viewers: have you ever wanted to visit canada?
joel, a normal guy: i would love to go visit gem and search for etho
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viewers: have you ever wanted to visit canada?
joel, a normal guy: i would love to go visit gem and search for etho

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gem needs to sit down etho and joel and have the three of them watch challengers together. i think it will benefit them greatly
SmallGemTho fake dating
Summary for the fic we are writing that has been rotating in our head for the past few weeks:
Gem and Joel run into each other as they both gather resources for their respective builds. They argue about who Etho likes, both completely convinced that the other is the true object of Etho's affections. Gem, in her resource gathering delirium, suggests that she and Joel fake date in order for them to decide who Etho actually likes. Joel’s favorite kind of ideas are bad ideas. It’s a match made in hell, really. A true House on Fire.
We've got the first chapter.... mostly done. I don't want to post it until I've gotten at least two chapters done though bc I don't want to leave a fic abandoned and incomplete and i'm Very Bad at finishing projects.
SmallishBeans was slain by Zombie
Gem stiffened. Joel was dead. Joel was red.
She changed screens on her communicator, and her mouth went dry. She was the only living person online at the moment. Her name, starkly white contrasting the handful of greys and two very ominous red names.
Joel and Etho.
Her heart slammed into her ribcage. This was okay. She was out on the ocean, harvesting coral. She hadn’t told anyone where she was going. So they wouldn’t be able to find her way out here. She’d had to go so far to find this, and she racked her brain trying to think if she’d mentioned she was coral hunting at all.
Everyone knew she had the permit… but surely they wouldn’t just comb the map for her, right? Surely Joel had things he’d been working on when he’d died and he’d continue to work on those and not jump immediately to murder…
Right?
The chat was eerily quiet. After the standard post-demise ribbing everyone seemed to have gone back to their tasks. Gem couldn’t stop checking it. If there were messages she could get a read on what they were doing, where they were.
But there was nothing.
“This is stupid,” she said out loud, feeling even more stupid for talking to herself, but continuing anyway, “I’m GeminiSlay. Nobody can mess with me.” Somehow a chill coral-gathering session didn’t feel all that badass, but the words bolstered her and she dove down with her silk touch pickaxe to continue her work.
It was peaceful, beneath the water. Warm oceans were so clear, a bright blue backdrop splashed with brightly-coloured coral. Gem let the tension leave her body and lost herself in her task, enjoying the grind.
When she’d gathered enough to fill her dredge-inspired boat, she changed into dry clothes and wrung out her hair, leaving it long and loose to air dry on the way back. The warm breeze as she drove would feel so good, and damn the frizzy mane her curls would become. The secret to happiness was making the most of the little things, right?
As she emerged from the cabin, her blood turned to ice at the sound of laughter in the distance. Two very distinct laughs, one an ominous chuckle, the other a cackle with an edge of hysteria.
Her heart rate tripled. How close were they? Should she go for her sword or for the throttle? The moment of indecision cost her the choice anyway as a shadow fell from above her. She whirled, taking a step back and looking up at Joel’s silhouette, standing atop her cabin.
“Etho, look what I found,” he drawled, eyes blazing red as a feral grin took over his face. “Treasure.”
[read on ao3] - mind the tags, ssc everyone
15 seconds · Clipped by AllieCat523 · Original video "Hermitcraft 10: Accidental PvP Arena! - Ep.15" by GeminiTay
Joel: You would say that- that the person who built those statues and you didn't get one is a genius?
Gem: ...No. I would say that Etho is a genius.
Joel: (saddest wet cat voice) Well. That's. Not what I wanted to hear.

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guess who finally fucking posted chapter 1 of the smallishtay/gemjoel (with eventual smallgemtho) fake dating au.
i'm so so sorry it took this long BUT. chapter 2 is also done and i have chapter three basically fully outlined.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
i ship romantic smallgemtho but only platonic smalletho bc i contain multitudes
do i post chapter 1 of the smallgemtho fake dating fic now or after i have chapter 2 done
i think i've got the editing done (thanks to my wonderful irl @bonesandthingsgoboom who helped me edit!!) but chapter 2 is still a pretty big wip