for @phantomlim with Craig Boone and their original character Dustin.
Pairings: Boone/Courier
Summary: Prompt: âBoone and my courier, staying warm by snuggling by a fire. Boone is relaxing with a smile on his face while Dustin seems to be telling stories while resting his head on Boone's shoulder. .â
Word Count: 1,627
Rating: SFW
Warnings: none
The holidays always made Dustin a little homesick. It had been years since he was last home, but the chill in the air had him longing for his familyâs bighorner ranch.
It had been a few months since he had seen Lily and Marcus as well.
âHey Booneâ, Dustin called out from his bedroom. Craig was likely sulking around in the kitchen, looking for a box of Sugar Bombs Veronica hadnât eaten yet.
âYeah?â Dustin heard his footsteps pad across the threadbare rug in the hall, his stubbly head poking through the doorframe, mouth full.
Dustin leapt up from his cross legged position on the bed, âWait, are you eating my Sugar Bombs?â
Boone shook his head, trying to surreptitiously chew at the same time, ducking behind the door frame back into the kitchen.
âGet back here!â Dustin laughed, giving chase.
âI only had a few, I promiseâ, Boone chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender, âWho do you think I am? Veronica?â
Dustin playfully snatched the box out of Booneâs grip, popping a few Sugar Bombs into his mouth.
âI was thinkingâ, Dustinâs line of thought garbled by a mouthful of sugary cereal, âwe should go to Jacobstown.â
Boone paused, mouth twisting into a smirk, letting Dustin continue.
âIâm just, you know...I wanna see the bighorners. And Marcusâ, his thoughts trailed off, withering under Booneâs skeptical gaze.
âUh-huhâ, Boone let the silence hang between them.
âI-â
Boone cut him off, ruffling Dustinâs hair , âOf course Iâll go with you. Was just thinking about the weather.â
âItâs not supposed to snow for over a week, and itâs not too cold out now!â
âWhen did you want to leave?â
Dustin made a vague âI donât knowâ sound and shrugged. âA couple days, maybe? Thereâs not much for me to do around here right now.â
Boone pursed his lips, planning the logistics, startled by Dustin, who swooped in on his tip toes and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.
âThink about itâ, Dustin called, padding to the sink, salvaging the rest of his Sugar Bombs.
True to his word, Boone figured out travel plans, and they left a few days later. Their trek was mostly uneventful, thanks to Boone. He had accustomed to traveling with Dustin, sniping potential threats from a distance before Dustin had a chance to accidentally draw their attention. The only incident was when Dustin stumbled onto a den of feral dogs. They managed to escape with Dustin only scraping his palms and cutting his knee on a rock.
They traversed the winding, cracked pavement that led to the gates of Jacobstown. They could hear Lily shouting at her bighorner herd as they approached the main lodge. She waved at her grandson (as she called Dustin) and his boyfriend as Dustin and Boone approached the lodge. Marcus was in the foyer, clearly expecting their arrival.
âDustin, Boone, so good to see you!â Marcusâs rich baritone boomed as he swept the two men into a hug.
âMarcus!â Dustinâs voice was muffled against the Super mutants stomach.
âThanks for having us on such short noticeâ, Boone said in his trademark monotone as Marcus released them, âthis one wanted to come see you for Christmasâ, playfully elbowing Dustin in the ribs.
âYouâve picked the perfect time for it, weâve fixed the place up over the past few monthsâ, Marcus gestured to the foyer, âgranted itâs not exactly at its prewar splendor, but itâs certainly an improvement.â
Gone were the splintered chairs, spindly tables, and thick coat of dusty grime Dustin remembered from his first visit to Jacobstown. During his time away, someone had taken the time to clean and polish the floors and repair the furniture.
Marcus couldnât hide the pride creeping into his voice, âLet me give you a tour of the place.â
Dustin and Boone shed their coats, knocking Mojave sand loose from their boots, and followed Marcus up the stairs, Dustin slipping part way up and racking his shin against a step.
âIt looks as though our timing couldnât be better, weâve got working fireplaces and you two must have brought the weatherâ, Marcus continued, nodding towards a window near the front door.
Snow flurries were beginning to fall from heavy grey clouds.
Boone smiled wryly at Dustin. âAnd you told me the weather was going to be clear.â
Dustin coughed, trying to hide a sheepish grin, âListen, I knew we would make it in time!â
âOh you did, did you?â
âWell, I knew you would make us make it in time.â
Boone cocked his head, grinning, âYou got me there.â
They followed Marcus to the second floor of the lodge. It was silent, save for the wind whipping up outside. Marcus led them to a suite towards the end of the hall.
âIâll leave you here, let you get settledâ, Marcus opened the door waving the two men inside, shutting it gently behind them.
The room was clean and new, by post war standards. A queen sized bed dominated the room, outfitted with clean linens and stacked with thick blankets. A bighorner hide rug sprawled on the floor in front of a stone fireplace.
Boone pulled the drapes back, revealing the expansive grounds of Jacobstown; stretching from Lilyâs bighorner herd, the front gates, and the mountains beyond. Lily was shepherding her flock to a small barn, as the snow was now driving down in sheets.
Dustin flopped into one of the armchairs flanking the window, unlacing his boots. Boone unpacked his rucksack into the spartan set of dresser drawers, tucking a small package from his bag deep into the drawer, behind his socks and pants.
âI wonder--â, a heavy scrape and loud thump interrupted Dustinâs thought.
Boone spun around; somehow, his chair had slid out from under him and Dustin was lying face down, groaning quietly.
âAre you bleeding?â Boone asked, his tone casual. Try as he might, sometimes not even Boone could save Dustin from himself.
Turning over, Dustin sat up, slumped slightly against the wall, âI think Iâm fineâ, laughing a little as he said it, âI was wondering if Lily would come in soon.â
Boone helped him to his feet, âIf not, we can see her around dinner. I thought we could restâ, he said, planting a soft kiss in Dustinâs hair, âIâll get a fire going while you wash up, if you want.â
Dustin blushed, giving Booneâs hand a little squeeze before padding off to the bathroom.
One of the Jacobstown residents had thoughtfully left a pile of firewood near the hearth. Boone carefully stacked the logs and kindling, coaxing a flame from an ancient set of matches.
He could hear Dustin humming off key over running water, and smiled to himself. Straightening up, he took a few blankets off the pile, settling them over the bighorner rug.
Dustin burst out of the bathroom, clad in his sleeping clothes, hair damp and face freshly scrubbed.
He couldnât help smiling at Dustinâs exuberance, âIâll clean up and join you.â
Boone emerged from the bathroom to see Dustin snuggled under the blankets.
âMind if I join you?â Boone whispered in Dustinâs ear.
Dustin peeled back one of the blankets as an invitation. As Boone settled in, Dustin pulled him closer, burying his head into Booneâs chest, breathing in deeply, reveling in the scent of his soap and skin. Boone ran his thumb over Dustinâs ribs, tracing each bump and dip through the threadbare cotton.
He always forgot how small Dustin was until he held him. The fabled Courier Six, savior of Freeside, a larger than life New Vegas icon, all contained in this skinny, short frame he held in his arms. Overcome with memories, Boone squeezed Dustin, kissing his forehead.
âDid you want your Christmas present?â Boone whispered in Dustinâs ear.
Dustin sat up slightly, his blue eye sparkling as it caught the firelight, âYou bringing me here was my present.â
âDonât let the heat outâ, Boone scooched out from under the blankets, pulling the package he hid earlier out of the dresser, handing it to Dustin.
Dustin sat up, crossing his legs, âCraig, you didnât have to do this.â
Boone kneeled down, âOpen it carefully.â
Dustin peeled the wrapping off, his whole face lighting up in realization. Photographs. Dustin thumbed through them, eyes welling up.
Months ago, Boone accompanied Dustin to visit Michelangelo (of sign crafting fame). He had photographed the two men together for some tests for a new batch of film. Boone must have gone back and gotten the prints from him.
âCraig, thank you, I donât know what to say.â
âThank you is fine.â
âI know that, but I wish I could tell you, I donât know, moreâ, he gestured vaguely. Â
Dustin set the photos aside and crawled back under the blankets. Boone joined him, and Dustin settled into the crook of his arm, wrapping one of his arms around Boone.
âDonât worry, Iâll accept thank yous in the payment of Sugar Bombs.â
âWhy would you joke about that!?â
âWho said I was joking?â
âYou would never!â Dustinâs tone was faux wounded, âYou donât even like Sugar Bombs all that much.â
Dustin kissed his cheek, snuggling in closer as the wind whipped outside.
âWhy would I need Sugar Bombs? Youâre sweet enoughâ, Boone whispered drowsily.
âYouâre such a sap.â
âOnly when Iâm sleepy. Donât tell anyone.â
âAs your Christmas present, Iâll keep it a secret.â
âI know youâve gotten me something, but Iâll take itâ, Boone twisted so they lay face to face.
âYou know me too well.â
âI know, and I love youâ, Boone whispered, his lips soft against Dustinâs temple.
âI love you tooâ, Dustin whispered as they drifted off to sleep, carried by the sounds of a crackling fire and snow piling up outside.
hey, I upvoted your post on bnet about a trans character, but the amount of downvotes is disgustingly overwhelming, I started going through the comments but it was just, idk a lot. Can I add you btw? I'd love to have more trans guys to play ow with. Anyway, I hope you have a good day đ€đ€đ€
please do!!! also i 100%am gonna be That Fucker on blizzard games I donât give a shit
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Hereâs @ffferris âs submission for @smashcut.
Pairings: Arcade/Boone
Summary: Prompt: âI'd love to see something of them as an established relationship and it's just them bantering as they're in the Lucky 38 or wandering around Freeside. These men deserve to have a nice day, and please take that in any direction you want.â
Word Count: 1,050
Rating: SFW
Warnings: none
Boone almost fell asleep again in the elevator but jolted awake again at the âding!â that let him know it had stopped at the cocktail lounge. He pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose to block out the rays of sun bombarding him from the too-big windows and took a quick look around before the smell of smoke drew him around to the side opposite from where the elevator had deposited him.
Arcade sat back propped against the arm of a sofa, stark contrast between the blood red of the upholstery, cornsilk blond waves pushed back from his forehead, and the off-white t-shirt and boxers he wore to bed. His knees were pulled up just enough for him to fit, book in one hand and cigarette in the other. A full minute passed with no sign of Arcade noticing him and so Boone quietly cleared his throat and asked, âJust up or still up?â
 âOh...couldnât sleep last night. Just thought Iâd get some reading in.â He tried to play off the start Boone had given him, having laid his book down across his lap with a little more force than necessary, and twisted back over the arm of the sofa to stub the cigarette out. âThereâs still coffee in the machine if youâd like.â
 It took a minute to prepare a cup, Boone silently lamenting that all the milk was gone, but he made do by filling a third of the cup with sugar and headed back. Arcade moved his book to the back of the sofa and his closest leg to the floor long enough for Boone to settle in, back pressed to the warmth of Arcadeâs chest. Boone twisted around just enough glimpse the spine of the book.
 âA Practical Guide to Power Armor?â he asked, brows arched just visible over the rims of his shades.
 âVeronica found it,â Arcade said with a shrug. âI might as well read up on something immediately useful for a change.â
 Boone snorted. âVeronica I get but I wouldnât have taken you for the power armor type.â
 âAh, but little do you know: you canât get your gay card until youâre able to fully operate a suit of power armor all by yourself, no cheating.â
 âFirst off,â Boone started, gruff, pushing the glasses up onto his head to give Arcade a more direct and judging look. The hint of a smile at the corners of his eyes just barely gave him away. âI canât believe Iâve been spending all this damn time with a man who doesnât even have his gay card. Second, how the hell would you cheat?â
 Arcade set the book down across the back of the sofa again. âIn reverse: Iâm only on chapter three, how the hell should I know? And whereâs your card then, Mr. Paragon of the Law?â
 âIâm not gay.â
âYou mean to tell me thereâs no Bisexual Committee out there waiting to take you in for operating without a license?â
 âI mean to tell you--â The smile was tugging at the corners of Booneâs mouth now, and he tilted his head back as close to Arcadeâs ear as he could get. â--theyâll never take me alive.â
 âIs that so?â Arcadeâs eyes crinkled at the corners and he turned his head just enough to brush his lips against Booneâs, free hand pulling him closer, palm curled against the softness of his stomach. The taste of hours-old coffee on Booneâs tongue offset the stale smoke and morning breath, but not enough to keep him from maneuvering to reach over Arcade and grab a cigarette for himself.
 They stayed that way for a long while, Boone snugly pressed against Arcadeâs chest smoking and Arcade reading silently save for the turning of brittle pages. Boone had turned himself so that he was less in the way of Arcadeâs line of vision and he noticed how it seemed that Arcade would sometimes stop at one point or another on a page, eyes scanning the same spot over and over, committing to memory or grasping for full understanding. He felt a little less self-conscious of how slow his own reading could be, and when he finally spoke again he was long finished with his cigarette, and Arcade maybe half a chapter further in the book.
 âYou figure Hien might get back soon?â
 Arcade closed the book this time and set it on the table behind him. âShe and Cass went out to Nellis. I think itâll be the end of the week before they make it back to the strip.â
 âI need to get going soon then.â He started to push himself up and off the sofa, using Arcadeâs thigh as leverage, but Arcadeâs arm wrapped tighter around his waist.
 âBig plans?â
 âNot really,â he answered, âreallyâ punctuated by the shiver he got from Arcadeâs stubble scratching at the back of his neck. âLily asked if Iâd pick her up some yarn and flour. Figured Iâd ask Hien along if she was gonna be back soon but since sheâs not I might as well get it done.â
 âIsnât that exceedingly kind of you?â Another kiss pressed to the back of Booneâs head and he considered staying right where he was all day, until the two of them fell asleep again or Veronica came to inform them of how lazy they were. He shrugged, face warm, and Arcade added, âI donât think sheâd mind if it takes a couple of days.â
 âNah, I said Iâd do it and Iâm gonna do it.â Boone finally pushed himself to sit on the edge of the couch, Arcadeâs legs shifted to the back. âDonât want her gettinâ stir crazy. Donât know why she doesnât wanna come along herself but I didnât push it.â
 âWell, if youâd like some company, I donât have plans for the day aside from this book and maybe taking Rex out for a bit.â
 Boone snorted. âDonât know how you donât lose your damn mind cooped up in here like that.â
 âEach man delights in the work that suits him best.â
 âRight....,â Boone stood to make room as Arcade pushed himself to sit upright as well. âLooks like clear weather out there though, gonna be fuckinâ scorching.â
 Arcade rolled his eyes, stretching as he stood. âIâll be sure to bring my parasol.â