oh god i just remembered a dream i had last night where i somehow won a phannie sweepstakes that i didn’t sign up for and the prize was dan and phil staying at my house for two days.
the first night, i was going to sleep on my bedroom floor. i hadn’t seen them yet, so i wasn’t even 100% sure the phweepstakes was legit. but just as i was going to sleep, i looked up, and there they were.
dan was in my laundry room (which is right across the hall from my bedroom), doing my laundry (most unrealistic part of the dream, but as he fucking should). and phil? phil was standing like he was in this picture:
just🧍🏼but with a face more like slime!phil:
mixed with the energy of his reaction to dan saying superstitions aren’t real:
so basically, this is what i saw:
(that’s the actual view of my laundry room from my bedroom floor)
so i made eye contact with phil, which was a huge mistake. he started stomping towards me, slowly but with really intense stomps, like it was hard for him to move. dan turned around momentarily and then seemed to realise what phil was about to do, and without reacting, turned back to my laundry.
phil was getting closer, and i knew i was in trouble. as quickly as i could, i pulled out my phone to snap a picture for proof that they were in my house, because i always have dreams within dreams that i saw dan and phil and then would wake up still within the dream and have no proof. i managed to capture two shaky pictures before phil reached me and everything went black.
then i woke up (still in my dream) in a room i didn’t recognise. my mom was in the bed next to me. “mom, where did dan and phil go?!?!”
she looked at me confused. “what are you talking about?”
i didn’t answer her, i just asked, “where’s my phone?” my hands were shaking, i knew in that moment that at least part of it had been a dream, but i also felt deep within me that it really happened. i just needed the picture to show her, so she’d believe me.
i found my phone and unlocked it. with shaking hands, i went to my camera roll and clicked on the first picture.
the picture did show my laundry room, but dan and phil weren’t in it. there was, however, a blurry shape in the center. my mom assumed that it was just because the picture was bad quality, but i knew. i knew it was phil. and i knew that no one would ever believe me, that i would have to live with the truth for the rest of my life.
a bunch of other shit happened not related to dnp before i actually woke up for real, but that’s not what’s important.
what’s important is this: do not EVER let phil lester into your house. if he does manage to get in though, PROMISE me, whatever you do, you won’t look him in the eyes.
definitely let dan in though. he’ll do your laundry.
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me, waking up drenched in sweat, violently sitting up in bed and letting out a gasp: IT'S A METAPHOR FOR BEING A YOUTUBER
idk if someone already thought of this and this is also probably the most obvious reading of it but here i go anyway: i was just walking a dog and listening to potato prints and when phil said "you've come a long way daniel" i was like "huh phil is in the teaching position in all of these just like he was for youtube" like phil just gives editing pro tips the whole time and it all parallels their story as a youtube duo.
and obviously the entertainment industry is rife (not proper usage of that word but it Feels Right so fuck you) with satanic symbolism/imagery/iconography/motifs. being an entertainer is "selling your soul to the devil" etc etc and we know dan hates being a youtuber and does feel that way. you gotta upload twice a day every day in order to be the number one art channel on youtube dot com after all. you gotta make those crafts for satan. bo burnham has a ton of lyrics/songs that i'm thinking about rn like "you used to do comedy when you felt like being funny but now you're contractually obligated so dance you fucking monkeeeey DANCE MONKEY DAAAANCE" and in "repeat stuff" which is a commentary of how mainstream pop love songs and pop stars have to be really superficial and unoriginal because they need to appeal to everyone and at one point he sucks satan off lmao and is like AHFRUEHQFWIIO I AM A VESSEL IDUSHISKA 666 KAJSDFI ILLUMINATI UIGDFSAHIO FREEMASONS. highly recommend looking at the lyrics to that song if you're into that kind of thing.
also the (very rightful) dig at phannies for the "don't cry craft" spamming like "we love all of our crafty audience that spread the message of this channel on all the other videos on the internet! everywhere! everybody enjoyed that!" is how creators who want to keep status have to address their audiences no matter how annoying or harmful they're being. thinking of the ajr line "stay out of politics, stay on the fence / stay out of all of it to keep half your fans" because like,, yeah if a creator ever expresses an opinion that declares their feelings on one side of an issue then they will lose support (smosh is a perfect example of a bunch of people never ever ever expressing an opinion if it could be considered controversial among their audience, like refusing to address the genocide happening right now and just taking their zionist member who the fans are mad at out of some videos to be like "shhhhh nothing to see here we don't know what you're talking about"), ESPECIALLY if that issue is the behaviour of their audience.
obviously the first dapc video was not made with any intended meaning, they just woke up and were like "let's be weird and freak people out" and they did that, and then adding in symbolism and making it all mean something developed with time. but i'm gonna pretend that it has always had consistent meaning because i'm neurodivergent and love overanalysing silly little media.
i am so jhfbvdahfkiufadkhlj right now so if anyone has more theories or things to add lmk and thank you for coming to my ted talk
*grabbing you by the shoulders, shaking you violently, screaming in your face*
I WANT TO WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT PHANNIE CULTURE AND HUMOUR!!!! I WANT TO DO A COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS BETWEEN THE PHANDOM AND OTHER FANDOMS AND WHY AND HOW THE PHANDOM CAME TO BE THE INFAMOUS AND NOW RELATIVELY ISOLATED PLACE THAT IT IS!!!!! I WANT TO DO RESEARCH STUDIES ON DAN AND PHIL’S APPEAL TO QUEER NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE!!!!!! I WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY WE ARE SO INVESTED IN THESE REAL PEOPLE IN A VERY UNIQUE AND SPECIFIC WAY!!!! I WANT TO KNOW THE CHANGING PERSPECTIVES AND BEHAVIOURS OF PHANNIES WHO HAVE BEEN HERE FOR 10 OR MORE YEARS!!!!! I WANT TO STUDY PHANDOM LINGUISTICS AND HOW OUR LEXICON CHANGES AND GROWS WITH DAN AND PHIL!!!!! I WANT TO DISCUSS AND DISSECT WHAT MAKES TWITTER PHANNIES AND TUMBLR PHANNIES HATE EACH OTHER WHEN ITS THE SAME PEOPLE AND HOW THE DIFFERENT CULTURES OF TUMBLR (COLLECTIVISM, ANONYMITY) VS TWITTER (INDIVIDUALISM, DIRECT INTERACTION WITH CREATORS, THE RESPONSE TO GETTING A NOTICE) IMPACT THIS DYNAMIC!!!! I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT THE CYCLE OF PHANDOM DISCOURSE AND WHY WHENEVER THERE IS A CONTENT DROUGHT PEOPLE START SHIT AND HOW WE CAN STOP DOING THAT BECAUSE ITS NOT GOOD FOR OUR MENTAL HEALTH!!!!! I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE PHANDOM’S POWER AND HOW WE ACCOMPLISH DIRECT ACTION ABNORMALLY FAST FOR AN ASYNCHRONOUS GROUP OF STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET!!!!! I WANT TO MAKE A PHOCUMENTARY AND EXPLORE THE WORLD OF DAN AND PHIL AND THE COMMUNITY AND INTERVIEW EVERY SINGLE VIEWER AND LEARN EVERY SINGLE PERSON’S EXPERIENCE!!!!!! I WANT TO DO AN IN DEPTH DISSECTION OF THE PHASES/ERAS OF THE PHANDOM!!!!! I WANT TO CONFRONT PHANNIES’ SUPERIORITY OVER EACH OTHER AND THE TENDENCY TOWARDS CONTEMPT AND OTHERING EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF COGNITIVE DISSONANCE!!!!! I WANT TO GET INTO ACCESSIBILITY IN THE PHANDOM AND WHY ITS SUCKS AND HOW WE CAN IMPROVE IT!!!!!! I WANT TO HAVE A HUGE DISCUSSION ABOUT HOW DESPITE HOW LEFT WING THIS AUDIENCE IS WE HAVE A TENDENCY TO STEP ON AND SILENCE POC PHANNIES WHEN THEY EXPRESS BEING NEGATIVELY IMPACTED BY SOMETHING DNP SAID IN THEIR PAST AND HOW ITS GOOD ACTUALLY TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SOMETHING WAS HARMFUL ESPECIALLY IF YOURE A FAN OF THAT PERSON AND WE SHOULD ENCOURAGE THESE DISCUSSIONS AND WE DONT NEED TO IMMEDIATELY GO ON THE DEFENSIVE WE CAN JUST LISTEN!!!!! I WANT TO TRULY THOROUGHLY EXPLORE THE ETHICS OF RPF AND WHERE THE LINES ARE AND BOUNDARIES!!!!! I WANT TO FIGURE OUT THE GENERAL OPINIONS OF PEOPLE ON LABELLING DAN AND PHIL AND WHY WE DO THAT AND WHAT IS OKAY AND WHAT ISNT!!!!!! I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT DEMON PHANNIES AND COMPLICITY AND DANNIES AND PHILLIES AND PHLESBIANS!!!!!!!! STOP TRYING TO ESCAPE ME I HAVE TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE THEY FORCE ME BACK INTO THE PHENCLOSURE!!!!!
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y’all don’t understand, horror is my favourite thing ever. if i’m on youtube and i’m not watching dnp, i’m watching horror shit. i google “most disturbing movies of all time” and then i watch all of them. i love to be scared and creeped out. i watch a24 horror films religiously. the weirder the better. i love absurdism. i love surrealism. the more abstract, confusing, nonsensical, chaotic, and traumatising, the more it will resonate with me. i love blood and gore. i love satanic shit and cults and ghosts and weird symbolism. so i watch this:
like this:
i am so happy right now and can’t stop giggling with glee. crafties for life teeheeheehee 🖤👹🎨👺🖌️😈🩸🪦🔪
a few days ago i started a discord server for a collaborative analysis of danandphilcrafts because of the response to this post and we want to see if more people are interested, especially artists but anyone who has any ideas or wants to participate in any way whatsoever can join!
i imagine there are people who wanted to join originally but i didn’t tag anyone in my post with the link that i didn’t see explicitly saying they wanted to do it, so please let me know if you’re interested and i’ll send you the discord link!!
(it’s very low stakes and if someone thinks they want to do something but then can’t for whatever reason or change their mind it’s all good, it’s just for fun)
