#sleep paralysis.

ghost who's so rough looking and antisocial that sex becomes a hassle. not the act itself – he sure loves getting his dick wet. but the entire social ritual to get there. so he ends up turning to porn 9 times out of 10. porn won't make him buy them a drink before he can pull his dick out. porn can't say no or turn him down because he's so fundamentally unsettling. porn doesn't waste his time.

the result is that he becomes entirely impatient about people and extremely practical about his own needs. the thought of chatting someone up becomes increasingly exhausting, when he can just open his browser and jack off to strangers enacting his favourite fantasies instead.

but then there's soap, who's so confident and matter-of-fact, he doesn't seem bothered by ghost's utilitarian lack of grace. when they start having sex, ghost insists on keeping it rough, impersonal. it's partly because it's what he's used to by now, what he knows for sure will get him off. but it's also because if they fuck fast and hard then there's no time for soap to notice how uncomfortable he is with suddenly being with another person, after wanking to a screen for so long.

soap is no porn star. he fights, he complains when he's displeased, he does things his own way. once, when ghost tries to choke him on his cock without warning, soap bites down so swift and confidently, tears spring to ghost's eyes.

Ghost: his father spouted religious verses nearly everyday, but his mum believed in God so much. He only goes once a year, and that's because his family is buried in the cemetery behind the church. He puts flowers down and drinks a cuppa no matter the weather.

Gaz: He goes with Ghost sometimes (ghost/gaz shipper here) but never actually goes to the graves. He sits inside of the church, looking up at the stained glass windows, wondering if the sins he's committed are truly unforgivable. Has he condemned himself to an afterlife of suffering? Is he even worthy of an afterlife?

Soap: Does not go. You couldn't drag him into a church even if he was unconscious. His rosary sits in his pocket, heavy and burning, but he no longer repeats a prayer before missions, no longer asks God to forgive him at night.

Price: Orphanage Price raised by nuns! He likes to think he's apathetic to the catholic church, can walk in and out normally, will work with the church if he has to. But inside? That little boy in him cowers when a sister raises her hand, flinches at the scolding tone for "taking the lords name in vain".

-🦴

GHOSTGAZ SHIPPER LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

gaz, who wonders and suffers about how far he's gone for what he believes in. and he does believe in their work. he thinks what they do is right... even if that word has lost some of its meaning somewhere along his path, and the line between right and wrong looks more like a long stretch of dark, choppy waters than an actual line these days. he sits here, hands clasped, hoping for repentance. for absolution. but the desire feels hollow, insincere. even as he grasps at faith for guidance, he knows the familiar deep, rumbling voice that echoes in his head, murmuring the cold, hard truths of the universe, does not belong to God.