#slffvii

[19:31] Bruce North removes his mask, to reveal a huge grin, "You ever been attacked by a toilet before?"

[19:32] Alleria: ....a what?!

[19:35] Bruce North: "You heard me, a toilet, shitter, super bowl. The average porcelain, fucking throne, of fecal disposal. Ever had one trying to kill you?"

[19:35] Bruce North: "Or eat you?"

[19:37] Alleria: ......No, thats the stupidest thing I ever heard, a sentient toilet.

[19:39] Sai Lihnn strode into the bar, kicking the dirt off her sandals before entering. Dumb slums. Dirt everywhere. She'd have to re-do her pedicure. Oh, woe. Woe is she. Or, you know, not wear open toed shoes down here. But anyway... yes.. Sai strolled into the bar, immediately taking a seat with something of a flourish.

[19:42] Alleria takes a moment to look over and nod towards the newcomer, and surprisingly enough she reconised her as the woman she met when she was a green cadet....no pun intended.

[19:42] Bruce North holds up a hand, "Whether you think it's stupid or not, it's a true story. Also haven't said what happened yet. So, I volunteer at the Soup Kitchen, on the plate, and I see that there's a toilet sitting in front of the door..." He pauses to look at the new female. He nods to her, "Anything I can get you?"

[19:44] Sai Lihnn smiled brightly to the bartender. "Bourbon please. Neat." Her green eyes flicked over to Alleria then, and that smile remained. "Hey! I totally know you. How are you doing?"

[19:46] Alleria smiles and waved towards Sai. "I know you too! And I'm just enjoying a quiet evening down here in the slums...having some drinks, forgetting about paperwork and dull ass roams and patrols for one night."

[19:47] Bruce North nods and fixes up the requested drink, "As I was saying, I go to do some work there, and I see there's a toilet sitting at the door. I examined it, and it was just a normal toilet." He hands the drink over to the new patron, "I wasn't informed by the owner, that a toilet was ordered. But I tried to move it anyways. But the thing won't budge, as if it was bolted. Weird thing is, it wasn't bolted to the ground."

[19:48] Sai Lihnn laughed softly. "Stars, I know what you mean. I can't imagine doing those patrol things. I mean, do you ever even change your route?" she inquired, as she turned to listen to the bartender's story. She sipped at her drink as it was handed over. "...You're not shittin' us, are you?"

[19:50] Alleria sighed and nodded. "I try...on every other day to change it up, but theres only so many variations until you've done them all." She replied and gazed back to the tender. "What was it bolted to then?"

[19:53] Bruce North shakes his head and chuckles, "This is from first hand experience, honest." He then shrugs, "It wasn't bolted to anything, but there was a hole in the ground, and some sort of brown tube going into it. If I remember correctly, it moved inside the hole. Or something along those lines."

[19:57] Sai Lihnn took another sip, looking over to Alleria a moment, and then back to the bartender. "Man, sounds like you all had a pretty fun potty." Yes, she was going to keep doing this.

[20:01] Bruce North: "Well, I knew something was up, so I said screw it. Pulled out my sword, and smashed it open. If it was a normal toilet, I would have paid for the replacement.....but it turned out to be something else."

[20:05] Sai Lihnn was actually quite enthralled by this tale. Despite her shitty puns, she was actually really enjoying this. "What else was it? I mean, there are only so many things that a toilet that's not a toilet can be. I mean, unless I misturd something."

[20:10] Bruce North pinches the bridge of his nose, as he fights back a laugh, "Yeah....that's what you'd think. The hole, turned into a giant flesh monster, with tentacles. Which was quiet a surprise.""

[20:12] Sai Lihnn was keeping the most straight face imaginable. She was good at this. Of course, having an eleven year old son kinda helped with that. "A flesh monster with tentacles? Oh man. I've seen those before. They're gross. But I suppose you did your doody to defeat it?"

[20:15] Bruce North let out a chuckle, "Just shut up with the puns. Anyways, yeah, I was running and climbing up walls. Trying to get away from that thing, as I was thinking of a way to fight it. But the bastard was on my tail the whole time."

[20:17]  "No more puns?" she asked, looking almost.. pouty. "Well, if you say so, then that's the end of scat." Still, somehow, Sai wasn't cracking herself up at the puns, as much as she really wanted to. She was good at making herself laugh, but perhaps not everyone else... "But seriously, what happened then?" [20:20] Bruce North: "You may save them for after the story. So after discovering, my fire magic was useless, I just kept dodging its attacks. Luckily, someone came to help. Though it sounds like he's seen something like it before. So I got some distance, and readied my blade. It was just the two of us, alone on that street with the monster."

[20:21] Sai Lihnn frowned, as she tried to imagine what had been going on. "Facing a monster by yourself isn't easy. So yeah, good thing you had a hand. Would have been a crappy situa-- Gah! Sorry, that one wasn't intentional!"

[20:25] Bruce North shakes his head and laughs, "It's alright. Anyways, the two of us initiated combat with it. It was a tough ass creature....I'm sure that one created a pun for you to fire out. But yeah, we barely survived the fight, once I scored the finishing blow to it. It was just chaotic, slashes and tentacles were everywhere. But we survived. I was in a bad condition, but not as bad as the other. So we walked it off, after collecting some rewards from the corpse."

[20:29] Sai Lihnn bit down hard on her lip, to keep from making one of those puns that was just opened up to her. It took a second or two to compose herself, and she nodded. "Go on. ..It started as a toilet, turned into a fleshy tentacle monster... was there something else after you defeated it? Or was it finally dung and over with?"

[20:31] Bruce North: "Nope, that's it. Otherwise I would have been dead, or at least in the hospital."

[20:32] Sai Lihnn: "That's actually pretty amazing. Like, I am seriously, genuinely entertained. Though I have to admit, it's a little far fetched. If I didn't know stuff like that happened, I wouldn't believe you and would think you were stooling me."

[20:35] Bruce North smiles and nods, "That's why I was sharing it. It's an entertaining story, compared to paperwork and boring patrols. And, I'm an adventurer, I'm supposed to have stories."

[20:38] Sai Lihnn nodded. "I think I have all of the puns out of my system. ..Heh.. heh. Out of my system. But stories are good. I enjoy stories.. I have a few of my own, but I like listening to others.

[20:41] Bruce North nods, "You'll have to tell me one, sometime. You'll find me, at one of my several jobs, when I'm actually in town. So feel free to visit. But right now, it's getting rather late, and should wrap things up."

[20:42] Sai Lihnn: "I understand that. I have a few things to take care of myself. You're here, and the soup kitchen on the plate, yeah?"

[20:43] Bruce North: "Yup, and the slums clinic, and Aquacure, and a few other organizations."

....And in every post, I made a poop pun. Just had to share this. Under a cut, of course, because of length and ..well.. poop jokes.

"He knows that... we...were fighting a war. That we were doing things that in peace time we would have never done. Will he be addicted to the chaos like us? I don't know. But the one thing I know is he has loving parents who changed for him. Who sacrificed for him. That are still there for him."