#smangst

“Oh my god! I can't,” I pant as the man between my legs continues his torturous pace-sucking my swollen clit between his lips and sliding his long, thick fingers into my body.

“Hmmm,” he hums and I can feel his lips curve into a smile against her folds. “I think you can. And I'm going to prove it!”

I see stars as he crooks his fingers and taps that spot inside. My voice is hoarse and scratchy as I scream his name.

Green eyes meet my brown ones once my soul returns; his pink lips puffy and glistening with my release, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

“You thought I forgot how to make you squirt?” he asks with a tsk. “Baby, I remember everything about you. Even how well you take my-” he slams into me suddenly-”dick.”

Hours later, the two of us lay in bed sweaty and breathless, both trying to calm down; my head is perched upon his bicep as I stare at the ceiling above.

I can’t help but think back to seven years ago, I packed up and left my hometown behind; also leaving him behind. The boy I loved. The love of my life. But at 18 years old and newly graduated, I didn't think this little town was enough.

I wanted more. I needed adventure. The chance to experience life! So with tears in my eyes and a shattered heart in my chest, I bid adieu to what I knew and set out for the unknown.

And adventure I surely did find! I navigated the white waters in North Carolina, base-jumped from the New River Gorge Bridge in West Virginia, went skydiving in Tennessee.

The East Coast was chock full of adventures I'd only ever dreamt about. But, as with anything, those experiences had come to an end.

Three months ago I moved back to my hometown and, just a month ago, I fell right back into bed with him. My high school boyfriend, my ex.

He had shot back into my life like a cannonball - hot, heavy and destructive. He was ruining my heart all over again. And I was letting him.

Because no matter how great the sex was - phenomenal actually - he wasn’t mine anymore.

Sure he came to me almost every evening, bedding me and making me see stars as he pulled orgasm after orgasm from my body, but he had a wife. Someone he went “home” to; someone who wasn't me.

Every day I swore to myself that I was going to put a stop to the affair but every night I ended up wrapped around him as he plowed into my willing body.

Had I mentioned the sex was out of this world?

He never slept at my place. No, after a good post-sex cuddle session, he would leave the warmth of my bed, get dressed and walk out the door to return home to the wife.

Tonight, that was all going to change. I was putting my foot down and giving him an ultimatum - me or her. It would be his choice.

I worried that he would choose the wife but if a man is seeking intimacy and coitus with someone else, he must not be getting any at home, right?

Right?

I was prepared, I told myself as soon as the door opened, I would jump right in and tell him what was going to happen; he’d pick me or her and if he picked her we would have no more wild romps. However with one look at his face, my bravado faltered, oh hell, it totally vanished.

He looked at me with carnality. The lust in his eyes overtaking the color of his irises. He strode right up to me and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me to him.

His kiss was hard, biting and encompassing. I fought to keep up but he was on a mission.

“I can't wait to be buried in that tight little cunt of yours,” he gritted out. “My dick has been hard for too long already.”

I whimpered shamelessly. I always loved to hear him whisper filthy things. It was a definite turn-on in our younger days.

By the way my pussy dripped, it still was.

Before I knew it, my body was naked and bent over the back of the sofa.

“Look at you-” he said, the smirk in his voice was evident. “-that pussy is a mess!! So sloppy wet, just waiting to be stuffed.”

“FUCK!” I screamed as he buried himself to the hilt. His fingers gripped my waist as he started railing into me as if there was no tomorrow.

“Yeah, this pussy just loves my cock. She's squeezing it so tight. Goddamn, I might just have to pump my cum all up in there. Knock you up. You'd like that wouldn't you?”

When I didn't answer, he slapped my ass. “Wouldn't you?” he asked, his voice a little more demanding.

Although my mind was yelling at me to stop him- stop this- my mouth had other ideas.

“Yes! Put a baby in me!”

He released my left hip and reached around to start flicking my clit, causing that coil inside to tighten.

“Come on baby-” he coaxed. “-come on my dick. I want you to cream all over it.”

I moaned as I felt the coil snap and the orgasm take over. My vision went dark and all I could hear was the sound of his groin hitting my ass.

“That's it. God, you feel like heaven. Love it when you come.”

He continued his vulgar dialogue as I came back to reality.

“I'm so fucking close,” he stated. “You'll be leaking me for days.”

A few seconds later he groaned and stilled, his dick shooting his load deep inside. We stayed in position for a while afterwards, catching our breath.

I whimpered as he pulled out and his cum seeped out and slid down my inner thigh. The sound of a zipper caught my attention and I turned to see he had never fully undressed, just unzipped his pants and pulled himself from the confines.

I was stunned at that. He had always undressed before we fucked. But tonight was different; he had stayed clothed.

“You’re on birth control, right?” He asked, looking at anything but me. “I got carried away. It just felt so good, I didnt want to pukl out. So we're covered right?”

The hand on the back of his neck gave away his apprehension and self-doubt. He was never in this for me; he just wanted to get his dick wet. The allure of the clandestinity of an affair drove him, not the love we once shared.

“GET OUT!” I screamed through the tears. “GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!”

I watched through the tears as he nodded and then walked out the door.

A few weeks months later, I sit on that same sofa as I wait for an answer. When the timer buzzes I open my eyes to see one word.

POSITIVE.

Shit.

—-----------

Tears run down my face as the vision of white stick blurs. How could this have happened? Why had I let my defenses down?

The answer was simple. It was him; because of him. I had allowed my heart to take control and believe that we still had something, the spark was still there.

I grab a throw pillow and scream into it as the tears rack my body. I was pregnant with a married man's bastard! Fuck my life!

Being back in my hometown after leaving so long ago means that things have changed. All of my friends have married and moved away or just moved on to better lives. I had no one to talk to since my parents had passed away and I'd been an only child.

I was 25 and alone. And pregnant!

Spending the whole weekend on that couch, binging old television shows and contemplating my predicament, I made a decision.

I would carry and have his child and if anyone asks, I'll tell them I had come back to raise my child the same way I'd been raised.

As long as I didn't run into him.

The plan seemed plausible and credible. I could do this! Our hometown was big enough for the two of us to never encounter one another. I simply needed to avoid a few key places. I'd make sure not to run into him!

Come Monday morning, I called the local OB/GYN and made an appointment; I can use the insurance money from my parents' deaths to buy what is needed to be a single mom.

I don't need his help. I don't need him

And I know that is a big fucking lie! Even as I think about it, I begin to cry all over again.

ONE WEEK LATER

Sitting in the waiting room of the obstetrician, I watch as couples come in and others are called back. Each woman is in varying states of their pregnancies and by the look on their faces, are happy. And their partners’ energy matches.

I flip through another magazine, not even paying attention to anything on the pages. The morning sickness had subsided, for now, but other changes are becoming more evident.

My boobs are a cup larger and sore; my fucking pussy spasms out of nowhere, as if I'm fighting off an impending orgasm; but the weight gain was the most shocking.

I knew I’d gain weight-I'm not stupid- but not this soon! I wasn't expecting to have to buy clothes a size bigger before I even began showing.

‘Oh god! What if it's twins?!’

That thought alone made me want to throw up and cry. I could deal with one baby but multiple? I knew I'd lose my mind.

When the nurse calls my name, I stand and approach the pretty brunette - I can’t fully push the idea that I’m heavier than her away and that thought nearly sends me into another crying fit

“Hi. I'm Carla. I'm Dr. Blake's nurse. Come on and we'll get your vitals and get you set up for your checkup.”

The numbers on the scale make me want to cry but Carla assures me that my weight is right where it should be in my pregnancy.

As soon as Carla jots down all the numbers in my chart, she hands a paper gown over.

“I'm sure you know the drill. Bottoms off and put this on,” she says with a smile. “I'll let the doctor know you're ready.”

As she reaches for the door, I catch sight of the massive rock on her left hand. It shimmers on the light and looks like it could weigh a few ounces.

I remember him telling me his wife was a nurse and her name so, of course, I can't help but wonder….is that her?

After undressing and climbing onto the examination table, I sit and think. ‘If that's his wife, how'd she react knowing the creature inside me was put there by her own husband. That he had fucked a baby right into my womb.

I laugh as I imagine the look of absolute horror on her face, then I laugh again when I realize that’s the first real laugh I’ve had in a few days.

When the doctor enters the room I see Carla joining him and I smile sweetly at her.

I stare at the ceiling, stealing sideway glances at her as Dr. Blake does the internal exam. Carla was clueless - so oblivious.

“Everything looks good,” he tells me as he pulls the sheet back over my legs.

‘Dude you were just all up in my cunt, no use for modesty now!’

“Let's take a look at your baby, shall we?” he asks with a clap of his hands.

I can’t help but think he sounds far more excited about that prospect than I do, but I keep my mouth shut and just offer an, “Mmhmm.”

Carla rolls the ultrasound cart over and pulls my gown up to squirt that fucking cold ass gel on my skin.

My attention is pulled away from my probable nemesis as the sound of a train fills the air.

“Good, steady heartbeat,” the doctor says. “Let's get some measurements and then I'll let you take a peek.”

He moves the wand around on my stomach, pressing in at points while typing his findings on the keypad.

“Measurement reading for about 12 weeks; that sound about right to you?”

I nod and glance at Carla. She is her jolly self and throws a smile my way.

The doctor wipes the gel off my skin and then turns the screen toward me. There, somewhere on the black and white screen, is our baby. Mine and his.

I tear up as the doctor points out various indicators and finally, finally I can make out the first images of my baby.

Carla speaks up in her saccharine voice, “I'll make sure you get a copy of it to add to your memorabilia.”

“Thanks,” I choke out, my eyes never leaving the screen.

As soon as I got into the privacy of my own vehicle, I pulled the grainy image out and just stared at it, my fingertip slowly tracing the outline of my child.

This baby was a mistake. He or she wasn't intended to be conceived but that didn’t mean it wasn't already fiercely loved. I would lay my life on the line for them, no matter what.

I had dreams years ago of having Beau’s baby- back when we were hot and heavy and in love- but we'd been too young and I had that adventurous bone to contend with.

But now, I'm settled and ready to be a Mom. Just never imagined I would be doing it alone.

The doctor had given me a prescription for prenatal vitamins so I put the picture away and drove to the nearest pharmacy, not knowing my plan was about to go to hell.

—----------

I'm browsing the aisles while I await my medication to be filled when I turn a corner and stop in my tracks.

At the opposite end of the aisle is Mrs. Regina Arlen, Beau's mom. I had at one time had a close bond with her when I was dating her son. She was almost like a second mom to me.

But now, after all these years and the fact that I'd broken her son's heart, I was uncertain of the kind of reception my presence would reap.

My worries are almost alleviated when Mama Arlen, as I always referred to her as, turns and sees me.

“Oh my sweet Jesus! Are my eyes deceiving me? Is that my darling Sunshine back from her daredevil voyage?”

I smile as I watch her approach me. “Yeah, Mama Arlen, it's me.”

She pulls me to her and hugs hard. “I've been so worried about you, child! When did you get back?”

We pull apart and I look at her. She has aged since the last time I saw her. The laugh lines around her eyes are deeper and her beautiful auburn hair is tinged with some gray.

“I've been back for about 4 months now.”

“And you didn't think to come see us? Tsk tsk. Does Beau know you've returned?”

I cringe internally as the lie slips off my tongue. “Oh, I don't know. I guess, maybe?"

She opens her mouth but right then the pharmacist calls my name. Unfortunately Mama Arlen follows me to the counter.

“Your prenatal vitamins are ready. Might I suggest you take them with something in your stomach, a banana or something. Helps with nausea,” the pharmacist explains and I hear a gasp behind me.

“Oh my god! You're pregnant? Congratulations!”

I paste a smile on my face as I look at Mama Arlen. “Thanks.”

“How far along are you?”

“About 5 months.” Another lie.

“Is that why you came home? Is the baby's father with you?”

I want to roll up in a ball and disappear. Tears sting my eyes but I blink them away. It's time to put my plan into action.

“I wanted to give them the same kind of childhood I had. You know, the people in our town watching out for one another but where a kid could still be a kid.

“No, he's not with me-” I pause as I think that's only a half-lie. “-I’m doing this solo.”

“Not as long as I am alive no you are not,” Mama Arlen commands. “This is my unofficial grandchild you're carrying. You are not alone in this, ya hear me?”

“Yes ma'am.” I could cry for a whole other reason now.

Mama Arlen drapes her arm around my shoulder, ushering me toward the door. “None of that ma'am stuff, I'm Mama Arlen. And now Mamaw Arlen.”

I end up spending the rest of the afternoon with Mama Arlen shopping for baby supplies and maternity necessities before heading home with a car load of bags and boxes.

It hit me on the drive home that she has unwittingly just spent hundreds on her son's mistress and bastard baby, her ‘unofficial’ official grandchild.

By the time my second trimester rolls in, I have gotten accustomed to the changes my body was going through and the nausea had diminished. Just in time for a new issue to arise.

I seem to always be horny. The shower wand was getting plenty of use as it put the perfect pressure on my constantly engorged clit.

I am in the shower, with my legs spread, holding the sprayer to my pussy and close to orgasm when I hear the distinct sound of knocking on my front door.

“Damn it!” I groan as I shut the water off before my body could climax. 'Who the hell is trying to break my door down?'

By the time I wrap my robe around my still damp body, the knocks have turned into a harsh pounding. I freeze as I hear the voice on the other side.

“Goddammit! I know you're home. We need to talk. NOW!”

It was Beau. And he sounded pissed off.

I open the door and he pushes his way past me, storming into the living room and turning toward me.

I can't help but admire him. He's in his officer's uniform, minus the gun belt or attached radio- meaning he's off-duty.

“So I just had an interesting conversation. I went by my parents’ place to help Dad move a bookcase and Mom can't stop talking about running into you and spending the afternoon with ya a few weeks ago,” he explains. “Then she tells me you're pregnant. Pregnant! And I did the math.”

“A subject that was never your speciality,” I joke but also fearing his next words. Yet still, I can't help but marvel at just how sexy and hot he looks.

He opens his mouth but I interrupt him. “Can I suck your dick?”

His lips open and close and open again before he speaks. “Uh, what?!”

I slap a hand over my mouth, my eyes widening at my forwardness. But I also notice the effect my request has on him. The tip of his ears and the apples of his cheeks are shaded a light pink, meaning he's slightly flustered but getting turned on.

So, I let my hand fall away from my face and step toward him. “Listen, you and I both know why you're here and you and I both know the answer to the question you're not asking.”

I untie the knot on my robe and let it fall open, showing my nude body underneath.”You interrupted my shower, where I was so close to coming. I need to come. You can help me before we get into all that.”

Beau's eyes travel down my exposed skin, appreciating my growing boobs before his eyes land on my stomach.

His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and his eyes continue down to my smooth-shaven mound.

I let the robe slip from my shoulders and land in a pile at my heels. Stepping closer to him, I drop to my knees and look up at him. “Please?”

Beau hurriedly unbuttons his slacks and rips the zipper down. I smile as he pulls his already half-hard cock from his boxers.

Leaning in, I kiss the warm skin of his shaft before bending to suck the tip between my lips.

“Fuck!” he mumbles above me.

I slowly take him in, inch by inch until my lips are stretched around his now fully erect dick. Wrapping my hand around what doesn't fit, I begin pumping as I hollow my cheeks and suck. My pussy is dripping on the floor as my clit tingles.

Bobbing my head, I moan as the saltiness of his pre-cum coats my mouth. I've always loved sucking Beau's dick and even after all these years, it is still just as good.

His cock jumps against my tongue and I look up through my lashes to see Beau has taken his uniform shirt off.

He grabs me by my armpits and pulls me off him, lifting me as if I don't weigh anything. I wrap my legs around his waist as our mouths collide, our tongues instantly tangling.

Shuffling toward my bedroom, Beau never lets go or stops kissing me. We land on the bed, him on bottom and his rock hard cock pokes my asscheek.

“Take what you need baby,” he says against my lips.

I sit up and let his dick slap up against his groin. I begin writhing with it trapped between us. His large hands land on my hips, not stopping me, just holding on.

The mixture of my saliva and juices aid in my movements but I knew what I now wanted and needed.

Reaching down and grabbing him at the base, I kneel and place his tip against my entrance. Locking eyes with him, I sink down slowly until I am fully encasing him inside me.

We both moan loudly and I begin rocking back and forth, bouncing slightly.

“Come on honey, “ he mutters. “You can do better than that.”

I plant my palms on his freckled chest and begin fucking myself on him, the walls of my pussy fluttering and my clit singing as it gets pressed against his pubic area.

“Fuck baby. You feel so good. That tight pussy taking what it wants. C'mon, you can go harder. Ride that cock.”

My thighs ache and my back hurts as I speed up my movements but when Beau's thumb stretches and starts rubbing my clit, I see stars.

My previous impending climax takes over and I lose all my senses. I scream his name as I explode around him.

Suddenly his hands are holding my hips tightly as he pushes up into me, his own release painting my still spasming walls.

When we both come back down, I slump down against him and he wraps his arms around me.

We lay there for a long time, him softening inside me.

As I come out of my slumber, my body feels light. I had a great orgasm and now my mind and body seem to be on the same page.

I move but something holds me still. I realize it's a heavy object that actually tightens as I shift.

“Hmmm,” a deep voice hums behind me and I realize that Beau and I had both fallen asleep. He has never gone to sleep here before! He has always gotten dressed and left not long after we were done fucking.

“Beau? We went to sleep,” I say as I finally am able to turn to look at him. I stare at his face, relaxed and tranquil. Once again, just like old times, I get carried away counting the freckles that dot across his nose and cheeks.

Then reality settles back in and I call his name again. “Beau! Wake up.”

He groans but then whispers, “I'm awake. Shit! I gotta take a piss.”

With one eye open he throws the sheet off him and rolls out of bed, walking buck ass naked to the bathroom.

He saunters back in as if it's the most normal thing-to be naked as the day he was born and joining me back in bed.

“Beau? What the hell?”

“What?”

“Don’t you need to leave? Isn't your wife going to wonder where you are?”

“She's on the night shift at the hospital.”

“Oh.”

By now, he has sat himself on the mattress, his back leaning against the headboard.

“Is it mine?” he asks, now fully awake. He looks worried, scared, but also a little hopeful. I sigh and pull myself up to mirror him.

“Of course,” I answer, truthfully. “You're the only one I've ever been with.”

He nods but then narrows his eyes at me. “Really?”

“Yes, really. I've only ever been with you and this baby in my womb is yours.” I sigh again, defeatedly. “I didn't mean for this to happen. But that's why I wasn't on birth control. I had no reason to be.”

“So this is my fault? You're blaming me?”

“No,” I defend. “We are both at fault.”

“My mom's gonna murder me,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “They'll never be able to find my body.”

I begin to feel bad for him, I can't help it. At this moment, he doesn't look like a 25 year old married man with a distinguished job; he looks like a 17 year old who just realized he fucked up.

“I didn't tell her who the father is,” I try to assuage him.

He looks at me then- really looks at me- and sneers, “Until it comes out looking like an Arlen. Then she'll know. Hell, everyone will know. Fuck, Carla will know!”

“And if I have to, I'll deny it,” I say, still trying to alleviate the situation.

The sheet slips down and Beau can't help but glance down at my now exposed breasts. I go to tug it back up but he stops me.

“Don't.”

I look at him as he takes me in. “They're bigger. You always had pretty tits but now they're beautiful. I notice his cock twitching and hardening.

“Beau,” I say, trying to de-esculate what is happening but he doesn’t pay attention. He moves and before I know it, I am on my back with him hovering.

He bends his head and takes a nipple into his mouth, tugging the stiff peak with his teeth. My body betrays me and I moan and my cunt begins dripping.

By the time he slides into me, both breasts have been given equal attention, bruises appearing where he suckled; marking me up.

His thrusts are gentle but deep. His forehead rests against mine as we hold eye contact. It is intimate and familiar. We weren’t just fucking, we were making love.

We both meet our ends simultaneously and hold one another for hours. By the time he is dressed and ready to leave, my heart is stitched back together and beating just for him.

He vows to come clean to his family, including his wife, and claim the child growing inside me.

I lay in bed long after he's gone, satiated and happy. And once again imagining our life together.

Beau becomes a semi-permanent presence in my home, spending hours with me, listening to my concern about the baby and staring at the ultrasound picture.

We usually end up in my bed, tangled around one another. We're fucking more now than we did when we were teenagers.

—‐—--------

I'm apprehensive as I drive to my next appointment knowing that I'll probably be confronted by Carla and I am dreading it.

But to my surprise when she calls my name, she's wearing a friendly smile. When she asks me how I've been she listens with interest.

I am dying to ask her if Beau told her my baby belonged to him but a nagging little voice in my head tells me not to cause a scene.

I tell her that the father is back in my life and is excited about the baby. I go as far as to tell her this is actually his hometown too but she only answers with a “That's great!” and another dazzling smile.

After the appointment I wait until I'm in the car before calling Beau.

“Hello?” he answers.

“Hey,” I say and then there's a beat of silence. “I had another check-up today. Thought you'd want an update.”

“How is the spawn?” He asks and I catch a bit of nonchalance and disdain but I choose to ignore it.

“Our child is the size of an avocado, weighs about 4-6 ounces. Dr. Blake said the heartbeat was strong and everything seems to be progressing as it should. He asked if I had felt any movement yet.”

“Have you?” Beau asks but he didn't sound as enthused as I had expected.

“No. Listen, did I call at a bad time?”

A deep sigh comes through the phone. “Kinda. I really need to go. See you later?”

“Yea of course.”

We end the call and I find myself dismissing his indifference ‘he must be busy on a case.’

I drive across the street to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner and then head home. I'm planning a nice, romantic meal to celebrate another month closer to bringing our baby into the world.

By 9pm, the steaks are cold and the untouched salad sits in a bowl on the counter. Beau hasn't shown up, he hasn't called and I begin to worry.

Did I call him today and interrupt some big case he was working and screw it all up? Had he been injured? Should I call Mama Arlen, or maybe even the local hospital?

I pick the phone to begin dialing when I hear a car door shut outside. Rushing to the window, I pull the curtain aside to see Beau walking toward the front door.

When I open it, I expect him to be happy but that's not the look I get. Instead, my brain reminds me of the last time I saw this look. The night he impregnated me.

Beau walks past me, silent and brooding. He stops in the living room and scans the dining room table.

“Did you cook for me?”

“Uh, yea?” I answer, confused.

“That's sweet,” he says but then turns back toward me. “I'd rather eat something else though.”

He strides down the hall and into the bedroom without another word. I watch him, bewildered but aroused.

I walk to the bedroom to find Beau already undressed and lying on my bed, his dick hard and leaking in his fist.

“Get undressed and climb on.”

I quickly remove my clothing and go to straddle him but he stops me. “Sit on my face while you suck my big cock.”

I would be lying if I said I didn't almost combust at the command. If there's one thing Beau Arlen is good at, it's eating me out. Of course I have nothing to compare but I seriously doubt anyone else can eat pussy like him.

As soon as I'm over him, he wraps his strong arms around my thighs and pulls me down. I whine and try to writhe as he starts licking and sucking my folds, flicking my clit with his tongue.

“Start sucking,” he mumbles against me so I reach down and wrap my hand around his length.

He tongue fucks me as I take him as deep as I can, hollowing my cheeks and bobbing my head up and down.

My climax is close and I whimper as he slips a finger inside while sucking and nibbling my bundle of nerves.

I see stars when he inserts another finger and taps on my g-spot. My juices shoot out of me and I hear him slurping and groaning.

As soon as my senses come back to me, I continue my ministrations, trying to give him the same pleasure he had just given me.

His dick is twitching between my lips and then swells before his sweet and salty cum fills my mouth. I swallow all I can but some of it leaks out and pools at the base. I make sure to suck all of it from his shaft and head before letting go and licking up the puddle on his groin.

“Damn that was good,” he says when I climb off him and turn for our usual cuddle session but he breaks the bubble of familiarity. “Give me a few and I'll fuck you good and hard.”

I place my head on his chest, now feeling dirty and puzzled. What was this?

“Beau?”

“Yea, baby?”

“Did you tell your family yet?”

“I told you I would, didn't I?”

“Did you tell Carla?”

Silence fills the room as I hold my breath. Finally Beau sighs and responds, “ Haven't figured out how to do that yet.”

I push myself up and look down at him. “What does that mean?”

“Mom's ecstatic, just so you know,” he deflects. “She cried and shouted for joy.”

“Beau,” you say. “Why haven't you told your wife?”

He drops his head back against the headboard and sighs. “I love her, okay? And she loves me. I just can't break her heart. Not right now, not until after-” he trails off.

“After what Beau?”

“This is not a conversation to have when we're both naked.” He sits up and goes to move but I hold my ground.

“Too bad. I'm not moving until you fucking tell me why you haven't told your wife that you have a kid on the way. With me!”

He closes his eyes and just breathes. Deep, calming breaths before he begins speaking.

“About a year ago, she lost her Mom. It was unexpected. Car’ was devastated. She barely made it through the funeral. And now the anniversary of that is coming up and I can see her begin to spiral. I'm afraid this would push her over the edge.”

“Oh,” is all I can say. Maybe he has a good reason to not have told her yet, after all.

“But-” he begins as he turns his head to look at me. “I will, eventually.”

“You know she is the nurse at my obstetrician's office, right?” I ask, assuming he had already figured that out but from his reaction, I see that's not the case.

“What?” His eyes widen in surprise and I catch a touch of panic on his face. “Oh god. You can't tell her! Please tell me you haven't said anything to her.”

He stands and begins pacing beside my bed. He is thoroughly and utterly panicking. Beau runs his hand through his hair as he mumbles to himself. “Fuck!”

“Don't worry. I told her the father wasn't in the picture,” I finally admit to hopefully calm him down. “Which, at that time, wasn't a lie. Although I thought that had changed. Now, I'm not so sure.”

He stops and turns toward me. “What do you mean you thought it changed? I'm married for God's sake!”

I jump out of bed and stand toe to toe with him, looking up at his face. “Because when you found out I was pregnant, you stormed over here and we ended up in this very bed! We fucked, you stayed, we fucked again! I actually thought you still felt something for me that morning.

“Actually, that second time I thought we were making love,” the tears well up in my eyes but I blink them away. I refuse to let them fall. “You said you would come clean and claim this baby-”

“I did!” Beau interrupts me. “I told Mom and Dad.”

“And what if they say something to her? Huh? How's she gonna feel finding out that way?”

“I made my parents promise not to tell anyone.”

The air fills with a thwack as my palm lands against his cheek. “You motherfucking asshole! What am I? Just a dirty little secret?” I yell in his face. “I am carrying your child for fuck's sake!”

The tears escape and run down my cheeks as I look Beau in the eye. “We have history! You were the love of my life. You are the love of my life.”

“I still have feelings for you,” he admits and I can feel my heart shatter like glass. He sees the damage his words provoke and tries to save face. “I do love you. I always have and I think I always will. But, you left. You left and I moved on.”

I back away and sit on the edge of the mattress. “I was gonna come back. I didn't plan on being gone forever. I was coming back to you.”

He kneels down and places his hands on my knees, looking into my eyes. I can see the pain and conviction he's carrying. “Deep down I think I knew that but I let the hurt and anger take control. I swore I'd never let another person hurt me the same way. I'm sorry. But the longer you were gone, the less it hurt and then I met Carla and we fell in love.

“Now you're back and pregnant and I just don't know what to do. I love her, sweetheart. I love her deeply. I just don't know what to do.”

—---------

I scream as another contraction wracks my body. I've been in active labor for, going on 9 hours now and I am worn out, sweaty and ready to be done.

Mama Arlen stands to my right, holding my hand and wiping the sweat from my brow. “I know, Sunshine. I know. It hurts like a bitch. But you are strong. You are doing wonderful. A few more and then it'll be time to push.”

I take a few cleansing breaths as we wait for the next one to begin. The nurse- unsurprisingly not Carla- checks the machine recording the contraction and types it into the computer.

“Dr. Blake will be in shortly to check your progress,” she tells me. “Shouldnt be much longer until you're holding your baby in your arms.”

She walks out of the room, quietly closing the door.

I close my eyes and then open them to look at my coach.

“I thought he'd be here,” I say, sorrowfully.

“One thing about the men in the Arlen family is that they are all stubborn and bull-headed. But I'm sure he would be here if he could.”

I feel another contraction beginning and I bare down in preparation.

A few hours later, I have a perfect little bundle of joy in my arms, nursing. Mama Arlen is cooing and jabbering about how much she loves her grandchild.

The door opens and Beau enters, still in his uniform. I can see Carla behind him, but she stays behind as Beau steps into the room.

He stands still as he looks at his mom, then me before looking down at the baby in my arms.

“Beau, meet Amarilla Diane Arlen,” his Mom says softly. “Millie.”

I smile as Beau steps up next to the bed, his eyes watery but smiling. “You still used that name?”

“Of course. It was always going to Amarilla. We chose it when we were 16 years old.”

Millie finishes eating and Mama takes her from me, placing her in her father's arms. “She needs to burp so you gotta bounce her a little, son.”

Beau stiffly begins moving his arms up and down, getting praises from his mother.

“She has your eyes,” I tell him as I cover myself up. “My nose and chin but your eyes,” I tell him, laughing lightly.

“She's beautiful,” Beau says as he looks down at his daughter, his face full of love and adoration.

“I know.”

—---------

Carla had thrown a fit when Beau told her about the baby but they made up and are still married. She welcomed Millie as Beau's daughter with open arms.

But she and I had minimal interaction, her allowing Beau and I to coordinate visits and stays. She was surprisingly supportive, though, when Millie got sick and had a hospital stay. Carla didn’t bat an eye that Beau planned to stay the night in the hospital with us.

Life never is easy though. It doesn't always end with presents with pretty little bows.

Because although Carla is understanding and somewhat supportive, Beau and I are still having sex.

The first time, not long after Millie's birth, happens in a blur and we realize too late what we have done. I quickly begin taking the birth control given to me after my postpartum check-up, knowing that neither of us plan to stop.

From then on, Beau shows up on our doorstep when Carla is on night shift at the hospital-under the ruse of spending time with his daughter- but he always ends up in my bed, buried in me.

-FLASHBACK-

“Does she know you stay the night here?” I asked one night, long after we'd put Millie to bed and was relishing in the endorphins of our climaxes.

“I always tell her I fell asleep on the couch,” he answered. “She believes me. Which I know I should feel bad about lying but, really don't.”

I had come to look forward to the weeks she is on night shift. I have the love of my life and we work together to raise our little girl.

-END FLASHBACK-

When Mama Arlen asks to keep Millie overnight during one of those weeks, I relay the message to Beau, who proceeds to inform me, in very graphic detail, what he plans to do to me that night since we will be alone.

Beau shows up that evening and we enjoy a glass of wine before he is pulling me to the bedroom.

He kisses me deeply, our tongues twisting and entwined, as he slowly undresses me. Once my panties hit the floor, he pulls back and gazes at me.

“You're beautiful,” he whispers as he takes my hand and leads me to the bed. He helps me sit on the edge and drops to his knees.

“Spread those legs baby, let me look at you,” he says seductively.

I do as he says watching as he takes me in. He grins as he sees just how wet I already am.

“That pussy is soaked,” he says as he reaches out and runs a knuckle down my folds. I jump at the touch and he chuckles.

“Pretty and pink and just waiting to be stuffed. But first, I think I’m going to have a taste.”

Once again, Beau Arlen is a master at making me lose control as he sucks and licks and fucks me with his tongue until I cum. He swallows my release with a hum like he's just drank the sweetest elixir.

As he stands I sit up and undo his jeans, tugging them down and rubbing the bulge in his boxers.

He tears his shirt over his head and steps out of his pants, kicking them away. When I pull his boxers down, his erection slaps up against his groin.

“Such a beautiful cock,” I declare as I take the sight of it in and lick my lips.

I nudge him to take a step backwards and slide off the mattress to my knees, looking up at him through my lashes. “So big.”

I lean in and kiss the tip then the frenulum and down his shaft to the base. Bending down I suckle his sack, running my lips across each testicle.

“You're killing me baby,” he whimpers from above. I giggle and lick my way back up that hot, pulsing vein to the tip.

Then I wrap my hand around the base and maneuver it to my face. Beau exhales deeply as I draw him into my mouth, twisting my tongue around the tip.

Once he hits the back of my throat, I swallow and then press on, letting him breach the place he's never been before.

“Son of a bitch!” he exclaims as I hold it there, my throat squeezing and trying to eject the foreign object. “Dammit baby, when'd you learn to deep-throat?”

I continue holding him there, fighting my gag reflex until my eyes water so much, the tears begin leaking down my face.

I pull back slowly, hollowing my cheeks and massaging his shaft with my tongue. I kiss the tip, precum smearing my lips before I look up at him, smiling through the tears.

“You just took my throat's virginity,” I joke.

He groans before he picks me up and throws me backward to the bed, where I land with a bounce. He lands on me, holding me down as his lips meet mine, devouring my mouth.

“That was so hot,” he says against my lips.

“Fuck me,” I request, breathlessly.

Beau quickly gets into position, his hard and leaking tip pressing against my entrance. He looks down at me and smiles devilishly as he thrusts and buries his whole length inside.

“Oh god!” I cry out.

“You can call me Beau,” he chuckles as he begins a hard, ruthless pace. I wrap my legs around his pistoning hips and lock my ankles together, holding him inside me.

My arms snake around his neck and I pull his lips to mine, the kiss sloppy and obscene. We swallow each other's moans and groans before we just press our lips together, our eyes imploring one another's.

“You feel so good,” he mumbles. “Tha’ pussy squeezing so tight.”

“Your huge dick is ruining it from the inside out.”

He smiles as he thrusts slow down and he grinds, his groin putting friction and pressure against my clit.

“Oh fuck Beau! I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it. Cum on that big dick inside you.”

I let go, my body tensing as my release explodes.

Beau pulls away from me, grabbing my legs from around his waist and settling them on his shoulders and wrapping his arms around my thighs.

He hammers into me vehemently as he chases his own end. My voice is hoarse and sore from the screams and yelling of his name but it's a satisfying ache.

I speak up to aid in his effort. “That cock feels so good. I can feel it swelling, stretching me open. You're gonna fill me up so full.”

Beau stills, his whole body twitching as his load empties inside me and I think the heavens I remembered my birth control this morning because his release shoots out continuously for quite a while.

“Fuck!” Beau swears as he removes my legs from his shoulders and flops down beside me in bed. “Goddamn, I’m worn out. I can’t move.”

I giggle as I take my place in his arms, his skin sweaty and flushed. “Good thing you're not leaving then.”

We go to sleep, our arms wrapped around one another, our mutually sweaty skin glued together.

—-------

The thing about oral birth control that I didn't consider is that it isn't 100% effective.

A month later, I realize when I wake up nauseous and puking my breakfast up for three days straight.

I don't know how long I sit on the bathroom floor after the latest round of vomiting and it hits me.

‘There's no way!’ I think to myself. ‘It's not possible! I'm right back here again, pregnant by a married man.’

Millie happily chanting “Dada, Dada” from the kitchen brings me out of my daze and I hurriedly clean myself up and flush the toilet.

I can hear Beau's voice, talking to his daughter in her highchair before I even reach the kitchen. I plaster a smile on my face and enter.

“Mornin’ darling,” he says with a grin but drops it when he sees me. “You okay? You're awful pale.”

Damn! I was hoping to hide it. “Yea, just something didn't agree with my stomach this morning.”

“There's a bug goin’ ‘round,” he tells me and I nod. “Do I need to keep Mills while you get better?”

“Dont think Carla will like having to keep her for oh, about 8 months,” I tell him.

“What? What are you talking ab-” Beau begins to ask and then freezes. “What the hell? You're pregnant?”

“I think so. Haven't taken a test yet but all signs point to yes. “

“How? You're on birth control.”

“Birth control isn't 100% certain. We should've been using condoms too.”

“Ah hell sweetheart. You know I've never liked those. We didn't use them back then and I don't wanna start.

“Well, guess what. You raw dog me and I end up pregnant.”

I begin to tear up and he sees it, crossing the room and pulling me into his arms. “It'll be okay. I promise,” he tries to reassure.

“How?” I cry into his shirt. “How will it be okay? We shouldn't have kept fucking. After that first time, we should have put our attention on our daughter and kept it in our pants.”

“Do you regret it?” he whispers into my hair. “Because I don't.”

I don't answer right away. I consider his question carefully and finally come to a conclusion.

I shake my head. “No. I don’t regret it. But this isn't going to go over well with your wife.”

“Let me worry about that,” he says before urging me to step back from him. He wipes my tears away and smiles. “Right now, I'm going to get a test and then come back and we'll find out if there's another Arlen in your womb.”

He kisses me once, twice, three times before turning and kissing the top of Millie's head. “I love you girls.”

I stand there stunned as he saunters out the door; as if he didn't just drop an earth-shattering bomb right in the middle of my kitchen.

When he returns a half hour later, Millie is thankfully down for her nap and I've cleaned the mess that was her breakfast. I'm still reeling from his declaration.

‘Did he mean it? He hasn't told me he loved me since we were 17 years old and I was talking about leaving town. Did he just lump me into the equation so I wouldn't feel left out? Does he love me and not Carla anymore? Or does he love us both equally but differently?’

“What are you thinking so hard about?” he asks when he joins me in the kitchen. “You worried about the pregnancy?”

“Beau,” I breathe out as I look at him. “You said you loved me.”

“So?”

“So? So you haven't told me that in almost a decade, since I began talking about leaving town.”

“Baby,” he says with a smile. “I've always loved you. I always will. You were my first love. We lost our virginity to each other. I loved you then and I love you now.”

“But, but you're married. Do you love her?”

His face falls and he sighs. “I wish I didn't but yeah I love Carla. She helped build me back up after you left. She showed me that I wasn't a broken man. I fell in love with her but didn't give her my whole heart because the biggest part of it was reserved for you.”

I couldn't hold the tears and let them run down my face. He loved me! He really loved me.

“I love you too. God, I love you so much.”

“Well, let's go see if our love created another spawn,” he jokes, holding the bag in his hand up and shaking it.

I laugh through the tears as I shake my head, “I hate when you call them that.”

“Sorry,” he says. “Let's go see if we've created another perfect baby.”

“Good god, how many tests did you buy?” I ask when I dump the bag out on the bathroom sink.

“Dunno,” he shrugs, leaning against the doorframe.. “Got one of each.”

I pick the ones that I recognize as solid and trusted brands and place the others back in the bag.

“You gonna watch me pee?”

“Uh, would it be weird if I said yes? Not that it's a kink, I just wanna be here for it all.”

“Okay then,” I nod as I open each test and set them in a line along the edge of the tub. I pull my shorts and panties down and sit on the toilet.

Five minutes seem like 10 years as we wait for the results. Neither of us speaking; just staring at the sticks and waiting.

When Beau's phone chimes, signaling time is up, we look at one another and then turn to the sticks.

“You do it,” I whisper. “I'm too nervous.”

Beau reaches for the first one and I screw my eyes shut. There is no sound, just complete silence so I open my eyes.

The five test sticks have been turned over. All show the same result. I look at Beau with wide eyes. He smiles and I notice his lashes are wet.

“We're pregnant,” I breathe out and giggle. “Oh my god! We're having another baby!”

I turn and jump into his arms, crying for joy.

-Beau's POV (a few days later)-

I sat in my office waiting for the moment I could leave - not that I was excited to go; today, I was telling my wife that I’d continued sleeping with my ex and that we were going to be parents for a second time.

I had never intended to have an affair to begin with. It started when I came back from a deep undercover job - I’d spent nearly a year in the field and two days after we’d wrapped up the final arrests, I bumped into her.

After that case where I’d truly seen some shit and wasn’t in a good head space, I was as raw as an exposed nerve and she was the comfort and familiarity I didn't know I'd been missing. I couldn’t even put it into words. Somehow even after all those years I knew she wasn’t going to judge me. I could release the pent up emotions of the last year without being asked too many questions or asked to explain my feelings because she somehow always just knew.

We exchanged phone numbers and began to text each other, then we met for lunch, and as they say the rest is history.

I hadn’t meant to kiss her; I was just trying to be the gentleman my Mama raised me to be. I walked her to her car after we'd met for lunch, laughing and reminiscing about the past. And then she turned and looked at me.

I swear I was catapulted back in time and that young girl I was head over heels for when I was in my teens was gazing up at me. Before I could give it a second thought, I'd cupped her cheek and pulled her to me.

One thing led to another and soon after we were parked on the side of a deserted road, with her in my lap writhing against my dick as I messaged her breasts.

“Beau,” she whimpered and I about lost my mind.

“Shh, don't say anything,” I encouraged her.

The moment she sunk down on me, my eyes rolled back. It'd been so damn long since I felt her like this. She's always been so tight and wet. Nothing like- no, do not compare her to your wife!

I bent my head and sucked a nipple into my mouth, nibbling the pebbled bud before licking away the sting.

She's bouncing in my lap and I am so close to shooting my load. I remembered well what would get her to the edge so I reached between us and flicked her clit with my fingertip.

Her whole body spasmed and she yelled as she shattered around me, her juices soaking my cock and my lap.

I bit her shoulder as my release hit and I filled her with my seed.

It was supposed to be a one-time thing. We agreed about that.

But only a few days later, I stood at her front door- ready, willing and able- to fuck her again. To feel that contentment and peacefulness I've only ever felt with her.

And I kept going back for the ease and calm I felt only with her. I was beginning to remember the love we shared when we were younger, the companionship of my best friend.

Although I tried to deny it-god, did I try- spending time with her made me realize I never stopped loving and yearning for her.

The first time I told Carla that my ex was pregnant with my baby, she asked how long I'd been having an affair.

Like a coward, I lied. Told her it was a one-time thing; that we just got carried away in our memories and it just happened.

She was hurt, as she should be. Her husband had just admitted to having an affair and now a baby was involved.

After a lot of yelling and even more crying, Carla had forgiven me, saying she understood because she remembers the wreck I was when she first met me, after being left behind.

When Millie was born, Carla stepped back and let us learn how to co-parent. But when Millie had to be hospitalized at 8 months old, she surprised me by not disputing my need to stay with them.

That was the night I realized I was still in love with the mother of my child, my ex. We fucked on her sofa the day Millie was released from the hospital.

After that, she and I were pretty hot and heavy and thinking back now, it's surprising she hadn't gotten pregnant already!

I pull into the driveway and see Carla through the window, curled up in her favorite chair, probably reading.

I know I have to come clean, to tell the truth. It will more than likely end my marriage, but there's no one to blame but myself. I began the affair with her, I'm the one who got her pregnant- twice.

I sit in my truck for a few moments, gathering the courage to go inside and face the music.

Opening the door, Carla glances over at me. “Long shift?”

“Long day,” I answer as I throw the keys in the bowl beside the door. “We need to talk. I have something to tell you and you're not going to like it.”

Carla closes her book and sits up. “What's wrong?”

I sit in the seat across from her, my elbows on my knees. “Y/N's pregnant,” I tell her, ripping the bandaid off quickly. I hang my head down, ready for the repercussions.

“Is this one yours too?” Carla asks, snarky but with a hint of tongue-in-cheek humor.

“Yes.”

She stands up suddenly, throwing her book at me. “What do you mean, yes?! You said Millie was a one-time thing, an accident! Are you telling me you and her had another accident and somehow your penis ended up in her vagina?! Please, Beauregard! Please explain to me how two pregnancies happen, accidentally.”

I finally look up at her to see her chest heaving and her whole body vibrating with fury.

“Carla, babe. I lied, okay?. She and I have been sleeping together for a while now. Millie was an accident, but not from a one-time thing. You know how much I loved-love- her; you met me at my lowest after she left.”

“Did you ever even love me? Or was I a temporary place holder in your life until she returned?”

“I do love you, Car. That's why this is so hard! I love you but I love her too! She is my one- the girl I gave everything to.”

“You are nothing but a cheating bastard!” Carla yells as she pulls her wedding rings off and throws them at me. “I thought I knew you. I thought you were a good, decent man but I was wrong.”

“Car, don't-”

“I'm packing a bag and leaving. Don't contact me. I'm filing for divorce tomorrow.”

She turns and walks away and I sit back in the chair, feeling exposed and raw; like a lesser man. Every word Carla threw at me was the truth.

I watch silently as she descends the stairs with a suitcase and a bag. She stops at the door and looks back. She huffs and then sniffs and walks out the door.

Night falls and I'm still sitting in the same spot, contemplating on what to do next.

-END BEAU'S POV-

—-----------

The birth of Archer William Arlen comes early in the evening on a warm day in September.

He makes his presence known with the loudest squall, mad at being evicted from his nice warm cocoon.

Beau is there, holding my hand and hiding the wince when it feels as though his bones are gonna be crushed to dust.

He coaches me through each contraction, telling me how proud he is and how much he loves me. I know eventually I will appreciate it but as I'm delivering his child, I’d really like to cut his dick off and feed it to a gator.

And in the midst of a strong contraction, I tell him exactly that. He winces and apologizes, much to the amusement of the staff in the room

Beau cuts the cord and follows the nurse to the other side of the room, not letting his son out of his sight.

“Archie” isn't so little and I gasp when I find out I just pushed a 10 ½ pound baby from my vagina!

Unfortunately he doesn't pass his neonatal screenings and has to spend a few days in NICU.

The doctor sits down with Beau and I and explains that the tests show Archie has congenital hypothyroidism, or CH, and needs to be monitored.

“CH is quite common in newborns,” the doctor explains. “Because his TSH levels are high, your son's brain is telling his body to produce more thyroid hormones than it can. The lack of the hormone affects growth and development.

“The good news is this could correct itself in the next few days but if not, we will have to begin giving him a synthetic thyroid hormone replacement called Levothyroxine. If we do, he will have to take it everyday, possibly for life. That's the not-so-good news.

“An endocrinologist will keep a check on his levels and can better tell you how it could affect him if he misses a dose or stops the treatment.”

“Oh god!” I cry, covering my face with my hands.

Beau immediately hugs me and tries to calm me down. “We'll get through this. We'll do whatever it takes to make sure our son is healthy.”

We are just beginning dinner when a voice comes over the hospital's intercom.

“Code PINK. I repeat, we have a code PINK. Security is alerted.”

Beau looks toward the door and then back at me. “What's a code pink?”

I shrug and pull out the hospital directory to look at the code explanations.

“Oh god! Code pink is a missing infant!”

Beau jumps up and goes toward the door when an unfamiliar doctor and a uniformed security enter.

“Mr. and Mrs. Arlen. Please keep calm. We will find your son.”

My heart stops in my chest. I can't breathe. I can't feel anything. I am completely numb. My ears buzz as I stare at the men.

“I am an officer with the local station. Has the proper authorities been made aware?” Beau demands, his voice full of authority.

“Yes, sir. There is a unit on the way here now. The hospital is on lockdown. No one can come inside or leave the building. We will find your son.”

“I want to help,” Beau tells them, almost pleading.

“Officer Arlen, it's best if you stay in the room with your wife. She looks like she needs you.”

Beau turns to look at me and runs to my bedside.

“Baby? Baby? Talk to me. You're scaring me.”

He begins humming ‘You are my sunshine” like he used to do and it begins bringing me out of my panic attack.

I look up at him and start crying. “Who would steal a baby?”

Beau sits down on the edge of the bed and hugs me to his chest, continuing to hum.

“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine,” he sings low. “You make me so happy when the skies are gray. You'll never know how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.”

He kisses the top of my head. “They'll find him.”

We stay cuddled up for a few minutes before there is a knock at the door. The NICU nurse we have become most acquainted with walks in with a familiar blanket in her arms.

I reach out and she places my son in my arms. I hold him tightly to my chest as I kiss all over his head and face. He seems to be okay.

The nurse tells us an officer will be in momentarily and leaves. Beau joins me back in the bed and does his own scan, concluding that Archie is okay.

When the officer comes in, he clears his throat to get our attention. “We have the suspect in custody. She tried to use her nursing credentials to escape, which alerted the system.” He looks at Beau, who is now standing beside the bed. “This is where it gets tricky. It was, ahem, Carla Victoria Arlen.”

Carla is arrested and booked on kidnapping charges and Beau tells them to throw the book at her.

She pleads guilty which causes her to lose her nursing license and is sentenced to the minimum 20 years.

Archie not only recovers from being kidnapped at only 8 hours old but also gets a clean bill of health before being released.

His big sister is ecstatic and loves him immensely. Being a few weeks shy of 3 years old we have to keep vigil that she doesn't love on him too hard.

FIVE MONTHS LATER

“Millie, come grab your coat. You dad'll be here any minute,” I yell up the stairs.

“Ok Mommy,” Millie says as she descends. “Is he gon'a be in the powice caw?”

“Yes. He just got off shift and is taking you to daycare.”

“I hope he turns the siwen on. It's punny to see peopwe get outta da way for us.”

I smile at her and shake my head. Those two are two peas in a pod.

When Beau knocks, Millie takes off toward the door and screeches “DADDY!”, which makes him wince and then laugh.

“I thought we had a little girl, not a pterodactyl.”

“Wha's a tewa-, tewa-, wha’s dat?”

“It's a dinosaur, sweetheart,” he tells her as he picks her up. “Which is what I'm feeling like right now.”

You not a din’sauw, Daddy.”

Beau laughs and kisses her head as I enter with her lunchbag.

“I don't know. Daddy is getting pretty old,” I joke, getting a narrowed look from him.

“Pot meet kettle,” he retorts and we smile at one another. 

“Be good in school today, okay sweetie?” I say as I give her one last look-over to make sure she has everything.

“I will Mommy. Wuv you.”

“Love you baby girl.”

I tiptoe and give her a kiss on the cheek. Beau leans in and kisses my cheek as I kiss hers, causing Millie to giggle.

“Be back soon,” he says with a wink before walking out the door. As I'm waving them off, I hear whimpers through the monitor, alerting me that our son is awake and ready to wreak havoc.

I head upstairs to try and tame him until his Daddy returns and can help wrangle his spawn.

Your first love stays in your heart forever. I'm just lucky enough to have mine in my life too. 

I might have ran from him years ago but I returned. My love for him never wavering. And now it lives on in the heart of our children.

FOREVERS

Y/N glided gracefully from table to table, delivering and disposing of drinks and bottles around the crowded bar. Dean watched as she deftly maneuvered through the bodies, trying to make a dance floor of the space between tables. Arms up, breasts full and bouncing, hips weaving and swaying through the crowd. 

He could hardly keep his mind in the present and not reliving the romp in the sheets they'd had the night before. He knew from experience what those thick thighs felt like wrapped around him; could still feel the soft skin pressed on the sides of his head, how hot and wet her– 

“Need another?" A sultry voice asked from his side. 

Dean turned to face her, standing behind the bar, a smirk on his face. “Another…?”

She put her hand at the base of her neck, clutching invisible pearls. "Sir, are you coming onto me?” She asked, eyeing him cheekily. 

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Only if you ask nicely," he responded with a wink.

She threw her head back laughing, then poured him another double, neat. She winked back at him as she slid the tumbler down the bar to him. Dean had to admit, it wasn't often he met his match in the flirtation department, and Y/N gave him a run for his money. 

Sam was back at their hotel, getting everything packed up and closing up loose ends after they wrapped up the hunt earlier that day. Freaking witches. Y/N had actually been the one to point them in the right direction with some pillow talk after Dean made her cum twice. She thought she was just making conversation, a joke even, but it got Dean thinking, and it turned out to add up. 

Dean had felt something with her that he hadn't felt since Kassy, so he'd wanted to come back and say his goodbyes properly. Y/N got off at two, when the bar shut down, since it wasn't her night for the closing duties. Dean only had to wait about 45 minutes till he could have her again. 

Watching her and sipping on his whiskey had the time flying by, and before long it was last call, and Y/N was clearing off more and more tables as the people filed out. 

Dean put one of his favorite Zeppelin songs on the old jukebox and watched as she swayed her hips to the rhythm. As the words rang through the emptying bar, they hit Dean hard. She had made his stay great, but it was time for him to ramble on. Even if she was the queen of all his dreams. That was the story of his life. Find a little respite, and carry on. 

The bartender looked at Dean when it was time to lock up. He downed the last of his spirits, put the glass down on the other side of the bar, and saluted the burly man. Y/N caught him on his way out with a hand around his elbow. 

“I'll be out in about ten minutes," she assured him. 

“I'll be waiting," he answered. 

Dean waited in Baby, letting her warm up before Y/N came out. He busied himself by popping in another tape, tidying up the front floorboard, and drumming his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel. It wasn’t long before Y/N came bouncing out of the bar, straight for the passenger side, and let herself in. 

“Hit it!” she called out, like she’d just robbed the place. 

Dean chuckled and did as the lady bid. 

Once they got to Y/N’s apartment, she was ready to go. She'd hardly kept her hands off of him as they drove through town to get to her row of houses. If the drive had been longer, she probably would have given him road head. Dean wouldn't have argued. She had him rock hard and ready to blow before they ever left the bar. 

Y/N struggled getting her keys out to unlock the door, but once opened, Dean led them through and shut it tightly behind him. Y/N shoved him against it and began running her fingers up his shirt, twisting her nails around his nipples. He'd go back to Hell before admitting that nipple play was one of his biggest turn-ons, and it's like Y/N had plucked that fact straight out of his brain. But he couldn’t care less as she undid his pants and shucked her shirt off over her head, exposing her generous cleavage to him. 

“Damn, Y/N/N,” Dean hummed into the crook of her neck. 

Reaching around her, Dean unclasped her bra, then skimmed his hands down her back to grab her by the back of her thighs and lift her into his arms. She fit perfectly. Not for the first time, Dean wished she could always be pressed right against him. But that wasn’t his lot in life. 

Kissing her as well as he could while stumbling through the vaguely familiar space, Dean walked them to her bedroom. After placing her at the foot of the bed, he let his hands roam over her body until he got to the band of her shorts. With expert precision, he undid her button and fly, then, teasingly slow, for both of them, he pulled them down her thighs along with her underwear. She lifted her knees to wiggle the rest of the way out of her clothes, and then she was beautifully bare before him. 

Dean was no fool. He knew this was the last time he’d ever get to see her, to have her in this way. Unable to help himself, he took the extra moment to take her in: hair a mess, lips swollen from their kisses, silky smooth skin on display just for him. She lay back, braced on her elbows as she watched him undress. Her eyes were wide and hungry. 

Little Dean bobbed eagerly when he took off his boxer briefs. Y/N bit her lip as he exposed himself, no doubt holding herself back. Dean smiled and flexed, making himself bob again. He knew what he looked like and how much she wanted him. No reason he couldn’t have a little fun with it. 

Just as he’d intended, she giggled, still biting her lip, then she held her hands out to him. Chuck help him, he fell right into her embrace. The feel of her plush breasts against him had him moaning into their next frenzied kiss. Her nails dug into his back, holding him close, and urging him on simultaneously.

Not wanting the night to end too quickly, Dean kissed his way down her body, paying special attention to the places that made her moan and clutch his hair. He silently loved how expressive she was, he liked to know his work was appreciated. When he slid a hand up her thigh to feel how wet she was, he groaned at the confirmation of his efforts. With no hesitation, he slid two fingers into her and crooked them, rubbing that spot that would drive her wild. 

His cock was leaking, but he’d soon see to his own needs, after he made her come at least once. He kept up his ministrations as he kissed further down her body. She had a ticklish spot right above her right hip, and Dean rubbed his stubbled chin along that spot at the same time he pressed his thumb to her clit and stroked. She screamed out, and Dean smiled to himself. Her left hand was bunched up in the sheets, with her right was in his hair, pulling at the longer strands on top. 

Dean gave her hip a gentle kiss, then a nibble, before moving his mouth closer to where his hand was. She was chanting his name, along with affirmations and pleading commands. She was already so close; he wanted to taste it. 

Leaving his fingers inside her, Dean moved his thumb out of the way to make room for his tongue. He flicked her nub with the tip of his tongue, and her knees pulled in tightly around his head. He could hardly move, but didn’t need to to keep up his assault on her g-spot and clit. He kept pumping and crooking his fingers as his tongue worked at her throbbing clit. She was squeezing so tightly around him, he might have worried about losing consciousness. If he could get her to squirt for him, it’d be worth dying for. 

She was so close, he could feel it in the way her channel constricted around his fingers and her knees shook around him. Her breaths were coming quickly as she called his name and a series of curse words and deep guttural groans of pleasure. She was all but ripping his hair out from the roots as she held his head in place and ground her pussy against his face. He wanted to drown himself in her cunt. 

All at once, she constricted even tighter around him, then let go, releasing her hold on him as she came in a gush around his fingers and into his mouth. He flattened his tongue and lapped at her as she pulsed through her release. When she started to push his head away, he gave her a little kiss and a hum, then pulled his face away to grin up at her. 

Of course, she wasn’t looking at him; her eyes were squeezed shut with her arm over her face, and her flushed chest heaving with every breath. He loved his view. She was a stunning creature, Dean considered himself lucky to get to see her like this. 

“Fuck,” she breathed out. “Me,” she finished on another heavy breath. 

“That’s the plan,” Dean said as he removed his fingers from her drenched pussy. 

Slowly, he crawled up her body, planting soggy kisses along the way. She hummed and pulled him up to her face to kiss him, uncaring of his soaked state. Dean licked into her mouth, feeding her the taste of herself. He loved how badly she wanted it. 

Where Dean was happy to stretch out the proceedings, she was impatient. She wrapped her legs around him, holding his hips to hers, then reached down and grabbed his cock, giving it a couple of strokes before she lined him up to her entrance and urged his hips forward. Dean took the hint, thrusting slowly into her, drawing out the moment as much as he could with her heels digging into his ass. 

“In a hurry, Y/N/N?” Dean chuckled. 

“I just need you in me already,” she confessed. 

“Well, you got me,” for now, he added to himself.  

She clenched around him and brought his thoughts back to the present. He had a job to do, and it was his favorite job: make Y/N come on his cock. He shut off all thoughts of the imminent goodbye and let his body take control. He braced himself on his elbows and thrust into her wetness over and over until they were both riding the high of their connection. 

The wet slap of skin on skin mingled with their ragged breaths and groans. Much too soon, Dean felt the pull in his gut preceding his climax. Reaching down between them, he pressed his fingers against Y/N’s clit and began stroking furiously. She writhed beneath him and clenched around his cock, moaning and gripping him tight. Her entire body was thrumming with her need to come.

Y/N’s nails dug deep into Dean’s shoulder, hopefully leaving crescent moons that would stay for days so Dean could remember this precise moment. She let out a high-pitched moan, and then Dean felt her constrict and pulse around him. She flushed as she squeezed her eyes shut and slammed her hands against the headboard. She was breathtaking as she fell apart beneath him. 

Dean’s balls drew up tight, and he came with a—very manly—grunt of his own. To draw out both of their pleasure, he slowed his thrusts and eased his way in and out until he was too sensitive to keep going. He chuckled as he pulled all the way out and lay down beside her. He ran his fingers through his hair and put his arm out for Y/N to snuggle into. 

She ran her fingers along his chest as they let their breaths even out, and Dean traced little patterns on her shoulder with his eyes closed. He tried to burn every moment they spent together in his head. He wished he could stay a little longer, but Sam already had their next job lined up. In reality, they should have already hit the road, but Dean wanted just one more night with Y/N. 

Resigned to his fate, Dean let out a long breath. 

“I know why we have to say goodbye,” Y/N said quietly. “I just don't want to.” Dean was surprised she’d brought it up, the elephant in the room, but that’s part of what he liked so much about her. She was bold and brazen and resilient. She didn’t need him, she wanted him. The distinction was essential. 

“Me neither,” he admitted, holding her closer. 

He could smell her shampoo even over the smell of sex in the air. He took in a deep breath, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She shifted, then propped herself up on her elbows to look him in the face. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears, and her smile quivered. She was breaking Dean’s heart. 

“I get it,” she said, then blinked quickly. “You’ve gotta save the world.” She smiled brighter. “A very important job,” her voice shook as she said the last part.

Dean couldn’t take it anymore and wrapped her back up in his arms. He could feel pressure behind his eyes and hated himself for not being able to keep it together for her sake. He kissed the top of her head again as he held her close. 

After a moment, Dean reached down and pulled the blanket around them. He kept her in his arms until her breathing evened out and he knew she’d drifted off to sleep. Carefully, he extricated himself from her embrace and tucked the blanket around her. With the light coming in from the window, he found his clothes, got dressed, and walked to the bedroom door. 

Unable to stop himself, he turned around for one final look. Y/N was sleeping soundly, bathed in moonlight, looking as peaceful as Dean wished she would be for the rest of her life. Hating himself a little more, Dean turned and let himself out, locking the door on his way out. 

For a moment, he lamented Baby’s signature purr as he started her up and backed out of the driveway. A glance upward found Y/N standing at her window, watching as he left like a coward in the middle of the night. 

If he hurried, they could be out of the state by sunrise.

Cas explained that Dean had murdered not only Eli Styne, but the youngest boy, Cyrus, in cold blood. Dean wasn’t a murderer, he was a good man, and the fact that he had no remorse was most concerning of all. 

Sam and Cas were determined to keep working and the three of you parted ways, they were going back to Rowena, and you needed to find Dean. 

Luckily, the boys were predictable if you knew them, and you quickly found the Motel Dean was staying in. You knocked cautiously on the door, and heard a grunt from the other side.

“Go away, Sam,” Dean grunts, and you knock again. And again. And again. When Dean finally opens the door, he nearly pulls it off the hinges, and his expression changes from anger to shock.

“You shouldn’t be here, Y/N,” he growls. “Go home.”

“No, Dean,” you step into the doorway, stopping him from closing the door in your face. “I’m not leaving you.”

“Go away,” he grabbed at your arm aggressively, and you suspect there will be a bruise later. “I’m poison, you and Sam, you’re good, and whatever you’re trying to do, stop. Stop searching for a cure. I don’t want it.”

“Don’t do this, Dean. You’re not poison, you’re a good man–”

Dean whips you around, pulling you into the room, placing a hard kiss against your lips. A whirlwind of clothes are being ripped off as Dean moves you both towards the bed, his hands gripping at you roughly.

Dean’s enters you in a swift move, and starts fucking you hard. You wrap your legs around his waist, allowing him to get deeper inside of you, his calloused hands wrap around your throat, creating just enough pressure to ground you, and roll your hips as you feel your orgasm building. 

Dean flips you over, lifting your ass into the air, as you bury your head in the mattress, muffling your screams as Dean thrusts harder and faster. 

“Fuck, Dean…” You murmur into the bedsheets. “Please.”

He doesn’t need any more than that, removing his hand from your waist to rub at your bundle of nerves. Dean knows how to play you like a fine-tuned instrument, knowing exactly what to do to get you exactly where he wants you. 

“Dean!” 

Dean works you through your orgasm, chasing his own high as you come down from your own. Every movement of his hips become impossibly harder, and with a final, almost violent thrust, he cums inside you. 

Before you can even process another thought, Dean’s redressing, tucking himself away into his boxers. 

“Stop looking for a cure, Y/N. I don’t want it,” he instructs as he pulls his shirt over his head. “And tell Cas that next time, I won’t miss.”

Before you can respond, Dean’s out the door, and possibly out of your life forever.